Liquid Food

Picklebacks and Nickelbacks. Welcome to another episode of Jesse and Wilders. Guide to Life. I'm Jesse.

That's wilder. We're going to guide your life on this very special day. Picklebacks and Nickelbacks, sort of a clear winner in that one. Well, depends on who you're talking to.

Chad Kroger, for example. Yeah, what's he's have to say about it? He would probably prefer to be a pickleback, if I'm being honest. I heard you have Kroger on the line right now.

Can you tell? What's Kroger's? Hey, Kroger just stepped on the call. Kroger, what do you have to say about it?

Nickel in a conference event? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, it's on your end. So go ahead.

I thought that was going to be better. I don't know why. You think I had a bigger intro? Here's the problem.

I don't even know any Nickelback songs, so I couldn't even really sing a lot. Yeah, yeah. What's one of their big hits? Let me catch you off a little bit of my mom's wedding song.

Look at that photograph. Oh, the Ponegger. That's why you're doing EdVed, dude. It's not because they do their...

It is EdVed. It's all those bands. Hootie. I don't know.

They're all... They're all... We could just do that. Actually, should we scrap the episode and just do like, I'm going hungry.

Just do the whole... Yeah, Jeremy's focus. Oh, no. Maybe we do the episode.

What are you doing? So we both drink a hot toddy, this thing's worth mentioning, and uncoordinate. Yeah, unaccident. I...

Yeah. Damn, dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog.

I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog.

What's your booze of choice in a toad? A burb. What do you like? A rye.

I like to go a little lemon, a little honey. What's your tea? What kind of tea? I like applespies.

Oh, you're doing tea. Interesting. Yeah, that's what... How do you make hot todds?

I'm here to jigging it up with like a real gray or whatever. Cinnamon, apple, spoise. I do have one thing for you though, and I do think that you need to check your texts. Because Griswaltzberg, we're throwing the grrr off.

It's serious, Nerks. Wow. Disgusting. You already know about this.

Yeah. Boy, they look even worse than I thought. I haven't done it yet, so I am opening the mic up right now. Okay, well, you open them up.

I will explain what they are and then you could give the context maybe. I guess however context needed. However much you want to give. What he has in front of him...

Oh! This is Archie McPhee's sardine candy canes. Extra fancy says the package. Extra fancy.

So when you open it, I expect it to smell. They are all individually wrapped. And then when you open the wrapper... You got a stink to it.

Please explain. He does. Let me just get you a picture of this. It just looks like perhaps like a candy cane that's gone bad or if the Grinch wasn't charged to making candy canes, they would be this color.

So the smell is not like a sardine or fishy at all. It's a bad smell. Is it like a candy cane? Is it a pepperminty type of?

No, it's not. I'm just going to take a breath and put this on my mouth on purpose. But this sardine candy cane in my mouth on purpose. Yeah, she was only on the foot now baby.

It wasn't always easy. Oh my god, that was so bad. Did you already spit it out? Come on.

Dude, I threw it in the trash. I thought it broke. Oh my god. Find out how to look and suck on it for a while.

I can't put that back in my mouth. Oh my fucking god. Alright, let me ask you something. Let me get some information.

Let me set some context here. Oh, I really thought I was going to throw up. Did you hear that noise I just made? It was gross.

Yeah, it was gross for me. I can only imagine. Yeah, I guess. It depends on the situation.

I'm not just sitting here slurping sardines, as I record the podcast, usually. But I could do a little le bocarone situation with a little bread or some nice olive oil or a Cesar salad. And what's your candy cane position? I think we both are negative to them, right?

That's a bad. No, I like candy canes in the same situation. It's a beautiful olive oil and bread maybe in a pasta. Of course, yes, of course.

So you'll never believe it, but these are fucking gross. I'm not refused to put that in my mouth again because oh my god. Okay. It's gross and it feels like a gag.

Aren't you like turning a profit on these? No, there's no way. I mean, it's a novelty gift, right? It's like, it's like, yeah, mac and cheese flavored gum.

There's not a reason other than in that funny. Now my ingredients. It's got something to me. No sugar, corn syrup, water, artificial flavors.

Well, there it is. Yeah, that's the ticket. And then some dyes and titanium dioxide. That sounds dangerous, huh?

That is so fucking nasty. Wow. I thought that maybe have a little bit more entertainment value, but really it's just like me trying to convince myself to hurl. Oh, I can't wipe my mouth out with some toddy.

Shout out to Bad Todd as he washes. Bad Todd, yeah, who the drinks named after, I believe. Yep. So we are here not to talk more about discussing solid food.

We are here to talk about liquid foods. Now I think food, liquid food. I think this came about, so it's basically liquid consumables that are not considered a beverage. And I think this came about because we were having a classic discussion of like, is curry soup situation.

Well, to get to the nitty-gritty of it people. And don't look, if you're even going to begin with the fucking supposition that soup is a beverage, eat shit. You could drink it out of your little cambals to go cup if you want. You don't go to a restaurant and they say what you have to eat and you say eggs and they say to drink and you say a cup of tomato soup, please.

Yeah, I mean, if you think soup is a beverage, guess what? Your blood is a beverage. For me, after I destroy your whole existence. So I think obviously, first category, you're going to be soup.

This is your first episode. First of all, happy new year too. You're welcome to hell. Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.

Yeah. And soup is sort of what we deal in over here. So soup, the subtitle for this podcast. I want to fire a couple other categories off before we get into soup if that's OK.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got dips, right? Sure. You got sauces, which I think dips and sauces are different, but there's going to be overlap.

It's going to be tough. We cannot get hamster on too much on decoding these. I think sauces and gravy are the same. Like category.

Can we say same like sauces? Yeah. Yeah. I am a gravy baby and I do think that it is a sauce.

And now curry boy. Curry boy. Is curry a separate? You think curry is separate?

I do. I for now I need it to be separate. I'm not ready. It's not a dip and it's not soup.

Well, I know there it's OK. We'll put it separate. Now I have one. It's not a sauce.

I have one I think is going to surprise you a little bit here. Go on. Accidental. Liquid foods.

Oh, and what does that mean? Let me give you a four example and I think it's a two to be honest. OK. Melt an ice cream.

Yeah, I find that that'll do. And it's oh, you're putting it in very, pretty good. Yeah, you're what you wanted a very not quite lit. Yeah, I got a very not quite lit.

But like I think it's about about that time about to drop a new disgusting rickshaw fact on you. Rickshaw likes it. Soopy baby. Yeah, he does.

Let's it melt a little bit so we could get it. Soopy a little soopy boy. I can't stand it. Now what of a smoothie because that's not a beverage.

It's as much of beverage as it is a food I believe. Like a fucking I think it's a beverage you have instead of a meal. I think it's a beverage. I think it's a thick beverage.

So it's a milkshake because here's here's what I'll say. Can I can I make this distinction and maybe maybe this will put it to bed and maybe it won't. A smoothie I'm never eating with a utensil. All of this other shit I need a utensil.

Even if it's to spread a dip. Is a straw a utensil? No way, dude. No way.

Yeah, I drink my soda with a utensil. No way. I don't know. I can't I can't even cause it's saying that you don't need a utensil implies that you could do it.

Yeah, straw. Do you like smoothies? Let me ask you this. I like I like a Jamba juice, which is more like a dessert than a correct first of all.

Second of all, let me tell you this. That's melted ice cream. I mean, there is like a lot of ice cream in those and they blend it to. No ice cream has to be a category.

All right, fine. Accidental because that's on purpose. Yeah, but sometimes you're having your bowl of ice cream and you get to the bottom and it's a little that little. I understand what I understand how ice cream melts.

I fucking get it, dude. But you tell me a smoothie is melted ice cream. I don't know. I'm saying specifically Jamba juice smoothies that you just said you like are literally.

So they are used because they are affecting like because they have like sort of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Then here's what I'm going to say so that we can just get the fuck out of smoothie town. Can we just make smoothies a bonus point and leave it because like. Yeah, I guess so because what we can do like a smoothie town is the name of my next album. Carrots very not quite like I can't just to list all the smoothie agreements and be fine with that.

You know what I mean? Yes, smoothies fine. Do you ever get a smoothie like from a not jump juice? I don't think I've ever ordered one from not jumping juice.

No, but I make him at home. Fairly so. Oh, you make him at home. I do make him my own my own smoothies here at home at the crib.

I would be shooting for me own smoothies. I didn't like pirate. That's not really what she does. No, no, I think you're thinking of your best part start believing in smoothies.

I could start a little both of them. Yeah, I fix myself up a smoothie. I feel like you can't even fuck everywhere else. It's like pure juice.

It's not smoothie. Right? If you're people like him at Gelsons. I don't know about I don't know shit about Gelsons.

All right, let's get look for it in smoothie town. Can you give me the fuck I turn the car around. I was fast. I was accelerating out of smoothie town and you fucking flip to you.

Tell me more about accidental liquid food. Okay. I have a very fucking what else you got when you leave some candy in your hot car. It melts.

Oh, no melted. So all you're just doing melted stuff that wasn't supposed to be melted. Can you give me an example of accidental liquid food that is not melted something else? Yeah, but it's also ruined.

I'll give you another ruin. Yeah, hit me. You ever take your compost out and you didn't put any liquids in there? No, no, no, that's not.

I mean, yeah, all the stuff that wasn't supposed to be accidents are not usually delicious unless it's like, I don't know fucking the first day at the Pringles factory when they accidentally slice that potato chip tooth in or whatever that commercial said that happened. But I just want to leave accidental there. Maybe we'll come up with some other stuff. Just let it let's talk to me about soup, dude.

Just let's just get out of our system. Talk to me about soup. What's your favorite soup? Oh my god.

Just like I didn't think I wanted it and then I went to a place that had it. Ooh, French onion. And I don't get it that often but. Oh, fronion.

I got the dinner right now. Oh, that fucking fronion I told you about that we had in Carmel. It was slamming. I love that fucking fronion and I...

And do you love a fronion? Are we putting fronion as a three? Yeah. Fronions are three.

You know who doesn't have good fronion? Panera. It sucks at Panera. It's not incredible.

It's not incredible. Which is not surprising. That's a lot of elavity to expect the fucking flavor technicians at Panera bread. The flavor technicians is correct.

To like brew some fucking cheese on top of a fresh bread or crouton. Yeah. That's not it. Can I lump every...

I feel like the answer is definitely no. Can I lump every chowder into a two? Can we just say chowder's or two? Yeah, and like I guess they're a two.

No, they're a two dude. Think about corn chowder. What are you... Why are they not a three?

I know. I have a fucking chowder dude. Ciao. D'er.

Are you on your mind? Alright. I'll say it's a three. I'll say it's a three.

I just like... We're gonna have to draw a line somewhere. Otherwise we're gonna have 65 three soups and we're gonna be an hour into this. Okay.

Me so soups three. I love it. I also... I feel certain that we've talked...

We've had soup as a category before. I'm sure it wasn't its own episode. Yeah, I apologize. Whatever retreading we're due.

I don't... It's fucking February. It's cold. We need some soup.

All the big Asian hits. Hot and sour. Fa. Tom Yum.

All the big hits. Can I say Fa is a two please? Yeah, I like it as a hangover here. It's very utilitarian for me.

Yeah, that's fine. The issue with Fa is that I find personally in my experience. Boy, high highs and low lows with Fa. Hmm.

Sometimes it's bland as fuck. Or that meat that just does not look how you want it to. Uh huh. It's got a lot of tendrils on it.

So Fa is a two. Hot and sour. Yes. Ramen.

Yes. Three. Obviously. Do you like a spotch?

I don't fuck with a spotch. It's okay. Here's the problem. I do like a spotch.

I just wish there was ever a good time. Like I'm not... If I am in fact traversing the great sand dunes and it's a hot day and someone says I have a beautiful ice cold gas spotch for you. I'd be like sick.

Bring it. It's a two to me borderline one. I'll never order it. I'll be honest with you.

I think that's kind of sucks. Can we give it a one dude? No I can't give it a one. But you know what I have recently this summer and it absolutely banged up.

Was a chilled cucumber soup in the summer. Interesting. It was fucking good. I'll take your word for it.

That sounds... How much is chilled soups are two? Okay. Yeah.

That's fine. I have covers of ramen ones. It wasn't very good. No that's not it.

Chilled soups. No good for me. A tomato. A liquid food.

A what? Like you get it with like a little like some beer. Is that... It's not really food.

It feels like a drip to me. Yeah. So it's basically like it would be in the same category as like... Yeah.

And you're dipping that. That's a dip. Okay. So that's yeah.

Consume is a three. Joo. I think is a two. Are you a big joo guy?

I don't mind it. I mean what am I saying no to? I'm always going to dip it. Yeah.

It's but I could give it a two. Wait a minute. You slammed us into the soup town and then you really like pulled the parachute. Well I just kind of took off.

What soup don't you like? Yeah. I could take or leave a minist drone to me. It's a two.

It's just I'm never... Two. You know what? It sucks because like the mountain top is amazing but it almost always sucks and I want to give it a one is like chicken soup.

Yeah like chicken noodle? Yeah it's just like the chicken almost always tastes like fucking bung hole unless you're at like you know some restaurant is known for the reminds me chicken soup. Yeah I'll give it a I think almost always it sucks. I'll give it a two but what about this?

What about matzabal soup brother? You drain this blood. You'll just see a lot of matzabal soup. Yeah that's actually what your doctor keeps warning you about.

My organs are matzabal soup. Yeah. Yours and your doctors like your organs are so soft. They've been sopping for too long and it's super blood.

Hell yeah dude. I am not a I don't actually know what do we what is Chappino is that a that's a stew and I can't it's here I don't oh stew dude fuck stew I know it's that soup. It's some of it is soup. Something is soup.

Yeah it's thick soup. Chappino I don't like it. I'm not a fish guy so well I am a fish I am I am the fish man. You're the shape of water.

Oh god yeah so where are you putting Chappino then? A two. Yeah okay. I can't even eat it but I like know love it.

Chappino I love to say it though dude. Yeah it is a great one. I also I think that there's a big I think there's a big will do with Chappino culture where it's like that's the that's the it's like an event a little bit at least like the way that I've experienced it like my my dad you know it's like oh it's great they're gonna do a Chappino. I'm like fucking do a Chappino what are you fucking Sicily what are you talking like that.

That's what that's chili dude chili chili is like like so close to not being liquid brother. If there's way more solid than liquid in a chili. What about like burger chili that's a sauce. Burger chili to me is a sauce and honestly it's a well well extreme extreme bias my like childhood favorite burger and still to this day my favorite burger is the chili burger from this place called carnies so I know dude I've had the carnies chili burger it's burger chili if I like it.

Yeah I it's gotta be a two. I can't allow it. I can't allow it. And now.

Okay wait a minute wait a minute. If burger and chili counts. Because I think we're getting so close to solids. Is does sloppy Joe's count.

It's chili dude sloppy Joe's is chili. I don't know is it. Yeah it's chili with ground beef in it. Sloppy Joe is the sandwich consisting of ground beef onions tomato sauce or ketchup.

Sloppy Joe's are so fucking good. Do you want to know a story about one time me and Schmagman went into this restaurant that was called sloppy Joe's and we said don't even bring us the menus we already know what we want. And they said we don't have sloppy Joe's here. What?

What if I said what if I told you what if I told you what if I told you. Alright I want you to know what if Joe is a curry. I think that's exactly what I was gonna say. Stop making curry dude sloppy Joe is curry because like with curry it's focused on the sauce and the things inside.

Oh man yes yes yes and a lot of times curry doesn't won't curry sometimes have a tomato base. Oh huh maybe some onion. Yes. Perhaps a little.

What if famously they don't do a lot of it. What if you told people hey come over this weekend we're making American curry. You fucking slobbing Joe dude. Or someone's like hey we're having a curry potluck everyone brings their favorite curries and I fucking bust down the door and I'm like sloppy Joe's for everybody.

Sloppy waboo at your service dude. Sloppy J. I love a sloppy J. I mean I think you should put it in three but.

Wow I just think they're such very it's brother huh. Yeah I mean it's true. Have you ever had it not good though. Like in your life has only had homemade and it's ripped.

Yeah dude they used to I feel like we would get them at the in the cafeteria elementary school. I would I harped them down because I was a little chunky monkey fifth grader but like they're eight and away they were good. I don't have a lot of sloppy Joe memories. I'll give it a three if for nothing else than we've really unlocked.

Loppy Joe is curry. You heard everyone knows it. This is going to be on the on the tick tock and it's going to blow up. No one that it's airtight.

No one can argue. Everyone already knows we're just saying what everyone's too afraid to say. I can't believe curry and a very like a like an emphatically with a bullet not American thing. The first thing we list is sloppy Joe.

Got to be got to be a little racist feels a little racist honestly. I mean we just because we were allowed to do curry I got some three curries for you. It's basic as fuck but like I love butter chicken dude. Chicken makni love that shit.

I don't think I've had a lot of Indian curries that I didn't like. I love a corn makni. I love a vindaloo. I love all dude but I do love me some butter chicken.

I do love Japanese curry. You ever fuck with a Japanese curry? No I have but not a ton. If you're going to keep naming shit like vindaloo and expecting me to spell it you had another thing coming.

Thai curries. I mean just like fuck I can't think of a curry I don't like to be honest. Well okay as a two I would like to generalize coconut curry because sometimes it's a little too. Yeah I'm yeah we're spoiled boys though and like we've we live in we're from California where all the curries are good.

Right correct but like I will say that like a lot of the Caribbean food in New York there's like a coconut curry situation. Oh sure curry go curry go curry go curry go curry go to the three so good dips. Let's fucking do it dude dip in. Humus is it too I think because like it's amazing I do like it a lot but let me rephrase it's amazing sometimes.

Interesting and I feel like on an average run in the middle of humus is pretty good. I like it some places make amazing humus that I go back for shout out many kebab restaurant Los Angeles. I don't know like a store bought humus like you're freak your whole bean for like a store. I'll inhale it right I'll sit there and stand over to the kitchen counter like a big monster and just keep keeping my triskies into it because I have no self control.

What's your go to? You sabra blade. I like a sabra you know we mix it up a lot because we get our groceries in different spots so sometimes it's the teaj brand which is fine not good yeah sabra I can't sprouts plastic guy you a roasted red pepper you a roasted garlic. I like both of those roasted pepper roasted garlic and then I have every once in a while we'll get like a jalapeno one like a spicy one.

It's fine it does it's really not like it's not the spirit of humus to me. It's really not teach teach does have a my favorite of their humus is the cilantro jalapeno. Yes that one is good yeah so I agree with you the humus I think humus a little bit like I feel a little bit like pizza. I haven't met a humus that I like hated but oh I met a humus I hated in the city that I live in.

It's like humus but they added like a cup of water into it. What do you think about that? I would say no good on that one right that was gonna be no good to me. Can we just stay in the Mediterranean real quick?

Where can we get lobna on there baby? Where we put lobna? Yeah fuck me that's a three up like a lot a lot it's funny because the Mediterranean Middle Eastern dip game is gotta be the top of the game if anybody. You gotta turn but I do think that humus might be sort of the weak link in a lot of them like I love a baba dude fucking on the baba duck over here.

Yeah he is. I love like a muhamara I love like all them goodies. Oh I don't we are gonna depart there I hate an eggplant dip. I hate an eggplant dip I cannot stand the flavor of eggplant.

That's what baba ganush is. Yeah and I don't I don't love it. Oh yeah I do love a smoky smokey eggplant situation. I mean I'll leave it garlic spread like from like the classic Middle Eastern garlic spread.

Fuck. The TJ garlic spread gang if you're not aware is the best tasting thing that exists in a grocery store for you to purchase. Wow. I cannot recommend this product highly enough.

Okay now it's not difficult for me not to eat a container a week. I got the dip wheel spinning now. Yeah this this is tough right because here's the thing this fucking category this episode is liquid foods humus is decidedly not liquid. Would you say that's true we should ditch it and I will say like a seven layer dip.

That's not right and then it's not liquid garlic spread not liquid. It's not that right it's also three to me and we could we could toss hot sauce as a three as well. Yeah for sure. Are we saying that baba ganush and garlic spread are both liquid or should I mix those as well.

Fuck. It's also not really liquid but liquid in it. I think salsa count I mean salsa is basically soup and we can get into that a different day but. Oh boy I'm talking about what about what about queso.

queso's a two to me how do we feel about that. Yeah yeah it's it the ceiling is a three but it's usually not the ceiling. It's also okay so I'm going to throw all cheese dip in here right any of your your cheese etc. The thing is even when it's really good I just I hit a wall with my dips I love to just like to absolutely.

Man dude slam down. Go bananas on them and I just can't do that with queso dude I'll go to a coma. Then if salsa's counts then I want to do like like a charazzi like an Israeli salad little tomato cucumber situation that's exactly the same that's a three for me. Okay okay okay.

You're putting that in here are you. Oh yeah. The old tomato. I have a bad question for you.

Okay what is condiments dude are we talking about condiments. Oh fuck dude. We didn't think about condiments. It's it has to be unfortunately it must be I mean that is like those are liquid enough right.

I'll drop my wabu bomb that one that everyone loses their fucking mind about. I don't like ketchup I hate it. Okay but ketchup is okay here's what I'll say I'll actually argue that ketchup is a two because Heinz 57 is the only good ketchup. Believe me if you were going to tell me you're going to write me an email you're going to say at at jessys email.email.email.email and you're going to say no no no no there's this place it's so good I grew up near and they make a curry ketchup wrong it's bad.

Oh my mother she makes the best. Oh I'm sorry is she Heinz does she use all 57 ingredients if not your mom's ketchup sucks. The curry ketchup sucks. I'm like when I like someone's like we made a house make ketchup you'll love it like a spicy ketchup and I taste it and it's you know what I like it because it doesn't taste like ketchup it tastes like marinara sauce.

Yeah which is I do love marinara sauce obviously that's a that's a three as far as I'm concerned. Oh yeah marinara sauce isn't great or what about marinara to arabiata three. I just want to get all fancy with these fucking words. I'll fucking type it type it you bitch.

It's just a spicy marinara and so yeah catch up eat my shit I also think mayo can go fuck itself but I'm in the minority. No mayo unfortunately is it three I gotta tell you. A three dude. I just put liquid in the category.

Sweet. A three because mayo can be a bit honky like that I'll give you my big honky and you know that Wabu love the Hidden Valley we are we talked about it. Yeah and well I'm not even gonna say big honky you don't like kupie mayo. I love kupie mayo.

Of course you do. Of course you do. You don't like tuna salad? I do.

I don't like mayo. I don't like the taste of mayo by itself but I appreciate that many things need it and unfortunately I have a big love affair with tomato and I know amount of denial and me can say that tomato and mayo aren't a great combination. Yeah it's a parrot's match made in heaven. I'll give you ranches of two and I won't I don't think I can budge off of that.

Do you want to argue for three? Yeah dude I'll put it on everything we're talked about it. All the clip. I love it.

This fucking guy. But like it's not you have to understand ranch I do agree is it too. Hidden Valley ranch for me is a three. That's crazy.

That's a heck tour. That's crazy. It's just mayo. Homemade ranch is so much better to me but you know what are we going to do.

Too much deal in homemade ranch dude. You're already a fucking man. You're such a little dealer. I can't now that's not next to me.

I'm so I'm so lost when it comes to dips. Yeah I know but mustard is a three obviously the most diverse con in that we don't need to tell you about that mustard the opposite of catch up give me all of them every which one you got I'll take it homemade give it to me. Yeah I don't know which one you're bottom mustard because it's just plain yellow to me and I think that's I guess it's plain yellow. I still I'll tell take it if it's there I'm going to use it.

Exactly like it and I don't my plain yellow sometimes is my preferred if I'm not going to be like a spicy sausage burger don't don't give me anything else besides plain yellow. Right that's exactly right okay man we should just knock out every condiment right like let's just get this fucker. Yeah yeah hot sauce hot sauce goes here not wherever it was curried. It was a dip classic dip.

Hot sauce is a three. barbecue sauce is a two to me. Oh dude oh no what about dressings? No that's a condiment too and we'll lump it all in because you already said and runch is a dressing.

Yeah yeah yeah and like Italian or whatever. Yeah yeah yeah yeah okay cats up oh like special sauce. Honestly I want to say one it's not true but like it makes me. I just lost slash Russian dressing.

No because some things need it. Some things you can't do without. It's good I just hate that they call it secret sauce because it's not secret but you know. I love it obviously because I'm a J.

Can I tell you what what they what they fluck around with in Utah do there's like a special sauce at Utah yeah it's special sauce first of all just the Russian dressing it's um it's like mayo ketchup and then like some combination of like paprika or like a cayenne for a little spice and then they put a little pickle brine in it a lot of times. Oh to make it a little zesty it's not bad but they keep the shit on tap in Utah they call it fry sauce and it's just everywhere they call it fry sauce. I like the pickle brine that's a guy Fieri does that for his special sauce at chicken guy which one highly educated man called the single best sauce of his 22 sauce lineup. Well there you have it.

Oh dude honey honey is a condiment. I think so I think so. I love honey a spicy honey any kind of honey. Give it to me all.

Okay. Let's do fucking. Oh my god the condiment is so tedious. I know okay wait just quick quick quick quick quick some of the Asian ones like Ponzu sauce for me is a three I could drink it.

Yeah soy sauce I think is a two a little salty for my taste. How about though have you do you fuck when they have the low sodium soy sauce on the table. I'm sure you go for that it tastes exactly the same it's remarkable. Yeah that's why it's like let's make an even lower one dude it's too salty.

Yeah dare dare to be great dude. Crank it down. We can do this. How about a zero salt soy sauce.

What about like a Thai chili sauce. Love that like a sweet. Thai chili is a. Dude I love sauces.

They're so sick dude they're so fucking sick. What do you dip in your chicken nugs into. I like I love a honey must that's my probably my Fieri. I'm not gonna put it anywhere because it's already three.

It's not I already thought about that. There's no way it's it's thicker than hummus a lot of times there's no way you're right. Come on come on all right I got it. Is mola is definitely a sauce and that is a two to me.

We're gonna get arrested by the white people police. We there's. As much as we talk about it we sure don't have a fucking clue what curry is huh. No it's what sloppy Joe's a mola.

We got a big bowl of fucking horseradish dipping sauce. Jesus Christ. Frosty sauce from RVs so. Fucking three.

That's actually a dip I would say. I would say it had sauce right in the name. Well condiment dip is kind of all similar and and a chip. I'm very sorry that company makes those bad things but that fucking chip.

And you can get you can get the one from. How did I fuck this from teach that goddamn name do chick. Hey the letter a yeah. Jeez what's so.

I know it's so funny. Arby sauces of three for me as far as dips go. What about gravy we didn't talk about gravy. It's the title of a whole fucking well we haven't talked about gravy or sauces a ton to be honest.

I let's talk sauce brown gravy to me. I've honestly put it a one dude. I don't fucking care for brown gravy. Yeah I kind of agree.

Like I mean I do I want it on my taters my mashed taters. Yeah like if it's there I'm gonna pour it on my would you pass it up you have mashed potatoes. I think you're going to go. I'm a gravy dish.

It's that's no way. No. I'm not fine. It's a two.

What I'm mad about that. I don't mad about it too but you're gonna do it. I am. It is good on the it's just like man I don't know but country gravy that like a white sausage gravy can be that's a very I cannot be denied the power of a country gravy.

Sauce is like a very wide category because every cool restaurant every dish is served with a sauce that's been created for the dish. We just got to go the classics. We can't get in the classics. Is what we're doing.

Yeah I got a three. Okay. Pesto. Yeah for sure.

And pesto is like is this well fuck dude is that liquid. No there's no liquid in it. There's olive oil. Yeah yeah yeah it's mostly olive oil and fucking like basil and pine nuts.

So yeah I think it's olive oil. Liquid dude. Oh where's it go on here. Maybe a con.

Is it a condiment? Is olive oil like dude olive oil is a curry. We're gonna get cancelled. I think olive oil and vinegar are both three condiments.

Yeah I'm into that. I love all the types of vinegar. I love when a joint got a little bit of that vinegar on the table to put in my french cries. I love that shit.

Dude Alfredo. I know you love that sloppy Alfredo. I hate it. I hate it.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

God look. It's served with ram, ayos to spoon. That's so gross. I think Alfredo is a three we don't have a lot of threes in this in it but no you mean one.

Alfredo is definitely one. I hate Alfredo, what about like cooler chicken so I'm going to get us into a heap of trouble here. Yeah I'm like a chocolate lava cake. I don't like that.

I think it's a two. Yeah, it's a one for me, but you don't like it at all, huh? No, like a banana split or like a Sunday. I don't like that shit.

I would like never, I would never buy like Hershey's syrup or like caramel syrup. Yeah, but what about like a, you're at a restaurant and they put like a chocolate syrup on top of like a, or like a caramel syrup on top of like a, I know you mean a, a big sweet's man, but like a caramel syrup on top of like an apricot cake or some shit like that. Yeah, that's, yeah. I guess like a sweet sauce at a restaurant is pretty good.

Like, like a Hershey's. That's nasty. I'm going to say dessert sauce isn't too. Is rice pudding a liquid?

Oh my God. Dude, like tapioca dude. I hate tapioca. Dude, if we're including like ketchup, probably you're saying it.