Listener Tales 19

Hey weirdos, I'm Elena. I'm Ash. And this is a listener tales episode. Oh, an inner tales.

Yeah. It's actually a special Halloween edition. Skirks, skirks, skirks, skirks, skirks, skirks. That one was fine.

So welcome. Don't do it. Scary, spooky skeleton version of listener tales. You're welcome.

You're welcome. And you know what? This is our October listener tales, so you won't get another one of these till November. Oh, so sad for you.

So sad for you. So sad for you, buddy. But we figured we'd get this Halloween right in the beginning of the month, and we have something special for you this week. You know what it is?

Why? Because we love you so much. I love you. We just love you so much.

And it's spooky season. It's spooky. I'm going to do an episode that is all about Santa. I can't say that.

I'm pretty sure it's Sowin, which we all know as Sam Hain or Halloween. I'm going to talk about the way you pronounce it as Sowin. Oh. Even though it looks like Sam Hain.

You were like, we all know. Sowin. We all know. I'm going to talk about the origins of Halloween in an episode for next week.

We're going to totally into it, talk all about it. And guess what? Yeah, guess what? What?

You're getting three episodes next week. One's going to be ad-free. Guys, I feel like listener tales now are just for when we're feeling like way too silly to do like a real episode because that'd be fucked up. Yeah.

We are feeling wicked punchy. So we decided listener tales is where we got to go with what we feel. We're feeling this today. It's just the artistry of the job.

It is. It's art. And we got to go with the art tells us to go. And so you're getting an ad-free episode next week for no fucking reason except that we love you.

And we want you to have it. And it was a joy to research about Sowin, Sam Hain. So I just figure here you go. Yeah.

You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it.

Soics duck-around, so thank you for that. So take a look for that. And also your other two episodes next week, so... Mix week is about to get so fucking wild.

October is fucking bananas. And then this is who we just sounded like fucking from Big Mouth the Horn Black Wards- According to myoring speakers. Next week is about to be wild. So wild.

I called this 180. Are the Han-Shetto? I'm not welcome to this episode. So Imagine listening right now is what the fuck was that?

Yeah. Who is that? Are you okay? Any answers in that box?

No, the answer is no answer, right now is no. No, the answer is no. The answer is I'm not because there's a burp stuck inside my... My mouth's too, right now.

come out maybe it will maybe you guys will coax it out all right so let's start this off let's start it off with Listen or tail a Halloween ghost an intruder a sleep walk an aunt okay who starts to say who's to say hi a weirdos I'm gonna start with the obligatory rant on how much I love you guys in your podcast you know what love you I'll Keep my gushing short. Thank you. My name is Ang. Yep.

You can use it. Thanks Ang and I've been a listener since the beginning And I've yet to find a podcast that is amazing as yours. Wow. Thank you I've tried to find others to listen to while I'm all cut up on yours But nothing quite fits the bill.

You're great at what you do and I truly appreciate all the effort you put in each episode I've gotten multiple of my weirdo friends to start listening and they're just as obsessed That's very nice of you. Thank you and thanks Ang for Ganch. Anywho. Here's my story for you a couple years ago I was living at my parents house while my fiance and I were saving up to buy our house My aunt who is diagnosed with a disease that affects and she wrote affects and then she wrote effects who knows the difference?

You know, that's my biggest like issue in life Affects is like a verb and effects is like a noun. Yeah, usually everyone just turns this off So thanks a lot. I'm just trying to teach you don't I'm just trying to just fucking help you out. Well either way My aunt was diagnosed with a disease that affects her nervous system was also living there since she can no longer live on her own That's really sad.

This is slightly older house where you can hear well pretty much everything same My mom's best friend lives across the street and my mom would babys sometimes babysit her dogs when her friend would go on vacation So one Halloween because do we have to do that every time Halloween Halloween Halloween Because it's a Halloween episode I had my fiance come over for the night to watch spooky movies with me after handing candy out to the neighborhood Street youths When the night was coming to a close my mom walked across the street to friends house to stay to stay the night So the pups wouldn't be alone my fiance and I eventually end up going to sleep and I get woken up in the middle of the night to him Getting out of a tiny ass full at full bed not thinking of it I roll over and try to fall back to sleep he returns to the bed lays down then gets up again about two minutes later I hear him open the door to my room and close it again But doesn't leave the room and I hear him moving shit around inside the room now. I'm getting grumpy to fuck you Do it man. It's 3 a.m. I'm gonna bitch need some sleep I get so grumpy if woken up poor Annie poor Annie indeed I get real pissed he gets into the bed and doesn't say anything in my sleepy state I don't think to ask questions just grateful that he's quiet and back in bed finally so I can sleep then he rolls over Whisper's really quietly to me There's someone in the house Whisper is Well, well 10 out of 10 would agree that nothing wakes your ass up more than those five words.

I roll over and just spit out, huh? Honestly, what else do you say to that? I don't know there's someone in the house. They are standing against the oh fuck that There's someone in the house.

They are standing against the wall in the corner of the living room facing the wall Oh fuck no, I'm sorry. There's a fucking person facing the wall not moving. I'm gonna need to go home now Yeah, and he says I'm sure of it I went to the bathroom and saw that I thought I saw something but came back to bed I chalked it up to be a plant but I had to check I stuck my head out again and there's a motherfucking person in the living room Oh my god, wait when you said there's a motherfucking person in the living room I was following along but reading really fast and I thought it said there's a motherfucking person in the living room Which put that would make sense He's just kissing on the wall. Maybe that's what's maybe this is a spoiler.

No, then he says oh no He didn't really just said that I'm sorry. Nope. So he says he is not one to panic over anything at all ever Now my heart is racing well It's 3 a.m. On Halloween if any ghosts were to come out it is 100% at this exact moment My actual response was let's turn the light on apparently I needed to start listening to true crime podcast sooner He basically was like no dumb dumb.

That's a horrible idea But like kinder because he's a swell person a swell person then he says take my knife and just hold on to it It's pitch ass black in this room, and you want to hand me a knife sure okay? I could possibly go wrong I feel like I resonate right to state the obvious here the knife cut me in the process of him Handing to me So so in the dark we laid in the bed barely breathing I was clutching this stupid 3 inch knife and honestly had no idea what the heck He was holding we were listening for any and every noise that was happening in the house It was terrifyingly quiet finally. He said I can't take it I'm going to turn the lights on in the hallway and go out there You stay in the room with the knife take your phone out and have 911 up in case you have to call I was too scared to disagree he ran out of the room turned all the lights on and nothing no plant no person no demon No sleep walking on we ended up a grudgingly going back to bed, but not before checking the front door That's when we found it unlocked no Especially on fucking Halloween Halloween of all nights Halloween Lock your doors no idea what it was but I went hundred percent believe that we that he saw something I slept with a bat next to my Bed until I moved out after that thanks for taking the time to read my story ladies I seriously love your podcast and I'm thankful to have found it you make even the shitty estate is a little less shitty keep it weird and Shit and I am glad that you are alive saying you and your fiance feel safe feel safe feels like I like that He just I also loved the drama that he infused into that that he just leaned over and was like Yeah, if any did that to me, I'd be like fuck off if John did that to me I'd be like you shut the fuck up right now. You know what?

Who the fuck says that the fuck are you bitch? She's whisper that shit into my face I Was right in your ear Halloween Do it do it do it do it do it We just came back from a break so this makes no sense. Okay, so this one that I decided to pick while the audio was paused It's called I don't know what's wrong with us. Yeah, there's a lot going on.

Sorry. I'm gonna come down It's also already house guest hi ladies. I was ghost. Yep.

Yep. It's a lot more sinister Sure, I don't know what it is about listener tales that makes me you just forget to read yeah Oh, so hi ladies I started listening to your podcast a couple months ago, and I'm obsessed It's nice to know well there is a whole community of fellow weird as hell more but people out here sure is I know it is right Anyways, I have a listener tale for you and as you can guess from the subject. It's about a real life So we're already house ghost ghost not guest. I hope this isn't too long You can shorten it if you need never I graduated from college in 2016 So I've been away from the house for a bit, but I'm pretty sure our sorority rents it So who knows maybe some more spooky sweet listener tales to come from future haunted generations Oh, that's nice for us.

I lived in a sorority house with 12 other girls and we were all weird as shit hell Yeah, that's amazing right so it was a fucking blast she said freaking But I made it our rated I decided that I'd change it it was a three-story house plus a basement with nine rooms That was built in 1900 definitely haunted as well for sure So, you know some people are sure to have died up in there a picture for your reference and actually the picture It's really pretty that's so cool. It's almost like it reminds me of like the murder house from a chest. Oh a little bit I don't see that I was like the turret and everything yeah I don't know what that means gives up a vibe Okay, there are a couple stories that stand out to me that I will share story one a bit of a backstory There were 13 girls in this house in nine rooms So you're gonna say 13 ghosts in this house and I was a great movie awesome movie up to watch on Halloween I don't even think this has Halloween in it. It does.

Yeah, October 31st right there. I see it Okay, there were 13 those girls in this house just kidding girls in nine rooms There's some of the bigger rooms had two people I was the unlucky bitch placed in one of the rooms But the rent was cheaper so when when yeah fuck a roommate though. I'll pay for not having one anyway The point is I had a roommate like I just said fuck that we lived off the second floor I should also talk about the basement you should which was more like a dungeon love it It was unfinished full of cobwebs smelled like that old musty couple that church. Okay, it sounds like my basement It does be quite honest It just sounds like any unfinished basement and literally have this random ass rocking chair right in the middle of it Oh, just like yours.

Yeah, just like my basement. Yeah, which was apparently there when we got the house question mark There were many little room caves in this basement and one had a creepy old looking wood stove thing I don't know. I never got too close. That's good for you.

I'm not a son recommend anyway to sir I was gonna say to surmise to surmise to summarize the basement was creepy I should know when everyone down there at least not alone and it looked like a It locked with a deadbolt from the upstairs seems sus right so we always kept it locked my room He woke me up super fucking early on Halloween Halloween one year 2013 question mark I am talking the devil's hour fucking 3 a.m. On October 31st That's no good. Which is you have to say the same she's freaking out and she says she hears a banging noise sure shit There's this very slow and drug out knocking sound it's like every 15 to 20 seconds or so after 10 minutes of this nonstop annoyance We decided to be those dumb girls in every scary movie ever made and make our way downstairs to investigate No, no there We were greeted by another girl who lived on the first floor who also heard this sound we couldn't tell where it was coming from So we looked at the people on the front door and there was nobody there But still the knocking continued we checked the back door nothing We checked the creepy random extra staircase in the back of the house nothing everybody else was sound asleep in their rooms So the doors closed we looked around for a while more and what do we find the creepy ass basement deadbolt fucking door is wide Fucking open you nope the fuck out of there right now get out immediately and Alina the basement lights are on no No, I'm out. No, it's like that sponge Bob mean that John John loves I don't know Mind you the lights are those annoying post strings that hang from the ceiling So it's not like somebody accidentally flipped the wrong switch We were too scared to go down there good So we pulled that door shut faster than a mowfucker and looked and locked that bad boy up the knocking sounds stopped after that needless To say we didn't sleep the rest of that morning and went to class rock in a scared shitless hangover look What the fuck one of our roommates decided to head to the campus library to see if she could find anything about the house All she could find was that it was built in 1900 by a guy with the last name Shackleford, I know anti clay Mac Dick, but this comes into play in the next story.

Oh, it's very I am loving this narrative that she's spinning me Not only is it a narrative Alina is a fucking trilogy. It's cohesive as fucking I love it. You should be an awful you should Story number two. This is a three-story house.

So lots of stairs are involved here I might be sass would be right out of it also the stairs are all hardwood making them slippery as shit Oh, and they're ancient so they're also steep as shit Yeah, you're painting a really undesirable picture truly are except I love it and I want to live there Nope, I was known for falling down the stairs and embarrassing amount cuz I'm coordinated I'm as coordinated as a newborn giraffe. That's adorable I also always wore fuzzy socks around the house, which is also adorable. It happens to me all the time That's how you broke your table. That's how I broke my butt.

Yep. That's how broke my booty, which didn't help my case or leanest No one time it was different one time. I was pushed. Oh, what was it an angry house mate?

Was it on Halloween? I swear on all of the seasons of the office DVDs that I felt that's a good swear What that's a good swear? Oh, well, there's on all the seasons of the office DVDs I mean she's telling the mother fucking truth. She's where on it nothing but the truth.

I just said she swear on it She's where I want it So she swore on that I felt some asshole push me down the fucking stairs I clinkity clinked my ass all the way down the stairs I would have broken at least a couple and laid at the bottom for a while crying because well fucking hurt particularly my right box cheek I eventually crawled out of my bed and one of my precious beagel angel baby roommates brought me an ice pack for my booty cheek Oh my god, she's a butt cheek, but I felt like a booty cheek I said I said but cushion for several bits of time and eventually got back up to check out the damage in the mirror I had a giant ass bruise literally And it was in the shape of s s for shackle for coincidence I think not that rat bastard pushed me down the stairs and I'll go to my grave believing it Holy I've also attached a picture of said bruised right butt cheek for your viewing pleasure because why not send some gals? I've never met a picture of my bear ask I love you so much and also that's an S bruise That is an S bruise so that what I want to know is a shackle for just walking around his old ass property with like some little thing That's like in the shape of an S if he just rams it into your body Ouch, I don't like it. It's like a brand That's what I was thinking it's like a brand but it's not a shackle for girl now only for a week or two All right, I'll shackle for trilogy time story number three This one is in my opinion the scariest whoo Again, I'm sleeping in a bigger room with a roommate and she has told me several times that I've been talking in my sleep I'm already out of there. Yeah, I'm guilty of that all the time.

Yeah, you say some fucked up shit sure do I've never been told this story before so I wanted to know WT actual F. I was saying I She didn't say sorry. She said she'd never been told this before so she wanted to know WT actual F She was okay. I caught myself up I downloaded this app that claimed to record sleep talk basically you turn it on when you go to bed and it only records When it is picked up sound for more than 10 seconds or so in the morning Oh, I can already see this going to a dark place.

Yeah, I'm actually really scared because I was like I want that app No, I'm like no, I don't want to share mine real quick in the morning You could review the clips that it captured I did this for a few weeks and there were always between 10 to 20 clips to go through damn Wow, I feel like I would be in that too. Oh, you'd have more most of them are just white noise of things that I can only assume We're like old house sounds I caught a few of the memorable what memorable ones of me saying things like Those green beans. I need pancakes or mooing like a damn cow I'm definitely a fat ass in my dreams. I'm a fat ass in my dreams I'm like that's okay, but one morning there was a clip that was the last clip I ever recorded or listened to it scared The shit out of me so I deleted the app and vowed never to listen to that shit again now.

I'm wishing I would have saved that clip But it's probably best I didn't it was just whispers at first I still don't know if it was me or Shackleforth I was doing whispering But these whispers literally turned into some freaky ass Latin witchcraft What the fuck the whispers progressively got faster and louder and sounded like they were speaking Oh, no, I literally have chills. I do too. I just I curled myself into a ball I'm getting body chills typing this I'm getting body chills reading this because it was it freaked me out so much It was literally the voice as you hear possessed people using and scary movies I hate it I hate it what freaked me out the most is that again? I have no idea if it was me talking like this or someone else have I been possessed at some point in my life I sure as hell with my fucking copenot.

What if I do this in my sleep every night and I have no idea life is full of mystery What a way to look at I love that she answered that I just like life is full of history It's such a great that's such a great outlook on possible possession. I love it I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed all my spooky so already how stories keep it weird free It's just a picture of the S shaped booty brews in the home. You are your legend a legend You're a legend and I love that you looked at possibly being possessed by a diamond as life is full of mysteries I love that.

What is she what's she re-out look at? You got to do that you do okay? So my next one is listen or tale my mom doesn't think her house is haunted. Here's a few reasons why she's wrong incredible I love it.

I love that for you. Hey ladies. My mom and I are big fans of the show. Well both shows now Yay, I'm gonna skip the small talk good for you, man because I'm high and watching Hey Arnold.

Oh, that's what I'm doing tonight. It's amazing. That's exactly what I'm doing. Hopefully it makes sense I'm sure I'll read it a hundred times and get anxious make panic edits and come across this weird LOL, let's hope not feel free to condense.

I'm obsessed already I love you already my mother and I moved into her car at home when I was 16 about 16 years ago It was over Halloween weekend Halloween Halloween Sorry, I've spent by it, but I did it again It was over Halloween weekend so cars were watching go shows and the scariest places on earth Oh, I love that show. Oh, I can hear the old lady voice. She just said her voice still gives me nightmares LOL Although I loved Jean Witch same is not the one girl. That's the one where they wrap in the middle That is the one where they wrap in the middle.

Oh, yeah, you showed me that that shit. Oh, thank you Thank you for bringing me there. I appreciate thank you so much for bringing me there I love you my mom loves true crime and go shows, but she hates scary movies and being scared. That's weird If something happens in the house, she'll ignore the fuck out of it.

That's weird. I have the other hand eat sleep and shit spooky Same. Yes, my favorite movie as a tiny kid was chucky My last name is even spooky LOL. It's at this point at the story that I'm sure my mom has realized this is about her house And it's now skipping to the next story.

Hi, mom Hi, mom. Hi, mom. So our first weekend there was typical for a new house You know like weird sounds and shadows basically new house shit. I'd be in my room here My mom called my name I'd go to look for her but she wouldn't be home I would hear doors open and close but no one would be in the house, but you know whatever Yeah, good good as we settled so did the spooky shit There were a few times where we would pick up a phone and get the dial tone nose noise in my air fuck landlines fuck dial up and fuck me For being sold same, but no one would be home and the internet was not on but whatever right a lot of internet was not on I just want to say that again cuz you know was not on you know a few people out there listening like what do you mean the internet was not on Your wife did you deal with like the dial up did I yeah?

Only one deal for that with you. Yeah, okay, so yeah, I was gonna say you didn't have to like man You everybody is listening right now who dealt with the dial up. Yeah can remember your specific computer room That your computer room with you mine was across the hall from my parents house No, it was just my parents house my parents room It was in your parents house and you would get in that room after the time that you were supposed to be off that fucking computer Oh, I had a time that they were not supposed to be on the internet Yes, and you would sneak your ass in there yep You would shut that door you would shove some towels under the bottom of that door Yeah, and then you would turn on that fucking crazy sound sounds And the whole time you would just be sitting there being like just gonna just gonna just gonna just It was the noise used to scare me when I was little and it would finally you hear that being Noise that you connected and then your parents would come in and be like I heard that whole fucking thing you idiot You've been screeching from beyond and you're like damn it. There's a whole thing you fucking saw I feel that a lot Back to the story so yeah, fuck me for being sold But no one would be home in the internet was not on but whatever right a lot of but whatever stuff happened But there were a few things my mom's house is an open floor plan I was in the living room taking apart I was in the living room part talking to my stepdad who was in the computer room the kitchen is in between us on the kitchen counter Lay the cookie sheet as he's speaking to me I watched this cookie sheet go sailing across the kitchen hit the wall and fall it didn't fall off the counter and bounce It was basically flung I went to tell my mom and she did not want to hear it lol She turned the volume on the TV super loud.

I can't screech out sack back in this one When you get scratched by fucking demon bro Now there's a tall way off of the kitchen by the computer room leads to the mudroom in the basement We use the mudroom door as the main door my mom was chopping things for dinner and my step brother And I were standing in the opening to this hallway talking to her My mom was in mid sentence when my step brother and I both heard our little brother say hi to our dog We both turned the door looked at each other and back at the door step rose like you heard that right him saying hi, right? He nods and adds to the dog my mom's face was pale and confused we explained what happened We both heard our little brother say hi Shiba my mom's was like nope. He doesn't get off the bus for 15 minutes I don't believe you guys blah blah, but we both swear it happened Oh, that's so spooky my step brother lived with us his room was the basement my room used to be a porch And she did like the eye up like a little eye roll I roll I roll I up the eye up the eye up emoji up your eyes at me tear up your eyes at me Damn So her room used to be the porch that the previous owners converted to a room that's cool. That's fine.

That reminds me the simple life Okay, so the second my step brother moved in with some friends my best friend and I jumped on the basement We cleaned that bitch up shoveled up all the garbage collected all the cans and bottles We wore hazmat suits because my step brother and his friends were gross ass boys LOL when we finally got the basement habitable enough for humans We brought a bed in some boxes down there 2 a.m. We hear a pop bottle fall that distinct plastic hitting concrete sound We turned on the lights, but there's nothing on the ground We returned all the cans and bottles the previous day next night my friend is over again We're getting ready for bed 3 a.m. My CD radio alarm clock just starts blaring Oh, that would fuck me up we jump awake and I lunge at the noise as she turns on the light the kicker It's not plugged in. Oh, it didn't even have batteries I had to plug that plug that bitch in and unplug it for it to stop.

We didn't sleep downstairs that night No, she's like, you know what we didn't sleep downstairs on it Yeah, not long after I moved I ended up moving out my step brother moved back in and took the basement So when I moved back I got my porch room I wasn't mad and now we're both moved out my mom and now that we're both moved out my mom doesn't use the basement flash To the past February I had stopped by her house to see her We were sitting in the dining room when we both heard something fall over in the basement then we heard something running no But we didn't hear it run up the stairs and we didn't hear any doors open or close neither one of us went to investigate We stayed seated you good on you those are my little tails Although they might be not be super spooky a few things were thanks Thanks for taking the time to read it mom if you made it through this then I'll buy you lunch love you guys s coffin P.S. Sid didn't kill Nancy change my mind lol. I disagree I'm confused. Oh, I googled it But you did not know who said a Nancy were I do now I'm young guys.

This is real life. This is really wow the fact that you are reading this like shit. This is holy shit Holy shit where my fellow old no no I've heard of this before I know good. Oh good.

You've heard of this before that you need to refresh on the sit and dance Listen, I'm sorry that you remember dial up, but there's no reason you let me please Take us away from this place take me away This one is called my mom was the true ex or sis all along whoa alright I thought mine was I was gonna say hello my lovely weirdo is my name is Keeley pronounced like Keeley But with an L instead of W and yes, you can use my name. I love that name Keeley. That's cool I'm a fairly new listener and I found you through crime countdown that nothing will ever stop blowing my mind That's not really fun. It's like fun.

Like crazy. Whoa. Whoa. Thanks, which I found from our lovely park house research gods We are so blessed we are blessed.

We are blessed. They are never stressed always blessed anyway. I love you. I almost just don't I'm sorry.

Okay. Anyway, I love you both so much I heard your first episode of crime countdown and fell in love with how you tell stories and aren't afraid to put your personalities into the Episode. Oh, thanks. Thank you.

They told us to do that later after the first episode I found more but then have been diving into the deep end of our collective I'm like a yeah, I read that you're diving into the deep end of our collective need for strange on a daily basis ever since I'm sure you both appreciated that sentence. I really did I wish I had read it better But I do appreciate it. I read it in my head. So it was cool.

Yeah, when I got to the most recent listener tales I knew I had to share my story of how my mother nearly gave me a heart attack at 14 because she thought she was so Funny spoiler alert 16 years later. It still isn't no way it is spoiler alert 16 years later. It is funny, but I'm still not at her about it So don't tell her picture it how well we like You were like you were like reading a two-hour paper bag David That's who I felt like watch that okay, it's Halloween 2014 middle of nowhere Illinois I just said that to me. Hey Illinois and not like Chicago or any well populated area This is like well, we didn't get a stop.

We didn't get a stoplight in town until 2010 Anyway, I digress my mom and I have always been huge or a movie fans my dad doesn't get it whenever a new movie becomes out We're all over it. Well this particular how well mean I feel like there's a me long here I decided to stay home and watch an oldie, but good knee a good knee with An oldie with goody with Ma and pops the extra cyst. I love your family. I do too This is like gold to my mother's dismay I hadn't watched it and it's entirety to this point because there were so many decent horror movies at the time Why bother with the old ones and I was right while the story was compelling the effects ruined my immersion my immersion Said in the tone of a sniffly nerd pushing my glasses up my nose by the bridge my immersion Anyway after the movie I expressed my mild displeasure of the data effects mother Apparently did not like my high quality movie critique judgment of a film that once terrified her She asked me to go feed the dog since it was past dinner at this point I went to my room got a sweatshirt that went outside to feed Polly our German Shepherd mix that I named after Polly pockets Oh my god.

Oh, yes, and then she wrote to y'all member of poly motherfucking yes ash might not but I'm sure I know Yes, okay, um sister I do remember poly pockets and I had the fucking little Like the whole fucking outdoor pool set where I had a damn slide. That's right I remember poly pockets about to fight this girl. She's like, I love you. I'm kidding anyway I digress me too.

I had left a light on my room in my room So I thought nothing of it when I came back inside and went to my well-lit bedroom What I wasn't expecting was the giant fucking clown doll like the one in the movie to be sitting in my bed staring straight at me What the fuck your mom's incredible She's a legend now before you think my mother is some clever mastermind who thought of this way a too far in advance The doll was some kind of knitted monstrosity my great-aunt made for me for my baby shower back in 1990 It was my height at the time. So like five three. Holy shit. That's taller than I yeah, that's horrifying I was gonna say awful and then I started horrifying so I said awful It was truly awful.

It was awful. It was awful. It was real awful. It was stuffed.

That's awful And a huge hat and a super punchable face my mother always insisted I keep it so I had it buried at the bottom of my closet My mother and all her infinite wisdom decided I was too harsh on one of her favorite horror movies So after I went outside to feed the dog She dashed to my rim found the fucking punch clown beast and said it on my bed So when I opened the crack but when I opened the cracked door it would be looking right at me Looking right at me on my fucking horrified face. I screamed I ran I fell to the floor I started to cry I could hear my I could hear my mom in the living room You and a few years my dad came and laid with me on the floor and comforted me while I cried He said I told her not to and all I could say in response was she is such a bitch Now my dad a trucker with a farmer at heart usually didn't tolerate me Usually didn't tolerate such a language out of my 14 year old baby mouth But for some reason all the obvious reasons some reason this time he let it slide out and responded I know honey what a moment rubbing my back. What a family moment. I love your family mom is dying laughing I love you.

You're crying on the floor. I'm on the bench and dad's like I know I told her not to Now 16 years later whenever I talk about horrific pranks with friends or family it always gets brought up I love my mom to the moon and back. Oh, but I have yet to forgive her for nearly ruining our relationship over the fucking exorcist I mean, it's a great movie. I love it That's all I've got for this one ladies Thank you and as always and usual keep it weird But that's where you free the shit out of your teenage daughter got to the point of crying calling you a bad name And not and then not being forgiven for it 16 years later Bye, and then there's a follow-up email that says 5 a.m.

Freak up realizing I meant poltergeist not the exorcist Oh, thank you because this entire time I was like And then I was like there's a clown in poltergeist. That's like you leave clown in poltergeist. Thank you Keeley I didn't even see that before some real glad you sent that there's like a whole curse around the Just ample turquoise. Yeah, there is.

That'll be a fun episode. I want it to be so maybe we'll do that one I think I just had a really good idea. I'll just do that one on the show live on the air That's what I was trying to think of saying on the show live we got this so my next one I don't know how it made it into our little like folder for this episode But I don't think it has anything to do with Halloween But I'm gonna read it anyways because this one's really funny do it. Sorry I just looked like I'm not funny, but like scary and but the way they write is really funny This one's called actually thrown off the road by devil worshippers bro what I love that it just said Hey weirdos.

I love your podcast and listen to it every single day You guys are actual saints and have helped me navigate my life during the shit storm of a year currently wearing my murder apparel Merch crew neck as I'm typing this yay PSM garbage S person that hasn't taken it off in two days because it's that comfy But I digress look at that. That's fine. I wear the same thing for like three days. Yeah, we're all in this together I have one shirt that I wear all the time and every time I put it on I go out to any and I'm like look at my new shirt It's like no, right up to the stage, so I'm sorry.

This is so long But I promise you it's 100% worth it and if this ends up in an episode I might actually shit myself better change a pants I hope you shout I hope you shout Hold on to your motherfucking but no you and then you Get it cuz they're gonna shit you The listeners tell I'm going to be telling you is one of the most terrifying and scariest nights of my life Surprisingly I've quite a few of these tales as I was a reckless hormonal and angsty teenager and clearly didn't think out my actions But you'll know or whatever today's kids say right what do you think it's a and you back when I was 16 Me and my eight friends were thickest thieves we all had some pretty shitty and dark things dark things happened to us during the years of our friendship And I made us closer than family there was literally a rumor around our school that we were into a secret mafia cult ship because of how we Ride or die how ride or die we were for each other currently cringing at the use of that wording. That's what she said I love it Basically what it came down to was if one of us was in need we were there no matter what with the law for instance We all rehearsed alibis was going to fight we were all in that bitch ready to swing You know super casual high school shit, right? Jesus Lord we were heathens for this story It's really important to understand just how close we were our friendship was based on truth respect in the way of childhood and other experiences Fucked us up we didn't lie to one another and the only time we did this we and the only time we did was if and only if Everyone else agreed that it was to protect one of us. Wow as I'm typing this I'm starting to see why people thought we were in some kind of gang LM FAO.

I think you were I think you might have been I don't know if you know it, but I think you might have been but the sake of privacy I'll be changing everyone's names. I live in the suburbs about an hour away from Chicago and before you oh wow We're really getting with Chicago. I was gonna say this became Chicago Halloween Chicago Chicago That's what it's about. I love it and before you ask yes It's true.

We do have the greatest pizza in the world and no one and no you never put ketchup on a hot dog Fuck that I'm with you on that you put mustard on a hot dog you put both actually yeah, sometimes you do that I thought the way you were looking at me. I was like oh you're like oh we're gonna fight that would be insanity Anyway, the suburb that the suburb that I live in has a bunch of country back roads And yes, this is where this horrifying experience occurs. Of course it does here There's a famous house that everyone knows about it's on a road called Johnson Road And so the house is called the Johnson House Oh my god way spook what a creative name the road has literally no light posts and is a couple miles long There are other homes on the road that people live in except the Johnson House So let me go ahead and set the scene for this also famous home It had a long uphill gravel driveway surrounded by brush and trees that was super hidden from the road That's right. This spooky ass house was on top of a fucking hill.

I can't make this this shit up So when you drive up this hill you don't see the house until you're damn near or near at the front door It was old and decrepit every single window had been broken out from years of vandalism and the siding was damn near paled off So it was all just wood framing a pure country horror fixer upper for sure So one night at one a.m. Me and my four friends from our group decide to go on a late night country crews while the others were hanging out with their Boyfriends, you know drive around listen to absolute bangers like every time we touch by You knew that was happening in all the other 90s to 2000s goodies Smoked some weed and waste a fuck ton of our six dollar per gallon gas six dollars a gallon. Oh, honey You don't even know six dollars a gallon. You don't even know that happened that happened What the fuck we used to scrounge up change at the bottom of our car to pay for gas It was six dollars and we could do that and it would last us all night Wow, like we would literally look under the seats find quarters and nickels and dimes and be like cool We can get a couple gallons and boom that's nuts.

Yeah. Yeah, that's right. She also wrote. Thank you recession Yeah, she was driving her old ass car that broke down regularly and had the baldest tires I'd ever seen in my life Tori was in the passenger seat and me Claire and Bonnie were in the back We had obviously all heard stories of the super super scary house and decided it was a marvelous idea to go up there and smoke It's truly thriving Q-Face pomimochi So when we get into the road and go about a half mile down we turn down the volume of our jam session and flash the Brights to see we see the beginning of the gravel driveway and turn in we get about halfway up the driveway until we're no longer Seen by the road turn off the lights and park to be honest We really want only one there to smoke where no one else could see us and to be a little creeped out while we did so Don't ask me why the hell we thought this would be a good idea I still don't really have an answer now stupid we used to be so there were really so there we were getting ready to enjoy the devil's Let us when we see a pair of lights pop up from the top of the hill not just any lights a pair of headlights Obviously we start to panic thinking it's the police and we're about to get arrested for a tiny nugget of weed that we hadn't even got to smoke This was before this year when it came when it became illegal no legal or I'm sorry legal Jane turns her headlights back on which we were all super pissed about again We thought we were about to get arrested so obviously we didn't want to we didn't want whatever kind of car to see we were there We just wanted to dip out casually and leave so what ended up happening was way worse The headlights at the top of the hill turn off immediately followed by the turning on the cars Brights the vehicle revs its engine And it's then that we realize this isn't just a car.

It's a massive ass truck The truck starts barreling down the driveway heading straight towards our car Oh my god Jane throws the car in reverse but our goddamn tires were so bald so that they didn't pick up any traction on the gravel Somehow we finally caught traction and got the hell out of the driveway right before the truck would have hit us When we get back into the road and look behind us the giant ass fucking truck is speeding like hell to catch up to us And when it finally does it smashes into our bumper at this point We can't see who's driving because this douche now is all brights are in our faces and we are full-blown pedal to metal We blew through four different one-way stop signs just trying to lose this truck But it was on our ass if you have ever driven on a country road You would know how dangerous blowing a single stop sign is the miles per hour on these roads go up to 70 miles per hour And if you're in the wrong place in the wrong time you get creamed blowing that stop sign That's so scary before we knew it the truck was next to us in the oncoming traffic lane Side swiping and pushing us off the road into a ditch a mother fucking ditch I still have no idea how or why but by some grace of God this little trash bag of a car went straight into the ditch And as fast as we flew in we hit a bump on the ground and flew right out Holy shit Wow by now the back bumper is scraping on the ground the driver's side mirror has been completely turned off and we were Diling 911. Oh my god You call as soon as you hit the bumper you ask oh, maybe that's because there was no cell reception I didn't even think of why they didn't straight out of some scary ass film We finally start to see our towns lights and go straight to the police station still no cell service As soon as we hit the towns limits where there was a subdivision We turn in if anything to take a shortcut to the police station the truck follows us It makes a U-turn to start heading back to where we just had our death drive But stops underneath one of the street lamps we start slowing down and looking behind us to try and see who the fuck just tried to Ram us off the road three men get out of the truck. Oh my god. I'm really stressed out I know I was trying to hoodie on fully covered in black pants and hoodies and you could clearly see their hands and shoes were Covered in something bright red they did some weird huddle what's glance up at us and get back in the truck and start driving away Like nothing had happened we noticed there was no license plates and we were floored We went straight to the police station filed a report and they took our statements But there wasn't much they could do because of the because of the jurisdiction and we basically had nothing to go off of That's when the police told us that no one had lived in that house for the past 20 years Due to the fact that a man had murdered his entire family and then shot himself out Shut the fuck up the car was basically totaled and got sent to a junkyard It was well past this expiration date anyway a few days went by and Jane was pissed She didn't have a car anymore like I said before we were some badass teenagers so when one of us was pissed We were all pissed so what do you think you would be the smart idea to go back to that hellhole of a house during the day And cuss out the motherfuckers who destroyed your car?

No, no no bad idea bad idea. I'm telling you we were wild and dumb as shit for that matter You were you sure were we got baseball bats hammers and pepper spray and we're ready like bra what the fuck were we thinking? So we get to that was like 1 p.m. When the sun is shining drive our asses up this long as driveway in two different vehicles and all eight of us girls Get ready to fuck some shit up.

That's honestly incredible. It really is incredible But when we get there it's silent like overly silent We've started walking towards the side of the house and noticed some strange things for bright red empty gallons of paint We see that the door to the house doesn't even exist and walk in we split up into two four-person groups and start walking around When I tell you this house is scary. It's an understatement. There's peeling stained wallpaper random toys and dolls and nasty garbage everywhere From the other room we hear Jane say you guys get in here and we all come rushing in It was then that we see giant fucking devil signs and symbols painted all over the walls every single one of us booked it the fuck out of there And never look back.

That's right. We noped right the fuck out of there We got back to Torrey's house We went straight inside and grabbed some wine because duh after we calmed down and got a good buzz We went back to the cars to unload the bats and other random ass wannabe weapons that we had brought and all and we all froze Our on both car bumpers were bright red strokes of paint Whoever painted that shit on the walls in that house had been outside watching us the whole fucking time and we had never seen them To this day I can't explain why those men chased us or what the hell was written on those walls But from then on everything just seemed different some girls started lying to each other others started resenting each other for basically No reason and everything throughout the years our friendships all started to fade away Oh, I only keep in contact with two of the girls now a few of the others moved away and have families and one got sucked into drugs And sex work in the city. Oh, no, the spooky is part of the story that house was set on fire a few years after on Halloween There it is there it is on Halloween night and nothing was left of it. Oh, no, that's not the spookiest part The spookiest part is that when all our towns local news page the patch uploaded the article patch to in posted pictures of the fire You can clearly see a fucking skull face in the mother fucking flames.

Yes, I linked the post and the photo where I circled the face So that's my listener to oh sorry again for the legs and horrible writing skills I haven't looked out yet love you guys and keep it weird But also where that you're into some crazy ctanic shit where a man murdered his entire family and killed himself and tried to run into a Girlbook girls off the road in a big-ass track and watch them when they come back to fuck you up and paint on their cars to Say the shit out of them and burn the house it down a few years later Alright number one you did like a really good job at number two I was just staring at the photo the entire time you did that my entire fucking body is covered in fucking goosebumps and I need to see this. I'm freaked the fuck I'm looking right now. She circled it It's insane hold on because I've never seen anything like that. It's insane.

I'm upset. I'm looking right I'm needing hey Arnold in my life right now. Hey Arnold. It won't download on my thing Oh wait here this I see it good time Oh Yeah, yeah, oh I like stop looking at it.

I looked at it too long. I feel oh and it looks perturbed. It does I'm gonna go home and stage myself after looking at that. Oh, that's it looks like it's like Okay, it looks like it's one way to interpret that I think it's going No get it You get it So, you know what?

Thank you very much Undamed unnamed person undamed I won't say your name because I don't know you want me to So thank you so much. Holy shit. What a wild red. That's so nice What a truly red wild red so they were in there watching them the entire time and then painted red on there So they were all red from painting all that shit inside the house and then cut saw them chase them down Ran them off the road.

Wow, then suddenly we're like I think that's enough. I think that's enough I think our work is like a little huddle. We're like good work I think they saw how resilient you were and they were like well They were like well those are badass bitches so we should move on Wow, and then you're in the house and they're watching your ass the whole time and then paint on your bumpers. Yeah, that's Wait, so that's weird flex weird flex not okay.

No, okay Did they paint the bumpers and you just like didn't see them there? No, they literally while they were in the house looking at all this shit Those dudes were outside watching them do this and then just like swiped paint on the back of their bumpers so that they knew they were watching Them okay, I get it now. Wow. I was lost a lot.

I just have a moment this I know what it is. She's just it's the end of the world moment I thought they I thought she was saying they were watching them the whole time the first time they went there now I really thought I'm dumb and that it was the second yeah, they were watching the whole time they went back And then they swipe like red paint on their bumpers to be like hey, we were watching it That's so much there. Yeah, you can be really a movie. It really could and also why do they just let you go after that?

You know what I claim the rights to this story I don't know if it works. I Declare big crops. I knew you were gonna do it. Oh, so this is my no.

Thank you for that. So I'm gonna take that I'm gonna take that Wow. All right. This one is called let's not use sacrificial virgin blood on Ouija boards Don't do it.

That's let's not don't do it. Hey girls. Hi from Toronto firstly I'd like to say I absolutely love love love your podcast I listen to it all the time at work and get weird looks when I laugh to myself since we're not supposed to have your phones in and nobody knows Why the fuck I'm always really amazing and also Canada. Yes, Canada air pods backwards and use your hair to cover it best trick ever I swear that is really really smart.

I don't know Anyway, I found you guys a little more than a month ago and I've listened to every single episode I'm actually 23 to and a Capricorn to whoa, so it's like both of us mashed together So love that connection so much. Please come visit Toronto soon I'd love to see a show I even got my mom hooked on your podcast If you guys read this on your podcast a little shout out to my sage-wielding bad bitch of a mom who got rid of a demon for me I love this there's so many cool moms here. You know, that's incredible also. It just occurred to me that I'm not 23 I'm 24 now.

Oh, you're not I literally just forgot how old I was. I was well. Anyways, let me explain this from the beginning I was 16 picture super angsty scene girl. I always wanted to be a super angsty scene girl who didn't never worked for me I was never someone who believed in ghosts let alone demons and diamonds I went to church every Sunday and I believed in God my house smelt melt smelt more like a church That was because I'm pretty sure there's incense in every crevice of wood in my home at this point And I also have a mother who was sensitive to that stuff But I called bullshit when I was young because the idea of demons diamonds diamonds and ghosts never sat right with me and in my true Capricorn fashion I need to see those red red-eyed dark shadowed straight from the bowels of hell motherfuckers before I believe in them Ah, I feel you and girls see what I did Hold on to your butts because this one this is one nasty ride and it all starts with the best friend I have to this day.

Oh, no, no a best friend I to this day wish I never met Oh, oh I'm going to name this crazy friend Gretchen because I hate her in the name almost as much as I despise this girl Well Gretchen weeners watch out just gonna say in non-progretchen weeners by that's why your hair is a big It's full of demons Gretchen was one of those people who was really into the spirit realm But honestly, oh excuse me and honestly if anyone dabbles in that girl you do you? If it doesn't hurt anyone who cares this girl not so much her and her family fucked around with weegi boards all the time and had to move out of Not one put two houses. What the shit apparently went fucking bonkers on their house on a day-to-day basis. Yeah, so here's where I get sucked into her Into her I think I'm a witch so I'm going to mess with you I don't understand because my parents are clearly terrible influences But it's okay because I watch the craft one time and I'm totally an expert on it like goes into even bullshit Oh, I feel like that was awesome.

I was just gonna say I feel personally attacked actually we were those friends Somebody that I used to be friends with listening to this right now like that that reminds me of you actually Halloween night 2014 keep in mind I found this all out after Gretchen and her family decided it was a great fucking idea to play with the weegi board and even better and even better Psychotic idea is that they cut her hand and used virgin blood on the board watch feel like her parents need to talk to someone I feel like that's some bullshit feel like that's not all right. Maybe don't do that. You did not read that wrong They cut the hand of their own daughter. Thank you So it could bleed on the weegi board as some virgin blood.

Yeah, that's a lot. Excuse me virgin sacrificial blood I cannot make this shit up. You know what would have been so fucking funny And this is just like me being a dick what if she was like I'm not a virgin and they really got mad Oh, and then they were like you're grounded get out of here And that was the end of the weegi board session. That was it also to anyone listening.

Don't be don't just don't be stupid But the board away Jan the ghost Jan the coast can't tell you if kind of likes you Anyway back to the story this one of you which comes into my house the next day first leap over and my cat is going bonkers But when I say bonkers, I mean I mean now screaming and running up and down the stairs in a senseless senseless panic type bonkers Yeah, I of course just brush it off cats being cats. I don't know. I've never seen my cat do you know that you're a flop cats be cats So cats be cat and she sleeps over nothing happens she goes home and that's been stuff went south real quick Oh, no, she left her badness at your place The next week my family is at each other's throats arguing over stupid stuff screaming and honestly just being downright terrible to each other This is something that honestly never happens The next thing Because we've always been a close family and it was such vicious arguing. Oh, sorry Well, all this is going on my cats and birds are going back to crazy too My mother at the end of the week just comes into my room at night and says your friend brought something into the house That's your fucking bitch ass friend left her diamond and also Kyle doesn't like you the demon told me all right, Jan And my teenage dumbass says My dumbass teenage Teenage dumbass was like all right there glenda whoo go so scary and I remember she just looked at me like oh, yeah bitch Okay, she just says don't come to me if something happens and walks out of my room Who she dropped a mom mom mom?

She was like, okay, little girl. Okay. Thank you so big and tough. Don't come to me If something happens you little bitch ass bitch, you know mom Me as a mother you little bitch ass bitch.

I honestly don't think Okay, I honestly didn't think anything of it until the next night 3 a.m. I woke up in a panic And I saw these massive spiders crawling down towards my head from the ceiling and I automatically thought I was dealing with the sleep paralysis She didn't say the sleep paralysis. I thought I was dealing with the sleep paralysis with Oh sleep paralysis, but I could wiggle my fingers and toes So that was big note when I realized I could move I real quick rolled to get out of my bed And the moment I rolled to my right to get to my feet on to get my feet on the ground There was a face in front of mine mouth wide fucking open eyes red crouched so its face could be next to mine Oh and not moving when I tell you I lost my shit. I lost my mother fucking shit I just lost my shit for you.

My shit's gone. My shit just ran out the door my shit moved to Illinois I started screaming Bloody Mary. I called God himself on speed dial I'm speed dial prayer in that moment I would do the same thing. I legit thought I was gonna die.

Honestly bless my parents They came barely in like some half asleep nights or anything whatever it was the second the light was on any good Parent is a half asleep night in the middle tonight. Honestly. I've seen it I've seen it and the second the light was on of course the spiders and the diamond I was gone at that point I was stopping and telling my mother I would be the best child in the world as long as she got rid of it So my dad just picked me up brought me into their room and let me sleep at the end of their bed But before we all fell asleep my dad started complaining about his leg He lifted his sweatpants up Oh my god, and I shit you not on his leg was what looked like three scratch marks running down the outside of his calf That is a diamond that is a straight-up diamond because I only have three fingers They do always I know it I've known it I lost my mind and my mom went warrior bad bitch in that moment because it's the one because it's one thing Does your dad that probably deserved a good scare? It's an entirely different playing field when you touch her man Yes, this cunt cool.

It's cool. Just cool. Just cool. She wrote Irish accent Irish accent here ran down the stairs lit incense Smudging the entire house top to bottom threatening this thing to get the fuck out of her house and straight back to where it came from Amazing I am not joking when I say the air in that moment got 50 times lighter It was nuts everything seemed to just be okay in that in that moment I have no idea to this day what the hell happened I can say three things for sure though one took me two weeks to go back to my room to sleep alone I felt safer with my dad a bat and an incense and sage-wielding badass in the same room Yep, two when I told Gretchen everything that happened She finally told me what she did on Halloween and didn't see why on earth I'd be so upset with her and told me I was being a I was just being dramatic because she was used to it and it wasn't so bad Oh correction.

Can we see why I'm not friends with a crazy lady? Yeah, no more Gretchen when demons are not bad three I will never ever ever ever ever ever touch a Ouija board and I will never second guess the existing of things I can't see leprechauns you betcha fairies absolutely goes to yuppers demons hell. Yeah pun intended Santa Claus Ho Ho happy to agree I don't care what it is just keep it away for me as long as I live I got the creeps right I got the creeps writing that all down and it's for him so I guess I won't be sleeping tonight I'm so sorry. This is so long and rambly.

I really hope you guys enjoyed that little crazy bit of my life I still sleep with some sort of night like in my room or light in my room at 23 So I think it may have messed me up a little bit I say so it's okay makes a good story for my non-existent kids when I want to make sure that the little tyrants never touch a Ouija board hell yeah, can you banish your own kids from your house if they do? I mean, I'm gonna I honestly I'm gonna use your story to ban a Ouija board in my house I always think about having kids and they're dumb little asses bring a fucking weed to order to my house I'm just gonna tell them this story. I'd be like you don't pay the mortgage So well, you know what Leila I'm really thanking you for this story because I'm gonna use it I'm stealing it. I'm stealing another story.

She says I feel like that should be the law also your a stealer Yeah, anyway, thank you so much for being amazing more than hilarious people you make my day so much better by just existing Wow our day better than you Have a wonderful weir have a wonderful week keep safe and keep it weird But not so many of you use a wee But like not chill she sounded not chill, but she sounded so chill and she was like I'm just used to it But it's like you're used to it, but don't bring it into other people's houses I know I wonder like what's wrong with you. How did did she do it on purpose? I think she just came in there She let that little diamond just to get off of you How do you say like this seems like a good place for you she became his she became his fucking demon realtor She did she showed him some houses like do you see that this has a lovely view of the northern part of this? Three and a half bats full fucking backyard Damon.

There's hardwood floors in here Damon. Do you see it? They're a little creaky That's right. It's just it just adds to the character home.

See that there's pocket doors You don't see that in every house Damon. Oh two shower heads in the bathroom. Oh the closet space Oh a California King comes with the house and you can make this an office Damon Yeah, he was like sold appliances included sold and he stayed no he was like That's what he did and then he said he put his he put his three fingers up Gosh gosh We hope you enjoyed this installment of Halloween Halloween Because we managed to get Halloween and every single one of those I think that this might have been the most ridiculous think it was Listen or tails at all times. So, you know what guys hi three to all you up there.

Yeah, hi three. Hi three. We did it together We got through it. Thank you so much for your list in your tails.

They are truly extraordinary You never disappoint never I never laugh as hard as when I read your fucking listener I'm gonna learn how to read again so I better. I'm actually teaching the girls phonics right now So maybe I'll refresh my memory along the way. I shall hook herself back on to fun I think I need a new fucking prescription glass. Thank you.

I need new I can't even talk words I need new prescription glass. So we'll get through that and yeah, so get make sure you keep an eye out for that add free bonus Random episode next week about Halloween about Sowing or Sam Hain is some people call some of you call it if you fucking people who are wrong I'm gonna let you know something You know the entire time you're saying Sam Hain I thought it was just like a kid that died there you go Okay, so that's where we are so look out for that and also two other episodes next week one that has been highly requested And it's highly fucked up and it's highly disturbing so get ready for that and we love you guys Thanks in the meantime you can follow us on Instagram at morbid podcast hit us up on for top at a morbid podcast send us a Gmail morbid podcast at gmail.com and make sure that you're gonna be really fucking fresh to death this Halloween Halloween and shop at shop.morbidpodcast.com where you can get a bunch of fucking great fucking merch fuck Thank you, we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it Alayna, robo, robo, remix But not so weird that you get run off the road by a truck Satanist and then they watch you and they put rent Hang on your bumper for no reason and then you're a lady named Gretchen and you come over your best friend's house And you leave a diamond there because you put some sacrificial version blood on a weed to board with your family Because you guys are weird and don't live in a sorority house with a guy named Shekelford who's gonna brand your booty with an S Booty not your booty Don't live in a haunted house and doing knowledge that it's a haunted house with all the shit like a cookie She flying off the thing and I'm somebody saying hi Sheba and everybody's like I didn't hear that I don't know what's going on this is a haunted don't What no I was just don't fuck on my jam man. I got my groove Also, don't actually totally be one of those moms that puts a fake clown on your teenage kids bed after you watch the Poulter guys because they made fun of the special effects because those facts are awesome to this day It's like a perfect haunted movie So don't fuck with that and also don't wake up your fiance with ASMR being like Don't be that weird don't be that weird don't that was really good. I'm so proud of you I don't know if you're this way.

No, no, no, you'd be proud. I tried. Thank you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, bye no, no, no, bye