Living Well With Dementia: Friendship, Dignity and Making Moments Matter

In this deeply moving and often joyful episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker is joined by Peter Berry, who lives with Alzheimer’s, and Deb Bunt, author, counsellor and Peter’s close friend. Together, they explore what it truly means to live well with dementia — not through clinical labels or deficits, but through friendship, dignity, purpose and shared humanity. This conversation will resonate strongly with family carers, professional caregivers, teachers and anyone supporting someone with additional needs, as it challenges common assumptions about memory, identity and “loss”. Peter and Deb share honest reflections on diagnosis, stigma, trust, cycling challenges, writing together, and the idea of being an “external memory” — all grounded in a relationship that prioritises connection over care and moments over memories. ⏱️ Episode Chapters (Timestamps) 00:01 – Living with a dementia diagnosis: shame, silence and the turning point 05:30 – Purpose, advocacy and planting a new future 06:30 – Not being defined by dementia 08:45 – Dignity, stigma and the “shabby coat” metaphor 13:50 – Living in the moment and finding joy 17:10 – Metaphors, meaning and communicating the unsayable 19:20 – Cycling, challenge and staying active 25:50 – Life after diagnosis: what is still possible 33:15 – “External memory”, trust and friendship 41:45 – Making moments, not memories 47:00 – Support versus care and mutual relationships 56:05 – Messages for those newly diagnosed or supporting someone 59:05 – Books, advocacy and what comes next 💡 Three Key Messages from This Episode Dementia does not erase identity Peter is not “a person with dementia” — he is Peter. Diagnosis may change memory, but it does not remove personality, humour, values or worth. Dignity is shaped by how we respond As Peter powerfully explains, dignity isn’t taken by dementia itself, but by how others react to the label. Compassionate responses preserve humanity. Moments matter more than memories You may not be able to create lasting memories — but you can always create meaningful moments. Joy exists in the here and now. 📚 Resources Mentioned in the Episode Slow Puncture – Living Well with Dementia Available in print, Kindle and audiobook Walk with Me – Musings Through the Dementia Fog Patching the Puncture – Continuing to Live Well with Dementia (Released February 2026) 👉 Pre-order: https://bookguild.co.uk/bookshop/memoir/patching-the-puncture 🌐 Peter & Deb’s website and media appearances: https://www.peter-berry.com 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? If you support someone living with dementia — professionally or personally — this episode offers hope, clarity and a reframe. You’ll gain: A deeper understanding of memory, identity and emotional connection Practical insights into supporting someone without diminishing them Reassurance that life, joy and purpose do not end with diagnosis A reminder that friendship, humour and dignity still matter deeply This is not a conversation about “managing dementia” — it’s about being human together. 🔗 Connect with Our Guests Deb Bunt – Author & Advocate LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deb-bunt-ab247524/ Instagram: @deb.bunt Twitter/X: @debbunt Peter Berry – Living with Alzheimer’s Facebook: Peter Berry Living with Alzheimer’s Website & media: https://www.peter-berry.com 🌍 Able to Care – Links & Social Media 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: Able Training 📲 LinkedIn: Andy Baker