Living with PTSD: A reporter's story after Itaewon Episode 8: Minesweeping through triggers, healing through help and confrontation To Readers Note: The story centers on the Itaewon disaster, which occurred on Oct. 29, 2022. The switch that sends me back to the past Warning The powerful trigger of the Jeju Air crash Jeju Air crash Editor's Note If triggers cannot be avoided, what can we do? See a professional Know your triggers Face the trigger This article was originally written in Korean and translated by a bilingual reporter with the help of generative AI tools. It was then edited by a native English-speaking editor. All AI-assisted translations are reviewed and refined by our newsroom.

Hidden triggers, from abandoned shoes to the Jeju Air crash, continued to reopen my trauma. But treatment helped me endure. *The series is based on the real-life experience of Kim Nam-young, a JoongAng Ilbo reporter currently living with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The following articles are written from Kim's first-person perspective. I have PTSD. Itaewon is a well-known nightlife district in Yongsan District, central Seoul, and a popular spot for Halloween celebrations because of its diverse international culture. The disaster occurred during the first Halloween weekend after social distancing restrictions imposed during the Covid-19 pandemic had been lifted. Large crowds gathered in the area to celebrate. As more and more people poured into the neighborhood, the crowd insidiously swelled into a dangerously packed mass. The situation eventually led to a crowd crush in a narrow alley, amid a lack of effective control measures to control the on-foot traffic, leaving some 350 people dead or injured, including 159 fatalities. As a reporter on the social affairs desk, I covered the Itaewon disaster on Oct. 29, 2022. Since November of the following year, I have been receiving treatment regularly. I attend psychiatric counseling sessions and take medication every day. I am only revealing the illness now, more than two years later, not because I have overcome it. This is not a story about recovery, but a record of living through the illness. To be honest, I still do not know when, or if, I will overcome it. Instead, I want to talk about the time I have spent living alongside PTSD. Even now, I continue to work as a policy and social affairs reporter while exercising, traveling and getting on with daily life. If someone is hesitating to see a doctor, I hope this piece can help. I also hope we can become a society where people do not feel forced to hide emotional pain and trauma. When I was young, there was an old computer game called Minesweeper. It was simple. Players clicked squares one by one while trying to avoid hidden mines. The tension came from not knowing where the mines might be; you could spend minutes carefully navigating the board, only for a single thoughtless click to bring everything crashing down. My life after PTSD became much like that game. But unlike the game, there were no warning signs of latent mines. On the surface, it looked like any other ordinary day. But lived never knowing when or where I might step on a hidden mine. No matter how careful I was, they appeared where I least expected them. A scene I would normally pass without a second thought or an object I once considered insignificant could suddenly turn my world upside down. In an instant, I would find myself back in the past. For people with PTSD, these everyday mines are called triggers. A trigger is anything that brings a traumatic memory rushing back and makes a person relive it. Triggers are deeply personal. What seems insignificant to people can be overwhelming for someone living with PTSD. I also had to confront my own triggers. From shoes appearing in films to the Jeju Air disaster, certain reminders were impossible to avoid, pulling me back and forth between the present and the past. There were times when I felt overwhelmed by the fear that I was being dragged back to the very beginning of the Itaewon disaster all over again. This article contains references to the October 2022 Itaewon disaster and the December 2024 Jeju Air crash. Descriptions of disaster scenes, rescue efforts and emotional and physical reactions may cause distress or psychological discomfort for some readers. If you have experienced similar events or are currently struggling emotionally, consider taking a break from reading or seeking support. Professional help is available through mental health clinics and counseling services. A trigger can be anything from a single object to a whole situation. For someone who survived a car accident, items inside a vehicle...