Make Rejection Your Bestie

I’ve had several recent one on ones on the subject of rejection, and I’m feeling the urge to riff about it.James Altucher once said, “Rejection-and the fear of rejection-is the biggest impediment we face to choosing ourselves”.And how does rejection or rather, the fear of it, keep us from choosing ourselves?We do not take the action which would bring ourselves joy, because of what we tell ourselves about other people’s evaluations of us.You don’t plant a kiss on our husband or pat his tush, because your brain is saying, “he doesn’t like me.”Or because what if he looks at me with an unpleasant expression?  I couldn’t handle that.You don’t initiate lovemaking even though you’re aching to be touched on the off chance that he’s holding a grudge and pulls away from you.  You couldn’t bear that.The success literature is full of sound bites about risking rejection:  “You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” -Wayne Gretzky“Every no gets me closer to a yes.”-Mark CubanMedia Exposure Specialist Jen Gottlieb posted the hashtag makerejectionyourbestie- where I got the title of this episode.Harry Potter was rejected by 12 publishers, etc.And this makes sense to us in the business world.But somehow, in the realm of romantic relationships it hits different.  In this case, you’re facing rejection from the one person in the world you’ve given your heart to.So you’d rather shrink and maintain distance than build a connection.  Wait, does that make any sense?Learn more at bethechangeinyourmarriage.onuniverse.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bethechangeinyourmarriage.substack.com