Mary Jane Charles on Documenting Final Wishes for Peace of Mind

Does this sound familiar? You've been told to simply write down your final wishes and essential information for end-of-life matters, thinking it will bring you peace of mind. But instead, you find yourself overwhelmed, stressed, and unsure if you've covered everything. The pain of not having a clear plan in place can weigh heavily on your shoulders, leaving you anxious about the future. Isn't it time to find a more effective solution that truly brings you the peace and reduced stress you deserve? Show Notes | Transcript "Don't wait until it's too late. Start the conversation, bring in your workbook, and make your wishes known. It's a conversation, not a confrontation, and it can be a really lovely learning experience for everybody." - Mary Jane Charles Mary Jane Charles is a passionate advocate for end-of-life planning and the author of the book, "Surviving the Business of Dying: Why Final Papers Matter." With a mission to ensure that your last wishes are compiled in one place, Mary Jane, also known as the Last Wishes Facilitator, aims to alleviate stress and uncertainty for your loved ones.After experiencing the sudden loss of her husband and navigating the complex aftermath without clear instructions or necessary documents, she became determined to help others avoid the same struggles. Through her speaking engagements, workshops and workbook, Mary Jane provides practical advice and guidance, emphasizing the importance of documenting final wishes and essential information. Join us as Mary Jane shares her insights and expertise on Live. Love. Engage. In this episode, you will be able to: Gain peace of mind and reduce stress by documenting your final wishes and essential information for end-of-life matters. Simplify the process of handling end-of-life matters by having all your important information in one central location. Take control of your future by being proactive in planning for end-of-life matters. Organize and manage your important documents and paperwork with strategies that make the process easier and more efficient. Overcome self-doubt and attribute your success in end-of-life planning to your personal effort rather than luck. Related Live. Love. Engage. episodes you may enjoy: Using Music to Ease the Journey from Life to Death with Linda Bryce Live Without Regrets: Jodi Wellman’s 4000 Mondays Challenge Resources: Connect with Mary Jane here Email Mary Jane: MJ (at) lastwishesnsupport.com Join the Soulful Women's Network here Send me a message here ☕ Support the podcast here ❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating here Connect with Gloria: LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter TRANSCRIPT Gloria Grace Rand You're listening to the Live Love Engage podcast on today's show, why it's important to compile your final papers now before an illness, accident or death occurs. Stay tuned. I am Gloria Grace Rand, founder of The Love Method and author of the number one Amazon bestseller, Live Love Engage How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Start Being Yourself. In this podcast, we share practical advice from a spiritual perspective on how to live fully, love deeply and engage authentically so you can create a life and business with more impact, influence and income. Welcome to live. Love Engage. Namaste. Oh, welcome. Welcome to the show. Whether you are a regular subscriber or this is your very first time here, I'm just delighted to have you and have you joining us today. And if you are new to the show, just to reinforce what you might have heard on the intro or maybe not, depending if you're watching on YouTube. I am Gloria Grace, the light messenger and spiritual alignment coach and women entrepreneurs hire me to clear the inner blocks keeping you stuck so you can live the life you want now. And today I am going to have on a lovely, lovely woman who I met through a networking organization that we are both members of, and her name is Mary Jane Charles, and she is on a mission to ensure that your last wishes are compiled in one place, so your loved ones don't have to guess, interpret, or argue frankly about your intentions. And she is known as the Last Wishes Facilitator and Mary Jane is a speaker and also author of the book Surviving the Business of Dying: Why Final Papers Matter and which we are definitely going to be talking about on the show today. So I want to welcome you, Mary Jane Charles, to live, love, engage. Glad to have you. Mary Jane Charles Thank you, Gloria Grace it's so nice to be here. Nice to be back, I should say. Gloria Grace Rand Yeah. I'm going to say a quick prayer to the internet gods that we're going to have good signal today because as we're recording this, it is a little Mercury in retrograde, but it's all going to work out. So I'm just going to trust because now you look beautiful again, it was a little fuzzy, but now you look gorgeous. I love to start off the interviews asking our guests about the journey that got them where they are today. And, and for you in particular, I know it has to do with this becoming this last wishes facilitator and what prompted you to actually write your book. So I want to, would love for you to be able to share that story with our listeners and viewers today. Mary Jane Charles So thank you for this opportunity to just share what I learned on the job, so to speak. It was one day we've all heard. Life can change on a dime and we shrug, we say, oh, I know, I should do this, I should do that. Well, I'm here to say it can change on a dime, and it did for me. My husband, eight years ago, was not well. He would not go to a doctor. He consulted Dr. Google. In any case, he wanted to see a partner. And I said, I will drive you, because he was too weak to drive. And we got there, we were in. The parking lot and I looked over. Tell him to say we're here, and he had died. He died literally in the car seat next to me. I knew he had been ill and I knew he was fading before me. But it was still quite a shock, as you can imagine. Within a half hour, I was sitting. In the Er waiting room and a Doctor walked out to me and said, do you have his final papers? Meaning his medical directive. Well, previously that morning, I tried to coax him yet again to please sign. The medical directive for the State of Washington, where I was living at the time. He said, absolutely not. I'm not signing that. I realized that I had the medical directive in one hand, I had my phone in the other. I said, Would you let me read it to you, yes or no? Questions and video you at the same time? And he nodded. He consented. Holy cow, I had it. Within 20 minutes, I read the questions in a yes or no manner and he either shook his head or nodded. Boom. Done. No way on God's good earth did I think I would have to use this. 4 hours later, I gave the phone to the doctor. He was blown away, asked permission to take the phone and show it, I'm sure, to whoever his boss was, to make sure it was all legal. And that's how we started this journey. Just like that. When she got home, you were numb. My son and I, thank goodness he was 28 and could drive. I drove. I think the car drove itself, actually. And the very next day, I found myself in an attorney office with the eldest stepson. He had arranged this meeting with a man I did not know. He could not get my name straight. It's only Mary Jane. And he was telling me what I would be doing. His father had yet to be gone 24 hours, so at this point, I was annoyed. I don't know why. That preceded everything. I thought this isn't right. And I let the man talk more. And I stood up. I said, well, thank you for your time, but this meeting is over. And all the men in the room, there were three of them. They're looking at each other. Not in a moment did anyone look at me to speak to me, the wife, they were among. It was like a good old boy set up or something. I sat back and folded my arms. I said, I think that's enough, and I'll be leaving. And I got up and I thanked him first time, and I left. And I simply told the stepson that I would be obtaining my own attorney that would be after the funeral. And it went on from there. The frustration I felt the following week with all the piles of things and no will, no instructions, no partner papers. Within a short period of time, I got tired of saying, I don't know. And I changed it to I'll get back to you. I'll get back to you on that. And that's a great phrase. When you are being hounded or set up or whatever phrase you want to use, you can alter it with your tone of voice and body language. So keep that in your pocket. I'll be back to you. I looked around my dining room table. It looked like a war room of old You just needed that big stick to move the ships around. And I decided that's a chapter. That's a chapter, and that's a chapter. And that was the beginning of my book. Gloria Grace Rand Wow. Number one, I'm just sorry for your loss, and especially then, sorry for everything that came after that. I mean, to be treated like almost like a second class citizen, because with your stepson and these attorneys and forgetting that, yeah, you have big stake in this. He was your husband. But I wanted to know. It's so hard to I can only imagine not knowing. There's so many things you have to do when someone dies. You have to deal with. I'm sure you had a house. You've got to deal with that. There's bank accounts, there's credit cards, all of these health insurance. All of these things that you have to deal with. And so was it then your experience that for whatever reason, your husband didn't really want to put any of that information somewhere where you could be able to get it? So what do you think was the biggest frustration or maybe the biggest hurdle that you had to overcome when you were dealing with the aftermath of this and trying to be organized? Mary Jane Charles ...