Matched, Ghosted, Triggered: Dating Apps & Attachment
from Just Listen To Me Hosted by Julia Shay
You match. You message. You wait. And sometimes, before you’ve even met someone, your attachment system is already working overtime. Dating apps have completely changed the way we meet people — but they haven’t changed the attachment patterns we bring into relationships. The uncertainty, mixed signals, ghosting, endless swiping and constant availability can create the perfect environment for anxious and avoidant attachment strategies to kick in. In this episode, we’re looking at dating apps through an attachment lens. Why can a delayed reply feel like rejection? Why can someone seem incredibly attractive until they start getting too close? And why do we sometimes mistake anxiety, uncertainty and emotional activation for chemistry? We’ll explore the anxious attachment trap, the swipe-and-withdraw cycle, and the difference between being genuinely interested in someone and being preoccupied with whether they’re interested in you. Because sometimes the person you’re most drawn to isn’t necessarily the person you’re most compatible with. Sometimes they’re simply the person who touches the oldest wound. And perhaps the most important question when you’re dating online isn’t “Do they want me?” It’s “Do I actually want them?” Welcome to the Attachment Dating App.
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