Meet bereavement manager Louise Mainland: how she’s taken her own grief and uses it to support others with theirs and, ultimately, live (and die) better

Life has been busy lately so I haven’t had time to do my wee community podcast Kincraig Cares. But I was recently reminded at my friend Helen Ekerot’s funeral in January how important it is we make time for the things, and people, that matter in our lives. I know Helena’s passing hit a lot of people in our community hard because her death seemed so untimely and so unfair. I’ve thought about her a lot since saying goodbye at the beginning of January - about her grace, her calmness, her serenity and the way she loved and embraced life with her sunshine smile and bright colours.I wanted to do something to honour her memory and to also help our community move forward after difficult deaths like Helena’s. And how we, as a community, can best support those most affected.How we can - as the minister said at her funeral - take the essence of what we loved about a person and allow it to live on, flourish even, in us.I had the privilege having this amazing, life affirming, rollercoaster of a conversation with another brilliant local lady - Louise Mainland. Someone who I’ve actually wanted to sit down with for ages for a proper meaty chat as I’ve admired the way she lives, and thinks, from afar for years.Lou is bereavement services manager at Highland Hospice (amongst many other things!); a role she was drawn to after her personal experience of tragic baby loss. I’m really grateful to Lou for her time, her words really helped me, and I hope they help any of you struggling with grief and/or also wanting to remember Helena. Also very grateful that Lou was so open and honest - the conversation does get teary at points and we don’t shy away from difficult feelings or topics. But, ultimately, this is a joyful, uplifting conversation which I helps others in our community (and outwith) go forward from loss.We also discuss loss in many different forms.Lou also mentions many different local resources:Highland Hospice Simba (baby loss charity)Held in our hearts (baby loss charity)Cruse (bereavement support)Grief brief animationPlease listen and share with anyone else that may benefit from this conversation. 00:00 Welcome to Kincraig Cares 00:52 Meet Louise Mainland02:44 Why This Conversation Matters04:13 Louise’s Loss Story11:07 From Grief to Purpose13:08 Talking About Death18:05 Processing Emotions20:06 Adults and Playful Healing26:13 Support Services Available28:17 Guilt and Grief Hierarchies34:35 Funerals and Saying Goodbye36:55 Rituals and Enduring Bonds39:55 Permission and Planning Ahead42:23 Planning a Fun Funeral44:39 Wills and Family Conflict47:38 Journaling and AI for Grief50:16 Energy and Afterlife Beliefs53:05 Rituals and Collective Mourning58:53 Everyday Connection Matters01:04:18 How to Support the Bereaved01:06:02 Estrangement and Living Loss01:14:14 Medicalized Death and Longevity01:18:29 Happiness Values and Legacy01:20:27 Final Takeaways and GoodbyeKincraig Cares podcast is being made on a shoe string out of love, so is very grateful for free resources which make this possible, like the intro and out music which is called 'Holiday Ukulele' by MaxKoMusic, promoted by www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ and part of the Creative Commons Attributions-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)