Monday Musings with Kissa - Finding my Voice Again

 Hello fam and welcome to Monday Musings with Kissa. I'm Kissa, the Notion Mama. I'm a wife, mom of two and small business owner based here in Los Angeles. I own a company called Co-Creative Cartel, LLC, with my husband, where a family business that creates Filipino American pantry food staples for every home to enjoy.And welcome to the first episode of this weekly podcast. So my intention here is every Monday I'm going to share life about. So my intention here is I'm going to be sharing about life that happened the past week, what's going on in business and personal life this upcoming week, and a story to share, but not necessarily in that order. This is meant to be kind of like an audio companion to my weekly newsletter that I send out.Every Thursday at 12:00 PM Pacific time. So if you're not already subscribed, definitely do that. That'll, that'll be kind of an extension or a deep dive into whatever we're talking about today. But welcome, I am so glad you're here. So let's dive in and talk about this past week. My goal here with the reflection is not only to share real life with you guys, but to also keep myself accountable.'cause honestly, as a mom, an entrepreneur and adult in general, I can barely remember what happened the week before. So this kind of helps me to reflect and remember so that I can set up this upcoming week for myself much better. So last week was 4th of July weekend, and to be honest with you, it was an off week.Anytime it's a long weekend, ugh. I just get thrown off because I'm such a creature of habit and routine that anytime. Something is a little bit different. I just feel off as it as it is. But then on top of that, my mental health hasn't been great considering the politics that are happening here in America.And then, like I said, long weekend vibes. So we didn't have our regular farmer's market schedule like we normally do every week. We took an extra day off because the kids were off from school on Friday. And then. We're dog sitting for family, so we have an extra family member here at home. So I am definitely struggling finding a way to jump back into our regular routine today, this Monday, and so I'm trying to figure out how I can start to find my rhythm again.And I had a Monday. Every Monday I have an accountability call with my friend Elisa from your Vivid Edge, and I was telling her about how I just felt so sluggish this morning, and I think reflecting on it, the big reason why is because I am immediately picking up my phone, checking email, scrolling on social media right when I get up.It's just such a bad habit and it does nothing. It does not serve me in any way, shape, or form, and I compare that to Charlie, my husband. He has this. Normal routine that he has, and I am low key jealous of it. And I was telling Elisa about it, that you know when he wakes up and his alarm goes off, like he goes straight to the bathroom, brushes his teeth, gets ready for the morning, and then he'll come out, make breakfast for the kids, put them on the dining table, and then while they're eating breakfast in the morning, he will continue with his morning routine, he will make himself coffee and do all the things.And I am. So not like that. Sometimes I'm, I will have that productivity kind of boost and I'll do the same thing. And then other days if I'm not feeling it, I kind of sway with the wind. And I low key want his discipline. So when I was talking to Elisa, she was like, why don't you find one thing to promise to yourself that you'll do every day to feel great about your mornings?And that was like a light mode. Light bulb moment. I was like, yes, that is such a good idea. And I've been wanting a morning routine that just doesn't involve checking emails or scrolling, because that just already puts me in such a negative place. So I was thinking about it and I was asking myself, what do I wanna do?And honestly, this is so embarrassing to admit, but I think that one thing I can do is honestly wash my face. I mean, I am a mom and a wife and an entrepreneur, and I just. Don't, I don't wash my face every morning, so I feel like that will be a good place to start. I mean, when I ask myself what will happen if I do this one, I won't be scrolling first thing in the morning, so that's already a good thing.Two, I can stack the ne, the ne. Two, I can stack those good habits since I'm already in the bathroom, like brushing my teeth, brushing my hair, doing all the things to get ready. That way I can then get my kids ready, drop them off at school. I'll prioritize and get my day going. Huh. In the end, honestly, I just want a morning routine that fills me up, right?I don't want something that will negatively affect me, and eventually I wanna be able to stack even more good things on top of this morning routine, like journaling, Bible study, prayer time, quiet time, all the things. Um, but I gotta start somewhere. So I'm gonna start with washing my face. Now I want to.Share a story with you guys about finding my voice again. So let me start by sharing what happened yesterday, this weekend at church, our pastor was preaching on Luke 5 27 to 31. It's the story of Levi, the tax collector, and basically how Jesus just invited him to leave everything behind and come and follow him and.When he was preaching about how. And when he was preaching about this passage, like one of the big key takeaways that I had was about how we can't become who we are called to be if we stay where we've always been. Oof. That hit so close to home. I share that because somewhere along the line. You know, life has happened and I've changed a little bit.I've grown a little bit, but I've started feeling comfortable staying quiet while people out there that are louder and more negative have things to say. And they're filling up the space with such negativity. I've also been taking the easy way out of allowing my overwhelm to paralyze me from taking action instead of doing a little bit every day to tackle those big projects.I mean, there's so many days where I remember thinking, should I just stay on my phone? And not do work because that productive thing that I could be doing just seems like so much and such a big undertaking. So many times that has happened to me and that conversation in my head is that's exactly how it pans out, and I've also found myself ignoring what I believe. And I've also found myself ignoring what I believe is my God-given talent of sharing perspectives to help others see a different side of different situations. This has been something that I've always done and um, I think it's because I do believe that one of my. Like greatest gifts is, um, something that I took for after my mom, and she was just a person that always led with this heart of grace, kindness and love, no matter how people treated her.And somewhere along the line. I, I kind of lost that. There are so many moments where, you know, I, I let those negative people chip away at that part of my heart where I don't wanna show people grace. I don't wanna show them kindness. I don't wanna lead from love. And I decided that. I didn't want that anymore.I feel like there's more, there's more people with voices of love that just get shut down and are, are kept quiet and now more than ever, we need those voices to be louder. We need kindness to step in. We need grace to step in. We need people that have words of love to share with people instead of words of hate.And I mean, that's basically why I started this substack because one of my biggest goals this year has been just embracing the process of shedding my chronic people pleaser mentality and that immigrant mentality of just blending in. I don't wanna do that anymore. I don't want to. Fade into the background.I wanna exercise my voice again. I wanna step into myself, and I wanna be proud of who I am and finding my community of like-minded people. There's one thing that I definitely do crave all the time, and that's community. I love talking to people. I love being surrounded by like-minded people that help me expand my thoughts, that teach me and help me grow and not stay stagnant.And I really find I wanna find those people here on Substack. So that is basically it. But I wanted to thank you. For listening, especially to this first episode. If you enjoyed this audio edition, please share it with a friend. Comment below and let me know what your current morning routine is like. If you feel bold enough and brave enough, share with me something that you're struggling with.I'm here. This is an open place. This is a safe space, and I would love to hear from you. For the full Jessica experience, definitely subscribe. Don't miss out on that Thursday newsletter. You can subscribe at the notion mama.substack.com and I will see you in your inbox on Thursday. Have an awesome week, fam.I'll talk to you soon. Get full access to Kissa - the Notion Mama at justkissa.substack.com/subscribe