Ladies and gentlemen, to another episode of Jesse and Wilder's Guide to Life, I'm Jesse, that's Wilder. We have emerged from the hole that we were in underground for many moons to deliver you once again these beautiful guides to your beautiful life. We back as hell, motherfuckers. Call your mom, call your friends, tell them it's fucking go time.
The door's open. Yeah. We were trapped underground and now we're here and back again. What have you done with your time, Wilder?
Have you done any cool things? It's funny you should ask because that's the perfect segue into our episode today. The reason I have not been around is because I've been moving across the country, much as you did. It's perfect.
We moved into the same time zone so that recording would be much easier so that maybe we could even do some in-person things when time came. And guess what? We're at the half to stop you. Go on.
There's an elephant in the room. Gang, our energy is all horrible right now and here's why. We just recorded about 15 minutes of this episode and it went away. Sometimes it just gets away from you.
But sometimes we will do 15 minutes and make this sucks, let's try again. That's not what happened. It was taken from us. It was stolen from us.
Yeah, a slow hard drive, the culprit this time around. Yes. So this is... Shake off the stink.
Shake off the fucking stink. It's true. We already had the stink of fucking three months hibernation on us. I know.
Quadrural stink. And now it's another layer of stink. Goddamn, too much stink. It's like smelling like a teenage boy and an old man.
It's two stinks. This is the five layer burrito of podcast episodes. Yeah. And even when you see it, you're like, this is probably not going to be good but it's all I've got and that's what we are here to serve to you.
We're doing an episode on moving. We both have recently moved across the country. This does not have to cover all cross country moving or rather this will cover all moving, not just cross country moving. Short moving, long moving, medium moving.
So we've got packing and movers and location and some other shits going on. I have to say a disclaimer. If you are a mover or you're some of your close family or movers or maybe your family immigrated here to be movers and that's your family business. Tell them to eat my bung.
Yeah, unfortunately you and your family can suck my butt. Yeah. So the moral of the story is if you or anyone you know is a mover, you're not invited to our birth. Correct.
Yeah. Never will be. We've recently had some tricky sticky situations with our movers. I thought mine was bad but grass was worse.
Yeah. The deal is from what I hear, if you're moving nearby, like within an hour of your current residence, a mover is a beautiful thing. Definitely. And they do offer lots of things that are cool.
Like they have those cool thick blankets that they put around your TV so that it doesn't get cracked. Although mine did get cracked. Yeah. I'd like to just real quickly say, look, I'm not like McGrath.
I wasn't born with a fucking silver spoon. Okay. This is the first time I've ever used movers. I do my own goddamn moving.
Yeah. I enjoyed not putting things into a truck. Watching them take the shit out was nice. Yeah.
And pretty substantially that this is an industry where you get what you pay for dudes. Yeah, majorly, majorly, majorly. You mustn't go with it. You want to shout out your garbage company?
Oh my God. American home movers, which like by the way, what I learned from their Yelp reviews after the fact of course, is that they go by many different names. They have like little dummy accounts. So they also go as like American van lines and some other bullshit.
Literally it seems as a way to siphon some of these poor reviews and to possibly shake the better business bureau off their trail. So yeah. So shout out to those Bing Bongs and shout out to Oz Moving Company who I had a thoroughly unpleasant experience with from literally the minute they showed up when the guy got there and asked if he could use my bathroom and took the fat shit in the world the minute he walked in the door. It's such a power move.
And the problem? We really set the tone. This situation with the cross country movers is that I would say I'm pretty nonconfrontational for the most part but if something demands my confrontation then I can deliver when need be. It is really hard to be confrontational when somebody has every single thing you own.
My god is that at a random point I mean for me my shit was in a warehouse in New Jersey for like 20 full days before it even started. I'm pretty sure they take everything and they just put it in that big Indiana Jones warehouse. Yep with the with the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and the. Yes from my favorite film Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Yeah that is movers they're horrible. I've very not quite let it take a big dude. Oh god it was very bad. Even I've recently some of our friends recently got some movers and I can't remember if they were moving or if it was like people just like moving into like a piece of furniture they bought or something but their house is set up in a way where the where the like bathroom sink was outside of the bathroom so like every it was kind of in the hallway and he watched the mover he the mover also took a duke so just a thing that they do and then he watched the mover just roll on by the sink and not watch this.
Oh tight the thing about that setup which is not a great one to have your bathroom sink in a comment. It's a whole other story bro but that's a very not quite led just in home design. Right sure sure sure in the bathroom where it fucking belongs. Right but but but what it does and it serves a very good purpose is that nobody with any self respect.
Yeah it's true they think they do that bars for that very reason. Right so that everyone sees you nasty nasty nasty boy you don't wash your hands after you do a boomer. Yeah yeah we're not putting you on the honor system here. Right right so that's yeah that's absolutely no good but let's get out of mover town because we're.
Can I let me just rattle off some things that are bad about movers I'll hit you with. Oh go on go on go on go on. Surprise charges. Surprise charges gang.
Why is my mattress an extra $500 even though I told you I was moving to mattress. Or they love the they love the how far are you from the curb how many steps do I have to go on charge. Oh yeah I was seven steps too high for their taste when they arrived here. Yeah yeah yeah they love that shit.
Oh you're one floor up yeah no problem. Yeah only 12 steps are free 19 steps that's not going to do it for us. Yeah sorry they act like you tried to trick them. Like bro I didn't.
I don't professionally swindling me right now. I wasn't counting the steps when I walked up. They're wack ass insurance policy. I'm getting they broke some stuff obviously 30 cents a pound didn't they break your TV how much of your TV two pounds they broke my fucking TV that I got as a gift.
It was like a 50 inch TV that my dad got me on black Friday. It was pretty heavy but like the math does not equate my friends like. It's not their names in this very not quite lit if you wouldn't mind. Oh yeah.
Just get some shame and stink on their house. Pure rubbish yes really really stinky. Yeah methods of payment are very not quite lit. Oh my god they love to hit you with the cash only on arrival.
Yeah they I ended up going when I moved to Brooklyn they hit with that. Oh no you need $1200 in cash. Oh I'm not a drug dealer actually as it turns out. I don't have $1200 in cash at all.
You know what I ended up settling with on them with that fucking PayPal. Oh my god PayPal. God y'all can't just invest in a little credit card swiper. Unbelievable.
No because it would cost them 250 a transaction and that they could never. Oh my blood is boiling right now. I know when I gave when I paid my worst Amazon or any moving company. Disney Amazon and any moving company that any of the worst parts of our country.
Too bit moving company. So it's infuriating. So they had my stuff for 40 calendar days. It's truly bananas how long years took.
And you at least at least they had a kind of excuse right because you moved. Yeah I want to talk about time I put a little category there at the bottom. This is best times to move. Let me give you a very not quite lit.
I'm wondering the most historic snowstorm in the history of Texas. Yeah and I've previously mentioned that I once moved in Brooklyn on the hottest day of the summer. Also probably yeah. Yes.
Yeah getting trapped in Texas for four straight days in hotels that don't have power in a snowstorm is very not quite lit. It turns out. Yeah not a great not a great move on your part. But the trick of them is they use they probably were salivating when they saw that that storm was there.
They're like we got so much extra time now gang because turns out they didn't even they were like yeah it's delayed but they hadn't left after the storm had ended in Texas. Right. They had left California. So they could have been on the road for sure.
Yeah yeah yeah. I mean that's what's so wild about movers and we got it we got it we got to get out of this hole because we're just going to. It's fresh bro it's a fresh win. I know it's the wound is so fresh.
I did write them a three page letter that I include because also they made me physically mail my insurance claim. Obviously I'm going to get the dollar and 30 cents back that they owe me. I'm going to fucking go. Oh my god you did it.
Wow you dog. I mailed it in the mail and I included a three page letter not a joke of every single thing that they did wrong and I said and I fucking I don't know who this guy is but I've never left a Yelp review in my life but I said I expect to hear from someone to figure out how we're going to make this right or I will be blasting you on Yelp Google and Twitter. Wow yeah yeah yeah yeah. This guy source of power bro writing a letter.
Yeah it's I mean and that's good you got it out there you they're going to take that and they're going to wipe their ass with it after they take a shit somebody else's bathroom but it is it is something and I respect it. I don't think in a million years they thought I would file that claim. No they don't think anyone's going to file those claims that's why it's 30 cents a fucking pound. And then there's also wait oh my god but the reason they do that what's what's so weird is the system is they wait until the trucks are full so because they don't want to waste gas money taking just waboos one bedroom across the country they want to get you know all their friends and all that bunch of other people whatever okay great so that's your system okay don't tell me 20 days you know don't tell me yeah just say a month yeah give me give me that way I'm not like I don't buy one small package of paper plates and go this will be good stuff will be here in two weeks exactly and then you're sitting there eating out of your hands like a fucking freak is a way or I would have bought furniture sooner I was sleeping on a goddamn futon I wouldn't have I wouldn't have shit my mattress.
Truly you know I'm true to yeah truly a lot of stuff would have been done differently you sit down on it and the person was launching into the air it was like a circus but that does sound fun though we have to get out of this kind of work okay yeah absolutely um we okay so we've talked about this but I do want to touch on it you you enjoy unpacking more than packing yes it's easier I don't like hard work it's not easier it's easier what are you kidding me oh I mean are you just are you like a little packing monster when you just toss any of all things into a box no no no I like to I like the challenge of a little Tetris of course you got a Tetris and you have a good room you know what fucking sucks about unpacking brother we're not even talking about you unpack what do you have now a bunch of fucking trash these rat rat ass cardboard boxes that were in the dusty ass truck it is true however we got a little benefit going here we got a sick fucking trash compactor on the premises oh that's all you can just toss as many fucking cardboard boxes in there as you want and it's jump change I'm putting leftover boxes is it I mean that's gonna be a one it's a one it's so bad it's so bad we don't have because I don't live in apartment really more we don't have a trash compactor or trash room or even a dumpster so I had to fucking we had to take our boxes to the dump like I'm fucking 50 years old or something bro the dump imagine where even is the dump dude you don't want to know you don't want to know nothing I'm not ever going to the dump I could tell you that much right now yeah well you got them soft college hands you you'd never know a fucking dump of a kitchen they had eaten you live at the dump but you never knew a dump what we mean you never knew what the fuck business did you have a dump dump and shit I don't know my I just did I get the dump loads of time went to the dump of that part of moving is it it's it is I think I'm questioning packing so you don't like the tech can I put Tetris at a two for packing because I do kind of enjoy that yeah but like yeah I enjoy it but here's the double-edged sword with that it's the best when you're dealing with books right yes yes and those boxes are too heavy well that's because you fuck up mistake of filling an entire box with books and then yeah dude when I was fucking like 14 never again you gotta be smart now like five or six different box yes dude yes you gotta be smart you're like packing your fucking idiot oh my god you ever get to that last box are you the last bug I look me in the eye and tell me that your last box is as perfect as your first box the last the last box or like even maybe the last like two or five oh my god or it's like or it's like somehow you fit a lamp into a box and you're like well nothing else is just a little junk there's like three pairs of socks let's try myself with this last box especially because our shit didn't show up for a month I was looking for like a bunch of cables the whole time I was unpacking and finally got to the last box and there I saw a trash a box of trash bags opened it wrong not a box of trash bags an empty box full filled with every cable I've been looking I put them all inside a little cardboard box yeah your cable box in my mind I was like yeah obviously yeah not just a bunch of like loose things from your desk in a ziplock bag oh yeah that's it is bad it is bad the box the box with your desk shit we're just like pens and like an enamel pin that was loose in a drawer and like your fucking fidget spinner for some reason here's a maniac should I did I moved my spices yeah that's weird I think it's illegal to I don't think you care on that you know not the most illegal thing that I packed and I'm moving truck my dude oh packing I mean acquiring materials is very not quite lit right oh yeah it's not as bad to me as having the trash afterwards but like having to go to like Home Depot or like oh my god you're you're removed when you were so ding dang poor that you were just like at stores like hey you got any boxes left over of course that's called that sucks dude and then you have all these I got a very quiet look for you in packing it's the gun you gotta get the packing take gun do you know oh sure packing tape with your hands yeah caveman no you're you're not wrong about that yeah I hated to like because like you get some boxes from Trader Joe's they don't have lids because they're like produce boxes and they're all wonky sizes and you just got fired yeah it does it looks like you're coming up with 35 of them for some reason I'll give you another very not quite late and we've talked about it before you know I you know I dearly love my frames all of my many framed goods and they I spend so much time and money on my on my very special frames but fuck me running it sucks to move 25 large like fucking like concert posters y'know framed what a nightmare they stuck them all in one box for me and just through some that little nasty ass blanket all over it somehow they didn't get crack yeah they I got I got too many for just one box but we had like four boxes of four of those like those big long flat boxes I still last thing that's not unpacked I just realized because I'm looking at it right now is our mirror I haven't even actually looked fuck me how dumb am I I already filed a claim you're so stupid and the mirror is actually heavy if it's cracked I'm gonna lose my fucking mind actually not look at the mirror can you do it right now please on air no I cannot bring myself I'm gonna lose my look at it you gotta look at it you gotta look at it come on tools to open it for the viewer dude for the listener come on I will freak out I can't I can't I cannot you got it come on my god I gotta go get some tools I'll keep them busy while you get some tools filed a claim that I didn't check the China or the crystal or the mirror because you go trash blind after a minute there's so much trash you can see which trash is which it's true while they're talking about trash blind which is why I hate unpacking you end up with these piles of fucking garbage it's like tape and fucking bubble wrap and shit everywhere sucks dude so you're gonna dump stupid it's a double chore because while there's gonna have to edit out all of this dead time where I did we had a couple of those obsidazies oh we got an intact mirror look at that all I solve now is that it's now open and exposed good for you look at you you're halfway to unpacking your last box you're welcome I guess you're welcome is what I mean to say damn that was like some good audio just now yeah dude so location we can agree that moving across the country sucks shit it's the worst option right well probably to another country I was gonna say international because you're flying dude but if it took 20 days to get from California drive it you know what I'm saying they're flying yourself oh yeah I mean it's just gonna cost a pergillion dollars but sure international but we got a billion doesn't matter yeah if you're moving international I suppose you ain't got a worry of it sucks I hate to keep doing this but like another fucking example of how tight it is to be rich yeah of course of course because you just pay moving is nothing to you if you become rich yeah yeah yeah you pay for the best movers you buy mostly new shit anyways like that's what like that you have it in waiting you have your entire place set up and waiting for you arrive yeah that would have been the absolute tits is like we ship our like three boxes of personal effects and we just fucking buy everything else new so we don't ship like a 30 pound mixer and like a like 65 plates and cups and glasses like I was buying that shit new what am I doing yup yeah let's go through let's go for packing I'd like to go through the rooms so like kitchen pain in the ass it's pain the ass quite lit but but a lot of kitchen stuff designed to fit together you know I mean like if you got matching plates like all the plates squoosh together so that's I think that kitchen is a two in my opinion yeah that's fine enough I guess but it's still the most breakable and you gotta like ball wrap the ship so I'm not that side to that well we can put it as a one if you want I will also say that packing things like pots like a suck shit they don't fit well I don't I think this is a one all right kitchen is a one I think bedroom gotta be three right because it's not it's just closed and like I guess I mean tough packing your own bed that's tough because bed mattress suck yeah match okay so bedroom gotta be two yeah bathroom probably pretty easy overall right I think yeah I think the bathroom is a is a three to me because like even if you're someone who has a lot of bathroom stuff how much fucking bathroom stuff it's still like what one box yeah I mean you have like one box at most for a bathroom I mean for me I it's like I have shampoo and two paste correct it's like a bag basically in a different box but even if you're somebody who has like a hairdryer and shit like still one box is fine easy living room is a one because that's where all your shit is yeah I guess so you got all the all the dumb shit in there I was gonna say it too because I feel like there's lots of that's where your books and like if you have DVDs and shit are books bro you like packing books well they're just easy like fucking sadist well sorry that you made these to the dumb impact books and live your own weird life and leave me out of it so are we saying that very pretty good is expensive movers because it's a pay for him but they do the job I think the issue we're having is that we entrusted some people with our shit to have it overnight I think if it was like oh I'm moving from LA to San Diego see in four hours or whatever the fuck right it would have been not so bad but yeah interesting them with my things overnight or over forty nights is a big not for me dog across city is like a very pretty good yeah yeah we have outside factors I where do we put like renting a u-hall how do you feel about that you all is a three I think it's a little fun to drive isn't it and it's and it's big as hell so and you can fucking you can you gotta flip a little paper but like come on they're like they're gonna know if you scratch that shit you could drive it off a fucking bridge they're not gonna know yeah yeah yeah you absolutely you absolutely good and pretty pretty affordable yes yeah boxes there they got everything you need okay all right you all call today boy I my only problem with you all is that my most recent experience with them I made an appointment and then still had to wait in line for like two hours because they were like this the line for appointments and again this was the aforementioned hottest day of the summer did you accidentally go to the DMV or what nah dog I was at the dang you all and it sucked but it was great because it was a guy in line in front of us who was wearing that you know the people that move where that like back brace thing this dude was wearing it with no shirt again it was like seven thirty in the morning he was ready to be walking party and then he gets to the front of the line and he's like what do you mean you don't have any trucks and she was like you don't have an appointment and he was like oh does everyone here have appointments and turned around like he was gonna rally the troops it was like hey just so everybody knows you need an appointment everyone's like there will be a day when appointments matter but it is not this day oh god damn can I give you a very quiet lit outside factor please moving not at the beginning or end of the month okay sure so this is this is inspired by this u-haul situation sometimes you really and especially like in a big city like like New York or whatever on like the first and the thirtieth everything fuck all the u-hauls are rented up all the streets are crowded with fucking you like I drove our u-haul around like nine other u-hauls unloading in the street I just feel like moving not at the peak move time is so much fucking better yeah and especially if you like you don't have to land and then be like will down to play around right right that's yeah that's the other beautiful thing so yeah that's tight also like I feel like we don't need to say this but very not quite like outside factors is moving against your will yep right like if you're getting evicted or some shit yeah that's no good okay let's talk a little bit about not the mover meaning like you're helping your friend move you're a little something I will always help people move I like to have that as a favor to cash in I will help out the boxes all day but if I get to your place and your shit is not packed up I'm going to probably throw it out the window and definitely turn around myself and leave which I have done before in my life that is it's wild that you've landed your friend but it's more wild that your friend and bandon I said I'll come back when this is packed I also said probably three times before this because I knew that this person would not listen I was like you better have that shit packed man isn't it the worst isn't it the worst when you have friends and you love them because they're your friends that are just that type of person that you you know when they ask you something like yeah can you help me move you're like yes bro but I know you specifically will not be ready to move when I show up that sucks but I mean it's key you know your friends you love them they come with their flaws but that is fucking rubbish here's what I expect everything packed and lunch yeah I won't you must I you have to buy your people that are helping you move lunch I I I like a fancy boy lunch yes pizza pizza just get us some pizza yeah grab some tacos grab some fast food doesn't matter yep I even gave my crew a because it was the hottest day of the summer I gave my crew a union water break everyone looked like they were about to keel over and die so I went to the whistle break time to the steam whistle I went to the boat diggin bought like 60 Gatorades was like a real one top of a fucking guy no oh yeah you have to provide worder and you also I would say it's it's not mandatory but it's highly recommended have a six pack for the end of the day when we're all done yeah so we can all sit down and have a beer yeah I we didn't do that because I think we just walked to a bar afterwards and we bought for years also but it also works yeah it was like you have to you have to understand and and I still get that favor you you your pizza and beer is not does not remove this these cookie points that I earned for later oh no no no no no no it's addition to it's an addition to you ever I do like to move and see because I definitely have the same stuff for sure but you're I like to move my friend stuff and see the kind of wax shit that they think is important enough to move I also enjoy when you're helping friends move and I enjoy not having to think at all about where anything goes you get to either if no one's near you you put that where the fuck you want or you go where's this go and then they have to decide yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and like I don't even really ask I just like dump I'm like I'll ask but don't tell me anything beyond a room oh I get to the front door and I toss the shit inside it's for sure it's getting heaved you forget the assembly line going bro I love don't talk to you I love it so good and efficient isn't it I love it it's so fucking yeah I'm gonna slide this to the door you're gonna take it to the base of the stairs home he's gonna pick it up he's gonna load into the truck you're gonna come back up the stairs another box and be waiting let's fucking go I like to get up into the back yeah it's when you when you're really stuff and it's all then you get to crawl over yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah fun as shit huh again especially when it's not your stuff because then it's like I'm not a mystery I'm saying I don't step on where the fuck I want right crunching the move not me yeah yeah I'll tell you what I hate it's a it's a very not quite late of the situation when you're not the mover a friend of your friend so specifically someone you don't really know or is like a sort of a just an acquaintance oh they're trying to show you up no no no I'll take a show up a fucking lazy bomb is what I don't want I honestly believe it or not have not really dabbled in this I feel like people usually assemble the good group because you don't ask people right you would know who you're asking yeah I we I recently moved someone not recently but one of the last time I moved someone there was a nursing an injury guy don't come yeah just don't show honestly don't show up just don't it's like you know so crazy like last night I really like I just oh my god yeah he was like I'll watch the truck but then couldn't like load stuff into the truck don't come so like you're just you're volunteering to stay in bro I don't need you there that's nothing you're slowing us down that's like I'm I'll be the that's during a group project like I'll be the supervisor moving your friend is a lot like kind of like a zombie apocalypse you have to assign roles and if you're a drag you're getting left the fuck behind no rolls is no good you got it you have to you need to direct it really I mean it is an experience moving your friends that it really separates like the real ones from the fucking clowns like you know if you're not somebody who can direct your five dumb friends to do the things you need them to do in the way you want to do them just hire movers at that point you don't have the skills it's fine let me give you another very quiet when you're helping someone move one is you volunteer to go pick up lunch because you're off the clock dude you're gonna delivery right now they gotta do shit wait you're saying that's good you're saying that's a good one yeah yeah I say you say give me 20 bucks I'll pick up the tacos yeah I'm gonna take my time you all can fucking put that couch back there I don't give a shit what you do I'm coming back oh it was so busy oh man it was such a long line yeah it was actually closed by their other locations in different county we need some more good stuff for unpacking you know you hate unpacking well see to me I like it because no I like unpacking because you take your time that's such a two to me though like I think that you're gonna you're gonna get the important shit out I just hate the like so it's just like two sides of this coin right for packing here's what I like I like the reminiscing part right and it could take a little bit longer but I do like the like oh look at this I found these fucking this this these photos from disposable camera from college this kind of fun looked through them a little bit hadn't picked them out them a couple years like oh man this is where that fucking that book went I've been looking for this great it was under the bed right you get this little discovery unpacking is the opposite where it's like where the fuck did I put my chargers like you and your stupid fucking cord your cable box I agree with that I don't want to agree with that but I do agree with that okay great I want that but you were agreeing with it so what is it very very not quite right that you need that it's like you can never find what you need when you're unpacking one of the worst parts of unpacking is for example if you arrive with you know your few possessions and your truck is behind you so like we were living that clothing on the floor life is nothing to put anything on or in it sucks but leisure baby leisure in unpacking yes yes take your time we got that you're just renaming take it you found one kind of good thing about unpacking you've really clogged into it and I yeah I just like I cannot stress to you how much I don't enjoy packing like this most recent time packing was a miserable experience yeah a little sentimental you see your place when it's all empty like dang okay yeah I'm gonna put I'm gonna put sentimental into two I'll tell you what an outside factor that you you are experiencing certainly to some extent right now that's a three a fucking upgrade baby mm-hmm you're I'm talking one bedroom to two bedroom I'm talking roommates to no roommates I'm talking about not living with your partner to living with your partner oh yeah we got some upgrades going up in this booth we got a second bedroom we got a second bathroom we got a fucking worcher dream yes baby in unit washer dryer fam I cannot stress enough there's some weird about this place though bro it doesn't make any sense let me explain to you the situation with the bedrooms because it's been driving us out of our freaking minds go on there is two bedrooms two bathrooms yes the one bedroom that has the bathroom in it the bathroom is huge there are two sinks the showers bigger you would assume that this is the master bedroom oh it's one of these where it's a smaller bedroom the smaller bedroom and a smaller walking closet the other room has a much bigger bedroom and a much bigger walking closet however it leads out a hallway to the other bathroom which is a smaller shower and a smaller sink so what do you do what it's great we are doing what we fucking feel in our hearts is right bro which means we're taking the bigger room and the bigger bathroom we're walking across that is insane when guests come it's not gonna be that way but the other shower it's just like I'm using the other one for like brushing my teeth oh my god what you're saying is out of fucking control what's gonna shower in this tiny little shower oh when there's a big cozy one waiting for me but you'll see you're a lunatic we'll see how much different it is it's not like a little difference you cannot that's insane so I'm gonna so what you're telling if I'm waking up in the middle of the night to go bathroom I'm not gonna walk all the way across the fucking house so I'm gonna come stay there and I'm gonna sleep in this bedroom that has a bathroom in it but it'll also be the bathroom that you shower in 99% of the time correct but not when you're there it becomes your bathroom at that this idea absolutely sucks shit it's not a hotel we're gonna be here by ourselves more often than we have guests oh I hate it what would you do you just relegate yourself to this small little bathroom and have the big fancy one just go and use this is the issue that you have in front of you just so the only benefit of the other room is that the room is bigger correct like a lot bigger and it feels a thousand times less claustrophobic I just like straight up claustrophic also the closet door in both rooms opens outwardly are you gonna use the closet in the master bedroom no we're using we're using the closet in our bedroom so but I don't think that this is the master bedroom despite the fact that it has a bigger bathroom how could it be why would someone design a place like this it's driving me out of my mind okay I agree that it's bad design and I'm not going to advocate for it but I am going to significantly smaller closet significantly smaller bedroom that's it doesn't make any sense all right and that's what I want to say first but I will say the deal with me is I think that our bedrooms in our look at these two fucking absolute richy rich boys with their two bedrooms oh my god how far we've come huh I know just we used to I just want you guys to know that we were practically living in squalor before it was literally like low-income housing I have five roommates I just think the I think I just think that you commit to the smaller bedroom because in my thought is I don't spend very much time in my bedroom anyways except for to do my sleep in and for my other advantage and it's it's not as gross as it sounds the the little difference between like having a bathroom right on the other side of the wall from a bed not so ideal a little hallway walk down from the bedroom to the bathroom helps things you're talking about you and your partner doing your big nasty poops yeah in the middle of the night while one sleeps yeah yeah the night poops bro that sounds like you just no no but if if I did I just okay so my thought is that actually I'm it let's take all the bathroom stuff out of it we also realize the two sinks who are we we're gonna sit there and brush no when you were so hyped about his and her sinks and we're so far away from you know I literally turned it to Chelsea and was like he's really excited for these two fucking things I don't get it well I thought wrong the problem with all this shit is it's just more stuff to clean but here's my thought as somebody who newly has a second bedroom my I like the guest bedroom being the bigger room because it's a guess it could possibly be someone interested in what we're saying right now could there it doesn't matter because we're saying it yeah the guest bedroom being bigger is ideal because then you can turn it into an office or fucking playroom or whatever the fuck you want to slash about that but we just like don't care about you so we slept in this tiny one when we got here and even with only the air mattress and nothing else it felt fucking claustrophobic it's like you're gonna see it you're gonna be like this is so sweet what you're saying is lunacy to me I can't it's like hurts my head to think about that I can't take 20 extra steps to go to the shower who gives a shit no they're gonna walk into like a the office bedroom to fucking do your Duke it's just weird to me no I'm not Duke in in there so you just showering in there yeah so it's like it's like we lived in the or you never lived in the poor people dorms but it's like when I lived in the reward and you don't I never walk down the hall with your fucking shower shoes on even a little bit like that we have to get off this oh my god the things I'm going to do that shower when I stay there out of this world I can't wait you'll be sleeping outside there to say about moving unpacking is I'll give the three to unpacking in that it means that the horrible process of moving is done moving is done the that last box that you just opened it's great you're done with the movers you're done with the fucking packing well as a matter of fact it's not great no I got a bunch of cardboard all over the floor but at least that mirrors attack bro nice and exposed now I got fucking hanging up oh we didn't talk about so very quite lit location having an elevator is huge that was the last one guys we had such a good little bit going about how like New York has walk ups yeah and trash on the street stuff you'll have to yeah it'll be it was very funny this one was mostly just I'm talking about exclusive wilder traveling from room to room looking for the perfect shower I got a two for when you're helping somebody move when they only have a little stuff and it's a two because it's obviously better for me because it's easier but part of me is like why did you call me for this like we're gonna spend three hours doing what you could have done it for is that was that worth it to you I mostly moved myself when I moved into the nearby neighborhood no I did one last day where I got you haul just for like my biggest shit and it took like 45 minutes on load the thing I think if you have a little stuff don't call your friend like don't like don't if you like the only thing you call your friends if you have like an immovable piece of furniture don't call me and then ask me to carry three boxes into your car like I just it's useless but I guess it's easy for me let me give you a three outside factor which would have been a three had I not chosen to move in a snowstorm during the global pandemic is like yes road trip theoretically should have been one of the best parts about this cross-country move getting to do our own road trip with the movers on the road yeah I think I think just by virtue of what happened to you and what could happen to anyone it's got to be a two right guess because like even if you don't get caught in a historic snowstorm like maybe there's a flat tire maybe you're like I know that like Chelsea did that when she moved to see the first time and then her car got robbed like there's just a lot of shit right you didn't go to any of the places that we wanted to go and we're trapped in hotels about power so that wasn't yeah so it was a one for you but maybe a two in general yeah I'm unlucky or the most what are some general like fucking cool things about what do you like about moving anything is there anything that's good I mean just the idea of an upgrade really yeah that's about it if you're not upgrading in whether it's physically to the place that you live or it's the location maybe you're moving to a city that you always wanted to move to that's good can't think of a single other thing that is right it's just kind of a crummy process I mean it's if you just want to rearrange the furniture that's a lot easier outside factors and maybe this is a two but getting new stuff you know like how you maybe like don't bring your bed frame because you're just gonna buy a new bed frame or whatever that's all part of upgrading I reckon yeah but it's an upgrade is an upgrade and upgrade is like we had one bedroom now you have to a new bed frame is tough because you're but you do you are buying it when you maybe wouldn't previously sure like we we bought a new couch and it isn't upgraded so much nicer couch but we bought it because it was gonna cost a thousand dollars to move our couch and it was like well we're not gonna that's the fucking dumbest thing it's a thousand like we'll save money by not moving this couch right I have another bad one for movers and it might be a two because it's not really their fault but it's probably one did you get any do you feel any guilt when the movers were doing their biz on in the on the California no because it was only one guy who started off by taking a huge shit in my back yeah yeah also like I help I can't not I helped I know but that's what I'm talking about that was that's the guilt right is like you're yeah you're watching somebody touch all your stuff and you're like I gotta help I gotta help hold on let me get the door like you didn't just pay a bunch of money for them to do it yeah I just made so much money but I'm still I mean when they got here with my stuff I was so elated to finally have my stuff that I moved most of it in yep they were on the truck handing boxes to me I was like give me these fucking boxes and get away from me yeah well these these fucking geniuses arrived and made quite a scene I mean they were they arrived with a fucking I mean it was like at least 18 wheels on this thing it was it was enormous I mean I had to they came into my tiny little parking lot had to reverse backwards the whole way down turn around so they could line up with the door then had to unload a nut like another person right right get to mind yeah well every single person the complex is on their balcony's looking at the fucking scene that's going down here yeah so by that point I was like you know I'm figuring myself get fucked we had a not as bad but we had a similar situation mask list mind you we were on like kind of a main road in Alameda but it's still one lane each way and these dudes just fucking parked the truck block of lane put on the hazards and there was just traffic on the entire island basically I wish I could care as little as a mover oh my god they don't give a fuck I mean we didn't even talk about my mover kept every time I called him and was like where are you he'd be like yeah we're in Colorado just make sure you got some food for us I'm just kidding but kept saying that and when he got here he was like man I'm really hungry and then kept saying man I'm really hungry and I was like okay well it sounds like this dude instead of a tip once some food so sure what kind of pizza you want dude and then I ordered him some vegetarian pizza because that's what he wanted and then he finished moving and I was like well pizza 20 minutes away my own mind you got played what do you want to do and he was like no I'm good and I was like okay I guess I'll eat this bad pizza thank you very much for this some kind of play yeah I know well I mean I whatever Pete I'll eat that pizza I mean I did eat it but yeah it was nothing I ever wanted to do anything for these people shoot me out of my shoes I don't know what else to say moving sucks so does everything it's bad oh not the mover I got a bad one that's it's something that neither of us it actually affects us but it is a bad one owning a truck from what I hear is the worst because then everybody call you even if you're only kind of friends oh yeah that's that's a good call or even just a big vehicle I guess if you had like a big SUV but really yeah if you have a truck keep it secret keep it safe don't let anyone know I also don't blame the people that call you like why do you have that truck if not to be my little servant boy and take all my garbage literally why did you get it yeah for real you get all that back as much you're not gonna help me put my fridge in there yeah right bro I got nothing else yeah and you know what we're just under an hour and that includes 20 minutes of you opening a box it includes 15 minutes of us in short talking about rusty gang it was a bad energy we're rusty we're angry about moving we lost 15 minutes of gold and material we did I can't stress enough that we did we did come out of the gate in that first recording pretty warm I wouldn't say hot but like we were we were a little bit we get that second chance it was we were coming out of the Arctic it was yeah let me hit you with some thank you yes leaving the way whoa la California nice working also leaving the way Bay Area little Sacramento little San Francisco got some of I assume McGrath's fucking family out in Salt Lake Citae the Klan yeah nice I want to give a shot to some newcomers the fine people of St Pete in Florida baby St Pete that's a cool place you eat very tight yeah yeah a little Cincinnati Ohio in the books and of course the big nasty ex always the X H X I also want to give a shout out to mr Zeke who said my life is so much better guided so funny once I started listening I immediately dished all of the podcasts mostly to their lack of guidance and utter lack of rubrics J&W keep them coming you dangerous boys shout out to you Zeke yeah thank you thank you for sticking with us Zeke because you said keep him coming and that was in what was that February yeah tight and so we didn't quite do that but now we're back we're back and while they're committed to putting out at least one episode a week I certainly did not we might have a couple double episode weeks for you some double features double features double feet yeah baby it's about one to tea not quality big shout out to Adam fate for the art I can't remember these yeah how to pay for the fart Adam fate of the art bad talk for the music wow it's been a long time shout out to you listener and all our very good friends shout out to Wilder for fucking up the schedule by moving mm-hmm yeah and shout out to Krispy cream you get a free one if you get a sure you're vaccine oh we get back go get a Krispy cream today yeah I guess like we that's a quick a quick tight shout out to get a vaccine get a fucking vaccine dudes you want your life guy did yeah I got a perfect three out of three for you yeah get your fucking vaccine as soon as you can mm-hmm that's it some folks you can't get it yet because you're state or your city whatever yeah fine but when you can lock it in baby because I got one and I'm so strong yeah if for no other reason you get a free dang Krispy cream so tight alright