My Cats Are Fat

This is episode 71 of the WET Podcast.WET LIVE TICKETSFriday, May 30, 7:30 PMhttps://www.sunsetstripatx.com/?event-id=109542TEJAS TONICSupport us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!https://www.tejastonic.com/SUNSET TICKETShttps://sunsetstripatx.com/THE WET COMMANDMENTS1) No Austin comedy2) We don't hate women2c) Don't say c*nt3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive4) Be funny5) Have fun (respectfully)_________________________00:00:00 - Bureaucracy00:03:06 - Phillip’s Birthday Recap00:03:30 - 4 Years in Austin has Aged Us00:06:39 - Su*cide Ultimatums00:08:27 - Falling Asleep/Sneezing While Driving00:09:38 - Justin’s Fat Cats Keep Vomiting00:12:22 - Actually Recapping Phil’s B-Day00:13:03 - The Ojos Locos Incident00:19:49 - The Celiac Incident00:24:50 - We Love Women!00:25:54 - How Phillip Serves People00:26:21 - Markus’s Worst BBQ Customers00:26:54 - Justin Breaks Down Restaurant Health Code00:28:03 - Phil’s Phinancial Advice00:29:01 - Justin Forgot it Tax Day00:30:12 - The WET Boys Adjust Their Thermostats (Remotely)00:30:31 - Uncle Sam is the Worst Uncle00:31:27 - Recycling Cat Throw-Up00:32:39 - Justin’s Fat Cats are Shipping Up to Ohio00:33:41 - Markus Offends Justin and his Fat Cats00:35:32 - Rule #3 Invoked (Say Something Positive)00:37:30 - Why Justin and Markus Always Fight00:41:48 - The World is Out to Get Justin00:42:55 - Toll Roads are a (Chinese) Scam00:45:22 - Trucks are Awesome!00:46:42 - Justin’s Cats are Gaslighting Him00:47:05 - Explaining Mecca/Islam to Justin00:49:07 - Markus Watched the Da Vinci Code00:50:23 - Handmaid's Tale: Explained00:54:49 - The Dire Wolf Returns00:55:43 - We’re All Gonna Die00:56:11 - Markus Diagnosed as Gay00:57:15 - Markus Got a New Dino!01:01:30 - Markus liest die deutschen Anleitungen01:01:56 - It's a Slip and Slide Summer01:02:37 - More Cat Vomit01:02:57 - Markus Curling Bottles of Liquor01:04:59 - Phillip’s Cat is a Menace01:05:35 - Soul was a Great Movie01:06:03 - The WET Boys Reflect on their Careers01:08:55 - Phillip Dresses for the Days Off He Wants01:09:28 - Edibles and P*ss Bottles01:10:29 - Watching Justin’s Serving Stories Come to Life01:14:53 - Austin Mushroom Convention01:16:37 - When the Accent Matches the Order01:18:05 - Stories from Black Rooms01:21:15 - Austin is Missing True CULTURE01:23:06 - Old Austin People Rule01:25:06 - The Mushroom Chronicles01:29:16 - Justin’s Best Set was on Molly01:30:44 - Markus Describes Sobriety on Stage_________________________Follow the show:https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcastJustin:https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustinhttps://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacherMarkus:https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/Phillip:https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedyProduction:Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass