NCAA title game woes, saying goodbye to Undertaker

What has four thumbs, is smarter than your average bear, and believes in the Mandela Effect? If you guessed the Relatively Speaking Podcast, then you are likely the greatest human being currently walking on the planet. This special post-NCAA title game show is a straight flame emoji on top of an ice cream emoji that is beside a 100 emoji. It is, seriously, that good. The show begins with Jared wishing Joseph a belated birthday, and the latter discussing how much closer to death he is. After the sadness, however, it is NCAA Tournament title game talk! Both of the hosts agree that the game was uglier than your really ugly friend. Teams shooting below 36 percent from three, foul troubles all over, and a flow to the game was never found. But it was a close game... so yay? Georgetown hired Patrick Ewing. Joseph and Jared have reasons for optimism, but also for concern. The dastardly duo discuss. Did you know that The Undertaker is a dead person? Well, he is -- at least in the world of wrestling. Despite being a reanimated corpse, this man from the afterlife somehow aged, decomposed and is no longer able to put on quality wrestling matches. Jared and Joseph say their goodbyes to the Deadman. Absurd Questions are patently absurd this week. For real. We, basically, find out that Joseph wants to be a vampire because he believes it will inch him closer to landing a date with Christina Ricci. What a complete and total loser.