Hey, all you crackers and all you hackers welcome to another episode of Jesse Wilders guide the life I'm Jesse that's Wilder and we're here to guide your life I mean, it's the title and you've clicked on it. So you know what we're here for yeah They want it and we're gonna give it to them. They need it. Yeah Dude It's always we're talking why do an intro when you don't when you when do I have a I do I have a little intro if you want I love to I just my my dearest is out of town So I'm home alone like Kevin McAllister and so if you feel like a particularly sort of Powerful sort of male energy.
That's just me and my dog hell. Yeah, we'll be in dudes in this hat just dude in the house up Dude, I think we're gonna like we might hit a jigsaw puzzle after this. Yeah, just getting gray I'm glad you're doing you got a lot of male energy. It's what you're bringing because that's the one thing this podcast does not need more of Mmm.
Yeah, I know that when people listen to our podcast. They're like wow palpable masculinity from these two easy Hey, bro. Why don't you get the $2 million jigsaw puzzle? That's exactly what I have isn't it?
Oh, you're doing it Yeah, I'm doing it. I already got it. I'm gonna crank it if you win more than a dollar I'm obviously gonna be pissed. What's the second lowest like how mad would you be is it like 10 guys?
There's a puzzle I did it for work. It took me weeks. It's all I could think about I was seeing in jigsaw pieces I was dreaming about jigsaw pieces the next one is a hundred bucks and two thousand puzzles got that one Oh my god. Yeah, if I want a hundred dude, you'd never hear the end I get a fucking tap I get that key off course you know what those little bastards did to you after they gave me my dollar Which was a check amazing they offered me a discount code for another one.
That's honestly sick as fuck though That's crazy and also where were you in covid you idiots? Yeah, that's a fact this puzzle It's a puzzle where you can win it's a QR code you scan it You might win a million dollars probably won't two puzzles have a million dollars thus the two million dollar puzzle It's not a puzzle where you can win two million dollars. It's very confusing. It's also it's good It's crazy that they didn't team up with the Wonka movie That's releasing this season this holiday season because it is a little bit of a Wonka vibe going to write yeah But everyone that plays will die.
Well only if you don't follow the rules dude true Yeah, anyways now the intro now. Hey now. I'm closing the door and the intro is done good job. Good job everyone Yeah, those wonka those wonka kids were kind of all something to each other on that trip weren't they?
Oh boy They're kind of each other's neighbors. Well for that whole experience when you say yeah, dude nice nice transition sick. Thank you Thank you. That was pro-fessional talk about names dude.
Yeah, we're talking about names and we're not talking about the 2014 movie neighbors with starring I think Zac de Fron and Seth Rogen that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about your yeah as much as I'd like to it's a decent flick But yeah, we're talking about real-life neighbors. I have a category to start us off and I think location Sure, and I think what are we let's just go let's start with it cuz I think we're gonna probably talk apartment and house neighbors I think that's probably it's gonna be that is it the two that way bro. I mean an apartment It's kind of like an apartment, but a dorm is an apartment.
Yeah, yeah, yeah for sure And I think that's gonna get factored in as well But let's just deal with it. Let's let's strict with the the compass rose of apartment neighbors You've got your upstairs neighbor your downstairs neighbor And then your side-to-side neighbors where there are we and you've also got across the hall neighbors and across the hall neighbors Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
So across the hall to me is probably you're very quite lit, right? Yes, the least in your face and that goes for across the street Yes, yes, yes, yes, and like across we're working from the baseline. I mean I guess I like having Neighbors, right? Like I don't want them to be like in my biz, but I don't want to live on like a secluded farm I guess like I need I need someone somewhere, you know Yeah, I guess I don't know like what isn't it wouldn't be better if they weren't anywhere though But you want to live in like a like a mountain like a some kind of secluded like a farm or something No, I don't want to live on a farm.
I heard your hailbili asked what's the live on a farm? Is that true? I do not want to live on a fucking farm. I guess I guess Like why can't I just have the whole city block to myself is what my question interesting.
Yeah, I suppose that is ideal I mean I do love a neighbor. We're gonna put I still live in a normal sized house Yeah, but it's the whole yeah, but it's the block you've got the whole block Um, I think uh you sharing a wall with a neighbor. That's probably the worst to me right? Very not quite lit I hate the next for sure in an apartment.
Oh how awful is it when you can hear your shit even when you live next door in a house? I mean, yeah, that's no good for sure Um, we have a little bit of that like our our neighbor's house is pretty close to ours and it's like I hear it when they shut their back door, you know, if I'm in the office, I hear it sure Oh, I got a very not I got a very quiet lit sucks. Yeah No neighbors like as in like you live in an apartment, but like it's yet to be occupied where people are out of town I agree with you. I will say we our Next-run neighbors um sold their house and it was like or they were selling their house rather and it was vacant for I don't know like three months There were your freak-ass neighbor got up to a lot of shit.
Yeah, I mean, that's a different one That's a different one the oh the other ones because we got some on the either side These ones like they were cool and it was nice like if they and this goes somewhere But like if we had like a package on our doorstep and we need our muscles home We could like text them and be like yo, do you mind tossing this over our fence or like holding on to it? Sure, whatever so like no neighbors. I agree. It's very quite lit, but there is value I want to do establish a baseline of like value for neighbors.
Um, there's value. It's minimal. Well, you what you borrow a cup of sugar No, that's fucking bananas dude. Can you imagine living I can't like we're so far away from whenever that was the norm I cannot imagine being like can I borrow a loose dry ingredient, please?
No, you cannot have my sugar. I bought my sugar It's okay. Like okay, let's speak. Let's speak.
Honestly, your neighbor knocks on the door And they say oh my god, you'll never believe this. I'm making cookies and I forgot the sugar Which like you're a fucking moron. Oh, dude, that's the first thing you've got one of the four ingredients type and they say can I borrow a cup sugar? You know you have sugar in the cupboard What are you doing?
Are you lying and saying no? Like I'm gonna say yes and I'm gonna get it for them first of all. Yeah, you wait right there. I'll be happy to get you Are you did they bring me a fucking utensil or am I expected to carry the sugar into their?
Isn't that the worst? Yeah, what are you I mean? I assume they come over with a measuring cup Oh my god, and then they have to like Do like no, I'm gonna fucking measure that out and I'm gonna be a goddamn trunchball about it I don't just smooth it all the way across the top make sure there's not a single grain out of ice exactly one cup No, I love the idea of them having to then walk back to theirs like almost like it's the uh, what do they call that the egg race at like a company picnic Where you've got this the age of the spoon where they don't want to spill any of it And so they have to like unlock their door with while bouncing on a tablespoon of vanilla sugar I have to tell you I think I would give them the bag would be my I would I would give them the bag and that would be Yeah, and say you bring this back. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I would I'm going to make sure this never happens again I'm gonna say oh they for keeps yes.
I'm gonna say oh, you know what I gotta go to the grocery store this week anyways You take it and keep it no no no no wait. I don't I really truly I don't want it back Um, you could just you could take it that's totally fine and then they'll never fucking ask me again one way or another this we've yeah, you know Pretty good. Honestly, I get I'll give you that one. That's that seems foolproof to me It's like it's like kind of passive aggressive, but I don't care they're getting what they came from no, that's cool because fuck You can't have my food Imagine you were walking up with like some wing-stomp and they're like, oh, let me get a fry They got those those rice cold yet or what let me get one.
Yeah, I'm gonna knock on their door I'm like, yeah, I was wondering could I borrow like a bite of whatever you're having for dinner? Love I would love to float up to their windows. So like a fucking cartoon character. Oh, let's build good.
Let me get some meatballs Daddy likey make me a plate. I'm coming in Upstairs neighbors is it too? I think yeah, I'm locked in combat with my upstairs neighbor. Oh, yeah, tell them go tell them Gang, I'll get to the point.
We got this upstairs neighbor. He sucks. He's got two little dogs We found out they've been pissing on our goddamn deck Uh, that's so gross. You might be wondering or thinking Facts it happened a bunch of times there was leaking through our patio We told the building they were like we're not allowed to seal the patio up fully because of the structural integrity or some made-up thing That they told us so we told this dude.
Hey dude. Get your dog is not pissing on our fucking patio They ruined our goddamn chairs And he was like He said he would stop the building charged him. We bought new cushions. I set up little traps, bro You know I'm setting up traps.
Yeah, of course dude a little Kevin McAllister of your own dude I like it Oh, huh I put the chairs back out and I taped a bunch of computer paper to him to see if there's any fresh stainage Guess what I found today fucking fresh little piss drops dude. Oh my god, dude That sucks. Obviously, this isn't a merit like dog piss neighbor is so here's here's what sucks about this We told the building originally not in an attempt to tackle on him But to be like hey, can you all seal up the fucking patio? And when they said no, it became his problem and they said that if it continues they will have to remove the dogs Which means remove him obviously like he's not just gonna be like all right by just come kill the dogs when he's not there Yeah, just let them sell it.
I don't want to get him like fucking kicked out of his apartment But I'll tell you what we're leaving a note that says if it happens again, we're tattling on you and you're out Oh my god, dude a note. Oh, I hate it. Oh, I know what am I supposed to do? I know I got no better solutions fucking evicted that sucks No, I got no better solutions for you because that does suck you don't want to get somebody evicted You don't want to get somebody give their fucking dogs away or whatever Like so insane if you chose to give the dogs away rather than move Oh, man.
I feel like you're missing and that would be wild Well, if they can't piss here, they got a piss somewhere else and I'm not moving I bro if he gets moved to another apartment. I gotta like see him around the complex Oh, wait a minute Don't move this crazy because your apartment complex would be like whatever. Hopefully we'll get somebody that doesn't mind the piss piss Like that's that can't happen, right? Is there any like bottom floor?
You know, okay There are bottom floors like I wonder if he moved maybe he would get another spot in this complex and then what if I see him Like this is dude. I would have to die. Honestly. No, that's that's fine to me Like because that is a very incredibly just punishment and he should have to fucking pay more also by the way that bottom floor apartment It should be a hundred dollars more a month because you can't it's like I'm just telling you I cannot stand when people do shit like this first of all it sucks for you guys, but also his dogs don't want that dude It's so gross.
He's got them little pissy pads up there Yeah, a pissy pad is such a no and I get it dude Like you guys live in an area that gets very cold like you don't want to do it over the winter But first of all it sounds like it's happening all the time second of all get over it like it happened in the summer Now we're afraid to use our dang patio you got a dog fuck face the dog needs to do shit other than like I don't know what to tell you Two of them shits we had a little freak ass french bulldogs We had like a side yard at our old apartment that was like that's very small It just like barely fit like a little cafe table that we would sometimes sit out there and like have coffee or whatever And we wouldn't even let our dog pee out there because we didn't want that area where we spent time to smell like this piss Like we would walk him out to the sidewalk like just be a fucking grown up I don't know what to tell you yeah throw it on up and his fucking decor might I add looks like shit dude Dude's house were you in brothers home? No, and look I talked about this all night But this is a good thing to transition to something that I'd like to talk about which is When you live in an apartment Let's talk about the hunger bro to know what people decorated their apartment I know dude, okay, so okay We don't think some categories because I don't I'm having a lot of stuff to say and I don't know where to put it What about like there just put their apartment? Oh my god as a category. I can't this can't be right now Let me hold on I got some for you very not quite lit It's nicer than yours like they've decorated it better.
Oh boy Okay, um, yeah I want it to look like shit obviously when it looks like shit very quite lit. No no no no I don't want it to look like absolute shit because I don't want it to like like if I moved into an apartment And then the very or house for that matter and then like a week later. I caught a little fleeting I do there's such a thrill that might be a bonus point catching that fleeting glimpse as they like come in and they're holding the door open to like grab a Vagabroty I know you get like that just like three seconds of thing and if if they live like little filth lords like I look in and it's got the classic dude like let me Think about the coffee tables that were in the houses that we went to when we were in college like covered in beer cans probably A bone or a pipe or a okay. Hold on.
I don't mean dirty right I mean like I want them to have decorated like shit and I want their furniture to look like shit I want my I want to be like oh my god. My place is so much fine. I agree like we use the space so much better Yeah, yeah, I agree with that 100% But you don't want it to be dirt building our complex is like a bunch of buildings that go up a mountain and you can see in To pretty much every I mean there's windows visible for every apartment So if people's blinds are open you can catch a glimpse right in there, baby I do miss that a little bit about apartment. Oh, it's thrilling brother Yeah, interactions dude spying on them.
It's like I love it. I can't get enough I gotta know the private lives of my neighbors, but I do like to know I got like we man I got it sucks cuz like the way that my setup is currently like I basically talk Directly into a window that leads to my neighbor sounds so I really got to keep it down. Oh nice. Yeah, um, but I agree We have like a home security system and so I have this is like a whole different I don't know where this goes dude We have a camera in our dry our like shared sort of like driveway thing between our two houses like they're like I can like throw rock for my back door.
I hit their back door, right? So any any time a day like if I like today, I was on my lunch break and I was expecting packages And I saw my little alert driveway camera. Let me check this out. It's my neighbor Yeah, for sure.
There's sure one of them over there rides his bike every day somewhere, but he they said he's a student There's no he's a college student. There's no university within bike right? Like dude Isn't it? No, I was on what goes on in the neighbor's lives, baby I gotta know yeah, I think inventing a little inventing a little story about them as a bonus And there's like so many fucking people in our complex.
I think a lot of them work from home So they're just everywhere I have a new category characters and I think that there's like the I want to talk some like neighbor Arc types Sure. I live next door to my property manager for six years We were in different buildings technically, but we did share a wall like her bedroom wall She was against my closet wall obviously property manager slash narc is no good My like my like sophomore year of college when I was in the village Uh our neighbor or like our our ra was I think the two doors down So we didn't share a wall, but it was like right there one time I had I was sick and I was coughing all night and my property manager texted me your bong choking has waken me up Oh my god bong choking what that is the most gnarck shit. I've ever I was like are you fucking joking my ass? Bong choking son.
I don't know the fucking bong. I know I live in this house with four roommates But I still own a bong oh man also for roommate like god damn dude You should have said I thought that I mean roommates are kind of like neighbors kind of but sure isn't when you're an adult Yeah, but not really right because you're not you don't share a bath with your neighbors, you know I do not share a bath with my neighbors. Thank god. Um another character dude the nosy neighbor dude That's oh yeah, I've never really had one.
I think it's I've only seen him on television I think I have a it's definitely a one but I think I could make the case for it too because I do love and this is like maybe it's own thing too Man sometimes there is a certain little thrill in having a very small not a major But a small villain that lives in your life, you know So somebody who's nosy like one of our neighbors and god damn dude I have a lot of neighbor stories with this lady who doesn't even really live in the house But her one deal that she always does is anytime we're doing anything We get you know we work on this house fucking non-stop every time we do anything she goes You guys uh pull permits for that and it's like oh my god Do if we did first of all obviously not my dad and me just smashed through a wall We did not get permits for the this look like her man did work by fucking ooh see that I Is a huge note for me. Yeah, so nosy neighbor I'll give it a one but I do think there is a I do there is a thrill to having a villain in your life Another character the and this is different than nosy the neighbor that wants to be your friend Oh bro don't give me fucking started. I know I think that's a two Because you can leverage that for them to do things like our last neighbors wanted to be cool with us And they were mostly fine, but they want to be cool with us And they were like anytime you want we'll walk the dog for you It's like uh weird how about now like what do you in fucking hospice you want to do it now Do you want to give me $50 do like what are we doing here? We have some new neighbors on the other side of us.
They're very nice people We were going to somewhere on halloween. We were wearing costumes waiting for an uber and this dude very nice guy Walked over to us. He's walking in he had a big arm full of groceries tons of beer lots of chips And he was like oh what you guys up to you? I'm like oh, I think we said to him What are you up to?
And he's like oh, you know, I'm just um Just doing like a really like a second intimate game night with some friends And he said it in the way that you say when you think someone's trying to invite themselves You know what I mean? But he also like literally exactly like in the movie game night had a fucking big right I was gonna say having like a bunch of people over That's the best part is I love that he thinks maybe we were just out there in costumes hoping someone would Invite us to do something so funny and also like you shame on you if you didn't do that that doesn't seem profitable for the freedom lake corporation Their apartment I got okay neighbors having a party I think is a two, but I don't know where to put it Yeah, do you want to go? No, well, okay actually there was a couple course you do there's a couple of times No, not of course you do not of course you do just to stop by and just see it I want to see it. I want to pop it so I can snoo but I'm not gonna I don't want to not attend right so I think a party is a two.
I'm gonna put that for their apartment Uh, I think a party is a two because one it could be annoying right like if it's like oh cool a party It's Wednesday and I've worked in the morning No, that's if a house is better for this obviously like a house party might not disturb you right right right but Party has two benefits one. There's a chance you can invite it and even Snoop around in there fucking come in with the latex gloves dude open their medicine Dear dude, would you dare? Dude would you dare I mean the bathroom of course you're gonna snoop the bathroom But like are you going into a bedroom dude a bed room dude a bed no no no no no no no no no We're talking like an apartment or a house like I cannot be like out here. I mean like I will take any chance to do it.
You know, I might even well I might even go uh, how about this? How's this one? Hey, why don't you give me the tour And then oh the tour the tour the tour is the tour is good, but it's not it's a little it's a little manufactured You know what I mean? It's not the real thing at least I'm gonna see the bedroom dude I don't have to slink in there like the damn Grinch.
You know what a good a good gift is When they say hey just pop pop your coat in my room. Oh, yeah, that's the yes. Yes. Yes.
I will pop my coat in your room What is in these two rowers? Yeah, I was gonna say let's without completely criminal like absolutely making ourselves so guilty What how how far you go in dude? You're not opening a drawer. There's no it is.
Oh for sure. I am it's what It depends on what I think my time is because look bro. I'm careful dog if they come in and you're like in the bedside drawer You're gonna call the police on you. It's crazy.
I have to feel I gotta check You know what I mean? I'm gonna I gotta feel so secure that they're far down the hall. Oh my god, dude And it's a quick one. It's not I'm not I'm not ransacking the place That's why the bedroom drawers is correct.
Don't trust your girl around fucking waboo. He's slinking and sneaking around Open doors where he pleases. I'll get a bathroom. You know I'm gonna check it Fucking head to foot.
I'm gonna see yeah tip to tail bathrooms getting under review I think a big a big one for me is uh how you keeping your shower, you know what I mean pop in there What you got just a bit like you I think that tells a lot about first of all is it nasty You know, you got that nasty ring around it down at the bottom But also like what kind of freak shit you got in there You got three different shampoos. Why dude? You got just one big bottle of dr. Brahmers dude that you're just putting your all over your whole body Just burning your whole body with that eucalyptus sick what about being friends with a neighbor?
Yeah, I think it's also a two Like I feel like you it's a two for sure. I feel like This is kind of the same as can I have some sugar but a neighbor that you can A neighbor that you can borrow things from and I don't mean you're fucking food because that's different right but like Like my dad is my dad is this neighbor dad lab. You know he got a lab full of tools. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. And he's anytime anyone's like hey Mike you got an air compressor He's like of course I do. Okay. I got an air.
Yeah, of course For sure. It's a fucking industrial sized air compressor. Hey Mike. You have a uh Four and five eight.
Yep. I got it right here. Hold on one second Uh that to me is clutch. That's a huge neighbor like just a jack of all I got everything you could borrow.
I love that 100 I think I mean I kind of touched on this already but like pets are characters and there are two Yeah big time big because like dogs Overall besides them little motherfucks that are fucking pissing on my fucking chairs I Sit in front of the winda and I get to watch a parade of beautiful dogs get walked all day long and I love it I would prefer it but sometimes you got a yipper and sometimes you got a little piss boy. Yeah yippers and bizzers are no good Uh, I agree with that I also like we had when we had that little side yard Uh, there was this cat that lived in the house next door and it was the best way to experience a cat Which is through a window We would look at it and sometimes it would put its pog in the window like it was trying to have like a You know in the movies when the person puts it is in jail and they put their hand against the little it was like sure Um, but it was great because we never knew what that cat's name was the cat never I never had to manage a litter box It was oh, yeah, you make up the animals names. We've created names for every animal of course. Yes.
Yes That cat was rump-tucker, or worse we could you know manage it? Um So pets I agree is a two and that is a character Um, there are no animal ownership laws in north carolina. What do you mean, dude? You can have anything that's can't be right I have a dankomota dragon.
Yeah, you can have anything. I think obviously the apartment complex has probably got its own rules Yeah, sure and I have yet to see any exotic pets, but anything yeah bro anything anything we talked about it. Oh, that sucks That's crazy. I'm pretty sure the apartment's uh like to get a dog or cat or a fish or otherwise fuck off But yeah, yeah, don't bring your dank panda in here I had a home.
I could fill it with red pandas and fucking bobcats and haghogs dude. Probably a bunch of haghogs Far wild one you probably get one of them damn smoky mountain bears train it to be your friends for months Well, we've talked extensively about if we were to get an exotic animal what we would get and it's you'll never believe it But all of them require so much fucking care even the ones that don't seem like they do yeah, that's not surprising to me at all That's why we never domesticated them So what about a raccoon dude? You think of raccoon can't be too much? No, they mark their territory bro.
I already looked into it Damn, that's tough because a raccoon just they're just red that way. They're so this is a handsome little critter Yeah, it's a handsome critter and they're mysterious and they're getting into trouble which I love This is a raccoon podcast. I have a bad character neighbor, dude, and it's a liar You just have a neighbor that lies to you. How do you mean like um Hey, uh, can I Do you know uh like jeff's number jeff the super?
Do you know his number? Nah, sorry and like I know they know jeff the super number because I've seen jeff the super at their house or like uh, hey Did you hear? Did did are we did you hear that? No, I didn't hear no I haven't heard anything.
Sorry Okay, cool. I just feel like sometimes you hit neighbors in people in general you have the social reactions where you just lie because it's easier I don't want to be a liar dude. I don't I can't have the liars like to me as someone that doesn't want to chat at all is ideal Yeah, yeah, keep it buttoned up dude. You know, it's great.
We do have these neighbor friends and one of them He's he's talked about it. We've we both agreed. We don't like small talk. We don't do it.
We've wave You guys talked about not like in small talk. That's kind of what yeah, it's great. It's also because these are people we've like spent weekends with like going out drinking Stuff, but we see it in the complex. It's just a quick little it's perfect.
Hey, how's it going? That's it? Hey, yeah, see you later. Catch me.
Yeah, that's shit Yeah, that's great. I love that. Um, I have a I have a two. This is kind of a feels a little bit like a New York specific thing.
Well, not New York specific, but like certainly wasn't ever happening in San Francisco Uh in terms of interactions interactions in common space. I'm thinking rooftop specifically But I know you guys have like a little lobby and shit, right? We don't have a lobby nowhere It's like a just like a ton of buildings that wind their way up a mountain But I thought you had like wherever you're getting your little coffee in the morning. Oh, we do.
We have a clubhouse. We have a club club Oh, I'm so sorry. Don't call it a fucking lobby police proper terminology. It is a club house This is our clubhouse no girls allowed and we have good with the fucking It's my little fucking hot chocolate clubhouse, but That's great because it it brings me to a great thing to talk about which I would have forgotten.
Oh, we had a pool But what's I have to do with neighbors, dude? It's a prime neighbor interactions. Okay. Yeah, that's the common space Yeah, but I think that that I kind of think that that's legit because seeing how somebody acts at a pool I think tells you a lot about them.
It adds to the snooper. Yeah, you know, that's when you get to see where you get all the hot neighbors Yeah, you get to see their hotness. You get to see your neighbor that has the I can't man. I'll never forget what we were in Mexico and I saw a man in a pool who had a vittruvian man stamp stamp And like that's the type of shit.
I want to see it. Oh, yeah, bro. This is a very intimate. Look at your neighbors at the pool Yeah, look at them.
See how they do dude. See what they are up to like Did they bring a book to the pool? That's kind of cool. Did they bring their Nintendo switch?
That's kind of weird Why did you leave the house to do that? Where are you else sucks is when you see people in your building that are cool and you realize they're not your name? I wish I had a reason to talk to this person. Yeah, we were at the pool.
We were at the pool recently and Recently, I mean six months ago. It's gonna say it's fucking December dude. I hope not It's fucking 34 degrees outside. Um, there was a group of group of friends just like looking cool throwing down on some selties Have a nice weekend day.
They had cool tattoos. I was just like damn which those guys man Is it that the work honestly the worst? It's like you're at a wedding table and people are having more fun at the other end Oh my god, and you're just like it's there's no Proper way to be like hey, you guys seem cool. You mind if we hang like it's just impossible Can we be hanging with you?
Yeah, what's the vibe you guys need two more vibe fellas I have a character and it's I only say this because it's potentially what I my situation I feel like what the house That is occupied. Have I talked about my crazy neighbor's house? I feel like I must have on here You have I had to cut the story about it burning down last time because the episode was too long Yeah, that's fine. I don't need to tell that story again anyways That my I somebody it the long and the short of it is my neighbor's yard was on fire and I thought someone was breaking in And so I ran out of the street essentially naked With a baseball bat in my hands, but that lady's house might be haunted.
I think characters. I don't want to ghost Oh, a ghost neighbor is no good. It's no good. It's fine really because it's a neighbor It's a ghost neighbor gonna do to me.
I know dude, but if I'm I'm parking my car and or we're coming home from some dinner And I look up at my neighbor's house and I see a spooky specter across the window I'm gonna get a little chill down my spine. Do you know the specter doesn't haunt the neighbors? Right. I'm not really afraid of you but the specter's concerned with giving us a spooky glimpse of its visage I think you know, but you know it's gonna be that it's gonna give me that chill down my spine though, bruv None of you know he's there.
What's up? That's just herald the fucking ghost. Okay. I'll put a ghost as a two That's like the best way to have a ghost in your life I think their place might become filthy with ghost hunters dude.
I can't have the damn ghost busters fricking Do not live next door to the ghost busters. Yeah, those dudes they've got that fucking fire alarm going off non-stop I think like living next to a band obviously seems bad. Even if they're a good band. I don't I'll just go I'll catch their show dude.
I don't need to listen to them right this way. We actually did have I will say We lived in New York there was this band that only ever practiced on the weekends, which was sick and they just fucking Rit for like that's cool. I guess on the via hours and they're good is yeah And it was like it's it was tight and it was like always Beat and you could hear it like you can kind of hear it from our apartment if the window is open But you could really hear from the bus stop down the corner and so it's just like sitting at the bus stop It was so tight. That's pretty good Uh, but yeah band I would say overall is a one like especially a little bit apartment worse than a band is like oh my god dude characters dude kids I can't think of a single thing that makes it good, right?
No, okay, like what about when they bro like classic one what if they they they come to you to tell you to turn it down Oh my god, obviously that is a one look we all been in our 20s before I thought we bothered the hell out of some people It's a it's a one on any side of the tracks, right? Like if I have to go do it I feel like fucking copo supreme so now like I feel I'm there hey guys. I'm so sorry You are fucking copo supreme dude one time. I can't remember what the situation was but one time we just we I can't remember I was with somebody and they just fully lied about having a kid they're like hey, I'm so sorry I don't want to be a buzzkill our kid is sick.
There was no good department I don't know I don't know who did that I must be when I was living in New York and it's like that is such a bad lie Like they're never gonna see you with a kid I kind of love the who gives a fuck nature of that though. Yeah, because it's like what do you what you fucking what do you ask for a goddamn picture? Test me dude. What's my kid's name doesn't matter Gerald fuck you.
Give a fuck you interaction. What about the neighbor from home improvement dude? The guy that just like unpeeping tom. No, yeah, dude.
Peeping tom is probably no good See we've been talking about being purpos on all our neighbors, but we got turned this back and imagine if we caught them purvin on us, dude It sucks because it's kind of a two right. It's like damn birds of a feather. Hey, I get it Yeah, it takes one to no one. I'm there with you.
I'm there with you. Keep it on my steeze dude. I get it. Oh, here's a good interaction Oh fucking just likes tell you a story about fucking sick.
I am Saw this saw this neighbor. She's struggling with something She's like literally literally trying to carry a big couch by herself. She's like an older lady So like obviously some such a good fucking person Nah, dude, merit badge wabu. Here we come.
Yeah, merit badge wabu helped her in but like you know this was self-serving for like I'm about to go into her apartment. Yeah, of course. How was it though? Tell me how it was it delivered?
It was Nothing like I could have anticipated she's older lady It was very dark in there and very incensey. Okay, cool. I thought I was about to get a fucking migraine It was so much incense going on in there a lot of like curtains and Not what I expected for the people that live there. That's interesting.
It was great. It was everything I wanted supreme surprise intrigue mystery I have another dad lab for you that I feel like I don't know if I told you this but you're you might it's it's up there with the Dad lab sort of create. It's also a borderline business with being so They are I need to I need to make something clear before I start this story. They are what I would call Friendly with their neighbors.
I would not call them like close like they don't like go to dinner Together or whatever but they agreed my dad pitched this thing to them and they agreed they share a fence back your fence and my dad Did this thing where he basically cut a hole in the fence like a big fucking hole and Then like put it on hinges and attached to chains and so The fence kind of looks normal when you're in his yard when you're in either yard I suppose it kind of looks normal But you can unhook it from my dad's side and drop it down and it is like it becomes a table They call it a bar. It is most certainly not a bar that it becomes a table between the two Homes huh? It's like a hole in the fence. It's my I don't want to call it a hole It's like an opening I mean it's like I don't know four feet by three feet or something and it's just like I'm like chat That is I just can't fathom wanting to do that man.
It's crazy We've been back there and my dad will the fucking Bob the neighbor will be like hey Mike how's it going? My dad's like oh good. You want to drop it down? He's like yeah, and I'm just like I'm like so loudly whispering what level Do they have to crouch no no it's like a no it's like I mean I would say it's bar height You know it's like you know chest abdomen sure it's ever Bob is like six eight I think so Bob actually does have to six eight Bob is a fucking cute.
He's a giant man Thorper slam dunk champion Bob fucking damn dude six eight Bob is fucking it follows and he's fucking Jesus Christ Crouching in there. I don't think that Bob needs this device at all Bob Just look right over the top of the fence. It sounds like yeah, basically so my I think that that is very business with beans Oh backyard fence bar is the two for innovation and one for anything else, okay Man, okay, so here I feel like we've been pulling from our own experiences But I have kind of a head of steam now that I just talked about my my dad because like my dad lives in one of these California suburbs that is like thrown up overnight kind of you know like track homes They're all five feet apart. They all more or less look the same inside and outside with like a few changes They do something that happened to them, which I think is obviously this is a three for interactions They got sort of wrapped up in some neighbor drama dude.
Oh That is a little thrilling to me and I don't need drama with the neighbors like they had drama that sucks Because that's what you're going through right now, right is like you want be with the neighbors that sucks They they had like a very suburban like they had these friends across the street and they their kids were the same ages You know their kid and like they all hung out They came over on the 4th of July and they go shit And then there was like this crazy falling out where they learned that the man who had been going to work all this time was not going to work At all he was spending six hours on the phone with a life coach in a cafe So then they got a divorce and it was incredibly messy and like my parents were just like I mean, we know all this stuff. We are close friends with both of them. We're watching him move his stuff out I that's dude. That's a soap opera, but you're you front row seats dude.
I love it. Yeah, bro This is good because my beloved parents live in a suburb of Atlanta and we were there everything's getting break And we got a little slice of life in the burbs over there and it's like true burbs You know saying yeah, yeah, street everyone knows each other on it It kind of sold me a little bit because of exactly what you're saying the drama. There's so many storylines, bro Oh, yeah big time and they're all nothing right. It's all like oh my god Shit going down on that street.
Tell me dude coming off a slice. What are you doing that quiet little street? Just got a throttle. Oh fuck.
Yeah, dude characters a throttle. Are you joking my ass right now? That's yeah, it's the first four in goddamn already went to we also went to one of their neighbors It was so fucking sick. It was a classic case of like goddamn rich people they They have this basement first of all biggest fucking basement.
I've ever seen these days dude kind of sick I like has nothing to do with neighbors. Dude. I love a basement Especially when they do what they did here I'm gonna send you a fucking picture of this they built and like look guys I know a lot of people that built bars in their garage. I really do these fucking people built a Incredible tiki bar down there.
It's not even fully finished yet, but like holy shit It was huge. It was cool as fuck that on all the knickknacks This dude was like making his own syrups and like importing expensive rum from Barbados just like rich people, bro Yeah, sure normal stuff. It was crazy. That's tight Yeah, I mean and that's the neighborhood I do like so like I had a little bit where both of us were like oh shit Do we get it with the burbs the thing that sucks is with the burbs is that you I mean, you know, it's all the obvious things first of all a Lot of times it's like almost exclusively white people a lot of times you are when you Relegate yourself to the burbs you remove yourself from anything actually culturally relevant So it's like when you get dinner delivered your options become like chilies to go and correct like that's it So that I mean it comes with the obvious drawbacks, but I do love I love the drama of it I'll tell you an interaction.
Maybe I don't know if this interaction but an interaction that I don't like is a tit for a tad dude the oh we invited you to our house for fourth of July So next time you have kind of a like a backyard party. Oh, yeah, we love to take a tip in your pool dude That's pass. Yeah, do I hate it for a tad? I can't stand it.
No, but again It's impossible to avoid like fuck dude. You invited us to your kid's birthday party We showed up being nice and now what we have to invite your our kids birthday party. We don't know that fuck that shit No way You know, it's a fun game for us. So our apartment complex doesn't have assigned parking.
It's very annoying. Don't get me started It's just a parking lots all the way up the mountain. So we like to like try to figure out who's cars who okay? It's impossible.
There's no way to know but of course. Yeah, it's a good game. Yeah, I love it I love a neighbor that looks out for you, right? They text you like hey Just so you know it's Street sweeper day and I saw your car still out there.
I want to move it like that's yeah That's a great interaction. Yeah, I took the liberty of hot wiring it and I moved it to the other side of the street I do I use my yeah, I use a forklift I have and I relocated it to the other side Yeah, I like that. I'm trying to think of other dude the suburb the nasty little suburb stuff that I I Could talk a little bit about my stupid Hate Dude, let it rip she got this big ass fucking house that she doesn't live in she lives in a different house That's number one number two. She's always asking if we got our permits.
We talked about this Yeah, her house is in fucking shameless and this is the thing look I'm gonna take something that sounds so lame. Oh, and I just like I have to say it and it just sucked do it when you buy a house And I get it dude that sucks. I feel like I'm the one percent dude I know I bought this little dog shit house and now I'm like Richie rich over here when you buy a house So much of what you think about is your property value because it's everything Like I literally emptied all of my savings account and went into more debt in order to buy this house So like all I think about is like is this house going to eventually make me some money Which sucks? It's a shitty way to think now all that aside and she ain't helping that shit woman has a fucking rotting house next to me It's horrible.
So like character to hoard her obviously she's a horror it her front area is covered in trash like constantly and Her move and I guess this is also a character her move is like she always has these guys work that like definitely don't speak English And she just is probably paying like ten dollars a day to fucking I don't know power wash her garbage that she keeps the But she did this thing I feel like I talked about this on the show before one time Chelsea digs to me I think someone's under the house and I was like well That's not good and this is like when we first moved in so then she runs out to the front where our Conveniently where the area to go under the house is located on the street where everyone could get into it She sees that the neighbor has her worker on our roof Like doing stuff to her house because the house is pretty close and like she's like you got to get down from there You can't be up there dude and the lady is like our neighbor is like well at the house your house is too close to my first Your house is too close to my hey. Hey, lady. We didn't build it. It was actually here that we didn't Exactly this close since before you live there for over 100 years actually is how long it's been this close to your house And she was like if I can't get on your roof then we have to get a bucket truck and Chelsea and I both were like well I guess you got to get a bucket truck then huh?
Is a bucket truck like the truck that like PGN uses to like reach the power Oh, and it's like yeah, dude I don't know what to fucking tell you don't get on my roof and she was like well This is like a bit obviously horrible character to like a know it all actually This is maybe an interaction when your neighbor is like you've moved in after them And so they want to be like hey, you know around here We actually do it this way or like um, you know like her thing She was like actually when you when you sell a house in California you have to replace the roof which is fully not true Obviously, yeah, she's a big know it all I feel like that is the worst Oh, hey, if you you know actually the stairs are faster than the elevator cool dude Thank you for that. You know, I actually don't care about that bonus points shut the fuck up Yeah big time just shut up, please. We're not talking to shut up What do you think about your neighbor do you care at all about how your neighbor's house looks how your other door looks in your Hallways anything What their fucking door looks like I've only lived in departments. That's not true I lived in a house for six years you sure did but but it was a corner house You didn't have any neighbors except them freak out sources.
I got them horses I got my neighbors. Oh my god horse neighbors. Do neighbors right? Yeah Obviously horses are big no for me I need someone that one one of them horsies and sometimes I just be cooking in my kitchen and then whom should I see but a horse riding up to my Winda.
Oh, no clip it and clop in and everything with the clips and the clocks. Yeah, dude. They they the people they They pick up that horseshit or what yeah, they pick up the horseshit that oh Horse shit horses are bad neighbors. We are we have my mom's neighborhood There's like a ranch or something There's people horses and they they clip and clop all around the neighborhood and they just don't pick up the horseshit No, so it's just in the horses are such nightmares We went to the holiday parade recently and obviously there was a horse And there was just you always got to catch that dumb motherfuck just walk about in the horse with a goddamn bucket in a broom That's so lame.
What a nightmare for that guy. Well, don't get neighbors or do the choices yours. It's not though is it? You could live in the middle of New Year.
Yeah, I think that's easier said than done But yeah, I think They can be a benefit. I mean you have to just wield them appropriately with great neighbors comes great responsibility It's true. I think is the crucial element here. That's all I got that's it.
That's all we need and that's all you need as well Thank you to bad Todd for the music shout out to bad Todd He's tough that talk by the way is make a big big neighbor friend maker. He's a He's neighbor. He's neighbor friends with a person. That's behind their house like through the backyard over the fence He's friends with that what yeah, we I don't know how that happened, but he's all the time.
He's like yeah, I was over there playing N64 I was like alright, man cool great. You made a friend Thank you to Adam Faye for the art Phoenix Arizona baby the ex she's back exes, but I'm coming to Estail in January So hit me up. You know, I just did come get me come get at me coming to Stalia Thanks to New York. Thank you to the ATL which I was just mentioning.
Thank you to Detroit Michigan and like Bulgaria's back on the board But barely so yeah, let's fucking yeah race you with your theme song right now over shut up Bulgaria Can I ask you something? Do does that mean that your? Your in-laws family not in-laws technically your beloved family. That's them listening right if it's in the land now Luckily, this is from ATL proper and not the burbs.
So it's it's must be Some members of the Atlanta Hawks probably try young it's Trey. It's Trey. What's up? I stray.
What's up? Click the button and hold in here just think about that. I straight. Alright.
We gotta go. Yeah, let's do it. Bye everyone Peace wait, you didn't do your part. Oh, and if the month you don't have the much don't forget about the crunch god damn dude that episode