No Matter The Moment, There Is Always Opportunity To Give Thanks }|{

I decided yesterday to take a walk this rising, clear my mind have a change of scenery, as I do know I always feel uplifted after breathing in the fresh air of a park and just being in nature. I arrived and took a seat and it was in that moment that I reflected on the fact that whilst everything isn’t where I want it to be yet, everything is becoming, I am applying myself and I am also listening to my bodies needs, more so than ever, which includes pausing regularly and often and with this, I am finding balance. I mean, as it has been and probably will be, there are days when I am all systems go, jumping from one thing to the next, one idea to the other and then days where nothing can be done at all and whilst I have struggled and not been graceful towards myself when dealing with this, one day I will remember that if I just listen and attend to my body as and when it needs to be tended to, that would allow me to avoid prolonged periods of burnout and rumination causing heightened mental anguish.I have never been here before.I have never had this experience. I have never known this feeling or had this kind of safety so it is only right, it will take some time to get used to. And so whilst I was sitting, watching the world pass around me and taking in the scenery which was quite grey, yet still beautiful, I was called to say an inner thank you, which I often find myself doing these days and that feels so good. I know it has been such a battle to get here and actually when for years death has been an unconscious part of me, holding space in my heart and mind, progress of any kind is always met with caution. The image came to mind of dogs, the ones that are severely abused and when rescued they are very reluctant to engage with anything the owner wishes them to participate in, not for not wanting to but because they are scared. That is sometimes what stepping into life feels like, being petrified yet excited by the new, which sometimes leaves you in limbo because the fear of stepping forward can be so great and feel so enormous and feel so consuming and lets not forget the threat of rejection sensitivity too. I know one of the greatest marks of trauma is feeling the need to hide and how that presents difficultly in everyday life as people expect you to show up and accept their passes at you, not knowing you are petrified, because although I know its not strangers that do the most damage, now I’m just wary of everyone and that can be a very difficult place to grow from. And Yet Grow I must! And I am, in my own time and I know done properly, that cannot be rushed, just like a seed. The environment matters, care matters, presence matters.I am greatful to recognise and work through these things. I am greatful for the moments where my mind just gently repeats thank you in the background whilst everything ticks over and I continue to grow through the hard days and finally give myself grace. I hope that you too find moments, often, that remind you there is always opportunity to give thanks. Sending light and love, ALWAYS x And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.” L A H A Y L A D A H L I A L O R E Get full access to S e l f l o v e l o v e s e l f 3 6 5 at selfloveloveself365.substack.com/subscribe