Nobody Prepares You for This Part of Empty Nesting

This Week’s Weeds: There’s No Buffering Yourself From Empty Nest GriefI’m flying solo this week (Z is off chasing the theater dream; she’ll be back), and it’s fitting because this episode is about exactly that: my kids not being here.Here’s the thing I got wrong about empty nesting. I thought the women who struggled were the ones who’d lost themselves in motherhood. I made sure that wasn’t me: I wrote, taught, got certified in yoga and meditation, and earned a master’s and a doctorate while raising three kids. I judged the sad empty nesters (bratty of me, I know) and assumed I’d be fine.I wasn’t prepared anyway. What I’m grieving isn’t the chaos of little kids (I genuinely don’t miss that). It’s the clearly defined role. The bowling banquets, the snack shop, the PTA, knowing exactly what my job was. For 22 years, everything I pursued fit into the spaces around parenting. Now there’s just space. And no instructions.Add a move to Minnesota where I literally GPS my way home, and you get the moment a friend asked me “so what are you up to now?” and I had no answer.In this episode:* The empty-nest myth I believed (and why preparing didn’t protect me)* Six months of “dogged pursuit of connections”: pickleball leagues, golf trips, and volunteering, and why I’m exhausted anyway* The golf weekend that woke up my inner junior-high girl: alone on the first floor while everyone else roomed upstairs* Why old triggers roar back when you’re worn down, and what they’re pointing to* Reaching back for “Cristie Ritz-King”: the girl who pitched on the softball team and tried out for field hockey having never played. She’s still in there.* Being a “freshman in adulthood”: not retirement, not young parenthood, just new* My honest wrestle with whether talking about empty nesting is “enough” when the world is on fire, and why I’m sticking with the personalThis Week’s WonderChange is a gift. I have the time and space to choose who I become next (questions that weren’t even an option when I was in survival mode). And the internet, for all its junk, is full of genuinely rich, nuanced, fact-based creators helping us learn and grow. That’s wonder, too.Watching / Listening:* 🎬 The Four Seasons (Netflix): Season 2 opens on the Jersey Shore and made me openly weep with homesickness* 🎙️ If Books Could Kill: The palate cleanser I need from political podcasts* 🎵 My “Cristie Ritz-King” playlist: Queen Latifah, The Cure, Public Enemy, REM, U2. My daughter’s friend thinks I’m hip. I’m just 17 at heart.If something here resonated, I’d love a review, a share, or a hello. And remember: keep looking for the wonder in the weeds. The sun will come up tomorrow. Get full access to Cristie Ritz-King, PsyD at critzking.substack.com/subscribe