Non-Monogamy, Attachment & Communication — ft. Sex Therapist Martha Kauppi

This episode is a deep, grounded, and powerful conversation. In this episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we sit down with relationship and sexuality professional Martha Kauppi, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, author, educator, and founder of the Institute for Relational Intimacy. Martha works at the intersection of intimacy, attachment, nervous system regulation, and relationship patterns — helping people understand not just what's happening in their relationships, but why it's happening in their bodies, emotions, and connection styles. Together, we unpack some of the most important (and misunderstood) parts of ethical non-monogamy and long-term relationships: communication, differentiation, emotional regulation, compersion, desire, and the real work that starts after the fun part. Martha shares how her personal life and family history led her into this field, why open relationships have been unfairly pathologized in therapy spaces, and what decades-long non-monogamous relationships actually look like when they are built with intention. This conversation goes far beyond labels. We talk about what happens when couples move from swinging into emotional connections, how to navigate mismatched needs, how to express hard truths without destroying trust, and how to stay connected when discomfort shows up. You'll hear powerful insight on: Why communication is a skill set, not a personality trait The difference between rules, regulation, and relational safety Why many therapists misunderstand non-monogamy How to explore ethically without overwhelming your relationship Compersion, jealousy, and emotional self-awareness How long-term non-monogamous relationships actually sustain intimacy Adam and Pris also get personal — opening up about their own journey from swinging into polyamory and back out again, what they learned about themselves, and how those experiences reshaped their communication, trust, and emotional depth. This episode is honest, validating, and packed with insight whether you're monogamous, exploring, actively non-monogamous, or simply trying to build better relationships. About our guest: Martha Kauppi is a certified sex therapist, clinical trainer, and author of Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients). She trains therapists internationally and hosts the podcast Untangling Intimacy. Learn more at: Institute for Relational Intimacy Listener discretion advised. This show contains adult themes and real relationship discussions.