Non-Verbal and Creative Approaches to Intimacy

Austin Cresap is therapist specialising in sex therapy and sex education in Seattle, Washington, and Hawaii.In this conversation, she shared some fantastic ideas and practical tips for making intimacy easier, more playful and that takes the pressure out of who initiates sex. She talked about using a secret signal, like a coffee cup, to indicate interest in intimacy. Austin also introduced the "No, but…" approach, as a way of overcoming the challenge of mismatched libidos - a more thoughtful way to reject an act without rejecting your partner, keeping the connection intact.For me, preparation is a big part of intimacy. Whether it’s putting on something that makes me feel attractive, doing my hair, or just mentally getting into the mood, it’s all part of the process. I also made the case for scheduling intimacy and we discussed why it’s not unromantic. As we discussed, we schedule everything else in life, so why not prioritise time for connection? What really resonated with me was how creativity can transform intimacy. Whether it’s playful signals like the coffee cup, role-playing, or simply planning ahead, it’s all about keeping things fresh and fun. As Austin pointed out, these approaches help couples navigate busy lives and different arousal styles, making intimacy less about spontaneity and more about meaningful connection. You can find Austin at:http://www.icameheretotalktherapy.com00:00 Introduction to Sex Advice for Seniors01:54 Exploring Intimacy and Nonverbal Cues12:20 Understanding Female Hormones and Sexuality19:33 Cultural Perspectives on Aging and Sexuality26:00 The Pressure of Performance in Sexual Relationships30:10 Creative Approaches to IntimacyIf you enjoyed our conversation, let me know! I love to hear from my listeners (and it doesn’t happen often enough). If you’ve found any of the tips on this or any of my shows helpful, a review on iTunes would go a very long way.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe