NRE is fake: potential projections about potential

ERE is where it's at..."I got two turntables and a microphone" ERE established relationship energy.  I'm in a trough. Experiencing sadness. Thoughts of inadequacy; I'm not enough and too much- the drama of it all.  Yet through my experiencing sadness I will then place feelings into my body what soft cock growing hard under me having a shared experiencing of giving and receiving love feels like! My visual: the key is in front of me but I'm so focused on 'finding' it under rocks, I can't 'see' it.  ASMR...I get a little meditative like and relaxing!