Olympics

Oh hello, we get all you blooming onions and Paul Bunions. Welcome to another episode of Jesse Wilder's Guide to Life. I'm Jesse, that's Wilder, and we are here to guide your life at our normal summer schedule, I would say, a couple of six, 10 weeks between. Yeah, everything on the internet says, if you wanna do a podcast, whatever you do, do not release consistently.

Do not do it, you can't, you mustn't. Yeah. So we won't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, everybody knows it, and everybody knows it.

Here we are back again. Why, I can't even, I can't even get to it all. God, it's the Olympics, baby, it's happened. It's here.

The question on everyone's mind, I will not be competing this year. You are stepping away from which event was that again? All of them, I did drop a cutting board on my foot last night. It hurts so bad.

Is anything more humbling than wondering if you broke something? You definitely didn't, you never did, but the thought just makes you feel like weenie of the year, right? Yeah, and at our ripe age of 35, Jesus Christ, it feels, you got to do this dance of, okay, I've hurt myself doing something stupid, or just doing something I wasn't supposed to do because I'm too old to do it. And now the question is, do I do the responsible thing and go to the doctor and risk looking like a tremendous weenie when the doctor is like, nah dude, that's just a bruise.

Yeah. You're just old, so it hurts hella more than every bruise you've ever had in your entire life, or do you not go to the doctor and then live in fear for the next two weeks while you go, mmm, this isn't really healing, still hurts. See, I would love that because I don't, it's always gonna heal for me. I've never broke it, I never broke it.

Oh, interesting. I'm over ready, maybe. It's gonna be fine. You never had a broken bone?

Never. You can't break them. They've tried. No, too strong.

They what though, my muscles and my tendons, all of those get fucked up for eggs. Sure, I've stretched them good. So anyways, we're two Olympians talking about the Olympics, specifically summer. I kinda, I don't wanna combine them, I don't think.

I don't fucking care about the Winter Olympics. I know you would have different on that loss. It's just, there's like three excellent events and the rest is like, oh, you're doing what in the snow? Still compelling.

They should do all the summer events during the Winter. Like make them run on an outdoor track, that's covered in ice. That's how you make the Winter Olympics more interesting. Just the same ones, but in the snow.

Yes. Well, swimming through the ice would be sick. You, when you dive, you have to break through the ice. Should we just get to it then or what?

Obviously, I think, like we can't do a category for every event. So you just gotta do events, I reckon. I think events is one, okay? As we, as we record this, the opening ceremonies are happening.

So this is fresh to the minute. Yeah, and also when you hear it, the shit will be halfway done. There'll probably be so many different storylines having been started and completed by the time they hear this. Storylines is another category.

And then I wanna hit you with events, Jabu version. Yes, correct. Better versions. Yeah.

Or just new events. Like can I, I think about this in the shower. Can I toss one to you? Oh, toss it.

And I want you to really think about it before you react with a rating. Staring contest. I mean, it's bananas to me. Yeah, but it might be a two.

Can you give it a two? I might want to give it a three. That's not bad. Oh, no.

Because imagine just the camera on people. What would they be up to? And I just think at the beginning, it would be like, of course, stupid, right? In the first like minute, it would be boring.

And then every passing second, like you would start to freak out. If it was like, there was a timer in the corner. It was like, we were at six and a half minutes. Slovenia and France, locked in a deadly staring contest.

And it's just fucking, ooh. So no blankies? Is that the deal with staring contest? No blankies, baby.

No blankies. Oh, there people are gonna be like tape in their eyelids open or something or glue in them. Some sort of weird. A kintu, a steroid.

So I'm gonna put staring contest too, but I almost want to say three. Like it's so- Do you think they would do funny faces? They could. But then like imagine, imagine, dude, the foolishness, you're a Romanian Olympian, you have three- They're not gonna blame.

Yeah, and you're sitting there doing this. Ooh, yeah. There's no way you can embarrass your fucking country. If you did it for long enough though, do you think I'd wear them down?

This is a whole new category. Yeah, whole new show. Just staring contest is its own category. Okay, so staring contest, I'm gonna put it to you because there's not, it's stupid, right?

I do love it. You mentioned a storyline cheating. Is that a two storyline or is it, what do you think? I don't like wanna hear about it.

This is not a place for cheating. I think it's a one storyline. It bums me out. I don't wanna hear any cheaters.

Cheaters never prosper. Okay, sure, but doesn't it get you a little bit of juice when you're, when you hear like, the goddamn, the fucking, the country million or whatever, the villain busted for PD's like, I get a little bit of juice out of that. But I agree, you wanna beat them fair and square. Imagine though you beat them.

And then if you find out they were on steroids, but your country still beat them. That's good. Hit me with some events you love. Give me with some events you love.

Oh God. I love them all brother. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Can I tell you that?

I think swimming's actually a two. Interesting. It's good. But it's all the same.

I get bored with swimming fast. Yeah, I agree with you. I kinda feel that way about, I think we're gonna talk about this maybe for a couple of different things. I will say it is crazy impressive.

Like them freaks get out of the water and you see them back muscles and you're just like, yeah. Gee, zoo, how are you a person? For sure. But I'll give, I think it's all of swimming a two.

I don't mind that. I don't mind like diving, that shit is cool. Synchronized diving, synchronized swimming. That's pretty cool.

But just a race is just a race. Is that a race? Yeah, I don't care. Oh no.

I don't care for the different strokes. Like I don't give a fuck about folks. Oh, he's on fire today folks. We got daytime vibes.

Did you go all even though? You probably smelt it on us. Imagine a running version of what swimming does where they're like, now you have to do it a different way. Like if they were like, okay, you're saying, well, it's the same one you did before, but this time you have to do sort of like a skip instead of a run.

And yeah, a little very, like a director. Yeah. Yeah, do one but sad. That's what they should say after people finish their event.

Yeah. Honestly, bonus point now is silly one. So I have this, maybe this is boring. I have the list of all the events.

Yeah, hit it. Hit it. I think that there's even more than our listed to be honest. Because sometimes I love like a little, oh, here's a three.

Something you didn't even know about. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, something hammer throw.

I love a hammer throw and they spin around and they launch it. And it's just like something you've never, you'll never think about again until you see it again at the Olympics, you know. It's not like, and it's the thing that matters most of you in the world in that moment. Okay, I'm gonna go alphabetical.

Archery, I think it's a two. I like it. It's very cool. It's cool, but much like swimming, it feels like a lot of the same.

It's like shooting, they do that. What I would like to see someone do Robinhood. Split it. Is that really twine?

I wanna see that. Yeah, I don't call that Robinhood. I obviously call that. Oh, babe.

Breathe. Cause she doesn't breathe when she's shooting for her own hand. Yeah, she's shooting for her own hand. We all know that.

We've been doing that. I haven't, Chelsea kind of brought that up recently. Her, obviously mistake. Cause I had not done shooting for my own hand in a while.

And now you know I'm back on it, baby. Oh yeah, of course, of course. No, I'm at the, I'm never not doing it is a problem. It's my secret cap.

Holy shooting for my own hand. Holy shooting for my own hand. Okay, so I think Archery's a two. Yeah, it's artistic gymnastics.

Gymnastics all to me, I think get a three. They feel like the classic Olympic, right? This is like what? The flying through the damn air.

Yeah, and that's do that? No, no, no. And it's all, I mean, I was a younger man, of course. Obviously we all could, but now no way.

I love the gymnastic dancing. I love the ribbons. I love the fucking uneven bars, dude. Give me that.

All that shit is tight. One of these just says athletics. They're all athletics, guys. I don't know what you mean by that.

Is that like the track? Oh, maybe. Dude, I kind of, I think track is so boring. What do you think about that?

I don't get wrong. First of all, I love track. Yeah, I love it all dude. There's the thing.

Here's the thing you need to know. Everyone listeners, all of it. I love it all so much. I don't care who's playing.

I don't care who it is. I don't care what event it is. I just fucking love it. Here's some things about tracking.

You may not think about when you think about track. Long jump. Fucking high jump. Pole vault.

That shit is cool. A shot put. Yeah. Ever heard of it?

OK, OK, can you can you can we say this? Non running track games are three running. Sometimes people are so fast. I agree.

Running is a two. But it's like how is that different in the pool? Shit, you know, it's like now we're running 200 meters. Now we're running 400 meters.

Now there's four of them. You can see them in the pool. You can't even see them. The pool though, they give you the cool tracker.

It's like you like the tracker. The pool is like when you go to the carnival and they've got the game with the squirt gun. You know, talk about it. And it's like, you're moving the little guy across.

That's how it's to watch. I love swimming. I'm sure they would love to hear that. OK, OK, OK, badminton.

Kind of think it's a three, honestly. It gets so intense. For sure. You know what I love?

Handball. Oh, full contact, baby. Let's go. It's like Quidditch and Rugby combined.

I just love it all, dude. OK, I also like, would you agree that generally, I want to see, and this is something that I guess they all technically have, but like the more the combatants are against one another, the better, right? So like badminton, like I'm not just doing the best I can do. I'm doing my best to defeat my opponent versus like, you know, gymnastics, which is like I'm going to try and beat the most ever.

I hope that they fuck up. You know what I mean? I think they're I have to tell you, I think that I prefer an individual event more than a team sport in the Olympics. Interesting.

Because it just seems a little bit the same. Like watching basketball, for example, I don't even care, really, to watch that much basketball during the Olympics, because it's just like an all-star game or something. It doesn't seem that different to me. Just a bunch of American basketball players.

I want to watch the fuck in other countries. Yeah, I mean, I will say that this the it's much different now because so many of the NBA players are from around the world. So it is kind of sick to see. There is like, oh, yeah, I forgot.

He's representing, you know, whoever. And did you see? I'm sure you did, but the statistic of like the dream team, when the dream team did their Olympic run, they faced nine NBA players on international teams. This year alone, our American team will face 65 NBA players on international teams.

So it's like it's kind of spicy. It's kind of spicy. I like it. I like it.

I just it's cool to like lock in on one person. You know what I mean? I agree. Watch the fucking test there will will, dude.

I want to see them almost break. I'm going to give all. I'm going to give all team sports to just because we see these we could see these dudes, whatever, like it feels special. Yeah, that goes for basketball.

It goes for like softball. Unless I do think that we don't watch very often, like you're saying like bad men or handball. Right, bad men beach volleyball, dude. That will get to that.

But that is a little more. What? Indoor's tight. Oh my god, dude.

Beach ball ball ball ball ball. Volley ball ball to three, I think. Yeah, I love it. It's cool.

Fun to play fun to watch three general. I hate to play it, to be honest, to know I'm playing it. Dude, you know what I love? But that I'm a this is another one that feels classic to me, dude.

Boxing. I love boxing. Yeah, it's medium to me. But that's also just because boxing in general is meeting him to me.

I love a blood sport, dude. Come for it. Blood sport is important. I do without rear polo.

It's kind of boring a little bit. I guess. Yeah, it seems the only thing water polo has going for it in a major way is that boy, it seems fucking hard, huh? It seems so hard, but like so.

Being in the Olympics, it's hard. I'm putting it for team sports because I as a high school teacher in California, I watch a lot. I end up watching a lot of high school water polo. I don't even need more of it in my life.

I bet you do, freak. What else on that list? Raking? Oh my god, break dancing.

Oh, fuck dude. Yeah, bro. Didn't I tell you about this? This is the first year they're doing it.

Let's go. Tell you what, some lousy little beach bum Australian wins it this year. I'm going to be fricked off. You know they are, dude.

That's for sure. I would love if a landlocked country won. Yeah, dude. That would be sick to me.

Just like Germany. Is that place landlocked? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, just Germany.

Oh, no, it's not. No, it's not. What are they? They border up on the English channel.

Yeah, they got all kinds of oceans and seas. Fuck dude. It hits water in two different places, doesn't it? Try a different one.

Try a different one real quick. I could take. Yeah. Oh, wait, what was the fucking surfing from Bella Rus?

Right? They're really good, dude. I find that to be thrilling. Oh, for sure.

Those big fuckers just hoof hoof hoof. Yes. And it looks like, I love when they cut. It's like a fucking deni-billow-the-way move.

When they cut and all of a sudden you're like, fuck that's huge. That lake is massive. Jesus Christ. Yeah, rowing crew.

I love it. They used to have like, I don't know if they're doing it this year. Kayaking, they built this crazy like rafting course for people to rip. Yeah, yeah.

So sick. Yeah, I do remember that. Boat games is all there for me. Boat games.

Dude, they should have boat racing, driving like a little speedboat race. What are you sailing, I think, right? Sailing, I guess that. I'm talking about a motorboat, dude.

You want like a fucking F1 is what you want. Yes, I do. Sailing is tight though. Like, did you see the picture they have for sailing on the Olympics website?

It's crazy. Looks like something I have a James Bond movie. I'm not just half an inch above the water. So tight.

I have not just been exploring this website, but oh, now I'm looking at it. It's tight as fuck. What are you doing over here? What was that?

Pickleball? Table tennis, baby. Oh, table tennis is so fucking tight. And they play so far off the table.

Those guys have like a five foot berth from that table. Yeah, yeah. It's so tight. Yeah.

All extreme sports, I think are three. BMX skateboarding. It's all gravy, baby. What about Carate and Judo and Taekwondo?

Those are kind of sick. Those are, I think blood sport and blood sport. Yeah, it's better than boxing a little bit because like, in boxing people don't fucking wrap their legs around your head and throw you down on the mat like black widow. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I get that. I know that sports, but no, they sure don't. I prefer a boxing still. Dude, cycling.

I don't know. It's medium, but it's like you said, impressive. There's something about the impressive back there. It's so hard.

It's nervous. It makes me nervous because one of them falls. It's like the Tour de France. Yeah, yeah.

They all just, they all fall down. The Austrian might be the only one. Get it out. I don't need to see the horses.

I don't want to see them dance. They just jump over it. Like, it's not even the horse that's competing. Like, you're going to give a person a gold medal for a horse jumping over something.

I don't know. Yeah. If you're going to get, you should give the horse a medal first. I think we should be celebrating horses, as you know.

What do you think about for Jabu's version? Does everyone have to live? Okay. That is medium.

Is it a deadly games? Who? Where maybe the loser, you know, in Marcar, if you're last, you got to give up your controller and maybe you have to give up your controller, the big controller in the sky. You know what I'm saying?

I think deadly games as a one, obviously. I think it would be weird if people were dying. However, I like the idea of higher stakes. What if you lose?

You don't place? Sorry. No more Olympics for you. This was your shot, bud.

That's worse than death, I think. You're shame. You live with embarrassment. Damn.

That's like getting invited to a party and having one impression to make if you want to hang out with these people. And you know these freaks, which the Olympians are freaks. We know this. They're physical and probably mental freaks.

Oh, bonus points, dude. Getting it on an Olympic village. It's going down over there. It's always.

Did you hear about the bed? Yeah, they put the unfuckable beds. I'd like to see them try 2BH. You get world's best athletes.

I'm going to figure out how to get freaks busy. Yeah. This bed is not perfect. Yeah.

That's a storyline to me. And it's a three. Bangin. Olympic village freaky.

Olympic village. I have my eyes on what the Olympic village tinder situation is like. It's popping off. God, dude.

And the cool thing about the Olympics is what is it? A billion weeks long. And it's like once you, it's not even that long. It's not even that long, bro.

Yeah. So what is it? 10 days, two weeks, something? I think something like that.

It's like, I'm just going to get a fucking second day. Now you're just getting so bucky. Going to everything. Dude, yes, yes.

Fucking getting on Tinder, getting on Olympic Tinder. August 11th, it's over. Okay. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

So like two weeks. Three weeks. Not long enough. Double it.

I don't know about double it. Okay. We left off on the questioner. Dude, flag football is so funny.

We already put team sports. We don't have to do it. That's so lame to me. That gets its own special out of team sports one.

That's so lame. So the Olympics we're talking about that to me is classic. If we put regular football in here, the America would win 100 times out of 100. So why would we do that?

So we'll give them flag football instead. How about fucking fencing, baby? Fencing is tight. I would give fencing a three.

It's so compelling to me. Especially since one thing about the Olympics that I think is a bonus point is watching something where you don't really know the rules. You know? Like so often.

Sure. And you got to figure it out. It's like when you turn on some sort of random sport on TV on ESPN fucking 16 or something and you're like, what the fuck is this? What are they trying to do?

I love that shit. Not even ESPN 16. We were on vacation together as early as last week and we were watching the WNBA All-Star game and we were in a room with 10 people, many of whom are WNBA fans, none of us could make heads or tails of the three by three rules, which by the way is in the Olympics. And that's fun.

I like to sit there and be like, okay, okay, so what do we figure in? Sure. We did not talk about our romantic cottage getaway. Yeah, do you want to tell them about romantic cottage getaway?

Is steamy babies? Just like the Olympic Village. Just like the Olympic Village. What else on that list?

Yeah, let me hit you with golf. That's a one. It's like it is in life. Yeah, golf sucks.

Wearing rich person sport for rich people. I do not care for golf. And like, oh my God, that is one. Like you could watch it when it seems like golf is always happening.

It doesn't have seasons. Always on. So you always have cuz. Yeah, it's always a cup.

Jesus Christ. Okay, we got modern pentathlon. What the fuck are you? Oh, dude.

What's modern about it? Oh, when you cook out of the first images then with guns. What are we doing? Oh, that is quite modern in it.

What is a pentathlon? Ten things. Sounds like. Hey, Chum.

Pentice-five. Fencing freestyle swimming, equestrian show jumping, pistol shooting and cross-country running. I love it. See, that is where winter shines.

You got to like, skied on a hill, post up, shoot some targets. Like your fucking James Bend. Nobody cares about the winter Olympics. Do you go down the hill on two things or do you go down the hill on one thing?

That's my summer. You can skoot down on your tum. Yeah. What about sand castle building?

There's no Olympic sand castle building. I would fuck with that. I would do not. People would be if they were the best in the world.

So tight. I love rugby. We already set team sports. But rugby, to me, it's such a good world game.

There's so much like soccer. There's so many countries that do it. Yeah, kick ass at it. Shooting, dude.

It's just weak ass archery to me. Like in a bow, you fucking coward. Yeah, for real. Shooting's a one.

Unless it's part of a decathlon. I also like that in the pentathlon, it's a pistol. It's not like rifle shooting or shotgun shooting. Pistol is funny.

It's gonna be a little bit. You gotta load it. That's a revolver. Fuck yeah, dude.

Yeah. Shooting. If you are on the Olympic shooting team and you pass someone on the Olympic archery team, you have to fucking kiss their shoes. And if you're on the archery team, you get to shoot people with arrows anytime you want.

Yeah, that's your Olympic village. Yeah, that's correct. Table ten. That's how they mark which fucking cabin is there.

They fucking cabins. We kind of got them covered, dude. Oh, we didn't do wrestling. I don't like very much, but I know people do like it a lot.

It's whatever. It'd be low on my list of events. It does feel very classic Olympics. Like wrestling feels like the first thing they did.

And then weightlifting. I kind of like it, dude. I won't give it a three, but I do like to see them fucking scream as they lift up a billion trillion pounds. Yeah, they make me feel weird.

I don't like looking at it. Say more, dude. Say more about that real quick. Bodybuilders are weird.

Oh, looking. I don't like how they look. Those are not bodybuilders. They're weightlifters.

It's a little different. But like weightlifters look like bodybuilders a lot. I like when there's like a big, like the thing is bodybuilders are often like very toned. Sometimes you see those weightlifters and they're just like a huge fat guy.

Just some guy and he can just do it for like five seconds. Yeah. It looks like they're looking to snap their back. It does.

It looks like they're about to explode. I'm going to give weight. They don't know what they are and not because they're screaming either way. Yeah, those are the worst.

Every other sport you can see the injury happen. Weightlifting, they finish and you're like, but is he dead now? Like did his brain pop? Like what the fuck is up with that?

Okay. So basically all the games that matter, that was an extended intro to the show. Yeah, for sure. Welcome to it.

It's time, babies. What pageantry, we got fits. The lighting of the torch is classic to me, but I do love it. You've run it through the town.

You got to like that. Yeah, you do your thing. You have your little goofy thing. You get your celebrity cameos.

You do your song. You dress up in your fit. I love when it gets time and all the commercials got like their fucking 15 minutes of fame athlete in them. And it's like, oh, Joe swimming is doing the Reese's Puffs commercial right now.

Oh, hell yeah. I love that shit. Yeah. Madam Pam, her throw is my favorite D.C.

Super villain. Yeah, I celebrity endorsements. I'm going to give it a three because it's so short lived. It's like, okay, you're going to get two months where you're on the cover of this thing.

Dude, closing ceremony is boo boo to me. I don't give a fuck for sure. Don't close them. Just keep them going.

How about hometown hero, baby? Simone, like we need like those are the characters or storylines. Storylines is hometown here. That's a three.

The other thing that needs to be said about the Olympics is in case we haven't said before, the other times of the year, you're not catching talking about America. You're not catching wearing an America thing. But during the Olympics, these colors don't run. Love that you did it in an excellent.

Yeah. It's talking about England. Yeah, the Union Jack, this guy's referring to. Fuckin' idiot.

Yeah, hometown hero is great. I'll tell you what else I don't like, dude. It's a one, but you could talk me into it too. I don't care to hear any national anthem.

Hours, Francis, fucking Zimbabwe. Are there any good ones? There's probably two heaters where Chile comes up and it's like, dude, leave us a voicemail if you know about any fucking sick national anthem. Yes, if there's one national anthem that has a danky little bass drop, hit me up.

Otherwise, dude, put it in a box and shove it out of the fucker. I want a dubstep, nationally. Yeah, dude. Now the Colombian national anthem.

Rrrr. Don't give me Bulgaria, dude. That was so awesome. Dude, fucking is Bulgaria competing this year?

Second favorite team alert. Let's talk about Jabba with that. Yeah, tell me. What?

Do you want to improve something? You want to something new? What deserves to be the only thing that you want to improve? What?

Do you want to improve something? You want to something new? What deserves to be in the Olympics? What's the McGrath edition?

You already said staring contest. I did say staring contest, which I think is kind of, I did fire my best shot first. I will say that I think that they just approved esports for next time, which sounds lame, especially since it'll be like fucking counter strike. But if they did like Donkey Kong 64 speedrun, I would obviously fuck with that.

Sure. I think instead of add it to the Olympics, just make its own Olympics for it. And then you have like a million different events. Yeah, yeah.

That would be tight. Yeah. Donkey Kong speedrun would be very good. There's almost no game that I don't want to see people compete at the highest level for.

Shuffleboard. Bowling dude is bowling Olympic sport. I think it was at one point. Maybe that's winter dude.

I don't know. Bowling is kind of tight. Darts. Can you dance bro?

Can't do we can't do darts because then we would lose every time. It would just be automatic gold for stupid England and I can't be able to do that. Yeah, we can have that. Like ring toss, you know, or not ring toss the little the ring on the hook game.

Oh sure. Ring on the hook game. Do you want shots? Okay.

Can we say pub games are like a two? Fuck yeah. I like that. Pub games are great.

Horseshoes. I feel like goes for that. Fucking long darts. Cornhole dude.

I feel like those competitive cornhole freaks are out of this world. How about this person that wins the most gold medals every year has to invent a new event for the next. Oh, like winning a fucking eating contest and then you get to make a menu item. Yeah.

Let's go dude. Yes. Winter of most medals. Who has to?

I like these. It has to. Like it is a great bird come up with a new event from scratch. That's a three to me easy.

That's so good. That's good. Dude. Can I give you a three I think?

Yeah. Jump rope dude. What about jump rope? What about that?

Oh, how about this? It starts when the first sport starts and they have. Oh my God. Everyone all the performers performers the competitors begin when the Olympics begin and it's just how many how many days of the Olympics can you go without stopping that is what I mean there.

I was thinking next to the Eiffel Tower. Sure. Just so you could see him drop. I was thinking more about treating it like break dancing and it's like double Dutch when people are doing fucking kick flips and fucking cartwheels and like freestyle aspect of then you get a score.

Yeah. You just get. Yo-yoing bro. Yo-yo sucks dude.

You know what I'm gonna do this one? Yo-yo. Yo-yo. You know that one.

Fucking sucks but it has to be a two because you would see one thing at least where you were just like what? And then you're like but think about the storylines this fucking 12 year old kid from like fucking India pops up and he's like the yo-yo prodigy. Yeah. He's yo-yo-yo.

What about? What about like Tetherball? The motherfuckers would be whipping. Oh no.

Tetherball. Okay. I think that schoolyard games are a three. Tetherball dude.

I mean this is squid game at this point but you would get just like people blasting holes in each other. It's scary. Yeah I agree but I do love yard games. I like it.

I think that there's not enough like we're not giving enough. We're not doing a skill competition with our professional athletes. Dude what about knockout? Knockout is sick.