One Sided Sex #797

A husband wrote in after our episode with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. He appreciated it but wanted more on the man's side. His wife feels connected to him through sex. But 95% of the time she's not aroused. She has a good attitude about it. She participates. And then when he gets in the shower, she goes and uses a vibrator by herself — because she feels pressured by him to enjoy it when he's there. He named his dilemma clearly: accept the one-sided sex and eventually resent it, or say no to sex entirely and feel disconnected. He's tried both. Neither works. He called himself stuck. He's not wrong that both paths are painful. But there's something worth looking at underneath the dilemma he named — something the vibrator detail revealed that he almost buried in the middle of his own letter. His presence is the pressure. Not his intention. Not something he's doing wrong on purpose. But his needing her to enjoy it, his hoping this time will be different, his watching to see how she responds — that's what's in the room with her every time. And she can only get there when he leaves. Corey and Pam unpack both sides of this one — what he's actually after that he hasn't been willing to name, and what she's discovered about herself that she hasn't brought into the marriage yet. "How often do we think the issue is one thing when in fact it's also another thing entirely." The post One Sided Sex #797 first appeared on Sexy Marriage Radio.