❣OnMySleeve X: Fear and Loathing In New York City

This is the tenth mix in the <3onMySleeve mix series. The Title is pretty self-explanatory for anybody who's read the book or seen the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. This set was recorded in the darkest hour of my life. The details of my state of mind are not really something I feel like divulging, all I will say is that it was recorded on my phone using a DJ app while I was walking around Brooklyn, in the rain, very late at night. The only question is, who is it directed toward? At the time I recorded it with someone else in mind, someone who'd taken advantage of my kindness while I was in a very vulnerable state. But since this dark night of the soul, I realized it was really intended for myself, a subconscious message which I was unable and unwilling to realize that I needed to hear. Its a very sloppy and eratic mix using FX styles Ive neved used before and likely never will again. I've tried re-recording this to perfect it, numerous times.. as I felt the track selections were good, and I thought the recording was too raw and rough to post. However, after several failed attempts I realized I was trying to do the impossible. The imperfections are part of the message. The erratic nature of my mixing and use of FX tell a story that are completely separate from the overall message, and so I realized after several attempts to try to mix the same tracks at a later date always ended up to my pressing stop knowing that despite perfect mixing, something was off. Sometimes we need to be true as artists and just unleash the rawest form of ourselves, otherwise the moment is completely lost in time. I realized that trying to cleanse this hotbed of sin only diluted the entire essence of insanity that this mix depicts. The more I've listened to it, the more my entire idea of its message has changed and the more I've realized it's not something I could ever even consider replicating. Its probably one of the most honest and true to myself mixes that I've ever recorded, all in my darkest hour. And I'm not using hyperbole when I say "darkest hour"... it truly was exactly that. Enjoy!