Our Smiles Have Changed

What this episode covers

Looking back now, everything that happened, the way it happened was a reason. From not being believed to outcast, to being believed because you told the truth the whole time. You would rather tell the truth, even if it hurts then to lie. Which burns bridge, never can be trusted or believed ever again. The humiliation would be sent back to the sender. The two individuals, one who was nurse and the other one who became a doctor to only destroy your creditability, reputation and career. Violating HIPPA, PHI, breaking federal laws and breaking someone’s confidentiality without their permission was it worth? Our smiles have changed, they never change, you had to go through the darkness the humiliation to be in the light again which meant you were healed. I am strict on my rights and if you violate them, that is on you. You knew what you were doing, you just didn’t think I would stand up for myself. This wasn’t about just myself, you could do this to many more victims because you didn’t care. “The oath” I took to share the truth, to stand up for what was right. It was never based on revenge, it went through the grueling process to help others. I could have the one representing me to speak for me, but I didn’t. I am not afraid of much of anything, because what I was afraid of , I went through. It taught me to not be afraid. Plus already had a lifetime restraining order against someone already. It was out of my own safety. When I took “The Oath”, I took it seriously. You will never hurt me or anyone else like that again. It is on your record permanently and it will follow you everywhere. None of this had happen if you grew up, but you never did, You rather play the victim, never take accountability and blame others for your mistakes. I do choose to forgive, but I don’t forget. I will never be able to forget. Unfortunately one of things I developed when I was abused was photographic memory and the ability to remember what hurt me, but not remember all the good moments I had. Not that I chose to forget those moments, and that only chose to remember everything horrible. To describe what I mean by brain injury this is what I mean, our Hippocampus becomes smaller, and can change our prefrontal cortex of our decision-making and other functions. The detachment or disassociation of our childhood or horrible memories. This triggers the chronic response of fight or flight, that can’t be reversed. I promise it isn’t in your head, what you are experiencing and feeling is very real. In my case because I have been in survival mode for so long, my brain started to miss fire, and that’s where these autoimmune diseases come in. Our bodies store stress and trauma, that if not released becomes an autoimmune disease or it makes us very sick. For years I was ashamed for what I did, for what happened to me. I am not perfect, I learned from my mistakes, made amends to the ones I hurt, while taking care of myself. So when I say our smiles have changed, I mean when something died inside of us, sparked something new that was restored in us. It took awhile to get here, but everything happens for a reason.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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