Overcoming Esav through Yosef and Mordechai - VaYesee

 וַיְהִ֕י כַּאֲשֶׁ֛ר יָלְדָ֥ה רָחֵ֖ל אֶת־יוֹסֵ֑ף וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יַעֲקֹב֙אֶל־לָבָ֔ן שַׁלְּחֵ֙נִי֙ וְאֵ֣לְכָ֔ה אֶל־מְקוֹמִ֖י וּלְאַרְצִֽי׃  After Rachel hadborne Joseph, Jacob said to Laban, “Give me leave to go back to my ownhomeland.     כאשר ילדה רחל אתיוסף WHEN RACHEL HAD BORN JOSEPH — after the birth of him who was to becomeEsau’s adversary (Genesis Rabbah 73:7) — as it is said (Obadiah 1:18) “And thehouse of Jacob shall be a fire, and the house of Joseph a flame and the houseof Esau for stubble“. Fire (Jacob) that has no flame (Joseph) has no effect ata distance. Therefore, when Joseph was born Jacob put his trust in the HolyOne, blessed be He, and wished to return home (Obadiah 1:18).     Rashi explainsthat Rikvah had sent Devorah to get Ya’akov to tell him it was safe to comeback as she had promised. And Yishak sent two servants     Rashi explains that she was therebecause Rebecca was fulfilling a promise she made to Jacob 36 years earlier. Asher son was departing to Charan,she told him, “I will send for you and bring you from there [and bring youhome].”5 Sending Deborah to her son was her way of keepingher promise to send for him and bring him home.   The Medrash (Esther Rabba 7:9) tells us that it is areference to a conversation that occurred between Mordechai and the servants ofthe King. The King’s servants asked Mordechai, why do you refuse to bow down toHaman especially in light of the fact that your ancestors bowed down before theancestors of Haman? Mordechai asked, 'Which of my ancestors bowed downbefore the ancestors of Haman?' The King's servants replied, 'Did notyour ancestor Yaakov bow down before Eisav his brother, who was Haman’s ancestor?'Mordechaianswered, 'I am descended from Binaymin and when Yaakov bowed down beforeEisav, Binyamin was not yet born and he did not bow down before any human allhis days... Just as my forefather did not bow to Eisav, I who hail from thetribe Binyamin ('ish yemini') will not bow to his descendanteither.'    TheGemara in Megilla (17a) teaches that Yosef disappeared from his father fortwenty-two years 'mida k'neged mida,' corresponding to the twenty-twoyears that Yaakov did not honor his parents while he was in Lavan's house. (The Gemara in Megillah 16b teaches thatYaakov was not punished for the fourteen years he spent learning in YeshivasShem V'Ever as Rabba said in the name of Rav Shmuel Bar Marta 'The studyof Torah is greater than honoring parents' - see also Shulchan Aruch YorehDeah 240:13)