Overcoming the Burden: An Adoptee's Journey to Self-Love and Community

In this heartfelt episode of the Resilience Project podcast, Julie Brumley sits down with Jennifer Skiles - an adoptee and author - to explore the deep roots of the "I am a burden" belief and how it shapes the lives of adoptees. They discuss becoming aware of this inner narrative, healing through community, faith, and self-compassion, and the transformative power of sharing stories.Key topics:The impact of early abandonment and societal messaging on adoptee self-perceptionHow writing a story and embracing vulnerability facilitated healingThe role of faith and spirituality in recovering identity and hopeRecognizing harmful patterns like people-pleasing and shrinking to avoid being a burdenThe importance of community, shared pain, and belonging in healingPractical steps: trying new approaches, setting boundaries, visiting inner children, and practicing self-compassionThe significance of safe spaces for adoptees to process their experiencesThe upcoming "You Are Not a Burden" online gatheringChapters:  02:01 - The deeply rooted belief "I am a burden" among adoptees 03:41 - Jennifer shares her story of reuniting with her biological father 05:57 - How writing her book helped Jennifer own her story and heal 07:27 - The emotional process of feeling heard for the first time 10:23 - How the burden belief influenced relationships and behaviors 12:18 - Experiences of abandonment and not feeling accepted 14:16 - Societal pressure and feeling lucky versus feeling loved 15:28 - The "life gap" and missing early childhood memories 17:39 - Adoption statistics and societal misconceptions 19:40 - The importance of community for adoptees’ healing 22:21 - The power of shared stories and recognition 23:50 - Supporting each other through vulnerability and connection 24:44 - The impact of the burden belief on relationships and fears of rejection 26:02 - Faith and spirituality as sources of stability and healing 29:14 - Visiting inner children to foster self-love 30:07 - The body’s role in processing trauma 32:46 - Dispel misconceptions and set healthy boundaries 34:18 - How trying something different can shift perspectives 36:54 - The necessity of self-compassion in healing journeys 38:24 - Recognizing what is meant to be left behind 41:19 - Celebrating loved ones and releasing grief creatively 43:47 - The upcoming online gathering "You Are Not a Burden" 44:30 - What to do if you feel hesitant about engaging 46:33 - The role of community versus doing it alone 47:58 - Building safe spaces for raw, authentic conversations 50:27 - The relief of being understood without explanation 52:02 - Encouragement to take the first step even with resistance 54:03 - Reshaping beliefs through new actions and perspectives 57:24 - The importance of belonging over independence 58:24 - Details on the free online event and ongoing connection opportunitiesLinks - Jennifer Skiles' Book "Vault of Treasures"You Are Not a Burden - Online GatheringThe Adoption Roadmap PodcastRelinquished by Gretchen SissonConnect with Jennifer on InstagramWebsiteInstagram: @juliebrumley_Facebook: julierasbrumTikTok: @juliebrumley_Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook GroupYou Tube: @julie_brumley