When Culture and Parenting Collide: Breaking Generational Cycles and Staying Close to Your Child

Ask Rachel anything How do you raise a child when the culture you're parenting in is very different from the one that raised you? And what happens when your teenager begins questioning the traditions, expectations and values that have shaped your family for generations? In this episode of Teenagers Untangled, I talk to Gen Z podcaster Amma Browngirl, who grew up in England in a Punjabi immigrant family, about what it feels like to be caught between two cultures — loving where you come from while also wanting the freedom to decide who you are. Amma talks candidly about growing up with expectations around body image, modesty, marriage, dating and what it meant to be a “good” daughter. She describes feeling like the black sheep of her family, the pressure of community judgement, and eventually deciding that she needed to leave home at 18. We also talk about something increasingly painful for many families: adult children distancing themselves or going no contact with their parents. Amma explains why she needed space from her family, what happened during that separation, and how she and her parents eventually managed to rebuild their relationship. What's particularly powerful is that this isn't a story about simply blaming parents. Amma reflects on the enormous challenges faced by immigrant parents who arrive in a new country, often without language, money or a support network, while carrying expectations from the culture they left behind. We explore how parents can break generational cycles without rejecting their culture, how community expectations can influence the way we respond to our children, and why maintaining connection sometimes requires both generations to change. Amma also shares what she wishes her parents had understood when she was a teenager: the importance of having real conversations, creating a home where children feel safe enough to tell us what's happening in their lives, and remembering that however independent our children become, they still want the love and acceptance of their parents. It's a fascinating conversation about immigrant parenting, cultural expectations, generational trauma, identity, parent-child relationships and family estrangement — but ultimately it's about something that crosses every culture: how we give our children room to become themselves without losing our relationship with them. AMMA BROWN GIRL: https://shows.acast.com/amma-brown-girl-1 https://www.instagram.com/ammabrowngirl/ Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook