The vital parenting shift: becoming a mentor to your teen

Ask Rachel anything Welcome to a special mini-series from Teenagers Untangled — seven simple, practical "parenting seeds" to plant over a week, preparing for when your child moves into secondary school or returns from summer. These are gentle shifts, not rules to perfect: They're designed to help you focus on what really matters, and reduce your stress. They'll help you to move from fixing problems to mentoring your child, build emotional safety at home, and give your teen the confidence to make good choices. These are the big picture things I wish I had known much earlier in the teen years. If you'd like an early release of this information and daily email reminders as the series unfolds, and more support, join me on Substack Seven seeds: Changing gears: be explicit about the shift in your parenting from monitoring to mentoring. Make home safe and predictable: create routines and anchors so home feels stable amid constant change. Catch them doing good: notice and praise strengths to build a positive identity and reduce fear of mistakes. Listen until they feel understood (LUFU): use super silence and active listening; summarise and ask before offering advice. Model what you want to see: especially with technology: demonstrate the habits you want your teen to adopt. Be curious about yourself: notice triggers, respond with curiosity not criticism, and model emotional regulation. Talk to your kids before others do: proactively discuss vaping, pornography, nudes, drugs, alcohol and groomers. Role-play responses so they’re prepared before they come under pressure. Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook