Parenting Your Parents in Midlife and Perimenopause and Menopause

Welcome ☕Hello, Menobodies!Welcome to another cozy coffee chat. Imagine we’re sitting together catching up for a bit.Today I’m sipping an iced split-shot oat milk latte with stevia. And yes… I felt very cool the first time I learned to order a “split shot.”My coffee order has actually changed a lot since starting nutrition therapy, and I’ll share more about that journey in a future episode.So grab your favorite drink and let’s chitty chat.Today’s Topic: Parenting Our ParentsLately I’ve noticed that so many friends are entering a similar phase of life — parenting our parents.Are you in this phase too?Or maybe you’re wondering:Am I in this phase yet?Should I be stepping in more?Is this normal?Let’s talk about what this can look like.The Lighter SideSometimes parenting our parents looks like gently correcting them or guiding them through everyday things.For example:Telling them not to order products from random Facebook adsExplaining that an email threatening to shut off their Wi-Fi unless they send their bank information… is a scam(Yes, we’ve had a few of those conversations with my dad.)Or maybe you’re questioning some of their choices:Like my friend recently asking her parents why two people need six giant jars of mayonnaise in the pantry.The Harder SideThen there are the more serious moments.Parenting our parents can also look like:Learning about MedicareHelping them find 24-hour care or assisted livingManaging health decisionsGetting constant calls or texts and thinking, “What happened now?”Maybe someone fell down the stairs.Maybe they hit their head.Sometimes it involves difficult conversations like:Stopping drivingLeaving their homeMoving somewhere saferAnd for some of you, this journey has included walking alongside a parent through illness and eventually death.That comes with grief and often very complicated emotions.All of the Feelings Are AllowedNo matter your story:Someone who had a beautiful childhoodSomeone whose childhood was complicatedSomeone who loves their parents deeplySomeone still working through painEvery emotion is validIf you’re helping guide your parents, protecting them, or stepping in to manage their wellbeing in ways they once did for you…You are likely parenting your parents.Let’s pause together and take a slow, deep breath.When Our Minds Go to “The Last Time”Sometimes my mind goes to thoughts like:“Was that the last time my dad will drive to visit me?”And eventually maybe I’ll be the one always going to see him.Anyone else go there?Or is it just me?You might be thinking:“Beth… maybe run that one by your therapist.”And yes — therapists have therapists.I like to call them grand-therapists.Letting Thoughts Float ByWhen those thoughts show up, I try not to spiral too far into them.Instead I try to:Notice the thoughtAllow the feelingLet it passFighting or suppressing thoughts often makes them stronger.Acknowledging them — letting them exist — can help them move past us.Like a cloud floating across the sky.The Bottom LineThis phase of life is hard.It’s hard whether:You’re still jogging alongside your parent in everyday life, orYou’re visiting your mother in a nursing home.Let’s not dismiss the emotions that come with these transitions.Sometimes I catch myself thinking:“I shouldn’t feel this sad.”“I shouldn’t be this emotional about my dad.”But the truth is…You are allowed.You Are Not AloneOthers are having these same thoughts.Others are feeling these same emotions.If you’re struggling, consider checking in with someone:A friendA spiritual leaderA therapist(Yes… I will always recommend therapists!)Also check in with yourself.Give yourself permission to:CryFeel sadGet angryFall apart a littleA Simple Emotional Release TipOne strategy I often suggest to clients:Open your Notes app on your phone and tap the voice recording icon.Then just talk.Pretend you’re telling a trusted friend everything that’s going on.You don’t have to listen to it again.You don’t have to keep it.Just let it out.A Reminder for Our Menobodies CommunityMenobodies — and everyone listening — you are not alone.If you’re feeling alone, please reach out:InstagramFacebookEmailConnection mattersA Small FavorIf this show helps you feel a little less alone,I’d love your help growing the community.Here are two quick ways you can support the show:⭐ Leave a reviewScroll down on the podcast page and leave a star rating.(I’d give it five stars, but I may be slightly biased.)📩 Share the showCopy the episode link and text it to a few friends.Let’s make sure more people know they’re not alone either.Until Our Next Coffee ChatKeep living authentically — with all your emotions and thoughts.Every single one of them is allowed.Talk soon,Beth ☕Connect with Beth:💌 Email: [email protected] 📱 Instagram & Facebook: @menobodies🌐 Website: www.menobodies.com/home🗞️Newsletter:www.menobodies.com/newsletter