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Bitchy's and Scratchy's welcome to another episode of Jesse and Wilder's Guide to Life. I'm Jesse, that's Wilder. We're here to cut your life! Oh, sweet.

Yeah, I tried to... Okay, so we had a low... Wilder and I was right, we got on both of it, had a couple of sleepy poopy's. So I just...

Turn it up to 12. It do one... Do one... When you turn it up to 12 real quick.

You want to just turn it up to 12? Yeah, just say anything but like turn it right up to 12. I'm really excited to be here today. Yeah, there he is.

We're cutting a wrestling promo for some reason. Tell him you're fucking undertaker that he's a bitch, I guess. McGrath V. Yeah.

Before we get into... Do you have anything you want to talk about? I have something I want to talk about. Sounds like you should just get into it.

I have a breaking poison report here from iwaspoison.com. I did say that I was thinking about... Who's breaking as we speak? Yeah, I did.

Breaking, I mean, it happened one week ago. Breaking here on this podcast. I sort through... So I'm not going to do this every time.

I did do it last time so it feels like, oh he's going to do it every time. I couldn't and I shouldn't and I won't. However, this one I couldn't resist and so I just thought I'd pass to you guys. Iwaspoison.com if you'd listen to the last episode, a little home for people to just talk about how they got sick.

And I threw all of it, the vomits and the diarrhea's to bring you the precious little nuggets. And I have... Somebody's got to do it. Right.

It's like a letter box for food poisoning. And so I have one of the longer ones that I've ever seen in my tenure here, my two years stay here at the... I was poisoned in. This is from Chipotle on Kitty Hawk Road in Universal City, Texas.

Which I did. Who's with all been there? Yeah, for sure. Okay.

So you're going to have to buckle up a little bit here. Okay. Let me... I'm going to have to go to the chair.

Oh, cool. Sure. And drink... Drink.

Drink. Cool. Unbuckled in. Okay.

So we're at Chipotle here at the Kitty Hawk Road. Sunday, January 28th at around 6 p.m. I went in to order a salad bowl. This is tight because it starts like an episode of SVU or something.

It's like a police report. I asked what the asada looked like because I... Because I... Suspect approached the counter.

I asked what the asada looked like because I didn't wasn't sure if it was on the line or what. I don't know what that means. Like are they cooking it on the line? As opposed to like it's coming down from up above.

I don't know what the alternative is. So the guy working the line... Whole eye later, the typo. I don't know what they mean to say though.

Found to be... Oh, who I later found to be a manager said quote, it's over there. Let me go get it. He walked around the corner, grabbed tongs and put the asada meat on my salad which were large chucks by the way.

It doesn't say chunks. I assume it means chunks but it does say chucks. But the silver pan was just sitting on a counter near the drive through pickup line. Like a randomly placed there where it did not belong.

So that was weird. And I didn't want them to eat. What was sitting there? Asada I think.

Okay. So I think what was happening is the asada was... I think the asada was on the line. I wonder if the metal bin that they keep the meat in wasn't present.

And they said let me see what they need to do. I see. Yes, they had not put the asada into the assembly line. But it was loose by the drive through window which by the way I don't think I've ever seen a chipotle with a drive through.

Not to say that they don't exist but I have not witnessed one personally. Well, eating a salad was very easy to do in your car and a graph. It makes sense. So it was a place where it didn't belong.

So that was weird. And I didn't want them to eat. I just wanted to visualize it first and then choose. So after the other toppings were out of the cashier...

You don't realize it. That's not... Then you don't need to see it to do that. But close those eyes.

They do visualize. Yeah, open up the mind's eye. Dumb, dumb. The cashier rang up my order.

Okay, so after the other toppings were out of the cashier rang up my order and it came out to almost $18 exclamation point. So I asked to speak to the manager. So he comes up and I asked... By the way, I want to tell you, we are halfway through this.

So far they have not even eaten the food. Usually the people here at this station are... Yeah, complaining to the manager about the rice is funny. Yeah.

So he comes up and I ask him, why is it so expensive? He said because of the asotomy. And I said, well, I didn't even want it. And then in parentheses, I usually get a vegetable.

But I wanted to try the chicken or asada since I saw the limited time sign. So he said, okay, I'll just charge you for a chicken bowl. So I said, okay, I went home right after parentheses. So hungry because I haven't eaten anything today but some cereal for breakfast.

Wait, hold on, hold on. I know this is not the point. But is it asada bowl from Chipotle really $18? I mean, who knows what they got, dude.

They could have got the fucking double guac. They could have got... Who'd like, just plain rice and just double rice, double beans and else? Yeah, you know how it go.

I opened it and the meat was so cold. So has three o's, so cold. It have me weird vibes. Oh, merge, dude, merge.

It have me weird vibes. So I removed it all. It had me weird vibes. So I removed it all.

Okay, wait, let me start this over. I have to get this one out in one. Okay. I opened it and the meat was so cold.

It had me weird vibes. So I removed it all. And my husband tried a piece and said, yeah, I would meet that. I ate the salad but removed the meat.

I did try a few pieces. Oh. I did try. I didn't help himself.

I did have a damn siren song about 18 dollars. This is a little taste. A little cold, drive through window meat. I did try a few pieces and took pictures before I ate it, just in case.

Like Edmund to the Turkish Delight. I simply cannot resist. Okay, so I took pictures of eight just in case. And guess what?

It's midnight right now and I'm shitting my life out. I guess what, dude. You're never going to guess it. This nasty cold meat gave me the tummy.

I have a horrible stomach. What is the temperature you have to do with it? I have horrible stomach cramps and abdominal pain. Two exclamation points.

I knew it seemed sketch. Two exclamation points. I knew this nasty meat was nasty. Why did I eat it?

That's my memoir time, by the way. Okay, this is a newer location I've never been to. I want my money back and will be contacting them tomorrow in hopes they start using proper food temperature protocol and safety to exclamation points. We almost gave a piece to my dog.

Imagine. So it's like, hey gang, don't give Chipotle to your dog, please. Like cold, not cold. Asana chicken, vegetable.

Stay away, please. Your dog is not going to be like, ooh, I actually prefer the sofritos. Oh my god. I'm going to do that next time.

You want to talk about shitting my life out? If we gave Archie our dog, like more than like three just like loose beans from Chipotle burrito, he would be shitting until the end of his life. Like you can't. Yeah, for a dog for sure.

But for a human being, I do not think, much like probably 75% of what's happening on IWISN.com, that this is the sole culprit of what is happening here. I don't think that if you really did sneak, you're tasting a little bit more so you had a couple bites. If unless you're lying, you know, there's a no fib zone, don't tolerate that here. Correct.

But if you got a couple of bites and you're, what is it, shitting their life away? Yeah, something else is happening. It is not a couple of cubes of steak. I had some cold steak just last night.

Look at me. I'm stronger than ever. Yeah. I mean, it's like you can't.

Cold Chipotle steak, dude. Yeah. It's like, oh, these dirt eater, this dirt made me sick. I normally eat dirt all the time and it's fine, but this soil's bad.

It's like, well, I think we have bigger fish to fry here. Okay, I'm almost done here. Let me finish this up. I almost gave a piece to my dog.

My husband is having cramping, but hasn't had diarrhea yet. Two exclamation points, update 125 AM. Husband has diarrhea now. I'm cramping in bed.

Because he had a little taste. He's got to be patient zero. This food is like how mad cow starts. Okay, I got this for you though.

This is what I needed. We're going to bring it home. Okay. This is the grand finale.

Symptoms. No, I'm cramping in bed. Symptoms, nausea, diarrhea, cramps, stomach pain, hashtag Chipotle Mexican grill, hashtag universal city, hashtag Texas, hashtag US, hashtag chicken, hashtag salad, hashtag veggie, hashtag bull, hashtag bowl, hashtag meat, hashtag cereal. Okay, no, these things is not like the other.

If you recall, in sentence three or four of this, she said she was so hungry because the only thing she had eaten was cereal. So the hashtag is extremely relevant in that sense. I see it's just sort of a table of contents really more than a set of hash tags. Yes, correct.

Hey, I got something to say about Chipotle. Welcome to Wobbies Chipotle Corner, New segment. Interesting. New Year, New Me.

I'm into the burritos now. Oh, you shared that in my whole life. You shared that. They said they're too small.

They don't work that badup. I take it back. That's it. It's like this is like so like clearly like you move to a place that doesn't have Mexican food anymore.

Yeah, dude. I'm like, it's like, it's like when you look at a person and you see a big chicken wing. Yeah. I'm like a cartoon.

But I only like my coal this out of me, I do not eat it hot. But first I get my husband to taste it. So you can have a little one a.m. diarrhea.

Okay. So we should talk about what we're talking about, which is podcasts. We've been talking. Yeah.

Hey, we've been here the whole time guys. We are the podcast. Speaking of podcasts, I figured out how to use my computer turns out not that hard. Spotify we can get a little bit of engagement in our last episode Vegas We said what happens in Vegas fill in the blank and we got a couple of responses.

Oh a couple of responses Yeah, a pair a two for that's a good is a couple you're not wrong about that one from Kavya jolly Make makes wobbly into a real-life Charlie day sure the second one we got is from discount What happens in Vegas is a loss for the Chiefs and a win for the Ninas? Oh, hell yeah, baby And they did Ninas like a Boston accent, which is confusing to me What sucks is that this episode's gonna come out after the Super Bowl And like this will be prophetic or it will burn me so bad So something on podcasts that's good to do is not what we're doing right now. Yeah, I have okay I have some ideas. Can I tell you my ideas for categories?

Mm-hmm. One is hosts. Okay. The us is very quite lit.

I think Jabu obviously, let's get that done. Yeah, that's all three. Okay, next one I think topic or topic is I guess this is like genre maybe genre is the better term here because there's different genres of podcasts segments a segment a category or a thing so I think segments is a category I don't think it's exactly the way we're thinking about it, but I do think it's like how about like attributes is that a category hmm Attributes and segments feel the same to me right? I'm saying like attributes, okay, okay.

All things that happen on yes. Yes attributes. Yeah, okay Let's start let's start with this so host job. I think segments are very pretty good.

Oh I like you. What's the knock on them? Tell me why it's not a three well What if you don't like it and you have to hear it all the time what the beauty of a segment is that it's so it's such a Fashion of hand, you know, like we get a beans. Oh every what like once every three episodes are begging for more brother.

They're not They're not here's something that I should say I don't listen to any podcast. Yeah, I sort of do I sort of do Doll space I was a couple episodes I used to listen to my brother my brother and me and then COVID happened and I stopped commuting and I have not touched a podcast since So I really don't fucking know anything I assume that they're all a bunch of white people talking in Casper mattress ads. Is that still the deal? I think yes Casper is probably a little bit dated on that one, but there is some of the old stand by now maybe some of the old Standbys are still there like stitch fix stitch fix still staple in those advertisements.

Sure. Okay So you don't very much listen to podcasts. I have like a collection of I don't really know I don't have an example of a good one That's why the ours is so like I'm trying to carry ours because I know what it's like It's like why I was trying to write a book, but he's didn't never learn how to read, you know what I mean I can't read yeah, and that is exactly what's happening I listen to a handful of like comedy podcasts during the The NFL season I listen to a lot of sports podcasts. So we'll get into it But I have it actually listen I just listen to all politics.

I didn't say that earlier But like I just like tons of politics really well first. I think okay I do okay genre news slash politics I think is it too because I hate it, but it is a good way to get your news if you want to get your news Mm-hmm, you know like it's cool. It's better than watching like your local news Effective though is an effective way to get news how like how I'd rather just listen to like the morning Alexa NPR briefing like it's so much more timely Oh, yeah, but that's a but they released that as a podcast show so I'm counting that But you listen into the news podcast every day no no no not me dude I'm ignorant, but I'm saying like lots of like there was a stretch where I was listening to the New York Times daily every day Sure, which is like kind of dials in on one topic Like a lot of people do listen to like there's like an NPR day and the cool thing about those is they're often like 20 minutes Oh time dude. We got to talk about time.

It's a book. But so it's attributes. So it's a minute. It's very quite lit Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna say 30 and under not like us And it's funny how many things we're gonna acknowledge are better than the way we do it and then not do those I do think a bonus point is rubrics like we I do think we're on do it I mean And could be fully fictionalized yeah, it's not they hear me clicking a clack and they know it's not Um boy, they sure do but just my best efforts they still hear you click in the clock sucka got the loudest keyboard on the block I have a particularly large bone to pick with a specific host type, okay?

And I'm gonna just say I'm gonna say it to everyone you could show it to all these people that you know and you make sure They heard it for me first. Yeah Celebrities that are already famous can get the fuck off my block. I'm tired like Dax Shepard get out of here Hey, Jason Bateman take a fucking hike. I love your work.

This isn't for you. It's extreme. It's infuriating You guys already have platforms get out. I agree go on but also People I feel like see that makes I agree with you for me because like I have like maybe one Podcast and in that case it's like what I choose all these fucking dash shepherds are up in my beans And then that is a bottleneck But if you're one of these fucking Johnny bananas who listens to 80 million fucking podcasts a week It seems like there's room for the job who's to Right, that's fine.

I agree and I appreciate that. I'm not there to be room for us I just think that if you are will our net how much more do you have to fucking say dude? You get so much work like if you got some big thing to say about like I don't know how much you love your fucking Honda Sonata, why don't you just tweet it brother get off our block is all I'm saying I don't need it's fine I'm not I don't care about yeah, that's fine. I don't listen to any of them So I can't really find them.

I know people love them. Yeah, that's I hate it and like I'm fine with me I just feel like okay. What about what about legitimate interviews? Yeah, I think that's a genre like an interview podcast and I think it's like in that case I'm interested in hearing a celeb Right, and I think that's the okay So but that's the thing right is like I want this is a perfect example I want to listen to a podcast like take Mark marin podcast for example, he's like famous now, but he wasn't famous when he got the podcast really semi famous I would not put him in the city's not like an a-list-alib He brings on a list or to interview don't fucking come in here and tell marin that he's own Mary-Dude me and marin are fucking and the same wrong as far as I'm concerned I If he's interviewing people like a list of labs I think that's great good interviewer doing good thing if it's the reverse if it's like oh I'm Barack Obama And I'm I'm interviewing people no dude You already got all your shine you can just go away But if you're an interviewer you become like Sean Evans is like the most famous guy on the planet Yeah, also I think I think Sean Evans by the way is bad interviewing you got a beef Yeah, I got beef don't eat it was sitting by the drive-through window it'll fucking poison you What do you think happened to that beef?

Dude, I don't I don't know I She was just trying to visualize it through the open window. She was trying to visualize it It wasn't even from what's an even from Chipotle a crowbar in through the open window and just They did a trade at the drive-through. They swapped a burrito for some loose glove box meat that somebody had Time-wise an hour is very pretty good. Yeah, yes, and then obviously anything over an hour go to hell Yeah, I'll give you like you get you get to an hour 15 and like that's the limit and there are some you know There are some team.

I know there are some podcasts that I do listen to like all fantasy everything great podcast shout out Like that shit oftentimes they don't even get to the actual episode until and out like an hour in those are like two and a half hours long Well, that's because those people are good at their job Hosts that to me is a perfect host like knit like semi-famous comedian. Can we agree that that is like the the ideal hosts? Yes, shout out to Bory Shout out to Ian Carmel shot to Sean Jordan Just everyone that's like 80 millers been on that show because he's been on that show very good. Okay.

Yeah, someone say equal to us in both Talented scale. Yeah, us and Marin dude. We're all in the same tier. Uh-huh.

Okay, genre Dude, I people love people love true crime dude. What do you think about that? I? I'm fucking burned to own it Personally, I did it.

I did my time. I did the crime and now I am done with it Yeah, I I agree. I think that I'm gonna say if some hot new shit came out there Everybody was talking about like another fucking cereal. I would probably I would probably consider it Yeah, I'd write in wouldn't you I feel that way?

I'm gonna add nuts and bolts and this is like the necessities of podcast Okay, this is like for example the ad break you have to have the ad break We did a podcast for a very long time where we put an ad break in we didn't even have paid advertisements That's how important ad breaks are so and it was arguably the only good part of the show. That's most of the time. Yeah, so ad break I do think is a one obviously right like I'm skipping it every time. Do you agree with that?

Yeah, and that's the best part is you just get right over them I mean it is so superior to like say like a YouTube ad where you have to sit there and watch the first 10 seconds I just give a blast through those podcast ones intro song dude. I like I need something. I need a funky intro song Obviously, we have that locked in if it's done by bad talk. Yeah, big time.

I like Lore Ooh tell me more recurring characters and themes and references. I like I like some world building, you know, okay I'm gonna put that in attributes. We give that a three. I like that we've built ourselves a fun little Jabu Niverse over here, you know, yeah, I think I think it's best we could at least you know Walkies out there they try to make this house a home.

That's for sure The most bonkers merch you could ever have is one of those Long signs and it says in this house we believe in job and that's in on the back It's our flag dude. Yeah with the fucking dragon and the sandwich on it. Yes I'm gonna just put along because we have funky intro song. I'm gonna put around put along sick logo I hate and that's gonna be also we're gonna put Adam Fay on a bonus point.

Obviously that Barack Obama doesn't have a real life HBO Cartoon Network animator doing his fucking logo. I'll tell you that much. That's true as fuck and also How about to merits AI art hire a fucking illustrator? You dip shits.

Oh my god. You can find someone give someone a job fucking We underpaid the hell out of a but we he's still a person that did it. Yeah, absolutely Well, I say we gave him this big break honestly with the frozen cover. That's true That was also frozen was not him.

Oh, that was Ezra. Yes, because frozen was disgusting Disgusting art We had a podcast at college for those we don't know and the image was us as a two two headed boy I believe and our oh no, it was we were two separate boys. We're two separate boys There was a frozen packaged meal betwixt us and our tongues were each slarped on it. It's very very awful Yeah, I where we the taste test genre.

I think is it too, huh? Yeah, it's a two no thanks to us about backwards Chronological recap show is probably a very not quite well I think yeah, I think ours is good and I will say the most successful podcast I've ever been on has nothing to do with Wilder despite the fact that we've had three I Did a breaking bad recap show and this was back when breaking bad was on the air so we were still in the sort of episode recap is a good time Yes, it's sort of the infancy. I think I Don't know I think that that market has been so saturated that I want to give it a one I feel like there are so especially since every show like HBO comes out with a new show and there are like six It's like apples official recap show HBO's official recap show the official after show of this thing It's gone through by paramount. I think I think it's very pretty good because the the indie ones were just a couple of fans in their mama's basement I like that.

I want to hear what you have to say about fucking young Sheldon this week, but the apples official Toss it. Yeah, what the fuck does apple know about what happened on succession last week? Yeah, not a damn thing nobody does Okay, good. This is good Nuts and bolts dude.

What about advice? I think that's a very quite lit. It's just boundless options in it There's there's so much room for good shit with advice. Yeah, I agree You just have to have the audience built in which I do think attributes having an audience is a three huh?

Really makes the sort of the thing that stirs the drink a little bit there really helpful I A dating stories podcast With dear friend Anna Gilchrist where do we put like like romance and dating? I think that's very pretty good that feels a little bit like advice to was that not an advice show? Well, no because no one in the right mind would have asked for our advice. Okay.

God. I got it It was mostly just us talking about our blenders and our bumbles and our boopsies. Yeah, okay Yeah, romance and dating I would agree as a two because it's that's like so dependent on the host you eat like that's that's not like true crime Where it's like okay, whatever. I'm interested in the story.

That's like do I care about these people at all fucking God is a very Not quite a god cast Okay, wait a minute or do those exist they must right there has to be religious are they there's no way I just made that up? No, there has to be oh my god Are we missing out like should we get into this market though? Like is this on God has a podcast? Whoa what god though forever dog podcast network?

Oh, it's a god. It's oh, it's the god Twitter account. Oh fuck that dude That's like fucking dude fucking dude. Oh my god social media celebrities and like influencers and all go to her Yeah, oh the Taylor Swift Super Bowl preview for the god pod No, I want like some heady I want just like four and a half hours of reading fucking the the book of Psalms That's Christian podcast to grow your faith.

We gotta get you know what we gotta get in here. Yeah get up in there You know we have not talked about I don't dabble. I know people that do Many people I know that do and it sounds cool as fuck to me just like once again. I don't have the time a lot of these like like serialized like narrative fictional podcast you know talking about like old school radio shows.

Yeah, I think coolest fuck I think that's awesome that it exists I Don't think I'll ever listen to one, but I think it's very cool. Yeah, I'm gonna say that's a very pretty good for all the same Reasons I think like I've tried to listen to him It's just not for me, but it is tight part of the thing that is so cool with those It's a lot of them have like fucking awesome production value right where it's like yeah That's what I I've heard a little bit. It's cool. There's like sound design again And I it's kind of sick to me that they brought back like an art that definitely was dead Right, right?

I'm for it. I don't think I'll ever listen to one, but I'm for it. I would strongly strongly recommend This is gonna sound I wish that I could like recommend this without saying the name because that's how it was introduced to me but I can't so I the long night is a podcast that is Is fictional I think it's 20 episodes or maybe 10 episodes It's really fucking good And you don't even know until the very end of the first episode and maybe the beginning of the second episode that it is fucking a Marvel podcast about Wolverine I promise you oh I would not recommend this dumb neri shit if it wasn't so so dank It's really really really good. It's just like him up in Alaska trying to bust like drug dealers It's like yeah, it's really really really cool.

It's good like production value and sound design stuff. Yeah, shout out Damn you know I'm so locked into God pod now. I gotta figure out how I figure out how we get on there What about like the the this is gonna be a very pretty good like the official podcast of something because it's always a bunch of fucking dweebuses that hosted like those Trader Joe's dipshits were coming for you hosts God honestly Oh, yeah, I don't yeah, I don't know where do you put that trader Joe's we're available. Yeah trader Joe's yeah Go ahead go ahead.

Just fucking toss them and get some pros in the building. Yeah, get rid of the straighter Joe's a couple of trader pros That if that's not my real average Joe's you want to be average Joe's you want to be fucking trader Joe's right I think like so for those who don't know what the fuck we're talking about trader Joe's has a podcast and it's boring as hell in the It feels like some of the social media interns get your boys in there You don't even want to hear me fucking motorboat a tub of trader Joe's hummus It's you don't even know dude. I'll get crazy in there. Just let me in the booth Yeah, that's good you should just take my word for it Okay, I have a genre that I think you can say nothing about and I would put it as a three But I think overall probably sits at it too and that is actual play podcast I listen to a lot of people play in D&D and they are extremely popular right now.

Oh, yeah But I've never heard one I got nothing to say I know I'm gonna put it It's for me. It's a three, but I'll put it as a two because that is such a Specific taste that's like you either really like it or you're just like no. Thank you Do you just on your commute is this one you listen to your podcast? Yeah, usually I'm like a mute.

Yep When your commute is from your bed to your chair I'm not a podcast time with that. Yeah, the other time the other time I crank podcast is like a Chorus so like if I'm following laundry if I'm doing dishes it like if I'm out in the backyard pulling weeds I'll pop a little potty on that's my audio book time You know it is obviously a good place to listen to I've heard I wouldn't I don't go I don't even agree. I need something a little bit to get the juices flowing Dude, you think that the sound of our voices right now people aren't just ripping barbells. Yeah, the fucking yeah That's a good point blood pressure is rising.

We got veins popping in there. Yeah, that's true I speaking of I we got it. We got a this is part of the reason I wanted to do this episode So I need to I need to shift us into a different gear I think part of the nuts and bolts is you need a good intro and a good outro now one of us is responsible for the intro and I think It's pretty tight. I do one little bit.

I do one little bit and then and it's consistent I get us in I get us out and we're off running I think a tight little intro works and then for the outro we've turned we just fall into our faces Okay, I appreciate that you said we I Don't even know how this little fucking poem couplet began. I don't want to do the poem anymore Don't want to do a poem. I'm gonna say something very cool and that'll be that no no no no no I'm I am actually vetoing. Let's just leave it to Wilder's brain to figure something out at the moment We end it.

I need I need something in writing I need to hear some fucking I need to give you a little confirmation on this ending But it's a group you want me to just workshop some catch phrases for you Why does it have to be a catchphrase? Do you ever thought about that? Well, it's an outro as if like what if you said what if we end with a Prayer and we're talking about God podcast We could end with a prayer to be a true God pod Give me slice me off like a what can you give me a prayer really quickly about just kind of whatever comes to mind and keep it like under like 20 seconds. Yeah, we thank you big job in the sky for your bounty of the beautiful music of our voices So to me that wasn't horrible actually That was better than like if you don't have the chomp then don't worry about the grump or whatever dumb shit you said Yeah, so we're okay with inducting a big job into the sky.

No, I don't love I don't love the turning sort of us into deity But I think very pretty good and with Yeah, I don't love that what about just like Just fucking cool to say you know what I mean, but dog you've been chasing that dragon for years now. When is it coming? Okay, how about this I did Google cool things to say So should we just try a couple of these out? Yeah, I mean hit hit me for sure.

Okay, never confuse a lesson for a soulmate This is not cool I don't understand Well, what that means doesn't sound good. Let's try that's Pinterest not a good thing to click. What if you okay? Okay, how about just a hundred funny things to say no, oh no, give me one got me one Okay, so believe it or not these are not that funny the first one and that's all I will read is I'm so glad we have brown cows Otherwise, there wouldn't be any chocolate milk.

Yeah, dude. That's pretty good. That's pretty funny for sure I'm gonna say a Pinterest ending is bad. That's a one Sort of a Pinterest saying or something like that What okay, what about do you know any good riddles like what if you ended every episode with a riddle sort of to leave our listeners Something to think with like because you are a little sort of a troll type I am a riddler.

Yes. What have you had like what if you just prepped and it'd be funny dude? Like I'm sick of you fucking funny. What if we just what have you just had a little riddle to kind of plop there at the end?

Oh, oh, I'll riddle every episode Do you think that's a good idea though? It's the question. I mean of course it's a good idea interesting. I am somewhat of a riddler I'm a trickster.

I'm a prankster a mischievous type What do other what other podcasts that are good that you've heard what do they do at the end? Well, all fantasy everything has sort of a like a little catchphrase thing that Bory says It's like a sound it's sort of a yeah, I don't want to be a The my brother my brother to me does sort of falls apart at the end they've now they've started saying a Silent wish or something it used to be it used to be they would read a final Yahoo, which was a good one But in most places it's like and that's all everyone have a great I mean we could just do fucking end it like normal people, but it doesn't sound right Yeah, and that's a new anchor. What do we put news anchor thing like good night and good luck? Yeah, it's gotta be a two because it's better than whatever horseshit we're doing But like it's not it's not good or funny like I want it to be something See around the neighborhood Okay, hold on once again try it again do it say it like you would say it like that episode the music playing Thanks everybody see around the neighborhood Okay, I don't hate it's like a mr.

Rogers vibe a little bit. I felt a little predatory though Threatening hey, I'll see you won't see me, but I'll see you around the neighborhood How about how about hey? This has been Jesse while this guy to life and don't call us. We'll call you Interesting I don't okay.

I don't hate just establish that we're the celebs here and to like maybe not forget that we're not all equal I don't hate the direction you're heading. I don't love don't go. We'll don't call us. We'll call you because I'm not calling anybody and That's exactly the right I get no right I get it.

It's a little it's a little too like Hollywood to me I think I'm it's too big shot. Okay. I can't do the job. I mean Yeah, not when the job walkies are as real as they are maybe do we do sort of a call-and-response thing well that would work Because they're not there we could like can be a play-long at home like a really dude when I say job You say walkies, but then but then so I'm not gonna do it So then is the idea that they're like on the bus listening in their headphones and they're just shouting walkies Walkies yeah, dude.

Oh, I think but I have hesitant to put this on you because I yeah, we have seen this happen before But dude what if you just what if it was just a mix of these what if nobody ever knew and then at the end It was like today. It's a prayer tomorrow. It's a riddle day after it's good night and good luck like but is that too much? Free rain from that You think that knowing that I can barely handle right simple sentence at the end It would be best if I were to come up with a brand new second every single time.

Okay. No, you're right. You're right I was putting too much faith in you. You're there's little to no chance.

I will accomplish that. Okay What about like mission impossible, you know this and this podcast will self-destruct. It's a little too It's not I don't love it to be honest. It's a tense way to end things.

It's tense It's also like a complete sort of just a line That's like you know, I don't just align from a movie, you know It's like if we end of the podcast we're gonna need a bigger boat. You can do a quote Yeah, you want to do a movie quote every time this is Jabu and leave the gun take the cannoli. Yeah Fuck dude. Fuck the problem is that's we're not a movie podcast.

No that attitude I hate to stick on this, but I just really want to get it, you know I just really want to fucking put the hammer to the nail. Yeah, I mean should we maybe say something nice. Hey, don't stop wishing Okay, no, I you are on to something a positive affirmation at the end dude, but stop wishing okay, but Can yeah, I love don't stop first of all bonus points don't stop wishing I think that's a wonderful I think that's good. Are you gonna come up with a new one every time?

Do you believe that you can I don't think that I can dude? I mean what I would end up doing is frantically googling positive affirmations. No, man. Just think about it for five seconds before we have record I'm into the riddle thing and I'm into the affirmation thing very different vibes.

I'm strongly into prayer But that's good like I'm God bought on the mind Well, any I'll maybe the question for this week our Spotify question is gonna be why don't we ask them what they think we should end with We could do a little Twitter poll as well. Uh-huh So there's also I think Spotify has pole I heard Spotify things massive pole. Okay, so I think the front runners are Everyone's gonna fucking choose prayer because they're gonna want it god damn It's like saying grace, but instead of before you we did her after you eat podcast, you know Everyone's gonna choose prayer and I'm gonna if it's prayer. I'm definitely not writing a new fucking prayer every week Come on.

We don't even record every week. You guys got wrote fucking plenty of prayers dog everything about that Maybe it'll be like a thing right out of line each week. Oh my god, dude No, then it's like one of those it's like one of those stories where it's like I say a sentence and I pass it to you and You add a memory game. No, it'll be a quiz Mario party game Dude, don't you can't get hung if they if prayer gets selected you can't get hung up on thinking it needs to be some big long thing A prayer it could just be like bless this mess.

Let's this mess dude. That's a prayer done Okay, may the big shrimp in the sky look over all of our bounties It's done and then we're out dude. All right, if it doesn't so it's not like a whole speech. No, dude No, it's like you're you're just sort of like a positive affirmation It can be do or it might be like hey watch out cuz he's always watching right because that's also kind of a prayer But it's not a positive affirmation.

Oh, that's a yeah, that's a fun one. It's like a Santa thing, you know, you know It's his deal. I think we will put it. We'll put it to the we'll put it to the Jabu the jabu walkies to vote between prayer Affirmation of riddle it sucks cuz like it sucks that AI is so shitty because I do think it would be funny to use Chat GPT to be like and write a one-liner for the end of our podcast and do that every single time But I feel like that's quite quite frowned upon and for good reason Yeah, and it's not it's not even it wouldn't even be that good.

No, it wouldn't it would just be like the news It would be funny even if it tried. Yeah, okay attributes dude a guest I think is a two except unless you're one of our guests that was on our podcast shout out to all of Our many guests Blair Johnny bananas who else do we have? Ash Ash Number one fan up in Canada saved the best for last Annie J-roobs J-roobs OJ. Oh J.

If you were a guest on our podcast that was a three every podcast It's a two because it breaks up the chemistry for me like I the riffs I mean is clean if you know what I mean, yeah, and you know you're getting them clean here in the job Oh, yeah, we're not cutting these wrists with anything dude. This is uncut clean 100% Jabu nastiness attributes dude, I kind of like when a podcast has seasons Yeah, what is the point of that though? Well, I like it because like I mean when a podcast feels like it has a narrative arc even when it's not You know Even when it's not safe fictional like a lot of the actual play podcast that I listen to the d&d podcast It's like oh this this season is 14 episodes and that's this world We're in and then the season ends and you know like it's like here's a clean little section It wouldn't make sense for like what we do but for like narrative podcast and stuff. I like it It's a nice way to like break it up Technically our podcast.

This is categorized as season two of our podcast. Oh, that's right. That's right Because the backward star is still up there for whom I do not know That's in bolts dude. This is something that we are extremely not good about I'm just gonna name two things number one The social media does feel important you should be promoting to have your good podcast Yeah, it sucks and even more so every if you google how to make podcast successful the very first thing on every single list is release episodes Yeah And look that's why we're different dude.

Just fucking build different over here release it every week Every month who cares swim it if I wanted to swim with the rest of the fucking fish dude. I'd be out there swimming Yeah, dude, but instead you're flopping around on the beach That's my choice yeah You've got nothing to do with my fucking big brothers. I feel good about this. I feel we talked about podcasts pretty good here I don't know about any of them clearly.

I don't know anything about them This is the one I know the best which is a horrible example of podcasts Well, but it's also the best example you have in it in it it sure is thank you to Illinois They get a sack they get a Chicago. Thank you to what the hell is that say Philadelphia? Hey, hey, hey, hey, thank you to Kavya and discount and You know fucking squiggles and the rest of Brett Kavanaugh's friends Yeah, Adam. Thank you for the art bad Todd for the music check out bad Todd's freaking album bent telling you it's good shit Go sneak it wherever you consume your music 30 white horses standing on a red hill first a chomp then they stomp then they all stand still Okay