I'm son flowers and welcome to another episode Jesse and Wilders guide to life I'm Jesse that's wilder and we're here to guide your life Oh, so you had mentioned that you don't think that you've started every episode ladies and gentlemen Bro, I took a little peek back on maybe the last I don't know ten episodes every single one of them, baby Damn, okay. Well the times are a change in baby. It's growing a little bit each day better late than never not just talk about Oh So that should you should see a doctor if you're if any part of you go a little bit each day that part Yeah, is like much like our dear friend Franklin the turtle Yes a little growing a little bit every day. It's not good.
No, shout out to Frank I don't know if we've talked about that we love Franklin before just a little something for you guys No, Griffin ass theme song, but you know what Franklin's up to not getting canceled, you know who is bitch ass Wow, wow just slinging unnecessary daggers right now at all of the Arthur squad of which I assume there are dozens I don't think that we're the same demo, bro. This is Frank fans only. Oh, you think this is we're riding along in the Frank fans Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're cruising along in the Frank tank Are they at all rivals and also is Franklin still on the air before I start? Oh, I feel like no, I live Franklin by a lot.
Huh now that I say it dang it. All right. Hold on. Yeah I'm also hitting the goog on it to oh in it.
Yeah, it that it did. Yes. It did stop airing Before we graduated high school ran from 98 to 2004. Yeah, yeah, which is a nice run, but Six seasons sure eight shit to shake that fuck so Arthur Arthur was what like 25 years or something like that?
Yeah At least I feel like at least I feel like when I was looking at Arthur I thought this shit is old and that was when I was of age to yeah, so damn dude. Sorry read shout out to mark Brown creator The EP of Arthur the rest of the crew you guys doing great job. That's on a historic run. They're not gonna see that You don't have to be a little hard work Anyway, Franklin Franklin's tight and here we are talking about it You bro, do you ever see how close everyone sits together on the couch in Arthur?
You know it's a it's a fucking nightmare now now I have to also look up art if you just go to the Arthur Wikipedia and take a look at the only picture Okay, side the logo get the fuck away from everybody on that I hate to tell you okay, let's just look at this picture that no one else can see if you want to follow along at home Good fam put it on social media. We're so good at social media. We'll fire this picture up there But hey a couple things one buy another chair. I got to know the characters.
Yeah I'm right on the chair. Is that a typo or is that is the character named brain or they did they miss ball Brian? Oh, how about this fucking goblin up at the top? That's what I'm sort of honed in the where the wild things.
Oh, yeah So fam let me get you a picture there all the couch all fit 500 of them basically. Yeah, there's actually 10 I think here Including that little baby that Arthur's holding oh, it's like a I spy didn't even see that little baby They're all of Ambiguous animal creation at a certain levels except for someone standing behind the couch and it who is yeah? It is he's got hard. It's like a it looks like a slug wearing a dress shirt But he's got rose what seems to be rose of jagged teeth It's not this close but you can see the little teeth poke it Gang if you're not looking at the pick what do you do it pull your car over on the freeway?
I don't care where you are just stop doing pull over just no answers with the PDF page look at this photo It's not photograph Nice Next to the nickels my mother's wedding song perfect. Yeah, that's gonna be my funeral gang. I mean by gang any McGrath Stop making me talk about Arthur. You brought it up.
You know, but hold on I'm not done yet. Have you seen the names of these characters? I closed the Wikipedia page because I'm ready to move on, but please you get it rip okay I'm ready to move on, but I'm just gonna hit you with the names real quick walkwise from upper left brain Binky sue Ellen one word that's one person Francine Muffy Buster Prue Nella George Arthur and baby Kate damn first of all really snuck Prue Nella right there Yeah, Prue Nella is S tier excellent excellent excellent incredible name if you are in the interest of getting like a pet sometime soon Listener, please consider the name Prue Nella. I just think that you can't go wrong.
You can call it little pruney or prunken Yeah, Prunken spice I thought we were gonna be rusty here. We are just with the flame throwers Anyways, baby's today we're talking about popping the question. Yeah, and tell them why we're doing this well Well, the primary reason is I most recently have done this I just did this congratulations to me I did this very very thing she said okay, you know what should I just give the whole should I give the story just I think there's no other Way to start this episode out first of all look full transparency the same high first rodeo It's true and while the first one didn't work out and there's also maybe not a coincidence while there was heavily involved in the first Probably a witch's curse on that one, but let's live in the present. Yeah, I'm an ongoing legal battles with the painters tape supplier Uh-huh.
Yeah, we'll we'll tell that story. I'll tell this story and then you tell that story your version of that story The the abridged the abridged version is we met in New York City So we were back in New York City this summer For a little bit cushion and we went to governor's island Which if you're in the New York City area, this is not like a fun tourist thing But if you live in New York or you're gonna be there for an extended time governor's island fucking rips It's basically a park that you take a little fairy to which is tight and is that what a governor's boys I think it used to be and that's why it's called that It's not anymore because they were like this is damaging this beautiful park will do this shit somewhere How many governors live on that shit well the governor of New York used to live on it now currently none yeah, if there's no governors I'm not leaving Yelp review. Please no single governor. Please do do please do you love that shit?
You love a fucking Yelp review of a park anyways, we're walking around and We found some chairs. I was a little I wasn't playing it very cool because we found some chairs and I was like This is a view of New Jersey. I don't know if this is a great view and she was like what are you talking about? It's fine.
We're looking at the the Statue of Liberty in the water and it's a beautiful summer day and I was like But it's New Jersey though. Should we go see if we can look at other buildings that are for some reason better? Shout out to the New Jersey listeners. Yeah, sorry fam.
Your town is not pretty enough to propose to sorry Well, it was luckily that we did do that shout out. Hope open forever apart of the fabric of my love and I said I love you and she said I love you and then I said I love you so much and then she said I love you a regular amount and See and that's why I like her to keep it real. Yeah, I had the ring in my hand and I was threw it into the water So man, yeah, you should have been like and there was your shot and you blew it Yeah, and then I did the knee and the whole thing and it was a fucking bangin time And then and then afterwards we celebrated with Oliver I had arranged like a post game. I have to tell you fam what you're gonna learn from this here one is that popping the question I would say is like 30% of the battle The the dank shit you got you got a you gotta stick a landing You know what I mean?
Like it's it's what you get the ring and they say yes or whatever like whatever you're trying to do That's great, but that's the fucking then what you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's fun. It's a great thing to plan It's especially good and like this another thing. I'm gonna stress probably more than once.
Hey guys Guys and gals some flowers and friends you have simply got to know that they are gonna say yes I if there is a Imagine not a fucking stitch of doubt in your tummy that that that might be how about is preparation a category? Like background knowledge or something because they're pretty good. No, no the response ahead of time Is that done? Is that done?
Well, I know the answer well I every once in a while you see a video online where someone shakes their head no and it's like what have you not spoken of this before guys You you simply have to speak a bit before if you have never talked to your partner about like the married life the committed life And guess what marriage is not for everyone and that's totally fine But if you've not had that discussion you can turn this episode off if you're looking for real advice like you I you ain't ready for this one looking for real advice if you are playing on proposing and you have come here for real advice You deserve your face. Yeah, that's a fact. That's a fact. I got another I have a very I don't know how to phrase this The ring is a challenge and I think that that is preparation and I think it's a very pretty good It's the work.
It's the worst part of the whole deal. I think yeah What'd you do you like buried in the ground the day before you have to bury it on the ground or else? It's one time we give what we give okay. Let's just call it like the deed right or like the act What's the category for like how you do it?
Well, I think it's there's different things So first of all I think location is big right yeah, let's call it the moment how about that the moment in quotes Okay, where do we put a very day before it's gotta convince know then you go like to your partner you say Oh, you know I was thinking it could be fun on the Saturday and then you pull out two shovels and you're like maybe we just dig up Okay, so you're talking and they hit but I didn't tell you that they put it you put the regular treasure chest situation Yes now tell me that this is not I'm pretty good They hit wood and then you go oh my god What's that and then you dig it open and inside the box is already popped open with the ring right there This is very you put on your part set and you say are you right up with it? Yeah, you best start believing in engagement because you're in one or whatever book yeah, yeah, cuz you're in one No treasure treasure hunt is a very not quite lit for lots of reasons one one of the many thousands of reasons This is a bad idea is that this sets up a scenario where because here's something here's something That is key for preparation which my plan didn't do great a great job of but you have to remember that pictures are going to take place immediately After right without without exception. Yeah, so you got it you gotta keep the I feel like I'm gonna throw a lot to shade in this episode and like hang just this all my opinion if you've done something that I'm Gonna talk shit about don't take it personally. Yeah.
Yeah, you're the one that you're the one that's married on me So keep that in mind pictures of the moment can suck my ass. Oh interesting. I don't care for that. I Okay interesting, so you want to give it a one I can't I can't give it a one but like two I agree with I they're not I don't like them.
It's like that's for you to to get a fucking photographer Sometimes it looks so stage. I can't even believe it. Yes. Yes.
Okay, so yes Big big huge huge huge huge huge live your life you would you want to do we're just here to speak our truths? But I inclined to agree with you actually when I originally was planning it. I was thinking about doing it Near like prospect park and then I talked to a couple people about it in Brooklyn, which is a fairly it's your standard busiest park in the city situation and The person I was talking to about it like giving kind of like brainstorming with it. They were like that's cool But it's also like kind of a spectacle And this goes with pictures the moment because it's so crowded there like that's you guys are gonna have any time yourself You do it and you just hear some clicking and then you turn and there's a big fucking like spy telephoto lens What they said is like I don't think that either of you wants to get engaged right next to a drum circle and I was like Yeah, that's a fact your correct location very not quite let drum circle.
It's gotta be I would say so what do we think about public? Spectacles and I'm not yet talking about like YouTube video I'm going like half time at a basketball game or like you know what I mean? Yeah, so that's location I think so that's different. I think those are two different things.
Let's let's unpack sports game first That's a one. I think I hate it so much. Yeah, and also a little advice for the proposal If you do not want to marry this person just say yes for a minute gang Just for a minute and then you take them outside and you have this conversation in a second damn dude. That's so hard You know, I know if you think it's harder than saying no in front of an entire basketball stadium.
I don't I think either way It's a little pickle you got a little pickle on your what do you do that's so hard and this is one? Okay, so when I said I've seen videos people if that was like a surprise when I when I've said I've seen videos of people saying No, isn't it almost always exclusively these ones like arena proposals? No, no, no, no, no, no, no not this because some drunk idiot gets fucking wasted on his $12, you know 10-ounce beers and it's like I'm proposed to but it's not no no, no, no, no, no, that's okay That's not entirely correct because a lot of times it's like on the scoreboard or they have the scoreboard And it's like goes by too fast. You can they have the ring with them Like I don't think you could chalk it up to like this guy's drunk in the moment No, not always I think preparation sobriety where you where you sober what was your you can't you can not you just cannot Do it spur of the moment it cannot be I think preparations for the moment very not quite like absolutely You can have that feeling spur of the moment like wow, this is it I'm good and then what you do is you take a couple weeks you do a little shopping online for rings You do a little brainstorming you do not get on any and be like, yeah You know who this is especially hard for people like me who cannot contain a secret because this is a secret right?
You got a big fucking secret. Yeah, I mean you were doing a good Huge you were doing a good job of texting me when you were texting me about the proposal when you knew about it But it hadn't yet happened and you were like is this line secure? Yeah, bro. I am not I am not going to ruin one of those.
Thank you. I mean you already be almost ruined one Yeah, but just for context for context. I won't tell the whole story well my first time around in this here This here gamble that you take yeah, he turned to a pro and I said you're doing this event I'm gonna do it at this event perfect setup tape the ring to the bottom of the chair which we'll get to that was dumb in itself He also gave me that ring a week in advance and fuck gang you think you know nervousness you think you know anxiety try having someone else's Wedding ring in your possession for a fucking week. I would wake up in the middle of the night in like a cold sweat and like check My sock drawer make sure it's still in there.
It's I mean the impenetrable fortress of my sock drawer It's I mean I had I had it for longer than a week I realize it was mine so there's a little bit I imagine your butthole was very quite tight, but Yeah hiding the ring in general sort of a nightmare But so I gave it to Wabu and I said tape it to her chair and he was fucking painters tape which well does not is thought I had duct tape And then in the heat of the moment I did not so what do I do use a painter's tape the ring I would say within the first I want to say like six or seven minutes of the event fell from the bottom of the chair clattered against the floor She said what's this I said I think they give up prize I'm thinking on his feet, but also Pretty good liar. So I'm gonna keep in mind. Well, you gotta be I mean to execute this you must be Yeah, and this is another reason why I'm like it just my skills are not going to line up because I Can't keep secrets and I am not a good liar and I'm not cool under pressure. Yeah, I did I did some medium bad lying I definitely the the fucking fairy that you take to the so my now fiance is quite the planner loves to plan ahead, which is great, but I was trying to really mail down this fucking day at this island Amidst this week where we were trying to like see all of our friends in gold or our favorite restaurants I was going to pitch like a you know four hour long leisurely stroll And so if you told me that I would say to go I know so I was so first of all and this is maybe preparation And I think it's a very pretty good because it didn't actually work that well for me But make them whatever you're doing make them think it's their idea, you know Yeah, you have to you have to accept so I because I think that's very quite lit.
Okay, that's that works for me I mean, I guess it's very good at it if you can do it for me. I was like Successful yeah, yeah, yeah for me. I was like, can you what do you think we should do like what should we plan? And like I knew where I wanted and she was like, I don't know what do you think it was like?
I'm gonna die was pretty cool. She was like, yeah, that could be fun. I was like, you know, let me get the tickets right now Like they're I mean fairy ticket. Yeah, I wouldn't say that's her idea you still suggested it, but right but like but it wasn't I Suggested it, but it was like I think that the the alternative right is that you are like hey I plan something for us and that's just like to me a big red flag where it's like hey, I plan this romantic meal location meal I think it's a one is it a one you talk about like in a public restaurant.
Yeah, I don't think it's bad if you're in your own home But restaurant now that's like that's weird. Why do you need to do it a public? What is the deal with public? I mean by public I mean where you can be noticed like you were in public technically, but I wouldn't call that impolte nobody There was no crowd around us nobody like looking around nobody even noticed what happened?
To people like no, no, I mean there was like there was no one within like 50 feet of us and and they and also I will say that like we were sitting in chairs I swung around to one knee for like a brief moment and then popped back It wasn't like a big if I had so if I had like been up against the fence where like the red by the water and then got down Anywhere whatever Maybe someone would have done something but it was pretty there was not more than like a dozen people within I shot Yeah, well see here's what happened with that is because I made up for my previous failures And I was up there on the roof with a freaking sniper rifle taking out anyone oh cool. That's cool That's tight active shooter wall to the rescue Yeah Strength guns guys. We don't like guns here. Okay tight.
Yeah, cool cool cool. I have one for the moment And I did it but it's a two going on the on the knee. I think it's it's weird. It's weird, right?
Yeah, I think it sucks, but like if you don't do it, what are you doing? Right? Yeah? I mean that so this is it right we get in those chairs that in my scenario and in my head I was like just well, I have to I have to do the knee I cannot just be loud and it was like lounge chairs, you know, it's like Adirondack chairs I can't just be like chillin and be like you want this ring what's up?
Yeah, yeah It's your ad on deck chairs back as far as it goes. Yeah, just basically fully horizontal and I throw the ring right on our face hmm so the on the knee is is Corny and look look a lot of this process is incredibly corny. You just become a big corn ball I don't know what to tell you yeah, but like gang here's the deal be corny who gives a fuck sure sure there's ever a time for Indulgence I did I before I before I did it as a little because I thought it was a little cheeky before I did it I got on Twitter and said I think I'm a pro smoker friend Oh, and then like did see that to know that I'm home. It's beforehand Yes, and then like five minutes before I've a five minutes before I fired that baby off and then I and then I did I don't know that though.
That's kind of like a fail safe. You know what I mean, right? You know you cannot check it out imagine someone sees it. Yes.
Yes. I mean I had almost immediately I had replies that were like wait is this real and then I'd be like well, okay now I have to hide my phone even more. Oh my god hiding your phone. I guess that preparation it sucks dude Twitter notifications turned on yeah, I like to see what the masses are saying to me Dang hiding your phone sucks as per we talked about with Wilder asking the law if the line was secure and like there was a moment Cuz I okay, so you're afraid that I didn't tell everyone but you certainly have to tell cuz I'm trying to plan things and Also like I had like made reservations for afterwards and like I didn't want you know a text notification from the fucking hotel We were gonna go to afterwards like your reservation is ready check in and so I was like being very Like like we would be ordering food and I should be using like my door dash It would be like let me see the menu and I'd be like what do you know what we always order from here?
What do you want? I want to say the menu that you got it you got to have a designated secretary that day sure Yeah, you need a day of coordinator, please do not bother mr. McGrath today He has something very important to do any kind of you looking at a day of Coordinator is very quietly if you got one baby fire it off I want to talk about some some some real elephant in the room stuff not in the room But it has to be mentioned what about the big fucking YouTube extravaganza everyone the person's ever known You know what I'm talking about I I cannot I cannot let you give it a one okay, so we've kind of we dance around a little bit But let me let me just let me just say this okay Yeah, do what you think you and your fucking partner are going to fucking vibe with do you know what I mean? Yes agreed it is not for you That is the big thing like like I agree with you 100% to me the big YouTube thing is like like oh my god Is that grandma is that me me is that fucking pop pop oh my god?
What's happening the first one I ever saw was like as probably the best one I've ever seen it was probably I don't know maybe the most famous one it was just like non-stop the amount of planning was Ridiculous and I was like wow this is amazing, but only if that person's gonna want that gang right right right? It is not about how cool of a planning day you can have this about what they're gonna be into yeah So I'm actually going to put it into because I think if you have the right You know it's like oh my god you organized a flash mob of all of my distant relatives It's like well this is absolutely nothing to me, but like cool fire fire that off That's that's tight for you guys yeah, and that is a quadruple better check down on the fact that you you better know if they're gonna say Oh my oh my oh my Literally what would you do oh my god who's it worse for let me ask you that it's gotta be worse for the person saying no It the worst yeah the worst moment in that situation. It's the person saying no and then far behind about the person That's closest to them. That's the prize.
I know yeah Yeah, yeah, it's got that's horrible for everyone and last but not least grandma whose surgery was successful and flew out here To see you guys off god damn that sucks Yeah, big spectacle at two borderline one But if you if that's what you and your you're fucking home here into then let it rip yeah, let it rip is major major truth on this episode Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay afterwards I this is something I look I've done it twice. It was the only it was my only repeat function of the whole process I cannot stress enough how fucking tight a hotel is afterwards for all of the reasons you would think yeah I mean of course yes you you why on earth? Would you go back to your shitty apartment right exactly and like and even if you get on your little beanbag chair and watch fucking burn Notice or whatever you do yeah, even like a beautiful home. That's not the night for it Do you know it's just it's a time for you to like fucking?
Celebrate in all of the ways that you want to celebrate we got back to the hotel room we fucking demolish the mini bar Bro the mini bar was no fucking match for us. I was eating fucking nine dollar PM&M's no problem We gotta retroactively stick something on sources of power cuz getting engaged oh yeah big time big time through the roof the power There's there's nothing I don't think that there's anything you shouldn't do after getting engaged Let's say legal things, but you know what I mean like why not spend two hundred dollars a person on fucking yes raw bars Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I not get every single thing out of the mini bar Why not fucking fly to Belize or some shit you wanna know Belize, bro. You know whatever dude. Yeah I'm gonna play for a long time after that.
What a buzz yeah would suck afterwards being on a plane would be what a fucking buzz Go back. Yes. I guess it's it's too because you're probably going somewhere so sick, but yeah being on place suck shit Yeah, but that's just enough time to be like oh this was a probably not a wise decision Yeah, this okay see it see it see in three hours or I want to give it a one honestly Yeah, okay, because you're also not just on a plane you're at the airport God and Covid times yeah, that sucks that sucks that's that's big shit I think that on the on the night within the first four hours of me being engaged. I could win an Olympic event I think that's how powerful it is you know what I mean like any other time I'm lining up in those sprinters blocks And I'm like I'm gonna get fried but in that if I just back bro.
That's where you're about to win your goal of the track Baby my five seven frame is gonna just hit the hurdles like nothing pretty sure rugby's in the Olympics Yeah, I could do something I've already done in real life But I'm saying I'm so powerful. I'm gonna jump in the pool and play water polo for the first time maybe win a gold no problem I suspect I'll be I'll be setting some records on pole ball I know that we covered it before the location bad if you propose the airport you stink you stink out loud I'm sorry. What's a good location. I have a good location I mean I think like a classic is like beautiful nature.
Yeah, like you know if you to our people that like hiking right Hit up the peak of some mountain or something I think location something you that has meaning to you Yeah, and like who gives a fuck if it's the location of your first date and everyone does that who gives a shit? I honestly I wanted to do that and the location of our first date is shut down so Yeah, well same for me, but also don't do it if you had not been there in like two years and then all of a sudden You know four years to the day, right? Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, cuz it's so obvious for me a little a little tidbit And this is some fucking corny shit dude.
You have to be corny. I'm sorry bonus points corny I have to say yeah, it's like agreed one of the three times in your life that you just get a free pass on coordinates Because the place where we had our first date is closed I had the the coordinates the geographical coordinates inscribed on the inside of the ring of where we had our first date So that's pretty fresh. It's it's not too because like throughout our lives our lives together Every you know, we'll just check in and back. Oh cool.
It's a it's a golden crust now like it's a dunked donuts now Oh cool where we got where we got our first date. It's a western Union. Yeah doing checks there now cool Yeah, bro. What are you gonna do with something bad?
It's like oh fuck you see what that is now It's the new outpost for the west bro Baptist Church, right? Well, so this this my parents got married so different But married at a chapel in Vegas where they where they lived at the time and it got it shortly afterwards was Torn down and replaced by a strip club and you wouldn't believe it my parents are divorced. You could not Yeah, so Meaningful significant place is is key. It's not it's not absolutely 100% necessary like none of this stuff is but it is it is kind of tight To do that to be like cool We've tied some extra significance to this thing Jim helper did a gas station, you know what is I?
It was I it was I I but that's a television show and That was kind of spur of the moment which we talked about not I mean That's to me that in hindsight if we're just gonna talk about the office for a second It's like a failure of Jim and Pam to fucking understand they should got engaged like six weeks in the relationship They were basically dating the three years before anyways. Yeah true Fuck Jim and Pam yeah fuck Jim and Pam. I'm all about Roy Where now we're saying the real shit bro Roy look at no dude Roy had a brunch wedding I forget about that Michael's proposal. What do we think about Michael's proposed to too much spectacle dude?
I mean obviously yeah, bro. It's my favorite episode right it's a two though right because it is perfect That is a perfect example of what we're talking about those two people are freaks. Yeah, it's true. They like that shit That's beautiful.
Yeah, bro. Like Yoda voice is a very not quite lit. I think unless that's your shit But right for the sake of most people I would say no Yoda voice Please don't do any like bits maybe a bit could be is a bit doing a bit is that too? I don't know I mean I think of a good bit Yeah, I don't like what's that like what's that behind your ear?
It's your wedding ring so speaking of the office I we have some friends that the Now the man of the relationship he would often do the Jim prank where Jim like hits down on one knee and then ties a shoe or whatever The fuck yeah, yeah He would do that one ever and this is like you know a beforehand's bit and then when he did get down his knee to do it It was classic boy who cried wolf and she was like fuck you and walked away Nothing less than he deserves big time That was like Jim's biggest douchebag thing in if you want us to do an office podcast we will but To the beam you know what this world needs dog is too white guys talking about the office Yeah, especially since there is a podcast with two of the actual characters from the office of Elmo We'll get a fresh perspective. Yeah the perspective that we bring is people who watch television is backwards sometimes Okay, let's get back on track truly to get to get fucking corny again Like you only get one or two of these a lifetime Yeah, true that true that true that true that yeah, so good up because it's tight as fuck It's so fucking tight so get up. That's the name of our next bandy pack. Oh, yeah You and your partner cruise it on down with matching opposite color coordinated Fanny packs once it's let it ramp it just soak it up soak it up is good actually it is good Yeah, who wants to sponsor us for this fresh merch Gucci?
I'm looking at you. Oh Yeah, that makes sense. That's a natural pick for that. I have another afterwards that I think is good.
Okay, and this is I've also done have friends on deck. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah because like you want to celebrate you get your you get your time We're like oh my god, it's us we're in love this is great. I'm so excited We did that the first time around too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I look I you know I did it well I did a practice run and I realized what worked what didn't it was a first draft?
It's just again It's that's it's that sources of power baby like you you bring that energy to a group of people like we I had planned for us to be on I all of her friends were waiting for us on the roof deck of the hotel that we were staying at may sound familiar to you Welder and that is a great hang. That's a that's a fucking excellent hang facts now. Let's get listen Brian Zilla I'd love to talk about your wedding for another 40 minutes, but let's let's kind of let's get in the workshop here Okay, I want to bring back one of my favorite words. I've we've used it before Padgentry Pageant tree because you know what it is a little bit your big day, too It's not only their big day.
You're saying this afterwards, right? Absolutely, but a little bit before enduring just a little just a dash Okay, so should I just put his bonus points pageant? Yeah, just yeah, I love pageantry. That's fair What I'm talking about is yeah put on your fucking stupid hat who gives a shit?
You got a big fucking wide-brimmed hat that you think sucks probably does wear it today You know what I'm saying? I mean not if it's gonna make them say no just do fucking what if you what if you're on a beach? I don't know what if this is your thing you're on a beach and you ride up on a horse or some shit And you're like you're talking kind of about the spectacle, but yeah, I get it If you're alone right right right right up on a white horse Huh you're dressed in white on a white horse I and then she's kneeling to you and you say will you marry me? I think that's Too wild for me, but I mean that pageantry as a bonus point fits very nicely into if you and your partner are going to be into it I would like there not to be a horse in any Important memory that I have no or anytime that I'm alive Bro, did you this is so unrelated?
Did you see that fucking thing going on social media about the horse in that hospital that is? What that's like comforting old people have you seen this you what? That's literally a John Mulaney joke. I know I know I have to send it to you dude It's like this or it might be in like Italy or some shit.
It's not in America obviously There is like I hate that a fucking pony that they bring into like terminally ill patients anybody for this you know It only does it's one patient a day it picks the door What are you talking it's like the fucking Grim Reaper and people are like so excited about this fucking ghoulish horse today die after it leaves Oh my god, dude, I have to what do you talk about? The broom that they want to go in I'm gonna send it to you right now. She is so wild Where does it does it stay in the hospital? How do they get it into the hospital?
It's in the door Fucking horse. Oh dude. It's in France. It's a it's a stallion pony name or say yo.
I'm sending it to you right now I'm freak ass French people. Yeah, we'll we'll retweet this from the Twitter for sure. He kicks the fucking Oops the door dude. That's not oh wait.
I do you know what fuck? I saw memes about this Yeah, and I didn't understand what it was from which is like probably I would say most of my experience on the internet Yeah, anyways horse in a hospital very not quite late. I don't know where that goes I hate it. I hate it so much now.
I would like to go in my fantasy as big as possible, but private You know I'm saying okay. I got one for you. I got one for you. Yeah, it's not it's not perfectly private Okay, so it might be a two yeah hot air balloon okay hot air balloon is a good one except for that me while there would be Shooting my fans and hot air balloon right right he's so you have that but also you're not piloting right like in this area You don't have your Goggles on so yeah, you're you're a fucking Eddie red man in that fucking flick that Amazon flick He was in yeah, so it's you you would end your partner plus a pie of fucking hot air balloon pilot that you just met free hours ago No, no no no no no no.
So I think hot air balloon is a two probably right yeah I got this is an unlocking it, but I got another one for you. Mm-hmm What about just at home is that a two it sounds like a one to be honest? It sounds like that's the best you can do Yeah, I can't think of a single reason why that would be okay big big caveat big caveat Lots of people did this this year because last year because they were literally trapped in their homes with their loved ones And they only place they could go with home because of it. I'm sorry But proposing during quarantine sounds bad.
I know it sounds so bad and honestly kudos to you you folks because That is I literally I mean I truly like I Would have done it in that time frame But literally was like I'm not going to fucking do it when I can't get a hotel and have our friends and family celebrate like it's Yeah, but good kudos your love is very powerful and you are hyped about that ship But yeah, I saw more than one like zoom proposals and I was just Trying to be psyched I'll tell you this is literally what happened to me when the Lakers won a championship during quarantine Right, you just get nothing you just know I was sitting alone on my couch with nothing to do with that fucking energy Right, it sucks. So and that's just for a fucking basketball game imagine a proposal. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough.
It's tough It's tough that now. I think of the other classics You know cornfield corn maze corn maze gotta be a one Guaranteed I have I have one for the moment that I think is like a either a one or a two and it kind of goes along with your dumb Fuck treasure hunt thing, but like maybe there's a lot of like promposal situations where it's like It's almost like a rube Goldberg of fucking proposal where it's like pop this balloon Oh, there's a note in the balloon. What's the note say? Oh my god the note says to go to the backyard Oh in the backyard there's oh you're talking about that shit dog How okay, unless you're some freak who does that shit all the time.
It'll be so obvious right right right right right right? It's crazy. That's crazy. Imagine if someone did that for you.
Yeah, I've literally never doing anything like that before right And I and I do think that happens all the time where someone like does it happen all the time. Yeah, I think big that is very hallmark movie Yes, yes, yes, yes, I agree to agree to greet and it's bad and it's bad because of that. Yeah, we didn't we didn't specifically list it here But preparation I'm gonna say deception is it too because it sucks, but you it's unfortunately required I just realized we didn't talk about something when gross speech do we like it? Do we need it?
We haven't even spoken of a speech right so me my shit no speech keep it simple stupid That's it. I know I think a speech is like why you have wedding vows right yes I think a speech is a two a speech is a two to me. Here's what I'm struggling with I agree that it should be nothing But I feel like I'm missing an opportunity on this one going I don't know I just feel like this is a big you only get one or maybe two or three or ten of these you kind of want to nail it right? What if there's what if there's something you could I be like for the rest of my life?
I'd be like damn I better go thought some cool say okay, but okay, so this is it though. This is it though This is what I think check out this cook flip There's two things about this number one is a classic if you don't try you can't fail right because if you give a speech There's no way it's gonna be the best speech you could give so if you don't give any speech keep it short guys Keep it very very tight 15 to 20 seconds of a maximum. That's exactly what I am for the other thing is I don't want to have to be it is a high-tensity high anxiety day I do not want to be trying to memorize a fucking like a line But but but preparations this is big because I've heard of guys who don't do this know what you're going to say whether it's a speech or not you gotta know the The architect of our theme music bad Todd Recently was read and and he told me the story and it was very good And he was like but I got done on a knee and I fed I didn't have anything planned So I I said will I think he said that he said will you make me the happiest man alive or something? I don't like the will you do me the honor of or will you make me yeah?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, turn it back on yourself hook that okay? I got a hot I got a hot take or maybe a hot topic and it's another thing that you worked with me on the last one Preparation I think it's a two talking to the parents. It's a two right?
Yeah, it's it's a it's a two look Just because it shouldn't be a thing. Does it mean it isn't right and right yes, and I I Think that I actually will fully go a one if you're talking about asking permission I think that permission like legitimate permission is a one of course. Yeah, that's great You should not that's crazy, but but I think the I read it as a gesture of letting you know Yeah, other than a may I yes a heads up as it were And again, this is like I said I've played it both ways and both ways are fine, but Yeah, I do think it's very pretty good. It's fucking a nightmare to do I'll take that much right now They ain't nothing worse.
Have you something wilder? You have a partner that you've been together for what year and a half now two years? I'm like that you're now that's beautiful How many times have you had a phone conversation with your partners parents none times none times? Yeah, that's a none times So that is hell on earth to be like hi.
Um, this you immediately turn to the janitors for monster's thing This is the right number do I have the Smith residents? That's why we keep them hooked in with those monsters think references Yeah, baby the moment and this is kind of gone with our other will Sings here, but do you just do I mean that's it right is like do whatever you guys your shit is and like what do we think about oh Here's the thing all of it is do you do you and do that make sure that everyone's a copy But if you have to have an instrument in your hand, I think that sucks Stinker in it Unless your Adam Sandler saying to drew Barry more on the plane. I don't think he proposes though damn, that's tough It's tough one, but I bet that they would probably wish that you didn't have it. Yeah and okay, so here's an original song That's like funny.
No, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no No, no, no, no, no, that's even worse, bro, because if it's an original song, let me tell you the afterwards that sucks. Retelling the story, it's nicks, because no matter how good the story is, the 100,000th time that somebody asks you the story, you're like, okay, I don't care for this. Especially if you didn't do anything crazy, like go over to Hot Air balloon, you're just like, we were in a park and I fucking did it. But if you write an original song, once a week for maybe six months, someone will go ahead and do it now though.
Can you please perform it now? Oh my God, I would kill myself. Yeah, of course, you already, oh man, what a nightmare. This is what I was saying, instrument, I really would really prefer that it wasn't involved.
Yes. Leave the flute at home. Yes. What should animals be involved?
What if you have a little duckling walked up to someone and had it said mirror me on it? Animals, oh, I can't. I need your dog, you know, a very well trained dog. Animals give it to you, I'll give it to you.
It just is like, it's nothing to me, but that's fine. Yeah, all I know about animals and couples is don't name it Marley. Sure, yeah, that's a big no no. That's like fucking talking about Hamlet, is that it, measuring Hamlet on in a theater, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same thing. Okay, this we kind of disagreed around a little bit, but for afterwards, you have to have, maybe this is actually preparation, you have to have a next step. I just think that I can't imagine, like, so this is a thing that I think about, right?
Let's say you're all camping with each other, and that's great. Right, and you propose on the third of five days of camping. I just don't know. No, no, no, no.
If that's it, right? You have to have a new. The last, you have to pivot, right? You cannot, it can't have the first night maybe.
You know what I mean, even the adventure, then it's like the whole thing is the adventure. Halfway through is crazy. It's crazy. You have to have a pivot prepared.
Yeah. Even early is tough, because that's, if you're camping and like on day one, they propose like, cool, so we can't see our friends and family for five days, and I don't have service, so I can't talk to any of my loved ones. Yeah, but if that's your shit, I could see how people would be like, this is cool, we're gonna take this for five days trip together, and then we get back. We'll tell everyone.
You know what I mean? That sounds tight, third day is, ooh. Yeah, I can't be in the middle. And also on the last night, honestly doesn't sound that great because you're like exhausted, you want to have energy, but you don't, I think it's first or none.
Right, okay, that's fair. Yes, agree to that, agree to that, agree to that, agree to that. Any other great locations? We only have beautiful nature.
I mean beach, people like, I mean, you know my position on that. Yeah, both of us. I don't think I need to be clearer about what should take place in the beach, which is nothing. Yeah, we'll give it.
I mean, it is objectively a nice view, so we'll give beach at three. You're giving it a very quiet lit. I mean, look, okay, but here, think about this. Let me spin it to you this way.
You and I neither of us prepare, like that, very much at all, but you would have at least kind of a positive association with this thing now that you do not like at all as you're forced into significance of your life. Isn't that something? No, I don't want it, bro. I don't need it.
I don't want it. Interesting. I'm going to do it. Fine.
Okay, I think we fucking crushed it. Yeah, I would say so. That's cool. I would love to finish the episode, but unfortunately I do have a segment to do here at Hour, the Hourmark.
What do you think about that? Oh, sick. What do we got? This is her segment.
It may become a regular segment, actually. Oh, fucking regular segment? He says he hasn't even passed it by the fucking EP yet. This is called a regular segment.
This is called the Jabu flashback. You ready? Oh, what? We're getting in the time machine.
We're closing the door. Crank in the crank, the time crank. Back to a couple weeks ago when we recorded an episode called Beat the Heat. Let me pull back the curtain a little bit.
I would say, and while you can tell me if this is incorrect, I would say basically every time we have an episode, almost every single time we have an episode within two hours, one of us texts, the other one, oh, hey, we forgot to talk about this thing that is almost essential to the conversation of all the other topic we talked about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? We did the Pope episode, which we thought was a heater, and then realized immediately after that, there was a whole thing about washing the Pope's feet.
Or something that we just didn't get to. Big time. Big time. We're going to top the top of the time machine.
And we're going to go back a couple of weeks to beat the heat. And we're going to break the skin on that one more time. I know that wound was healed, but we're breaking the skin on it because we did not even fucking mention water parks. Now, we're not going to reopen the rubric.
That's nonsense talk. No one's going to look at that. But what the dialogue must happen. The discourse exists.
We need to get. So we're just going to do another episode now. I just want you to get. What we could even put a timer on it.
I just want you to get all your water park thoughts out. Oh my god, bro, I'm not even prepared for my water park, though. We've jumped out to the time machine. We've been talking about proposing for an hour.
I don't know what you want to do. This is like your fucking sprung a proposal on me. I'm supposed to be prepared to talk of water parks. OK, what do you want to say about them?
They're filth pits. But I love them. They're filthy. They're disgusting.
Bro, you want to talk about sin? When I was a freak-ass little kid, I used to hit up Hurricane Horber, which is next to Six Flags in about 45 to 15 minute drive away. Sure. Free with a can of Coke or whatever that fucking campaign was.
Yeah, dude. I would get all up in that nasty fucking lazy river. Imagine a clean lazy river. Yeah, impossible.
It's filled with piss. It could be filled with piss. It's on 100% chlorine and still be toxic with piss. Now, let me tell you about water slides.
Is there anything better? Yes, there is, but I do enjoy them. But it's not. They're medium to me.
Let me tell you about funnel cake. I think it's overrated. Yes. Water slide?
No, I need to backtrack to water slides a little bit. Water slides are very fun until you fucking hit that landing pool and the water shoots up your shorts and blows you a new bun, dude. That sucks. Dang, bro.
This is not a problem I am familiar with. Oh my god. I skim across that thing like a rock skipping across a creek. That sucks for you.
It does. What else took place? Like those big group water slides. You know what I'm saying?
Like four people on a tube spinning down a big slide. Yeah, yeah. Or the weird. You ever have one of those.
Those wicked fucking half pipe ones that are just so dangerous? I love them. I love them. They hit the pipe dog.
You got to hit the pipe a couple times in your hurricane harbor. What about the splashy pool though? Very not quite lit. Oh my god.
Splash pool also. Splash pool. Wave pool. Oh, wave pool.
Not horrible though. Let's make a water park where we can scientifically prove that the water is clean and filtered at all times. I mean, I could get you a fucking good start. Don't let kids in.
I mean, that's the problem. Maybe now we're talking adults only. Then it's going to be something else in that water. I'll hit you with another couple of fucking stickers of the water park.
Number one, I don't want to be anywhere. All caps anywhere where most of the people are not wearing shoes or socks. Pass baby. That is a large pass for me.
No, thank you. I hit you with another one. I pretty, hold on. Hold on.
Hold on. I'm pretty sure you have to wear shoes. There's no fucking way. These places allow you to walk around fucking barefoot the amount of glass and shade you can step on.
There's no fucking universe. What shoes are you wearing? You're on a water slide. You're going to do a pool.
You've got water shoes. I think you have to have flip flops or worder shoes, bro. Oh my god, bro. No way.
You can maybe talk about worder shoes. I swear to god. These little critties are walking around with their barefoots. Yeah, they're nasty ass little kids are slapping their feet.
Little feet flapping and slapping. Of course. Yeah. I mean, you want to shoot feet.
I hate it, bro. It's feel. That's the thing. I want to enjoy a water park, but it's absolutely filthy.
It's so gross. It's so gross. And this is not even literally gross. It's like discussing.
It just makes me stick to my stomach with my eyes seeing it. People that show up that aren't in swim trunks. It's like they're swimming in like jean shorts and like a tank top. And it's like, those are your human clothes.
What do you do? I hate that. You came to the water park and you did not have swim at trunks. They just walked from their car.
They just fucking threw it on a whim. Yeah, they got their phone in their pockets. Yeah. They didn't even drive up.
They were walking down the street. They're like, oh, I can fuck with the water park right now. I'm going to get in there. There was another place near me.
I never went to go up raging waters. Shout out to raging waters. I never went. Maybe I did.
Oh, that's the end of the shout out. Cool. Yeah. So that's a little podcast with a podcast about our own podcast.
Yeah. We were in the time machine. We're out of the time machine. Thank you very much.
Thank you for listening. We love you so much. All you beautiful babies. Propose to your person.
Or don't if they're not into that. And it literally doesn't matter. It's all fake. It doesn't matter to us.
Shout out to fucking Philly, dude. What's up? Excuse? A commanding lead over the last month.
Commanding. Say word. What? Talking out over New York is now fully off the grid.
But talking out over LA, Wershington, San Jose, South Carolina, and Miami. Fucking more than all of them combined. Wow. Stand up.
Philly. Out of babes. Thanks, kids. Yeah.
Shout out to Philly. And shout out to Tommy the Knicks, one of the best sandwiches I've ever had in my life. Roseport. Oh, hell yeah.
Same Z. Same Z, same Z. That shit is. That shit rips.
Fishtown. Good as hell. Anyways, that's tight as fuck. Shout out to you.
Out of 50, out of 50, out of 50, out of the talk to music. And for his good, I'm sure, proposal. Shout out to all the friends and family that we love so very much. As always, you know.
As always. Shout out for you. You know who you are. You know exactly the fuck you are.
Shout out to Johnny Stanton for copying some of that fresh merch, baby. Oh, he did, did he? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he's standing in the fourth. You just, you such a good boy. Yeah. Snacked him up a little hoodie.
Snacked him up a little. Funny puck. So keep your people speak for that, baby. Yeah.
And as you can see, the comments on Instagram about where they can buy merch are rolling in. And yeah, the only comment that wrote that was my mom. But it doesn't matter. L.E.B.
Shout out to L.E.B. Big shout out to L.E.B. As always. Shout to you, mom.
I know you see her listen to this. She does for sure. And that's good. I can't wait to see her for whatever the time is.
And that's a wrap. And cut. Let her spread anything like that. Yeah.
No, that's how we end up. And cut. That's a wrap on us. And then we put a bunch of crew noise filter in the background.
Yes. Clapping us off. And then we take one last stop by the craft services table. Grab a quick little slice of baloney.
Shubbing in my mouth. Yeah. Fade to black.