Praise or Pressure? Helping Kids Build Resilience

What if the praise we give children—meant to build them up—is quietly boxing them in? In this thought-provoking short episode, Andy Baker explores The Jessica Effect, inspired by a story in his book Targeting the Positive. We delve into the hidden impact of praise tied to identity, the psychological roots of fixed vs. growth mindset, and how we can better support resilience in children and adults alike. If you’ve ever told a child “you’re so clever” or “you’re such a good boy/girl,” this episode will offer powerful insights into why that might be doing more harm than good—and how we can reframe praise to empower rather than limit. 🛍️ Proudly Sponsored by Carers Card UK Thousands of discounts, a wellbeing hub, emergency ID card features, and a growing community of carers—all for less than a box of chocolates a year. 🎁 Use our link to get yours today:  🎟️ Order your card today 🧰 Resources Mentioned Carol Dweck’s Work on Growth Mindset Learn more: https://mindsetonline.com Andy’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge 📘 Buy it on Amazon 🧠 Three Key Takeaways 1️⃣ Praise Shapes Identity Labelling children as “smart” or “kind” can lock them into fixed roles that create fear around failure or change. 2️⃣ Process Over Person Shift from praising outcomes or traits to praising effort, persistence, and strategies—this builds genuine resilience. 3️⃣ Mindset Matters Praising for identity reinforces a fixed mindset. Praising for effort promotes growth, adaptability, and long-term motivation. ⏱️ Episode Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 – Opening: The power (and pitfalls) of praise 00:55 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK 02:00 – Introducing “The Jessica Effect” 02:48 – Why being called “smart” backfires 03:57 – The danger of identity-based praise 04:53 – Independence, strength & burnout: Adult examples 06:07 – What to do instead: Practical praise swaps 07:12 – The science: Dweck’s research & mindset theory 08:08 – Specific praise that builds behaviour, not ego 09:04 – Why generic praise can be harmful in care settings 11:06 – Final thoughts and call to action 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? If you support children—or anyone, really—this episode offers an essential mindset shift. You'll learn: Why praise can unintentionally create pressure and fear of failure How to make your words more meaningful and supportive The science behind mindset, motivation, and self-worth Perfect for parents, foster carers, teachers, support workers, and anyone in a caregiving or developmental role. 🔗 Follow & Connect 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk