[PREVIEW] 🎙🧚‍♀️ #099 - Old

Join us for an M. Night in as we age ourselves two hours watching one of Rita's favourite flicks from the last decade - a tropical getaway adventure to a secluded beach surrounded by the kind of minerals that would make anyone in the skincare industry shit their pants and fall out of bed screaming. If Neutrogena found out about this little slice of paradise, they'd drop a hydrogen bomb on it. But the thing is, most people wouldn't even need to travel to this magical beach. Aging rapidly whilst feeling trapped and unable to achieve anything? I don't even have to leave my room. Discussed in this episode: OLED screen-protecting features that don't protect your viewing experience from blowing chunks, and demand to be warranty-voidingly disabled Having billions of dollars to spend on scientific research but no pocket change left in the budget to spend on fancying up the hazardous-waste-looking entrance to the beautiful beach you're trying to convince people to visit Lady Gaga's secret cameo Guy's eyebrow-raising method of comforting his kids by grabbing their heads and pressing them into parts of his body Rita being dissatisfied with the quantity of tumours presented to her None of the characters making the mental leap to move away from someone who is slashing at them with a knife M. Night's character being a perfect facsimile, in that he puts himself in full view when he doesn't have to and really shouldn't. The children experiencing the life of a social media influencer: a never-ending bikini-clad beach holiday in which you only focus on your body and never work a single day The aging being caused by mineralchlorians The buy-one-get-one-free-disease couplet of schitzo surgeon and honeycomb-bones trophy bimbo Taking reef conservation way too far by hesitating to break one flimsy stalk of coral to save your drowning sister The previous victim who impulsively did a Hail Mary swim through the coral and didn't make it The beach that makes fonts old Rita Kriepily seeing Joe's mother in every short-haired middle-aged woman DELETED SCENES, including most of Abby Lee's character (none of M. Night's scenes were cut, thank god) Young - the Minnesota-set sequel we need (if you want to sync it up to the film, we hit PLAY @ 0:51)