Problem Not the Problem: Skillful Coach

Sometimes a coachee is already telling us what the problem is without realizing it. At Level 3, the Skillful Coach listens for contradictions in her language: wanting boundaries whileneeding to be available, wanting to delegate while needing it done right, wanting her evenings back while worrying someone might need her. Michelle explores how to reflect those contradictions, how to separate facts from the meaning a coachee attaches to them, and what happens when being unavailable feels selfish. The episode also looks at how constant availability can teach people to depend on us, and how “I just do it because it’s faster” can create the very cycle a leader wants to escape. The coachee moves from shame toward ownership, and the Skillful Coach stays humble: we found another layer, not “the real issue.” Have a question or a coaching moment you’d like Michelle to explore on the podcast? Email [email protected]. Grow your ability to hear what people are really telling you. Enroll in the January Coaching Academy today, and we’ll send you weekly growth resources until class begins. Details at CA.GrowBy1.com. Reflection Questions What contradictions do I hear in my coachees’ language, and how do I usually respond when I notice them? How could I help someone separate what actually happens from the meaning they attach to it? How might the people I coach have trained others to expect things from them, and how could I explore that without blame? Where might my own “it’s faster if I do it” be keeping others dependent on me? How do I keep the coachee as the interpreter when I believe I have found another layer?