Protecting Your Children: What Every Parent Should Know About Sexual Abuse & Trauma episode artwork

EPISODE · Feb 20, 2026 · 42 MIN

Protecting Your Children: What Every Parent Should Know About Sexual Abuse & Trauma

from Been There Got Out Podcast · host Chris & Lisa | Sara Vandenburg

Sara Vandenburg brings a perspective you won't find anywhere else: she's both a highly credentialed therapist specializing in childhood sexual abuse AND a survivor who has done the deep healing work to talk about her own experience "like the weather." In this profoundly important conversation with Lisa Johnson, Sara shares insights that could literally save children's lives and transform families.Why Sara's voice matters: As someone who experienced incest by both biological parents over an eight-year period and has trained extensively in trauma therapy (LCSW Supervisor, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Brain Spotting certified), Sara understands both the clinical realities and the lived experience of familial sexual abuse. Her ability to discuss her own trauma with complete peace demonstrates what's possible with proper therapeutic support.This interview offers guidance no other resource provides - the intersection of professional expertise, personal recovery, and practical strategies for parents navigating the most difficult situations imaginable in high-conflict custody cases.What You'll Learn:✅ How one in three girls and one in ten boys experience childhood sexual abuse✅ Why incest may occur in one in ten households (and why it's severely underreported)✅ The critical difference between sexual abuse by anyone vs. abuse within families✅ Sara's concept of the "elephant in the room" - why untreated trauma affects your children✅ How family secrets travel through generations even when children don't know the details✅ The neuroscience behind why stored trauma in your body creates vulnerability in your kids✅ A powerful story of three-generational disclosure and healing✅ How to create an environment where children feel safe telling you anything✅ Why your reaction to small disclosures determines whether children will share bigger concerns✅ What brain spotting therapy is and how it releases stored trauma from the body✅ How brain spotting differs from EMDR (both use bilateral brain stimulation)✅ The importance of finding therapists who understand your trauma doesn't define you✅ Age-appropriate language for teaching body safety to children as young as 4-5✅ Why pornography exposure at ages 8-9 means earlier conversations are essential✅ Documentation strategies when you notice behavioral changes in your child✅ How to distinguish between patterns and isolated incidents✅ Understanding healthy shame (humanity, humility, responsibility)✅ Understanding healthy guilt (values and amends)✅ What complete healing looks like - being able to discuss trauma matter-of-factly✅ Why waiting until children are 25+ is often best for certain disclosuresAbout Sara Vandenburg, LCSW-S: Sara Vandenburg is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Supervisor in Texas and Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Hawaii with specialized training in treating familial sexual abuse and trauma. Her credentials include:- Licensed Clinical Social Worker Supervisor (Texas)- Licensed Clinical Social Worker (Hawaii)- Certified Sex Addiction Therapist- Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor- Certified in Brain Spotting (advanced somatic therapy)Sara's micro-niche is familial sexual abuse, and she offers counseling, coaching, and energy healing services through her practice. Her forthcoming book, "Choosing to Love Again: Overcoming the Kind of Betrayal That Nobody Talks About," provides 60% personal memoir and 40% clinical guidance with experiential exercises for healing from profound betrayal.📚 RESOURCES & CONTACT INFORMATION:Sara Vandenburg:Website: tonalliservices.comServices offered: Counseling, coaching, energy healingBook a free complimentary conversation to explore working togetherUpcoming book: "Choosing to Love Again: Overcoming the Kind of Betrayal That Nobody Talks About" (2026 release)

Sara Vandenburg brings a perspective you won't find anywhere else: she's both a highly credentialed therapist specializing in childhood sexual abuse AND a survivor who has done the deep healing work to talk about her own experience "like the weather." In this profoundly important conversation with Lisa Johnson, Sara shares insights that could literally save children's lives and transform families. Why Sara's voice matters: As someone who experienced incest by both biological parents over an ...

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Protecting Your Children: What Every Parent Should Know About Sexual Abuse & Trauma

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This episode was published on February 20, 2026.

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Sara Vandenburg brings a perspective you won't find anywhere else: she's both a highly credentialed therapist specializing in childhood sexual abuse AND a survivor who has done the deep healing work to talk about her own experience "like the...

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