Proud of that skin full of scars

I was sexually, mentally , physically and verbally abused by someone who I wasn’t related to from age to nine to age thirteen. For years being blamed for event that I didn’t cause, it took years to accept who I was and that it wasn’t my fault. I felt ashamed and guilty for years. Certain people I don’t have relationships with, because they would rather play the victim, instead of taking accountability. Was I perfect child, no, but I least I tried to make amends, correct my mistakes. For years these individuals would flip the story, to fit their narrative, walking away and haven’t spoken to them in six years was one choice I had left. I miss my mom and sister, but it either my health or sanity. I still have my four brothers and dad, and his family. Proud of that skin full of scars, I still have scars, but I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am without my past. I have lighter burns, I was choked, slapped, hit I the face and more. My life was threatened if I chose to speak up. I did keep evidence on my phone for a nine year old, to prove I was innocent. I have a lifetime restraining order against this person and they can’t be in the same state as me, it doesn’t mean that I will ever feel safe. A forty year old man who should know right from wrong, for years I had to learn how to break the chains. I was expected to pretend like this didn’t happen, to brush it under the rug, because he was someone’s finance. Disregard what I went through, I will admit I don’t trust men, I am doing a lot better with it, but I can’t trust you over night. Many think I playing games or the victim, which I am not, but if you never experience abuse, you have no room to judge. I have nothing to hide, I always take accountability when I need to, I always correct my mistakes or make amends, but before you judge a book by its cover. Maybe put yourself in the other’s persons shoes.