Toxic Friendships, Puberty & ‘Pick Me Girls’: What Teen Girls Want Parents to Know INTERVIEW WITH MY TEENS

Ask Rachel anything How can you tell when your daughter is dealing with a genuinely toxic friendship rather than the normal ups and downs of teenage relationships? What should you do when puberty suddenly makes her self-conscious about her changing body? And what on earth is a “pick me girl”? In this episode of Teenagers Untangled, I’m joined by my teenage daughters, Phoebe and Amelia, to answer real questions from parents of girls — and hear what these issues actually feel like from the other side. We start with puberty and the difficult moment when a girl can suddenly become intensely aware of her changing body. Should parents initiate conversations about bras and body changes, or wait for their daughter to come to them? And can our attempts to protect girls from embarrassment or the “male gaze” accidentally make them feel ashamed of bodies they hadn't previously worried about? Then we tackle toxic teenage friendships: how to recognise them, why subtle put-downs and unpredictable affection can be so damaging, and why sometimes having fewer friends — or even spending a period without a friendship group — can be healthier than desperately trying to fit in. Finally, Phoebe and Amelia explain the bewildering world of the “pick me girl.” What started as a label for girls who seek male validation has become something that can be thrown at almost any girl who dares to be different. We explore whether the label itself has become another way of policing girls and their behaviour. It’s a funny, thoughtful and revealing conversation about puberty, body image, friendship problems, peer pressure, belonging, confidence and raising teenage girls — with plenty for parents to think about. In this episode: How to talk to girls about puberty without embarrassing them First bras, body changes and body confidence Why commenting on girls' bodies can have unintended consequences How to spot a toxic teenage friendship Frenemies, subtle put-downs and friendship insecurity Helping teenagers understand their own worth When to repair a friendship — and when to walk away Why having no friends temporarily isn't necessarily a disaster What “pick me girl” actually means Why girls use the term against each other Male validation, fitting in and internalised misogyny Helping girls feel confident enough to simply be themselves If you're raising a tween or teenage girl, this episode offers a fascinating glimpse into what girls themselves wish parents understood. Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook