with a low and all you JK Simmons and JK Rowling's welcome to another episode of Jesse and Wilder's Guide to Life. I'm Jesse, that's Wilder and we're here to guide your life. One of those JKs is much better than the other. Yeah unfortunately it's gotta be I mean if you will let you select your JK of choice.
I hope it's all Simmons out there. I hope it's all Simmons out there. There is a wrong answer on that one. Yeah.
What's good. I got I got some voicemails to go over. We have like a proper mail bag at this point. Like it's not even a segment it's sort of just like I will say we got no responses to the riddle.
That was not one of the voicemails. That's crazy because it was the easiest one yet. I can't remember what it was. A library.
You know right okay short pages or something. Flight I don't know. Right before we hopped on Wilder was talking about how tired he is of riddles. You guys could imagine his great exhaustion after doing it for what six episodes maybe?
Feels like six years. Well we can't do more content on how to end the episode so that you're just gonna have to figure that one out offline. We should do a live stream of me looking for riddles is what I'm hearing you say and I agree. That's terrible stuff.
We're talking pubic transportation. Oh that's tight. Yeah dude. Just dropped the L out of it pretty good.
We kind of do edgy stuff now. That's kind of our part. Well comedy became illegal when all the snowflakes came out and said it can't be funny anymore. Yeah winter is coming dude but instead of real snow it's the snowflakes.
The millennials dude. I think I can't remember I can't make heads of damn tails of it. I'm so tired. You take a lot of public transportation here?
Zero. I you know in San Francisco 100% of the time I was taking public transit in LA 30% of the time I was taking public transit. Okay so I'm gonna say to Marit like I was gonna say small cities but LA is a giant city that just doesn't have that infrastructure is a demerit right that's what yeah that's like counter to the whole thing. I love public transit.
I wish I never had to drive a car again unless it was a road trip of my choosing. I hate driving a car in a short distance or in traffic. It could go to hell I'd rather sit on an unmoving train. Yeah I I agree with you and I don't think I really understood the pinnacle of public transportation until like in America at least until I lived in New York.
Like even in San Francisco it's fine the late night options are tough like I don't know you and I have both did the whole thing because we also went to school like right as Lyft and Uber or not even Lyft probably just Uber. It wasn't out when we were in college it came out I remember it was my first year out of college because I had just moved back to LA thinking how does one get home from a bar in this city if there's no Muni to take me to my doorstep. Yes yes and then someone was like this a man will come to your house and drive you anywhere you want. And in those days it wasn't even in like a Prius it was like a man in his 89 Volkswagen Golf that was a two-door and you're gonna climb over yeah I don't think someone picked me up in the first car I ever had that I had sold.
Yeah so sub-optimal but like so even in San Francisco there were those nights where like we are coming home from the Richmond which like as the crow flies should have been a 15-minute journey like door to door and instead it's like we're sitting there waiting for that wasn't the owl right there what was that like the owl was the one that came every 45-45-45 yeah yeah but that was tight because it still is there you were never fucked right right it was just like Evan is obviously a bonus point or like a or a minimum yeah yeah yeah yeah the bar shutting down at midnight is crazy to me like what are we up to let me tell you about the tube tell me like a month experience can we get a category we do trains is that it's yeah trains yeah and like are we saying that like an airplane is public transit I thought about this and sound off episode on that yes sound off in the comments I think no and I think the big difference is public money versus not public money right like and like accessibility seems like it goes hand-in-hand with public transit yes yes so like and just like it's not public it's private I mean if it was public we wouldn't have a Boeing fucking higher-ups getting killed every time they mentioned that fucking planes might suck that's not happening just bought a fucking Boeing flight so yeah I don't think you could buy many other flights I think they're all Boeing so tough stuff okay so I don't know it the tube is very efficient very old yep and last I was there did not run after the pubs are letting out okay okay it's does closes early dude what are you doing England is like all they do is drink there's nothing else that happens in that place yeah drink in general the underground trains run from five to five thirty a.m. until the last train leaves around midnight midnight night earlier than Bart and Bart is like a commuter train I could get to trade at like 1230 at least on a Bart that's like a weekend or that goes until two or something some lines it's like some lines London's so big so that's not so to me you know some fucking Englishman is gonna chime in in the car you guys didn't mention the trolley that runs from four you come to four forty one it's you know it's from fucking blistering curve on the way to fucking magic down it's just six pence and you get on the horse and it takes you right there chip cheerio yeah that's only for Ellie there who doesn't listen of course he definitely doesn't listen yeah for sure who is now shameless in pretending that she does it now she just texts me about it I didn't listen but if you did happen to mention this okay so tube is a tube that it sounds like yeah tube and I think like is run maybe runtime is its own category there's not gonna be a ton there but it feels like it deserves something closing it midnight like I guess it is a two because I think there are some that close earlier I feel like efficiency is a category yeah yeah yeah efficient you know I'm saying yeah I don't efficiency's not quite the word maybe it's infrastructure actually because that to me is like accounting for a lot of stuff it needs to run late make it 24 sev New York good job on that one yeah no shit it is killer and you can't even complain about having to wait like 25 minutes it's like okay so what the fucking AC on those New York trains is like fucking step into the top of a Arctic mountain it's incredible shit it's the best place to be in New York in the summer without question is on a train yeah bonus point is the AC if you catch me in New York in the summer I will just be on a train until the temperature gets better the downside is that they have somehow it feels like all of the power to make the AC in the trains is being sucked from the power to make the platform in the summer even one ounce of comfortable you do have to endure a few brutal minutes in Satan's intro oh my god it is harder than the blazes of the underworld you know like when you have a fever and you wake up and you're just like sweating and it feels like every piece of cloth in your house is stuck to you somehow yeah that's what it's like to stand on the New York subway platform in like August but it's also like it makes the reward that much sweeter it's like if you had to starve yourself for a week and then you get to have your favorite food I love a as far as infrastructure goes I love a I need a commanding presence behind the wheel of whatever public transportation I'm riding a tight ship it needs to be a tight ship and that's a tough job that's one captain and you're talking about a whole train of people or even a full bus one time I don't know where this is one time Chelsea and I were on a bus in New York and the guy stopped the bus the driver stopped the bus and he opens up the door and nobody gets off the front but he's chatting it up with somebody on the street it's almost like he just saw a friend but we were actually pretty close to where we need to get off so we go and I'm never the back door guy if you're someone of the people that screaming back door on a bus you've done something wrong you don't need to do that guys it's never it's actually never been necessary push on the thing the thing that's a push for exit it opens you don't have that's never ever been on any of the instructions but we're trying to get off this motherfucking bus and I'm rattle in the back door nothing's happening bus drivers chopping it up I'm like this motherfucker doesn't something's going on and I'm yelling back door back door back door and I do like four times and then he goes it's not stop it's not stop you can't get off here okay why did we stop it's not a stop this is crazy you can't just have a stop and chat expect me to know that it's not a stop and then what not let me off but this is why this is a two it because if you're someone else on that train I'm like okay this guy's in charge I like to I don't mind a driver who knows he's in charge yeah I just wish he wasn't stopping for a chat you know what I mean mm-hmm hate a stop in chat with it's I'm on a fucking bus bus is obviously category which hate I don't you know what I like is an overground car mm-hmm I prefer it I'll give it a two because they move so much slower because you're going through traffic and stuff true but I do like it is like a bird scooter a public transit it's tough because it is a part of our transportation infrastructure but it is like there's probably and it's not public anyone can have it anyone can have it but it is not to me public transportation is like it's done with taxpayer money right versus like bird is some person but I guess like yeah it's transportation the public I guess like other like less public ones I used to love them motherfucks and I don't know what I was thinking I would rather I would take them home from bars what what in the world how did I not die yeah bird bird scooters down Hollywood Boulevard like a idiot bird scooters or two I find them to be because like what are they not convenient of course they're convenient I've had a fun aren't they they're fun unless you get a couple of different times I've gotten I've had a daisy chain like four of them shits because everyone I got on has like 18% battery and it's gonna take me a quarter of a mile and it's like well this is so slow oh my god in the city brother if you're hitting a hill and you have less than 50% battery you might as well fucking crawl you have a hundred percent battery you're not getting up that hill on a fucking bird scooter on a Samrots go hill no thank you no but they do serve their their purposes it's a two because boy I hate them I hate them to be around I hate them strap to every pole in my neighborhood they frequently get thrown into Lake Merritt in Oakland pair here people throw them in the air yeah I see him in the lake yeah it is funny and you know some poor guy whose job is to collect him comes up and it's like God damn it damn it fucking scooter like fucking fans gonna be wet again shit what about rebels dude those are gone by the way because too many people died on them but the thing we ripped around on in Austin we think about that pop on a little public moped spin the spin the revolver put up to fucking and see what happens I do those were unbelievably clutched New York I bet oh I believe like I don't know just like oh yeah this other bar is you know we could walk it would be like a 25 minute walk but instead let's you know Cruz there's so many things that happen on the bus one of the worst things that can happen on a bus is anything happening on a bus other than sitting there's unscrupulous characters uh-huh there are characters my I think characters its own category to be honest public transit's kind of its own ecosystem there's many different flora and fauna I can I tell you one of the worst all-time characters hit me anytime there is a music fest in your city and you are on honestly any themed festival throw Santa con in there as well you accidentally fuck around and up on a part train with my god you 50 Santa con I just not fucking chills imagine Razy a mad this is amnite if you need an idea for your next movie here's how it starts you're on a train and everything's normal and then all of a sudden doors open up and it's a fucking thousand sannas each one drunker than the last throwing up on each other at one time I was at a brewery and I didn't know was Santa con which is the worst day yes to not know what day it is yes and in like a fucking zombie horde they came and they did not it was like a tower defense game they just kept coming and coming and coming and our towers were not strong enough and we fled oh you fled you bit of shit fuck yeah we have an issue with the entire brewery gets taken over by sannas it's out for me I'm done I actually think a horror movie set around Santa con is not a horrible idea I'm gonna file that well like a zombie I'll break will be fun because I already like zombies yeah you just kill them up you wouldn't even and you can't really talk as well and jolly costumes uh-huh yeah Santa con or any other festival I mean even something cool even something cool right like or I don't know what's a cool neutral like a marathon you know that you got on a bus and you're there with you know all the people that are coming from the brook or no marathons yeah fucking really fuck public transit yeah yes and it's like a freeway closure or construction oh any detours oh god like nothing worse than when a train is like hey the track between station A and station B is closed so you're gonna get off at station A and get on a shuttle and that's gonna take you to station B and then you get back on the train it's like no I don't think I will actually go to hell yeah I don't think I will go into a game dude you know that last couple of stops before the stadium where all the fucking fans get on that shit is not fun it's really not however being at the game and then leaving a big win and leaving with the fans come on yeah yeah big high-fives I went to the other team and you fucking kill them dude you murder them for real in real life I went to a giant's Mets game where the Giants beat the Mets in a playoff game and it was a it was a wild card game so it was single elimination so the Giants knocked him out of the playoffs and we got on it was me and two other Giants fans and an entire horde of mess fans on the subway out of Queens and it was it was silent it was dead silent we didn't say anything like we're not trying like what fucking murdered on the fucking seven yeah and some guy just some guy goes hey at least we got the Jets JE T and he didn't even finish in this other guy went hey can you shut the fuck up and it was quiet for like 45 minutes yeah that's that's not a good vibe I wouldn't like to get back on the train after a loss I'm gonna walk a few blocks yeah big time oh dude how about when it when there's weather the train is also not great because everybody's stanky and wet and they got they got nasties all over them yeah I don't for I don't that's just like a regular demerit I think weather I often found myself waiting for a bus in the snow in New York and it just sucks ass and then you get on I mean the trade off with New York the cool AC is that like they do also blast the heat in the winter true which is cool it tell but you have to shed every I got a hundred fucking layers on yeah now it's not that cool though because it gets to the right temperature you have to tickle your shit off and then otherwise if you're in there too long you're roasting like a night turkey yeah East Coast does not have that figured out I get it like you want to be cozy but when I come into a restaurant just let a little bit of heat I was already wearing all the shit or not it's an enclosed space you have to do anything sucks so yeah weather is a is a demerit for sure characters dude obviously a one is a people who are moving something big on public church like you ever get on like a bus and these guys are like moving a dresser oh we found this on the street it's like yeah brother you should have left it I don't know what to tell you this sucks where we put like this is very specifically New York but like performers it's a one to me I can't I hate it it's it's the difference between seeing it for the first time and seeing it for the second time oh my god is crazy yeah I can't I some people really like it even does not that I don't like the second part no I don't it's yeah the it makes me feel bad obviously no I don't want to okay one more category would be would be like purpose right why are you taking public transportation yeah and I think commute I think is a three yes commute is a three that is correct errands is a one I think oh my god errands dude you need a car when you need to get to and from a place how much transit really about the journey isn't it which kind of sucks it kind of sucks about the places yeah actually the the one thing I tried to avoid in New York on film transit was commuting because I did I it was I had to transfer like twice transferring oh my god it's such a one it's not it depends it really depends on the place yeah I bar is a breeze yeah it's true it's true and like especially like LA because it's there's so few lines that like you transfer and you basically got off the platform another one comes to you you know to cross the thing basically just like a different train comes to you so sometimes it's no big D yeah I yes I agree but then there is the the trade off of like sometimes it's like which is it transferring in London is hell on earth you got to go through a million tunnels and traps to get to your new train I think it's I want to correct me they can't I think Fulton Street in New York is like notorious like it feels like you're walking a mile underground to this other platform don't make it you don't know which way you're going oh my god I need signage guys I need signage like I need Aaron my lungs please I need so much signage dude signage bonus points fucking I fuck with signage so hard yeah everywhere baby give it to me how you like your lines to be named colors letters numbers I don't know if there's numbers I kind of like a color New York has numbers and letters mm-hmm and I think they are significant I think it's like numbers run East West letters run North South I might be wrong about that though I'll tell you the worst one the tube which is all named after wacky ass places in England pick a daily line and the fucking I can't be with come on I was not enough colors in the rainbow to have enough lines for them but fuck me yeah I think it's got to be colors is elite because a big thing that I had not considered because of where religion where English speakers is like if you speak fucking if you only know how to read Spanish and you get on and it's like pick a daily and shit like this happened to me in Rome I think their lines were like name shit and I was just like yeah okay I guess I'll just find this Italian word hopefully and not mix it up with these other three Italian words that look exactly the same to me colors money yeah I think Boston maybe also I might be making that up yeah bark barters colors I prefer what about what if we did shapes I was reading something at one point about a country that had like pretty low literacy rates like they just didn't have a lot of readers and they use shapes for that exact reason fucking Jesse's house come on bro come on bro come on bro you know I've been working on my reading but they did shapes or what they did shapes just so much yeah I think I'm I do think numbers is tight I mean I guess numbers if you're like from an Eastern country maybe there's like a like an Asian country maybe numbers like the same but for the most part you're getting in we do the job who system because guess what this episode's boring as fuck dude I don't think so I think you're crazy to say that we can but we have nothing for bus so I need I need something else bus is probably my least favorite hundred percent how about this a three for bus when they have a dedicated lane like that's a thing in some place in New York when it's just like our fucking bus lane stay out of it cars we're fucking zipping and bipping yes fuck out of the way I love this big time this is something I think like most places use now but until we are still from a time which makes me sound 10,000 years old we are still from a time when we used to have to put moneys in a little fucking buses upgrading do that anymore no baby it's all touch like you use your clipper on your phone to scan into Muni same thing that don't have smartphones you can buy a clipper card but now at least it works the same as bark did right where you have a plastic card that has money on it all the color the cool monthly Muni passes that all that cool colorful shit I taped it to my wall like the most college fucking shit I've ever collected trash and put it on this on the thinnest garbage paper that ever existed all crumpled from your pocket right next to my fucking z's and sorry live at the film oh tight dude that's so cool that's tight efficiency I love the on the phone thing okay something I think is um that being said I do think that it's cool you ever seen like an original like New York subway token or like a Muni token that's tight when that's when they their own currency that sounds like a pain in the ass but it is cool as fuck yeah dude you drill a tiny hole through it or have a little fucking on it right now obviously for free please is Snorlack one of your students Snorlack on letterbox oh probably do that I knew letterbox followers gang I don't I didn't have any letterbox followers and now I have you yeah I also know we're reading these musings I might have to go and take a look at what I've said in the past welcome to my house brother is mine this is why I don't post what's the job you line dude tell me well it flies do it's an all terrain it goes into water it's a water all terrain is sick like oh dude we didn't talk about the fucking both Quack bus or whatever yeah dude it's not public transportation that's like saying the double decker tour buses or public transport hop on hop off oh the double decker bus that they got in London what is that you like that shit what about triple what if it was just one what if it was like a like a boxy type of thing but it went up like a fucking building on wheels here yeah what buildings were public transit no now we're talking no we're not I'm gonna put double decker is it too they kind of scare me seems to get just a tip over I could feel like I could not get over to be honest easy easy get on a ladder push at the top no sweat yeah the duck boat is obviously nothing however never been on it but it's not public transportation it's like a tour bus but boats some places got to have boat transportation I say fairy a fairy is kind of a fairy a fairies tight I love a fairy I'm gonna be very clean or pleasant because I do like boats to be a little clean and pleasant and a fairy is not that but some like I don't know obviously you got like fuck is that an island obviously you got like fucking forage yeah we have a shit with a fairy in the area that I very you like the my beloved is loves a fairy that you can drink a beer on and it doesn't matter are there fairies you can't drink a beer right well that's question number one right but it's like um it's almost like how you think a hot dog at a baseball game tastes better you know it's a same deal I think cuz I'm like it's how many dogs you cram last night I went to minor league baseball games last night yeah a couple of big boys just lining up separately I only had one dog but I got they had like an XL you know they had the standard and then the big baller dog you know I don't know who the fuck you think I am yeah I'm gonna get this little chicken shit fucking chucky cheese if someone gave me a hot dog and there was an option for the XL I would have thrown it out there and then I got a big keep in pilot garlic fries so you know that breath was home and yeah baby would you slam down three four five dogs no buns only just two just two because that was only dinner part one you know how it goes I do yeah shout out if you're eating hot dogs on the bus it's a pass you can't be honestly eating on a bunch of transportation anything except for a mildly smelly chip like not even a fucking not even fucking nacho Doritos like just like you get lays you get plain lays and a bottle of water can of soda is fine otherwise fucking don't bring your tuna melon cheetah like it's an airplane don't bring your fucking egg salad don't bring your fucking in and out don't bring your fucking Jersey Mike's is making you smell the aragon though I don't want to deal with that what's the most heinous thing you could see somebody eating on public transportation to me worse than something I don't want is something I want so it's in and out like someone fucking brought in and out on a plane one time brother I wanted to that's rip their skull from their body extremely extremely disrespectful be eater I try not to eat anything on a train I used to after school the trouble is New York the other thing New York has this has got to be a bonus point the little shops in on the platform on the platform itself so I'm already waiting for my train I'm not gonna be late I'm right where I need to be you're telling me combos right here tell me a little after work Snickers come on and a lot of the london train stations have little you know little pre-made sandwiches okay it doesn't smell dude a little ham and lettuce on a bread is fine you can have your ham and lettuce on bread it's okay yeah a little snack shop is I don't think you can get mad at someone for eating something that the place sells that said don't fucking order notches at the movie theater okay we talked about it yeah hot dog in the lobby like a gentleman I think that the grossest thing the worst thing that you could I could see somebody eating on besides like obviously like if they were eating like a human arm obviously that'd be very gross for other reasons but like sure very gross I think wings dude I think a wet wing just because it's like where are you gonna go with these guys with these nasty little paws you got now please Christ and your oh god and you definitely time you had to at least touch one thing in this zone it's no good pizza keep it it pizza's tough yeah you know thank you um fast food toss it it's no you can plain lays in a bottle of water or a sandwich that they sell yeah it's it um and it's don't bring a slurpee anywhere please don't pretty good I gotta say yeah you like that somebody's been practicing I didn't expect it to be that good characters dude transit cops it's a one right yeah yeah toss some narks one to cut I the New York City transit cops kind of famously there's always like 40 at every station all looking at their phones I don't know they're all doing nothing but one time when I was like in my biggest hurry they fucking random stop and search me it's like you guys this sucks it feels like you're doing on purpose and it sucks guess what I had nothing can't believe it right yeah they didn't find your freaking weapons mm-hmm yeah katana yeah I was keep a katana strapped which are our question be for Spotify this week I don't know man if all the public transportation spot who would win okay you're here first if all the public transportation spot who would win that is what my graph wants um I like a as far as trains go I like a like commuter train like a metro north it goes up to like fucking white haven or whatever I think it has to be a two just because it's not as if it doesn't feel as efficient but Amtrak and shit yeah yeah oh my god Amtrak so fucking slow Amtrak a borderline demerit that motherfuck is but is very pretty which is okay to be slow when it's like I took a train as you know from you in Brooklyn to Boston and it was very beautiful even though it went about a fucking half a mile an hour yeah no I I've taken the Amtrak from Emeryville to Santa Barbara and it like goes along the coastlines basically driving the one very nice it's so beautiful it took 10 hours no thank you that is long crazy yeah what are they good we have no good characters is that right I don't know what I mean someone that sits fucking quietly doesn't look at me or talk to me and pretends like I'm not there that's a good character I have one that I am that is a one unfortunately I can't I can't help it but like bike you brought your bike on the train unfortunately that's a one you have to I get it but it's in the way it doesn't really bother me unless people look angry at me for being in the way of their bike yeah then I'm ready to have words yeah I hate I don't mind being a the person on the train with the bike when there are like three of us on the same train I start to feel so anxious I'm just like I'm sorry I'm sorry everyone I'm sorry we're all in the way I'm not with them but we're all in the way mmm my bike is a big boy let's just do a quick job you line and then we'll get to mailbag okay what's your job the line tell me it's got lines it goes in the water like duck boat amphibious oh bro it come you get in your seat and guess what comes down boom little fucking stay away from me a little silo you like a pod yeah dude pod bus woboos pod bus interesting pod bus woboos pod bus it's so gross dude hop on the pod bus baby hop on the fucking woboos pod bus you I'm just imagining like the it's like a moving version of the oh man you haven't even seen these fucking movies it's a like where Neo wakes up in the matrix in the pod with them okay you don't talk about it yeah so this is your bus this disgusting pod not filled with fluid it's just like a little glass dome so that if I can separate you so no can touch you or talk to you and it's sound pod is a pod is a bit pod is a merit pod bus all the rage I guess what you got cuz it smells in there so you could just select your smell forest evergreen mmm bubble gum what I do like that smells like bubble gum you nasty boy you reek of new car smell when you get off the train you know that's all it is the smell is just you get to pick one of those little fucking airframe in there black smell it's so funny that sucks dude no pods to merit obviously but you did remind me of something that is fresh on those big long train rides a private car like a little like a private oh dude snack on the snack car is a thrill yeah while this pod bus got a snack got a restaurant obviously a restaurant like a full service back in the making truck that's the order in the little window in the back so kind of a fairy to be honest that's a fairy you get a fairy sometimes you are surprised by what they got oh you guys have chowder yeah yeah that's interesting we're gonna just pick up people along the way and decide they I interview their menu I think in general a like a train car with a purpose is like they have the the view cars on Amtrak where you go up and it's all glass and it's like you know it's a class it's fucking clear it's plastic so you can see the all that the sky and the fucking you know whatever's in front of you that is tight to me I love a little zone with a purpose you know what I mean yeah when you're on the train go on let's say you're on on Bart or whatever try whatever train you're most familiar with what's your ideal seat situation I like the I mean ideal seat situation is the handicap seat right next to the door bingo what I can have whatever the closest one whatever the closest I'll see to that handicap seat that I can have so you want you want proximity to exit fuck yeah I want proximity to do I want to get in get out unless it's a long unless I got like an hour if I'm on one train for one hour I'll talk into the back corner that's cool with me I'll take it yeah yeah I like that I'm gonna give Bart had these things with that like some of the longer trains have the four pod where they face each other I hate the fucking four pod dude I hate that shit it's so weird it's tough because when you have a when you have a squad how often is that happening on public transit I know it doesn't fucking like at best it's to you and then you get another to some and that's better the problem and the problem with the four pod I'm gonna put the four pod as a one the problem with the four pod obviously even on an icer train is anytime you get on it what you see is someone using one of those as a foot rest so it's just covered in fucking footsy tootsie detritus like I don't want to I don't want the four pod it's weird no but when you have it with four people what if real I just happen to me maybe one so rarely am I on a train with I know in the area where the four pod is available I know yeah four-pods sucks as far as seats on the bus can I tell you the three for me on the New York buses they got the little and a lot of buses but the New York ones they have the step up right you get halfway to the bus and you step up a little bit now next part of the buses uh-huh the seat that is directly to the left if you're walking on the bus directly to the left yeah up the stairs so you are on the elevated platform you can see everything like a little Lord in your domain you have eyes on both exits very straight away you can catch the eyes of the fucking driver in the mirror if you want uh-huh that's the shit I like I feel like I'm in a fucking crows nest you know here big battle station I love one back of the bus dude whatever whoever said that was where the cool kids go oh when because then you're you're more than one person in oh my god like three yes yeah no movie theater oh like a five sometimes I feel like there's like five back there and you can get pocketed that in college is where us little hood rats would congregate though we would fill out the whole section that was better if you're by yourself it's a no-go right to me trapped on that on the way from the airport like if I'm taking the airport shuttle to the to the uber lot or whatever then you're in there and you got your bags surrounded by fucking Mongrels dog I think purpose airport is almost a one I love to do it I think it should at least be a two but is there much worse than dragging your big fucking luggage onto a bus so worth it to me for the reliability it is it is I'm happy to do I also go my paras Hilton I got like 17 magic suitcases I got a duffled bag usually I just hate it bro it also it's like I'm so spoiled because of SFO we're like the fucking train train to the station yes yes going to something important like a wedding or something it's a one dude so much I haven't done that damn what are you doing when you're on there you read on I love to I love to read on there fuck yeah phone game first and foremost if I got like I'm standing I'm not reading I might be standing we could be like those fucking yelts is in New York they have their little newspaper folded into a quarter and they look at their looking at the fucking reports the newspaper I didn't know as in the presence of the most well-informed person in all of the city Oh read the news you must be so much more aware of everything fucking every single person on the tube is reading the fucking newspaper do that oh my god yeah right see this the same I mean fuck you if you read the newspaper on the fucking daily crumpet on the tube yeah fucking tell me the top stories about the daily fucking crumpet bro oh my god fucking aluminium daily newspaper sucks guy reads newspapers like one character right like congratulations bro this is the only time you get to squeeze in your fix of knowing you already know you can just take a guess you know what's going on I I think we should obviously support newspapers support local but not in front of me yeah but reading a newspaper almost anywhere other than your fucking kitchen table is so performative yes you ever see somebody with a newspaper on the airplane get fuck you kidding me it's practically yesterday's news by the time you start reading it bozo if my music was broken and the tablets were broken there was nothing else to do on the airplane but sit and stare ahead I still wouldn't read the fucking newspaper oh god well I have one last thing I did this briefly and then got over it you can't you can't play your real video games on the bus you can that's fine but like if you have your Nintendo switch you have your game boy I always feel like if I really like a game badly enough to want to play it on a plane that I can't fucking get through the plane right without my fix I want to do it on my television yeah yeah a plane is a little different to me I don't mind a switch on the plane if I'm gonna be fucking around for three hours up there yeah maybe I'll get into it but like a like a bus like how long you gonna be on that bus brother like come on minutes give me a break you can get through 15 minutes okay one last thing for me okay alcohol and drigas I think it's a little fun to drink on the public transportation well you know we killed that flask ocar on the way of the Warriors game and then remember nothing about the Warriors yeah full blackout on that one I'd remember they won I remember a joyous day I remember also taking public transportation to bars is obviously a three that's like the main reason I want it what I saw someone get on bar with a full open like one of those big corona's you know it's like almost like a 40 and they had it in like the pocket of their hoodie or like their zip up and they must have just forgotten it was in there because they sat down and that thing upended right away and it was pretty cool good job just got all over them all over the field you do bro you get a little can of beer bottle beer in your inside cup pocket and then big straw oh oh it's like the whole time no even knows Nathan feel the rats basically I would say it's a business with beans but you've already done big long straw as a business with pizza you can't always in the market for a big long straw got me a glass straw recently pretty good straw yeah glass straw is huge it's actually massive that's the best reusable to cut out of it oh I don't we drink it hot out of a straw coffee hot coffee out of a straw out of a mug in a book well because coffee stains your teeth oh my god oh yeah these fucking pearly yellows are early yellow enough oh that's hilarious read me the mail it's mail time we got a voicemail from well just read it to you did you get the did the voicemail set up I did and I did it like four hours after the episode posted and we got a we actually got a voicemail from Jacob Rubin that said wait I thought I was gonna hear Donald Duck when I called it was just Jesse all right bye so check in now folks good good good but we got a message from OJ who recently showed me that he has saved our voicemail on his phone oh so I guess expect more where that came from he's a good he's a good boy hey Jesse Wilder big fans first time long time this is OJ and Mel we're currently on a road trip we're listening to them great time to listen to us we have literally nothing else to put in here we're listening to them at bulk so sorry that this is a bit late but on the drunk episode we feel that there was an or an amount of time talking about getting drunk and not beating drunk there's different modifiers to being drunk that we're interested that we're interested in hearing about specifically cross-fated and also in the shower yeah I think that we we struggled between getting drunk and being drunk I don't know about in the shower in the shower is a two to me I don't a little buzz in the shower is good what I mean is I don't know about that because I don't know if I is that something that you're familiar with you never get you never have a beer shower I have a shower beer for sure but I've not it's like I'm starting to drink a beer I'm not like feeling drunk while being in the shower okay I think this okay this happened to me a lot because this is something I experienced a lot in college because in college I smoke a lot of cigars and I'm a little bit grim or I was shy now like I can you imagine a worst person I want you all to close your eyes in picture college aged me no beer full security brim mall yeah smoking the cheapest cigars I could fucking get my hands on and so what I would what would happen to me is I would say okay I need to shower something like pillow doesn't smell like cigar when I wake up in the morning so I would shower and I would already be a little drunk and boy that hot water in that steam you get to break it up right now right across the shower so I would say it's a two because sometimes that can be a little dangerous no but I just what I just explained could be really tough crossfated is a two for all the obvious reasons I sure okay that wasn't the end of the message I would also deposit that being with family could be a two for secret drunk and then also I just there's different types of people you could be around while drunk including dogs maybe for a sequel to the drunk episode about the actual state of being drunk and not just how many 32 like beers you would would it take to get you drunk all right love you so thanks for that can you imagine somebody listening to what we say and thinking I have some thoughts on this and I'd like to put I'd like to organize that you lost me it can you imagine someone listening to what we say yeah sure I want to say thank you to K to public transportation love you a girl has as many brothers as sisters but each brother has only half as many brothers as sisters how many brothers and sisters are there in the family that one's hot that one is you're too easy they said I might have even said it wrong