Hello again ladies and gentlemen welcome to another episode of Jesse Wilder's Guide to Life. I'm Jesse that's Wilder and this is another episode of Jesse Wilder's Guide to Life. I'm Jesse that's Wilder. You did that already.
Oh. Okay. I'm a bit of a hot streak with these topics because they are all the ones I've been asking for for a while. Yeah we've kind of just given into our darkest temptations at this point.
You must. Before we went on our little summer hiatus one of our many our famed hiatuses. We are known for our long tiatuses. I mean you guys don't even know our first podcast it took us like six years to put out 35 episodes.
30 episodes we didn't hit 35. Wait a minute. Happy 30th to us. Fuck was that last one?
Pope. Pope was 30. This is 31. Wow.
It's almost our golden episode right. How old are we 32? Yeah. Yeesh.
Uh we usually we used to care about what the episodes were and we were like no that doesn't make sense what do we even talk about and as you can see with just life as a wizard and pope and fucking it's just nothing now it's just whatever dumb thing comes to our head the moment before we start recording essentially. Mm-hmm. This one makes more sense than some of the ones I just listed. And the dumbest part about this one is that it is like technically probably a good topic but like people will care about it they're not us right so okay so this is how we should start so so today's episode if you couldn't read the title is a competition reality show which is obviously different than regular reality show like big brother.
Yeah no big brother no road rules. Although road rules and big brother might have competitive aspects actually I think they never seen any of them. I don't watch a lot of these. Okay so all right so it's not we're not talking Jersey Shore right I can say with certainty that Jersey Shore does not have competitive aspects.
If you want to talk Jersey Shore we'll talk about Jersey Shore all day I can name all the characters okay we got the we got the the the snooky one. Yes who else you got. We got the situation. Yep.
Is that correct. I think so. You know as much as I do so who might have said no. We got Benny there got to be a Benny on that show right.
There's Big Benny and Little Benny. Yeah there's the Jets. There's yes it's actually the Jets so in Jersey Shore it's Benny's end of the Jets because it's Little Benny's end of the Jets. Benny's end of the Jets sounds like some sort of restaurant you'd see on the side of the highway that has a sign that was written incorrectly.
Yeah and it's hand-painted and they haven't freshened up in a couple years. Yeah so those are all the Jersey Shore folks so what type of competitive reality shows do you dabble in because we can kind of cover our bases here a little bit. So I used to be a big fan of last comic standing. Okay.
That was one that I enjoyed quite a bit. I have never seen American Idol in my life. Okay. My current flavor is Top Chef.
Big Top Chef fan. Remind me because I've only watched a little bit of Top Chef. So that's different than Iron Chef. Is Top Chef?
Correct. It's not nearly as I mean Top Chef is pretty wacky but Iron Chef it's not like a fucking battle or anything. But so Iron Chef each so this is something we'll talk about obviously but Iron Chef each episode is sort of uncontained. Sort of yes all contained.
Is Top Chef the same or Top Chef like a season long? It's a season and every episode someone gets eliminated. Okay got it. And I also watched Netflix's version of Top Chef which was called the final table.
Bad name huh? Yeah that sounds like you're going to hell. Yeah. That sounds like the final that's like a last supper.
What's your what's your steeze? So I don't watch a ton now. I would say that if I'm on any as the same as you chopped I watched a lot of chopped is probably what I got the most miles on. Yeah.
Chops very much kind of like a season of Top Chef all compressed to one episode. Yeah. And I do love chopped it hits a lot of beats over and over again that I really enjoy. Before that I like in high school I guess I did dabble in some of the VH1 dating ones.
I did. Oh interesting. I was a big I love New York guy. I cannot explain it.
It's one of the flavor of love guy. I wasn't which is funny because it's a spinoff. And I rock of love was one of those right. I watched like half of Rocket Love and was like this guy sucks.
I love New York it was just a captivating personality and then I did. Who I don't know anything about that show. I did get a little funky with a shot at Love with Tequila Tequila. I got a little drunk on Tequila.
Correct. And then before that. But graph before this episode was like yeah I don't really watch anything. But he's rolling up here with like I watch Laver of Love.
I watched Tequila Tequila. When you because when you said this is so dumb when you said reality competition show or competition reality show whatever the fuck for some reason in my head I was like survivor. Amazing race. And I was like I haven't seen the bachelor very very popular.
I don't know if you know about the best of people are wild. Oh my god they fucking love it. I have seen I did watch my mom loved like the first like three seasons of American Idol. So I saw like some of that.
Everybody's mom loved the first three seasons of American Idol. It's kind of charming. Yeah. You're like who's this who's this rogue.
Right. Yeah. And now it's like oh boy this sucks. Yeah.
But I also haven't watched any of the new I think there's a lot of new like the circle and love Island and like a lot of people. There was one that dropped during early quarantine Tiger King days that was a Netflix show where they all had to be in a house and day each other. It was called it was called something. What wasn't one of them.
So I think one of them was like started filming as quarantine happened and they were like on an island so they didn't know because you're not allowed to like look at your phone or anything like that. No, no that was like that was like the it was a German show or something. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I think it's just text me love is blind which is not the show that we watched and so she's just naming a show that she's seen too hot to handle. She followed it up. That's her back real quick to mind her own damn business or get a mic. Yeah, get a mic or mind your own business is correct.
When we ever get merch which we never will but when we ever do grab a mic or mind your own business is going to be our sick ass bumper sticker on some underwear. So show these. Yes. So we have a decent a decent.
So in other words we heard of them of experiences quick shout out to friend of the show Jacob Ruben who was on a competition reality show. I won't say anything else because he doesn't love to talk about it but he was. Well, he was the only likable person on the show. Yeah, that's correct.
Yeah, he won if you want to count victories how they count him he maybe didn't get first place but if you want to count him how I count him which is you're a good person and I like yeah, I didn't want to fucking ring your neck the whole time. Yeah, he ranked on that one. He fucking killed it guys a wagon. Okay.
To a goose check out his pod. Oh check out the pod. We have the end of the episode. We have the episode listening to Ruben's podcast on ours big shout out to Fargo or wherever our listeners are.
Thanks to that Todd. No, okay. So category host is a category right they basically need a host. Yeah, host is a category.
I'll hit you with a very quiet list since we're right here. The host of top chef Pomma Lakshmi. Oh, Pomma. Yeah, that's a great one.
Why don't you give me a harder name to spell right off the top. Yeah, you got it. You got it. Pomma.
Yeah, she's tight. So you want to get tight. I like here's what's tight about Pomma as a host because I do think a host should be good looking. I don't need the two of us hosting a reality competition show.
Right, right, right. So yeah, maybe very not quite let hosts you could put us in there. But what I was going to say is what's dope about Pomma is that really fucking knows her shit. Like she's a legit food expert.
I feel like you can't just get some useless ass good looking person. They got to know what they say. Well, I think that the not that he doesn't know anything, but I think that the step down from that is the host of chopped, right? You like Ted Allen?
Yeah, the very not quite let us toast. I can think of what why is it so boring. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine to me.
God, Ted. Okay, so it's like a human glass of milk. Here's my here's my argument for Ted because Ted is not a one because a baseline a two is his Ted. I know man.
He's got two first names. I know. But my problem is that the worst host is not someone who's boring. It's someone who tries to make the show about them.
So I'll give you like what's his name of most floors lava and also that barbecue show. Yeah, like I don't want I don't want I don't need you personality. Is that his name? Ew bro, Rutledge is I don't know do you just in terms of names.
That's a very not quite lit. Nick Cannon is a host of a show and I've only ever seen clips of it. And a lot of that show is them cutting backstage to Nick Cannon reacting to stuff that's happening on stage. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck about Nick Cannon or what Nick Cannon reacting to things.
How about a little bit of sympathy coming from the host? So because when Padma tosses people off the show, you could tell she feels bad. Okay, so that's a three. I kind of only yeah, I guess it's a three.
Yeah, fine sympathy. I do like that also while we're on that subject. I do like a catchphrase for people getting eliminated. So she says pack your knives and go, which is very harsh.
Wow. So sympathy, but also tells them to fucking kick the fucking rock. She looks like she's what going to cry, which I think a catchphrase is a two because as we've talked about, I think before, any type of catchphrase is a two to me. I love a catchphrase.
Yeah, but what if it sucks to I have another thing about these shows. I don't necessarily believe that the host and the judges have to be different because there's always like a panel of judges and a host who more or less does nothing like Ted doesn't do anything. Ted, he just announces what the people made Ted fucking suck. That does nothing.
It's a fact that does nothing. He doesn't bring the food over to the heat. No, Ted, I've got to put some respect on Ted's name. Ted does wrangle the conversation a little bit between the dorky chef judges.
Yeah, her own son says he facilitates that pretty well. Ted sucks. I'll give you one thing about Ted. I do like when Ted shows up on another ship like a B.
Bobby. And he's like not as clean shaven and he's wearing like a cool band t-shirt. I do like cool Ted. Who will Ted?
But like bro, why is it cool Ted on the fucking show that he hosts? Right, it's a fact. But you know, whatever. I don't.
You want to do what I host and judge a separate though. Host and judges, I do like separate because I feel like then the, I don't know because the judges have to rotate otherwise the show gets boring. I'll give you a very quite lit host to me. I really like Alton Brown when he's not hosting his own shows.
Okay. So his shows are stupid and they're like, Alton's the definition of a two. No way. As the.
Too much. You ever see, you ever see chopped Alton's challenge? Yes, but I'm saying Alton only on his own shows sucks. No, but this is an example of when he sucks, not on his own show.
Chopped Alton's challenge. He picks the basket and it's like, Charantula, larva and broken glass or whatever the fuck Alton wants him to cook with. He's a little mischief maker. He is.
I've missed you if I'll give it to you. Yeah, I've missed you. I think that a judge can be a commentator and I like it because Alton Brown is so fucking fresh on Iron Chef. That is where he shines because you do need him to be like, he just knows everything that there is to know.
Yeah, they get like an orange and some pink Himalayan salt and he's like, oh, he's making a rock and sauce and you're like, what? How did you know that? He's too. He does.
Yeah. Alton a little bit of a psychic. Yes. Should the host have powers?
Stop trying to give everyone powers. Why wouldn't I? Okay. How about the competition itself as a category?
Like what are we competing for? Yeah, because we're only talking about food and we got it. We got stick it out of here. Yeah.
I don't care for the for the dating ones. That was the most popular ones on TV. Yeah, I don't really get how the bachelor and bachelor at work. Like why?
I know the answer is because it's a reality show, but why does everyone love these people so much if they do they know them before they get to the mansion or whatever? So this is what I know they don't. I don't think and this is what I don't. And they want to marry them?
Yeah, I think that the trashy VH1 love shows were the peak of those of reality dating because there was no, there's no, I feel like the bachelor and bachelor at work supposed to be like very impressed with these people. Like they are so amazing that they would, you know, 15 people or however many fucking people would fight for their hand in marriage or whatever. I like that flavor flavor. It's like this guy's a mess and these people are insane.
It's great. I guess. Yeah. You look up, you look up to someone your whole life like flavor.
Right. Okay. So dating, I do think, I do think dating is a one. If we're talking about so boring, it's crazy boring.
I'll give you another one, I think. Maybe it's a two talent. I just don't care about. Okay, but bro, right.
Are you telling me that once in a while a fucking Facebook clip of America's Got Talent doesn't float up and make you fucking sob? I know it is always a Facebook clip. Here's a woman who is completely deaf, but she has the most beautiful singing voice alive. Like are you kidding me?
Yeah, I'll give talent. I'll give talent. It has to be a two. And also sometimes they just do wacky shit and it's like, okay, I do want to see this guy juggle a bunch of monkeys.
Like an hour long, NBA halftime show. It really is. It's like they have the lady who shoots the bow with her feet for some reason. They have like the guy who stands on 50 chairs at once and then juggles.
I want to give it a one, but I feel like I want to give it a one. The Mon, America's Next Top Model. Models. Damn, dude.
Good looking people. It's a fucking boring. No, I think first of all, I think it's a good person for that show. Or is it just about how good you are at modeling?
I think you're talking to the wrong person about America's Next Top Model, but I think that counts as talent because it's not just being hot to talent. How, no, stupid. You're being, you're being real disrespectful to the modeling community, me and my people. No.
You have to like, I don't know, you have to like serve the looks and you have to do the walks. There's some amount of like teaching being done. So I think it counts as a talent one. I don't disagree.
You're the one that put talent as a two. Is that the same thing? What about pageants? Those are.
Will you watch a pageant shows, bro? Yeah, Miss America, et cetera. Oh, by the way, happy, happy April 25th, the other day, guys. Perfect date speaking of Miss America.
Oh, classic, classic. I want to back up to host an unrelated celebrity is a two, I think. Like I liked it. Like Padma is like a celebrity, but also she makes sense.
It's like, even Nick Cannon makes sense. But I feel like sometimes it's like, oh, and here's your host, like your favorite show, which is not a reality show per se, but ridiculousness. It's like, oh, yeah, this guy is a. Not to call that my favorite show.
They have a celebrity panelist on every episode. Right. But my point being like, that's he's unrelated to that. He's not a comedian or a host.
I do like that. That's a two. We got another category here. Prize.
Oh, prize. I mean, like money has to be very quite late, right? Yeah, money's going down. Actually, well, yeah.
Okay. I'm going to make sure more money, right? Do you do you fuck it all with like, you don't survive or great escape or never seen a survivor, never seen a I'm a celebrity get me out of here? You know what was a good one during quarantine?
This also dropped. It was it was called a wake and it was a show where people had to stay awake for 24 hours and then do challenges. Okay. I don't think the game show though.
Yeah. No, but I like okay. So I think a three is physical challenges. Like you know what we haven't talked about American Ninja Warrior.
Dude, you ever look at that? Is that a game show though or a dude? It's reality. It's like they're competing for sure.
It's not any different to chop. If you're counting chop, then it's got to be. American Ninja Warrior is so fucking tight. But can they just fucking switch up the course once in a while?
You've seen one episode. You've seen them all. And those hoes suck. Yeah, I hate it.
Those fucking dorks. They're so generic. But yeah, so there was a I didn't watch Road Rules or Real World and I couldn't tell you anything about them. But I did watch Real World vs Road Rules Challenge.
What the hell is that? Which is so fucking hard to say. The mouth feel of it is, can you say it real quick right now? No, I can't.
But that is very not quite late. Title is title a category. No, it can't be. I've got a category for you.
Contestants. And I've got a very quick for you as well. Children. No, I do love the junior version of these two.
Master Chef Junior. You know, America's next top model Junior. It's tough because if you put them in anything else I feel like it gets so tough. But I guess not.
I'll watch. I'm always going to watch the Junior. The master bacon. All right.
That's fair. What do we think about like a classic mean judge? Like the Gordon Ramsay or the Simon Cowell. So do we want to judge?
I don't really want to make judges a thing. I guess we can. That's pretty big part of these. Yeah.
I don't mean judge. I hate it. I think it's so played out. I think Simon did it and everyone's like we need a mean judge.
I think it sucks. I'm with you. Okay. Mean judge is a one.
Fuck that. Fuck the mean judge. I like when a judge that has and this is maybe a controversial take. Although I want my host to be related to the category of what's going on.
I love when the judges aren't. Like I feel like a lot of times on the baking shows they're like we have this person who owns a bakery and this person who won Top Chef two years ago as a pastry chef and then like Abby from Broad City's here. I think it's a two. I think that means we're going to qualify judges as a two.
That works. Well like I mean like the bachelor doesn't have judges. You know. Oh yes.
What if they did. And like I think a lot of the physical challenge ones like they don't have judges. You just when you lose you fucking lose. Right.
I don't know where to put this. Maybe it's in competition but I love I love one with the opportunity to backstab. Oh you like the trail. Yeah bro.
Did you ever watch the mold? No. Oh baby. Oh you love the mold.
So fucking sick. If you bring up the mold to anyone who watched it. I don't even know what it was about. So they were doing challenges to add money to a pot basically.
It's like okay you're everyone's working together but at the end. Only one of you can win it. Like whoever racks up the best score or whatever the fuck. I don't know.
But the deal was that some of them were moles. Some of them were fakers. Yeah I do love that type of trail is very. Yeah.
It's like that is like the dark night game that I feel like a lot of game shows have to. Oh yeah. Like you're talking about the theories. Yeah.
RIP to that dude. Yeah big time big time big time. Yeah so betrayal is huge. And then for contestants a betrayer has got to be a very quiet.
Right. Somebody who like. I do love the sweetie poo. You know when there's a contestant that's just a little fucking delight.
Oh you like a little darling. I love a little darling. And I do love a villain. You got to have someone to hate.
I'll tell you what I don't like. It's a one for me. Cry baby. I don't you don't you don't you can cry.
That's fine. But I don't want somebody who winds the whole time. Yeah. Yeah.
I have a contestant that specific only to chopped but I think it's still relevant. Go on. Somebody who tries to use the ice cream machine is very not quite. It's never worked once.
You must stop. You have to stop trying to use the ice cream machine. It's there is a trick. The same goes for Top Chef and literally every time someone tries to make risotto.
They get eliminated for us. Yes. And it's great because they there's not even an intrigue to it if you've seen more than one episode. And even the judges are like, oh, you know, you know, that's a good thing.
Ice cream machine, 35 minutes. 35 minutes. Why is it even in this kitchen? I do like something that requires them to have to run.
I mean, I would say that's a physical challenge, huh? Yeah. Physical. For example, on Top Chef, they do make them go fucking sprinting through Whole Foods every season.
And I cannot get enough of it. It is so funny to be to watch them just go crashing into shit with their stupid carts. Oh, I like when the contestants are are the celebrities. I feel like that again that happens most in food competitions, but like.
Yeah, celebrity. It's yeah. It's fun. Bro, they're always the fucking wackest celebrities.
It's always like Wayne Brady. It's just Wayne Brady every time. It's like, yeah, you're right. They never book a song.
They gave me like some good shit. Who's your dream? Who's your dream if you turn on an episode of Guy's Grocery Games? Who's the number one you'd be most excited to hear or to see?
Don't think about a issue from the hip right now. Who would you be psyched to see? Ready to go? The rock.
Yeah, dude. Great answer. I would like to see him on Guy's Grocery Games. I would love to see like a really well established like maybe British theater act like.
Dude, I was thinking Adam Driver would be very funny. Adam Driver. Yeah, America's funny man. Adam Driver.
I would also love to see someone who's very serious. Like Liam Neeson would be a funny contestant. I would like to see maybe like a scientist. Okay.
Yeah, that would be good if it's on the mask singer. They were like, is it JLo? And they were like, no. And then they pulled off the mask and they were like, it's Pulitzer Prize winning author Matthew Desmond.
You're like, what? I love about the mask singer that people constantly think every contestant is weird. Al, have you seen this? No, but that's not surprising.
Sharing and retweeting things that are like, oh, it's definitely weird. Al, it's so boring. It's not. Weird Al, a very quite like contestant, I would say.
Okay, yeah, I'll give you that. Price Love is a, it seems like we think Love is a one, right? As far as I go. What about?
I think Jeff Prizes, I think Sucks Ass is an article about you in Food and Wine magazine. Article? Ugh, article. That is unbelievably wack.
That is not the only prize. It's like, there's like a pretty big, I think it's like $250,000. Okay, okay. So get like a spot at like this food festival, but also with an, like, and a story in Food and Wine, which is useless.
Yeah, like, okay, cool. Great. Thank you so much. So there was an episode of Top Chef where the Sesame Street characters were judges.
Okay. And it was very funny because they had to like talk about them like they were real, like it had a talking head and someone was like, well, I know Cookie Monster loves chocolate chip cookies. I'm trying to make that for them. I'm going to say specifically Cookie Monster?
This Cookie Monster, yeah. Yeah. A good judge to be sure. Ooh, I'll tell you what I hate in a competition.
It's a big one. It happens a lot in the food ones, but it happens in all of them I think is like very obvious product placement. Like on fucking Shark Tank where they're like, oh, let me just bump you that new information with my T-Mobile device. Right, exactly.
And it's like, oh, okay. Everyone, everyone without bumping shit to each other on their phones. What happened on bumping? Yeah, you got it.
Also, we haven't talked about Shark Tank and that does count and that you love getting in the Shark Tank. I have dabbled in the tank. Is it a re-op? Is it a competition?
I mean, they're... I guess they're not competing with one another as much as they are competing for the favor of the Sharks. But as far as judges go, you can put Kevin O'Leary at a number one, murderer Kevin O'Leary. You guys know about Kevin O'Leary as a murderer.
Oh, what a great time to talk about this. He killed some people on his boat. He's the Matthew Broderick of financial investors. Matthew Broderick also a murderer.
I got tons of information about murderers. Everyone just at me. Yeah, for sure at Wilder, vis-a-vis your murderer inquiries. Yeah.
If you're wondering if a famous person is also a murderer, you know who to ask. Okay, but I do hear some things about Shark Tank that I think we need to consider. Well, the prize is not just money. I guess it kind of counts as opportunity, but like...
It's money. Yeah, I guess it's money. Well, you get the opportunity of working with the Sharks. They always say that shit.
I love to work with Mark because I love my whole shit in the... I don't need on Shark Tank or the fucking catch-ups. Let's check in with cousins. My long-term sister is doing.
Yeah. Stale doing well. I think catch-ups is a big one. That's in competition because I think the other shows do that too.
Have you ever seen the ones where they check in? Barbara has some creepy fucking retreat that she makes people go on? She'll be like, I invite all of my favorite entrepreneurs to my cabin for a weekend. It seems like they're all very different people who don't want to be anywhere near each other.
Trap in Barbara's cabin. Cool, cool, cool, cool. I'm pretty sure she's eating them. So, a judge is that get to promote their own stuff as a one.
I hate that. Sure. But something about Shark Tank that I love is the judges competing against one another. Yeah, that is...
I do like it when the judges have to compete. But it sucks on that show when you do have a guest judge like Ashton or you have the guy who's the fucking GoPro guy and everything he says has to be like, well, because when I invest in a GoPro. Oh my god. Not...
Literally? Nothing worse. Why did you give you another thing? I don't know what category this is.
Maybe just tropes. I think tropes got anyone. Okay. Obvious formulaic editing.
But if it goes to a commercial and someone's like, I really don't think I'm going to pull it off. And then it's like, we all know what's going to happen. This is not exactly that. And I think it's a two because it works so fucking well.
The way that those snakes at Food Network cut chopped is so that there is a commercial break before the final reveal. Oh, it's not happening. And there is no fucking commercial break between the end of the episode and the start of the next episode. It is insane.
And also, I just feel like those the Food Network show specifically are just such an odd thing. They just seem like such a hoax every time. Because like, you take B-Bobby Flay. And it's supposed to be a blind taste test.
Yet, gang, if one of the dishes has a bunch of like, piquillo peppers and Southwest flavors. Yes. I think we can all take a swing at who made that one. Someone, someone, there's two dishes.
One is a lot. There's a traditional falafel and he has one deep fried with Southwest chilies. Mmm. But B-Bobby Flay has one that I think is a good, it's not necessarily a trope, but a live audience is kind of nice.
I do like a live audience. I say it's a little much though because I don't like that you have to laugh at things that aren't funny. Right. It's true.
But I do like, like in the competition ones, in the talent ones rather, I mean that would be weird if it was an empty room, right? Like you have to have- It's a little very much, very much. Is that true? I'm not here to make friends can get tossed.
Oh, as contestants go. I would love it if someone was there to make friends. I know. That's a really long show.
Because I'm really lonely. And I would love it if, I would love a friend. I sort of like when a reality show has a complicated structure. What do you think about that?
Explain yourself. Well, if you told me, so here's the deal, right? If you told me this is a dating show. If you explained a dating show and it was essentially a bachelor.
You know, I'm not here to tell you this one. Man, there's 20 women and they all want a man. I would be like, that's, I'll never consider watching that. Never once.
But when I hear about this like Netflix show where none of them get to see each other and they're all these rooms to text one another. I am at the very least intrigued. It is so convoluted. It doesn't make any sense.
Same goes for the mole. The mole is not something you could easily explain. But I like it. It's like the cooking shows.
Like how many fucking cooking shows can we get? Guys, grocery games is complicated. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it's 2-Mongy in a supermarket.
Right. So that's good to me. It needs to be a little convoluted. Yeah, it's true.
Yeah, it's true. I got a million shows for no reason. Alright bro, I've got a game. It's called Name that Show.
Are you ready? I'm going to tell you the description of this show and you're going to tell me what it is. Hardcore survivalists seek to stay alive in extreme locations around the world. This is not Survivor.
It's not Survivor? No, it's on the History Channel, baby. Is it Naked and Afraid? It's called Alone.
Damn it. Dude, that sounds exactly like Survivor. In this light-hearted and strategic competition series, the players must choose whether to be themselves or other people all while chasing a cash prize. What?
I hear people talk about the Circle. It's the Circle. Yes, I'm not heard a word about this. Unbelievable.
I hear people rave about the circle and I have no idea what any of it is about, but I'm glad that I got it. I was prepared to guess the circle like six more times. A aspiring artist's computer bring their wildest beasts to life. Is it?
That might be like a Frankenstein show. Fuck. There's that one where they do makeup. They do look.
Yeah, I know what you mean. It's not that one. This one's Creature Shop. And that concludes this game because I think I'm out of steam.
Good. Me too. Team, there's a lot of shows. Wait, hold on.
This is, I guess, the IMDb description? It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine saying REM's Michael Steibt. And it's a proclamation that must resonate with the people in this program. That's because they're all preparing for Blink, which is the name of the show, whether it's caused by a natural disaster, a financial collapse, or a nuclear winter.
Is it Doomsday Preppers? Doomsday Preppers. Out of it. It's not a competition show.
That starts off with a fucking REM quote. Yeah, you like that? I do not. You know DadLab has gotten in that.
Oh, I just, god damn, I just thought of a fucking reality show. History Channel got some crazy ones. One's called Fortune Fire, where they make knives. It's pretty tight, but not really for me.
There is this show called Knife or Death, where it's hosted, first of all, hosted by the wrestler Goldberg, which is so tight. And brother, I must send you some knife or death clips. It is just, here's an obstacle course. Choose your knife.
Get through the obstacle course. And the obstacle course is so silly. It's like, this is a fish hanging from a rope. You must cut the fish in half.
You know what's weird, but I do like it kind of when the contestants come on, like build as a celebrity, but they're only the source of celebrities that they were on a different competition reality show. Exactly. I like that. I do like it when contestants come back from previous sneezes.
Let's, we're going to unlock our brains a little bit. Yeah, we're going to design our own. Well, I mean, design our own to an extent. I'm still going to put powers in a jail cell where it belongs, because you keep trying to break that out.
Like, let me throw something at you. Where do you put a competition where you compete for a new family? Is that a one? Well, it depends on how shitty your family is.
It's a two, a new family. As a product. A new family is a two. What about new body part?
So like, America's Next Top, Bionic Arm Owner. Must also be a two. America's Next Top, Winter Soldier. Where do we put that?
I think that we could agree that like, most dangerous game, like what if you, the prizes that you escape with your life? That's good. You think hunting each other would be a good game show. No, I think it's bad.
I'm advocating that it's bad. Yeah, I don't want anyone to die. Or do I? I mean, there's that, what's that movie where the death race?
The prisoners are all in a race, and the last one gets to escape, or whatever gets to get free, and everyone watches it? Yeah. That's kind of like a reality show. I would say that's bad.
If that was in real life, that would be bad. I've got an article here. 25 Bonkers Reality Competition Shows You For God Existed. Hit me.
For example, do you know about Boy Meets Boy? Absolutely not. Had a gay bachelor, except half the contestants, were straight pretending to be gay to win money. Why?
You mean? Very mean. Oh, that's bad. Where do we put that?
Boy Meets Boy is a big one. Did you know that the CW made a Hunger Games style competition show? I did know about that yesterday. What do we think about contestants getting eliminated to the sound of cannons and showing their face in the sky?
I do like that. Is that a trope? Yeah, I don't know if it's a trope. I think it is.
I think Hunger Games is a hold on. The Hunger Games is a reality competition show. Yeah, for sure. Is that a two?
I mean, it's not that different than what I just said, like a fight, like hunting each other. Yeah. The other thing about Hunger Games, and this is another incontestance that I think is a one, non-optional. I think that it's bad if you're not.
Non-optional is, yeah. Yeah, you have to be able to choose to be on the show. I want to play a game. You got to play a game.
I want to play a game. Yeah, my game wasn't very good. It wasn't. This one's not going to be good either.
Sweet. Where it's prices right, rules. I'm going to ask you to guess some numbers. Please.
First one. How many episodes of Survivor have there been? 400. 596.