Reflection - Lunch Time with Demons

Season Two (Ep 24) This episode is mostly a solo reflection from Bella, with Ryan offering quiet support throughout. She opens up about a brutal week that brought several old wounds to the surface: perfectionism, fear of being "too strange," money/worth issues, and a deep ache around being "burned out" while feeling unappreciated. She shares a heartfelt fan message as a jumping-off point to talk about her sense of purpose (being a "mirror" who reflects people's potential back to them), then gets into the painful contrast between that purpose and 20 years of rejection in her creative work, especially her ergodic literature project NUMoS. A family conflict that spilled into a conversation with her young daughter adds another layer of rawness to the episode. The second half shifts toward how she's been processing all this through mind-body-spirit practice and small "divine" synchronicities crying in a sun shower, a gifted tarot deck and perfume from Ryan, and book covers messages that felt like signs from Lucifer, Leviathan, and Belial. She uses these to illustrate her "let them / underestimate me" mantra about not needing external validation, recommends a few poetry collections (by Megan Fernandez, Jesse K. Bear, Haley Lou Richardson, and R.H. Sinn) as resources for working through similar wounds, and closes with an emotional thank-you to listeners and Ryan for supporting the show and giving her space to be unapologetically herself. She previews next week's episode, which will focus on King Belial. Abella's Linktree Ryan's LinkTree