Relationship Compare and Despair episode artwork

EPISODE · Dec 1, 2025 · 30 MIN

Relationship Compare and Despair

from Highly Sensitive, Happily Married · host Hannah Brooks

203  "That couple is just so in love…so much more than we are!" "How come we can’t communicate like that?"  "What's wrong with our relationship that my husband doesn't look at me like that?" Ever sounded like that in your head? Ever compared your relationship, or your spouse, to other couples or spouses…and then felt even more unhappy about your relationship? Clients ask me about this often. It's so common that there is a term for it: Compare and despair. Today, we are calling it Relationship Compare and Despair, since we will focus in how it affects our love lives. It’s a wired-in thing our brains just do as humans, especially if we aren't totally happy in our relationships. But it hurts and disempowers us, and makes our relationships worse.So how do you stop? In this episode I will tell you, and help you turn this habit into something that, instead of making things harder, can help your marriage get better.You will also learn what is driving the despair that often accompanies comparing, as well as the most important shift to make to put an end to most of the pain or upset you feel in your relationship, so you can effectively shape your relationship into one that feels lighter, more loving, and connected and all the things you want…You can stop letting comparison undermine your love and connection. You can use it instead as an opportunity to make your marriage into the very best one it can be. Listen in to learn how. SHOW NOTES:Join Hannah in her special end-of-year 3 session program,  A BETTER MARRIAGE IN 1 MONTH: A Mini 1:1 Marriage Coaching Program For HS Women To Start to FEEL the power you have to change the whole emotional culture of your marriage into one of more safety and  warmth, without dragging your partner into therapy.  Click here to learn more.  Take The 2 Minute Free Quiz: What's Your Best Next Step To Improve Your Marriage? Find out the most important place for you to focus on to make your unique marriage more loving and connected a sensitive woman.ENJOYING THE SHOW? Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) 

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203 "That couple is just so in love…so much more than we are!" "How come we can’t communicate like that?" "What's wrong with our relationship that my husband doesn't look at me like that?" Ever sounded like that in your head? Ever compared your relationship, or your spouse, to other couples or spouses…and then felt even more unhappy about your relationship? Clients ask me about this often. It's so common that there is a term for it: Compare and despair. Today, we are c...

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This episode was published on December 1, 2025.

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