Relationships Series Talk 2: Intimacy with Self

Kōgetsu talks about Intimacy with the Self. We live in a world that constantly tells us we need to improve—to become better, more optimized versions of ourselves. Checklists, standards, performance reviews: we might even find ourselves trying to optimize our meditation practice. What would it mean to be truly intimate with ourselves—especially with our fear, shame, envy, anger, and the parts we’d rather not highlight—without letting the parts define us or control how we act? Buddhist teaching offers a different view. What we call the self is not a fixed thing, but a changing process built moment-by-moment from sensation, story, and habit. Much of our suffering comes not from having thoughts and feelings, but from becoming fused with them. We discuss how a meditation practice helps us stay close to our experience without being overtaken by it. How we can meet life’s ups and downs with greater steadiness, vulnerability, and presence, without believing every story the mind tells? Intimacy with Self Young Urban Zen