S. 2, Ep. 7: Decentering Men — A Black Woman’s Perspective of the Phenomenon in 2026

🎧 Listener discretion is advised.You know the gist, but we’ll say it again: Welcome to the table — a safe, sexy, and unapologetic space where Black joy, creativity, community, and pleasure are always on the menu. The Unfriendly Black Hotties are here to educate & stimulate — and we love using our words to amplify Black voices through bold, unfiltered conversations.Here at the lunch table, we keep it flavorful, colorful, and always authentic, diving deep into:* Erotica* Kink* Love & Intimacy* RomanceWe’re not here to compromise our truths — we’re here to get off. So, turn us on. Lunch is served!👩🏾‍🦱 This Episode’s Hotties* Regina Starr* Doc Dubs* Mars * Wips* Trisha Cheeks🚨 Ep. 7: Decentering Men — A Black Woman’s Perspective of the Phenomenon in 2026And for today’s episode, we’re getting into to the topic of decentering men, and for that matter, de-centering all things that take away from one’s personal growth. Definitions, ofc, from Merriam-Webster:* decenter — decentered; decentering; decenters* transitive verb: to cause to lose or shift from an established center or focus* especially: to disconnect from practical or theoretical assumptions of origin, priority, or essence* expurgate — expurgated; expurgating* verb: transitive verb: to cleanse of something morally harmful, offensive, or erroneous* especially : to expunge objectionable parts from before publication or presentation* an expurgated edition of the lettersCultural aspects of men-centered content* Pick-me’s and their ability to destroy communities and life forces* When folks say they want to “Decentralize men,” what is their focus?Black women and decentralizing men* Male-centered Black women — is it bad or good?* Are Black women excluded from “Decentralizing men” because of stereotypes that have purported to be strong, independent* The HOTEP woman (India Arie example Doc created)* The strong, Black woman trope — is that a stereotype that’s been to our detriment?* Black women: “we don’t need a man, etc.,” too masculine, too independent to do so. So we never get to live our softness.Decentering (or decentralizing) men is a personal practice where a woman stops making men, male approval, or romantic relationships the core focus, purpose, and validation source of her life. Instead of treating a partner or male gaze as the sun in her personal solar system, she places herself, her own goals, and her peace at the center.Core Principles* Self-Prioritization: Treating your own goals, comfort, boundaries, and emotional well-being as equal to or more important than keeping a man comfortable.* Releasing Validation: Letting go of the idea that a romantic relationship or male attraction is required to feel complete, successful, or happy.* Valuing Female Perspectives: Actively seeking out and honoring the stories, media, and wisdom of women to balance a culture that treats the male perspective as the default.What It Looks Like in Daily Life* Decision Making: Making choices about your career, schedule, and lifestyle based on what brings you joy rather than whether it pleases or attracts men.* Emotional Energy: Refusing to act as an unpaid therapist or emotional caretaker for men who expect coddling.* Social Focus: Investing deeply in platonic friendships, family ties, and community care rather than viewing friendships as secondary to romance.🎶 Ep. 7 Playlist 📣 Be Good & Follow UsLike what you’ve heard on this and previous episodes? Follow and subscribe to “Lunch at the Unfriendly Black Hotties Table” podcast below:* Substack* Instagram* Bluesky* YouTube* Spotify* Apple Podcasts#health #intimacy #relationships #love #couples #BlackWomen #podcast #podcasts #kinks #audios #audioerotica #parasocialrelationships #onlineculture #stanculture #fandom #fanatics #celebrity #fame #community #friendship #foundfamily This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wbqc.substack.com