All right, Mom. Put down that coffee and grab a wine. Get ready for another episode of Nursing and Cursing, a parenting podcast that covers more shit than your baby's full diaper. I'm Kate. I'm a stay-at-home mom of three in Brooklyn, New York. I'm trying to figure out whether I should go back to work, have another baby, or spend the rest of my life waiting for my fresh direct order. Hey, I'm Christine, a video editor and a mom of two living in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Allie here, podcasting up in the mountains in South Kona, Hawaii. I work as a real estate agent and a mom of two boys. Hey, I'm Molly. I'm a teacher raising two kids in St. Augustine, Florida. And I'm Sarah, a new mom to one sweet babe living in Brooklyn, New York. Between five busy households, it's a miracle we make it on the mic at all.
Trust me, we need this as much as you do. Hey, guys. Welcome to Nursing and Cursing. Hi, babe. What's so funny? Oh, gosh. I just love to be with you. So many things. I love to be with you. I love to be with you. So, guys, on Nursing and Cursing this week, we are talking about time savers. What tricks of the trade are we using to save time in our real lives with kids? Okay. Whatever. So.
Okay. So I'm going to start with you because I want to know, do you feel now that you have a baby that you are running short on time or are you not there yet in all of that? Oh, yeah. Sarah, do you have just tons of time? Do you feel like you just never had more time? I've got time coming out of all my extra holes. No, I definitely feel pressed for time. And in the morning, I think when I'm trying to get ready for work, it's just intensified how little time I have, especially now that Frances is moving and I can't just put her in rock and play and put her in the...
I can just watch her while I take a shower. But now she wants to get all up in the shower with me. And then she falls and hits her head. And then we're crying. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. So, okay. So you're feeling it. You're right along with us. So, yeah. I noticed something, guys. Sometimes it's the tiniest things. So I was really bummed about all of the time I'm using to clean up after meals. And it dawned on me like, oh, my gosh. I remembered it from having Augie. But I need one of those silicone bibs with.
the little scoop at the bottom that catches everything. And I've got that now and it's saving me major time. Not only that, but she's so like, Oh, I'm still hungry. Let me just look down and scoop out from the pocket in my bib. Yeah. It's like a trough. Exactly. It's like a feedback for a horse. Exactly. So I can just.
That's an easy one for me. That's a good one. I'll do you one better though. Okay. We have totally done away with pajamas. Once you get out of the shower at night, you just get dressed again in your clothes. Shut up. You're joking. It was about 45 minutes off. That is a dream that I've had for myself as an adult. It's so easy. I'm telling you, it is so easy. And the idea, I got the idea from like, actually I got the idea from the internet, but the internet didn't have this idea. The internet had the idea of...
PJs over to clothes or what? I was just a normal person laying clothes out the night before. But of course, I was like, there's so many weird, so many strange reasons that won't work for my children. Just like what you picked out at 7 p.m. is not appropriate or reasonable to you at 7 a.m. Like you've just had a change of thought or whatever. The girls mostly would just fucking melt down.
So now, once you get out of the bath, you just pick out your dream outfit to wear to school the next day and fucking get your ass into bed. When you wake up, when you wake up, you just come downstairs for breakfast. I am still shocked. Are you serious? It's so good. But what if they want to wear like jeans or corduroys to bed? Yeah, my kids have never worn jeans. That's another episode. That's so cute.
okay so they're like leggings sweats and he'll wear he likes to wear like tights under his shorts so like he'll just wear the tights to bed and throw the shorts on in the morning okay cool amazing perfect and their shirts are just slightly blown out by the time they get to school but what the fuck ever who cares but whatever like who cares i also other thing other time savers i don't brush their teeth in the morning i also don't brush their hair in the morning I'm saving. I'm saving. So this actually is so funny because I remember I posted a picture of breakfast and somebody was like, oh, fuck you. You make your kids pancakes in the morning. And I was like, that's true. That is actually like very extravagant. But now I'm seeing it because it's literally the only thing I do in the morning. You've eliminated every other possibility. That's good. That's good. Pack a relationship. Well, you know how when you have toddlers and young kids, like shoes can be such a pain in the ass. It's like a thing. The socks and the shoes.
putting them on. And I don't like the way that feels. I don't like the way that feels. Oh my God. I feel even triggered by the word shoe. And Leo, you know, he likes the socks to be high. It has to be a high sock. And okay. So I just throw, we have like a 15, a 10 minute ride down the hill. So that's like, you got to get in the car and then bump down the hill just to get to the highway.
And so I throw the socks and the shoes in the car. They go into the car barefoot. They're not allowed to put their shoes on in the house. They can take the full 15 minutes in the car, bumping down the hill, putting their socks and shoes on. So that's a huge time saver for me. That's genius. It's also such a great activity on the way to school. We don't need to talk. We don't need to look out the window. We don't need to play whatever that game is iced by. We're putting on our socks now. Put your socks and shoes on by the time we get to the bottom. You have to. While you're restrained in a five-point harness while you're going down a mountain. I love it. But half the time you're going, you're bumping.
I can't do it when you're bumping. And I'm like, I'm just so, you know me in the high pitched voice. It's not me. It's just our drive right. Gotta get used to it. Oh God. Anyway, that's one of mine. That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah. And then there's, what about breakfast for dinner? Oh God, breakfast for dinner. God help us. That's a good one. It's perfect. You just, you just take a bath, put your clothes on, eat breakfast and go to bed. You know what? My friends gave me the most amazing tip for breakfast for dinner. Put a little quinoa in your scrambled eggs.
Ew. Heartier. Well, throw some rice or some couscous if you don't like quinoa. I am so lame. Why? Because it's not enough? It's not enough protein? It's not going to fill you up enough for dinner. It's not enough carbs. Just throw some quinoa in there. Or beans. It's a heartier meal and it takes zero extra time. I'll tell you. Okay, Liz Harris, if any of you have any luck feeding your kids to grab what is quinoa for dinner? It's basically egg fried rice. I do that a lot. I'll make rice or stir fry and be like, this isn't enough. So you crack like three eggs in it and then you got a meal.
Or with your beans too. Crack some eggs in it. So speaking of meals, obviously the biggest time saver on earth is just sitting down on a Sunday and writing out what you're going to make Monday through Friday for dinner. Never done it. Never. Why is it so hard? Never once done it. I did it this past weekend. I made lunches for three days and it took me like three fucking hours on a Sunday. Lunches for who, babe? For you and Tim or for friends or all of you guys? No.
This is just for me. And like in the meantime, I'm pureeing food for Frances. So that does slow me down. Okay. But how do you feel during the week when you don't have to make lunch the next day? It's fucking heaven. It's heaven for those days that I made food. But like today's Thursday and I ran out. So I'm pretty fucking pissed. Sarah, what are you prepping for her? What are you prepping for her for lunch the next day? For Frances, I'm just pureeing anything. Like I'm making her smoothies. It's like a lifestyle. I'm throwing egg yolks. Wow. Oh, what? Chia. I try to throw some superfoods in there. No, I'm joking.
You know, you steam it, you puree it, you put it in the thing and give it to her the next day. Cool. Right. It's so funny, Sarah, because you're talking about saving time, but all those steps, every word that you just said, steam, puree, to me, just like time. Right. No, one of my time savers is my feeder pouches. That's a time saver. There you go. Duh. That's a time saver. It is a lifesaver, but it's bad for the environment, et cetera. There's always a little bit of guilt attached. Kate, I can hear you sighing. This is the difference, and this is no offense because I have been there, Sarah. I was puring and steaming everything in sight, but it is the difference between, I mean, Kate, you're on kid three. Did you just say you can hear me sighing? Yes.
So it's just a different perspective. I mean, what Sarah's saying is saving her time as a first time mother. I actually was saying when Sarah said they're bad for the environment. I felt bad that the environment has to die for us to have more time, but that's just the way it is. Oh, God. It is hard. Another time saver is changing your baby's diaper less than you know. Realizing like, wait, she is fine in a pee diaper. It's absorbing the pee.
Yeah. That's another time saver. Right. People don't wait in line for the bathroom. Just let your kid piss literally on any tree that's available. That's also taking your 10 year old to the girl's bathroom or sending your seven year old daughter to the boy's bathroom. Both great times. We just constantly pee outside. Even in parking lots, we do the double door. Do you guys ever do the double door? Oh yeah. So yeah, just pop the back door and the front door. And then you pretend to be like reading some text messages behind your kid. And they're just pissing all over the target. Oh my God. Great that you have target parking lot. You do this in the target parking lot.
Have if it's an emergency. Why didn't they just pee at Target? This is why I hate kids. You just were at Target. No, because this is like when you're coming into the parking lot and you're really parked super far away and like, I got to go so bad.
And you're like, okay, come on, come on. And then you just pop open the two doors and then they go. You make sure nobody can see. You know what I mean by the two doors, Molly, right? Yes, of course. No, definitely. All my kids have peed in parking lots before. I don't think that's weird. I just, when you said Target, I was like, I don't think it's weird at all. You know what? I think sometimes, and I know this is so gross, but sometimes I think like, how is my four-year-old peeing any less gross than your fucking dog peeing? Like, is it less? It's the same gross, right? It's the same.
same for sure that's how i justify it like if i had a dog and they were paying the target parking lot bitch you wouldn't fucking be looking at me twice so keep it moving true another time saver guys right don't shave don't shower oh god That also saves you so much time because you're not having sex at all. So you're like killing. Don't put on makeup. No makeup. Don't wash your teeth in the morning. Don't do your own laundry because you're just going to wear the same exact thing four days in a row for drop-off. Exactly. Tell your kids that they have to do a soap-up, but they only have 10 seconds and do the 10-second countdown. Tonight, we're not getting our hair wet. Night after night after night. Tonight, you don't have to get your hair wet.
A big time saver in our house, huge, was introducing my son to the shower. And at first he was like, I don't want to, I don't want to. And I just brought in like a bowl, like a big mixing bowl from the kitchen and threw a toy in it. And suddenly he was just having private time in the shower while I'm making dinner. Again, fully wasting water, but such a time saver for me. I don't have to bathe anybody. And I'm feeling like, yeah, the water's just washing it away. You know, having them, you're so right, Molly, having them be, I'm like advocating for things that may or may not be safe. I'm like, yeah, having them be in the bathroom or the shower by themselves.
Oh, the great time saver. And on the same line, Molly, our time saver is to have Edie give Mavis a bath. Have the seven-year-old give the four-year-old a bath. That's great. That's great. How about don't lead to your kids?
I've never done it, but it's a good one. It would be an amazing one. I would save, oh my God, hundreds of hours of my life. I love them. On Friday nights, we have, you know, a family movie night, so we put on a movie and I'm always like, well, it was a movie night, so there's no time for books, but it's the only night we don't do it. And it's like, oh, the best because he accepts it and he just goes right up there and basically wants a cuddle and a kiss and a good night.
You know, I've got a good one. I live in Hawaii, so you never know when you're going to end up at the beach. If it's a sunny afternoon, you might be like, let's head to the ocean, right? So you always keep a beach bag packed of moldy wet swimsuits in your truck. Always, no matter what. And yeah, and you wear them. So you don't have to like pack a bag and unpack a bag. You just always keep it in your truck. Right. Keeping everything in your car, really like just a little, what, tote or something of.
wipes, wipes, extra clothes. Yeah. Making lunches the night before, but you know, Kate, you're right. It's not saving time. It's just displacing the time, right? You're either doing it at night or you're doing it in the morning. And that kind of goes to a morning routine. Doing it in the morning is annoying because for some reason, and I know we're going to do another episode about this, but for some reason, things in the morning, such as filling water bottles up, I can't explain why it takes me 20 fucking minutes to fill three water bottles in the morning, but it does. It just takes so long. Time is, something is wrong with the time. I will say, since I'm staying home this year and not working, I'm making lunches at like one o'clock.
The day before? Yeah, the day before. Yeah, that's amazing. It's so luxurious, but that's not for everybody. What? You mean making lunch at 1 p.m. for the next day? So when my baby naps, I make lunch for Augie for the next day. For the following day. And I also try to make dinner around 2-ish. That reminds me of nannying. That was like the schedule. Your kid naps, you make lunch for the next day. Right. Yeah, it was a very efficient way. But it's not, you know, in my normal life when I head back to work, that's going to be a past dream. Anyway, yeah, you're getting time.
Nailing it. Nailing it. I got a great nail. Okay. My neighbor and I, who both have babies the same age, we are swapping babysitting for each other. Anyway, I sat for her kids tonight. They were already in bed. So I just went over there and I sat around and I dicked around on my phone for two hours. They went out, had some dinner and wine, and they came back totally happy and toasted. And then I just went to sleep. Nice. You're going to get a few doctors. So you and Tim are going to go out? Yep. We'll go out next week and they'll watch or like one of them will watch Francis. Perfect. That's so cool.
It didn't really last, but we definitely tried to get that going. That's so cool, Sarah. It's awesome. Super nail. Super nail, girl. Guys, I got to fail. Go for it. Okay. I was taking a shower, and Augie was playing in the bathroom, and he was sitting on the floor playing with something, looking up at me through the glass shower door, and he just said straight up, Mama, your boobs look like potatoes with pink bottoms. Oh, Lord. Did you say that was your nail or your fail? Fail. Can we just dissect that for one minute? Potatoes with pink bottoms.
Bottoms. You know what I'm saying? The nipple's pointing down. The nipple's coming down. Like the nipple is perpendicular to the floor. Or parallel. So the nipple is the bottom of the potato. Also, what shape are potatoes? They're not. They're long. Oh, okay. Next. I can't. I got a fail. I got a little nail and a fail that brought to you with the bath. Let's hear it. Okay.
Um, I started brushing my kids teeth at night in the bath, brushing Mavis's teeth while she's sitting in the bath. Love it. Time saver. Time saver. Plus when she's out of the bath, she's like running away from me. I'm holding her by the ponytail. It's just a bad scene. So I feel like, you know, brushing her teeth in the bath. And the fail is, um, you guys are two kids. Maybe this is more like Allie because they're a little older. Your kids are in the bath together, right? Like just naked, touching each other, whatever. The girls are like, my daughters are like flowers in the attic style. Like the conversations that they have are.
really sick oh god oh god and i just i just heard like i i heard he screaming when she's in the bathroom naturally i ran upstairs and i was like what you know what is going on and mavis was giving me like her fake innocent face like psycho face and she was like i just gave edie a wet willy and edie goes yeah in my butthole no no in my butthole oh god Maybe I see a little shit. Yeah. So that's my fail. I'm raising a future sexual predator. Oh, no, you're not. No. I got a nail. It's spring break right now. And I am the director of an art camp. And it's Thursday. And tomorrow's the last day. And we've had a great week. My fail is that I have family in town. My in-laws from Oahu and also the Netherlands. And it's been such a busy week that.
I haven't gotten to see them enough. And it's, I mean, that is what it is, but it feels really hard. Like I feel like I've kind of failed this week. Yeah. So it's been a great spring break, but I'm missing out. I'm gaining on one end and missing on the other. And isn't that always the way you guys can't do it all. It sucks. Can't have it all. I'm sorry.
Okay, you guys, thank you very much for the time saver, mom hacks, or whatever you want to call them. Listeners, if you like our podcast, please tell a friend. Tell two friends. And don't forget to jump on iTunes and leave us a review. That will go a long way for us. And we'll see you guys next time on Nursing and Cursing. Don't forget to not brush your teeth tonight. Don't shave your legs either. What's the point? Check us out next week for another episode of Nursing and Cursing, where it's safe to admit that you just left your kid in the car to run into Ace Hardware for five minutes.