All right, Mom. Put down that coffee and grab a wine. Get ready for another episode of Nursing and Cursing, a parenting podcast that covers more shit than your baby's full diaper. I'm Kate. I'm a stay-at-home mom of three in Brooklyn, New York. I'm trying to figure out whether I should go back to work, have another baby, or spend the rest of my life waiting for my fresh direct order. Hey, I'm Christine, a video editor and a mom of two living in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Allie here, podcasting up in the mountains in South Kona, Hawaii. I work as a real estate agent and a mom of two boys. Hey, I'm Molly. I'm a teacher raising two kids in St. Augustine, Florida. And I'm Sarah, a new mom to one sweet babe living in Brooklyn, New York. Between five busy households, it's a miracle we make it on the mic at all.
Trust me, we need this as much as you do. Hey, guys. Hey, girls. Happy, happy day. Welcome to Nursing and Cursing. This week's episode is pets. Let's talk about pets, baby. Okay, so we got animal lovers on this podcast, but warning listeners, some of us are not animal lovers. Please don't hate us.
Like really, to put ourselves out here like this and to admit the truth, I don't usually talk about this in real life because I lose friends. People think you're evil. If you don't like pets, people are like, ooh, I don't trust you. I don't like you. Animal lovers will literally say, I don't understand you if you don't like dogs. I feel like we do need to clarify because we're a parenting podcast and I do think the reason that we're talking about pets.
It's not just like our individual lifelong feelings about animals, but it's about having animals in your home when you're already taking care of a home and children as an adult. It's not about like how you felt as a kid when your parents had pets and they did all the work. This is like as an adult with children. That's a good call. And with that said, you know, I don't have a lot to say here because, well, my kid is like, because you hate animals and you will never allow one in your house. I got a husband who's a dog lover. And I think kittens are cute, but, um, and you know, my kid is just kittens. What about cats?
I mean, I don't mind Cat Sarah, but I won't have one. But you'll have a kitten. I've got four right now, so cool. Kids are adorable. Puppies are adorable. And kids love them and they want them, but they...
are not cute enough your voice is nothing it's not cute enough it's not cute enough nothing's cute enough to do the pet hair the scent well Chrissy you have like a death now Chrissy's like definitely allergic to cats but I wasn't but I wasn't growing up which is weird I always had cats growing up and then as soon as I left home and came back I developed an allergy no Chrissy you were allergic to our cats in high school I remember you coming over that's why your dad got that mean coon yeah don't I feel like Wayne was getting all these weird cats and you were like that's nothing to do with me that's just him being weird what was that cat's name We had so many cats. Mr. Zippers. We had the zipper, singular. There was another one, too. I'm going to be very less from this. Allie, why do you have four cats right now? Allie, why do you have one cat? My cat's a slut, and every time I try to go to get her spade, she's already pregnant. Oh, bummer. But you have a cat for a reason. It's like me and the IUD. Exactly. Well, it's like you and both your kids, Allie. It's just like trickling down to your pets. What? Wow.
Well, I don't have a third kid, and I wouldn't have a third kid. Yeah, whatever. I hear the cat getting raped at night, and I'll turn on the lights and be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I saw a cat getting raped the other day for real. I saw a few cats fucking, and the girl cat underneath looked fucked up. But I was like, I was having such a me-too moment. I started throwing garbage at them. Yeah. Yeah, and you should. Get away from her. Okay, so. So, no, we've got four kittens right now, you guys. And for the first, the kittens are usually always born in Phoenix's bed, right? Wait, Allie, go back, because you don't like cats, but you have cats. Why do you have to have them?
Okay. I live, um, a very indoor outdoor lifestyle, meaning like our house is open. Like my kitchen is open. There's no screens. There's no walls. There's like a half wall. So, um, animals can easily get in. We're in the jungle and rats have been a problem in our house before you could, um, years ago when we first built it and, you know, we were just living in the jungle in a little gazebo, you could hear rats scurrying across your roof at night. You could just always hear the rats. And that's disgusting. That's like you're staying awake with a flashlight. You're, you're.
you feel so gross. So we had, um, a feral cat come to us and ended up living with us years ago. And we realized, Oh wow, this actually took care of the rat problem. I don't, Peter's allergic to cats. So we would never, we weren't going to get a cat, but somehow over the years or this specific short hair cat, he's not allergic to. So we got another cat. Um, well that like that cats, cats have, but like, I don't know. That's like a little bit of my relationship to cats too. Cats have a,
cats in moderation like have a use they do have a use so like they they are good for like pest control and rodent control that's why like you know what just happened to me and I'll share in a minute but that's why I begrudgingly I mean I don't know fuck is it my turn I like cats but after having kids I don't see the point in cats that's the problem like cats in moderation but your kids love love the cats but I but I also like I also like loved I we always had cats growing up and I'm a cat person but after I had kids I mean I think I've told I probably told you guys this I don't know if I've shared on the podcast I had two cats. And then when Wilder was born, they both died back to back. Maybe like three months after I brought Wilder home from the hospital. You just forgot to feed them? Neglect. Like, no, I didn't forget to feed them. But like one of them ate rat poisoning in a neighbor's apartment. But like, what was she doing there? No, no, no. But like the problem is like after I had a kid, your kid is your ultimate pet. So like fuck all the other pets. Plus like fuck cleaning up more shit and spending more money. Like spending more money. Pets just so expensive. And you have to take dogs on walks. It's like who had the time? They die. And then your kids get really fucking sad. And you have to spend tons of money to like bring them back from the dead. Which you literally did.
Which I literally gave that cat away right away after we spent $2,000. You gave that cat away? Friendly? Friendly. He lives with my sister-in-law's family in Pennsylvania, and that's great, and that's for a lot of reasons, one of which is that my son developed a cat allergy, which is confusing because we just got another cat. This really spins me into a confusion. I just don't get it. I also ordered a $700 vacuum cleaner today.
Water can live here with her cat. Oh, wow. See, pets just, it's snowballs. They are so expensive. Snowballs, yeah, in ways that you just don't see. Like my cat, you guys know. Oh, God, your cat's the worst. She's got chronic diarrhea. Your cat is a celebrity at this point. My cat's not the worst, though. Your cat costs more money than your baby girl. The thing is, she's not that bad. I see online other people have way worse problems. Why are you Googling other people's cat problems? You're just like, fucking freak. What are you doing? What? Why are you Googling other people's cat problems? She's not. No, like on Facebook, on the mom's group, people are like, oh, my God, my cat has.
developed this thing since my baby was born has anyone else dealt with this problem people are like yes oh hashtag that's what happens you have a baby and you hate your pets all of a sudden that's what happens i don't get pets but can we go to the place of the the so somebody looks like um let's just say an augie who doesn't grow up with pets but gets into elementary school and then starts begging i know because i was a teacher and i um have these parents who are like we will take your classroom pet for spring break which is like a very very easy leopard ghetto let's just say which you can, like, not feed a leopard gecko for two weeks, and it's fine. Not that I tried that in my classroom. But these kind of parents are like, let me take it so I can basically shut my kid up, give them some responsibility for a couple of weeks, and then send it on back to the classroom. That's going to be me, but I don't even think I'm going to take it that far to volunteer to take it home. Oh, we have a volunteer list for the two guinea pigs, and I'm like, never, ever, sorry, Phoenix, I'm going to tell you up front, we are never taking the guinea pigs home. Why? You have, like, 20 cats. Why would it matter if you have the guinea pigs? Cats will probably eat them.
Well, because then Allie would accidentally kill the guinea pigs and have to go into the classroom to explain. Exactly. I'm here to drop off the dead guinea pigs and pick up the credit card. I mean, okay, let's just keep in line with my character here. I did, whew, this year, run over my dog's back leg. That was an accident, Allie. I know. It's not okay. It's awful. It's not your character. I'm not going to sit here and stand to listen to that self-bashing. That has nothing to do with your character. No, I mean, my quote-unquote character on the podcast. That's all I meant.
I meant like, you know, the blonde out in Hawaii always making mistakes. I've never thought that. I know, but our listeners guarantee you do. No way. No, I have a dog, you guys. I don't remember. Whatever. It was a year ago, year and a half. I was like, we got a dog. You like that dog for a hot second. It's cute. I can say this about animals. I swear to goodness. I swear to the Lord. I do love them. I can look into their eyes and be like, I love you as this being on this earth. I do not like you at all. I don't like what you do. I don't like how you smell. I don't like you and I don't want you around me. But I do love you on a different level. Does that make any sense? No.
No, because I grew up next to you. We grew up side by side. So this whole I do love you as a being is some fucking hippie shit you picked up along the way. You need to get back to your roots. What about Jeffrey? I did love Jeffrey. You love that cat, Molly. That cat is an asshole. Don't you tell me. Yeah, you loved the cat. I do. The dog is like my boy's dog. They love the dog. So by default, I love the dog. They love the cats.
Actually, Leo hates him. Can we talk about the day you ran over the leg or is that too touchy? Yeah, we can. The dog started to chase my truck down the hill, down the bumpy road. And I was like, go home and go home, you know. And I looked behind me. He was still chasing me so far down that I was like, oh, damn it. So I turned the truck around and was like, all right, I'm just going to run him back up to home. Hindsight, yeah, what's wrong with me? I should have picked up the dog and put him in the back of the truck or into the truck and taken him home. But I was like, I'm going to run him. I'm just going to let him chase me back. And he, I don't know what, started weaving in and out of the tires.
yeah you must have been ally i actually like hearing you we were all like what the fuck lol when you texted us but hearing you tell that story like that's traumatizing i'd be very freaked out to run over a dog it is so traumatizing of course yeah really scary just like any just like any living thing to hit it with your car is distressing and i had to lift him up into the truck and take him home and then say um babe i ran over dog's leg and he was you know you guys know my husband he just took one look at me and And just said, goodbye. Get out of here. Goodbye. Go where you need to go. Not your fault. Allie, really, really, really, really, truly not your fault. Yeah, this is a long time ago. We have, we paid $2,500. We got pins in his legs. $2,500. That's so much money. Yeah, for an animal that I never wanted, you guys. Like, that's a whole other angle. My husband wants pets and I don't. But he's like, we live on a farm. You know, we're kind of open. We need a dog to bark when people come up or when there's pigs. We need cats to get rid of the rats. So. Is the dog doing his duty? Oh, geez.
Um, yeah. It's a problem with the dog right now because there's an animal in heat on the way and the dog's running off to the neighbor. So he's tied up right now for a while. You're making it sound like he's on a call and he can't get off. On a what? He's a little tied up. Oh, right. Oh, yeah, he's a little tied up. Man. Okay, so, wow.
I'm in denial about my pets. In my mind, I don't have them. Isn't that funny? I just go about my business like I don't have them, except they constantly ruin my life. You guys remember the rug? Yes, yes. It costs me a lot of money. It's sad. What did you ever do about that? Did you ever go to Costco and return the rug? No, I'm still working up the balls, but what I did do, it was just in a lump on the porch, and I...
I laid it out and I kind of patted it out, vacuumed it a little bit, rolled it up real, real nice, tied a rope around it. So now I'm like, okay, yeah, I can return this now. Now I can return this. Okay. So Kate, um, give us a, tell us like where you are. Cause this episode was born out of what happened this week. Um, we, so I, our house, like our house is, um, it's an old house, like a hundred years old. And, uh, we have been living here for a year. And in that year I saw a mouse in our kitchen and this is like months and months ago, but it really like,
i didn't go into the kitchen at night for like a really long time and i was really freaked out and i was like we and i did a lot of like put steel wool in every like hole i could find and blah blah blah um but i was like we need a cat we got to get a cat my husband does not like cats and my son has like at least a mild cat allergy So then I was like researching like hypoallergenic cats, but they're so expensive. And like, if your husband says like, I don't like cats. And then you're like, let's buy a cat. It's $2,000. Like, it's just not even a conversation. I would never know. I wouldn't like, no, just like, no, it's crazy.
but but but of course um we came back from spring break and there's a black kitten on our porch tiny tiny little kitten and my daughter's vaporoni for three days and just like loved on it non-stop and the cat kept trying to come in the house I think I sent you guys a video of me lying on the couch um with a migraine and the period from hell while my girls just like brought this flea-ridden fucking creature in over and over again while I and then I would kick it back out and eventually I took it to the vet and um it's our cat now like it's our cat and I'm probably gonna like fall in love and be totally obsessed with it and like it more than my children like more than I like my own children and more than my children like the cat um the cat is called serious black the cat so good um and even my husband who's not really like a cat person he was home today and he was cuddling with her so it's a girl yeah it's gonna be fine we gave away one of the kittens today you guys and phoenix was full tears like that's a whole part of it right yeah so the kids the kids love the cats imagine i do i am a cat person if i did not have kids i would probably have one cat and that would and i would be like super psyched but i also am like a super shallow person and i don't fucking want my couches torn up by a cat and i don't want to buy a vacuum cleaner that costs like a fucking ticket to the uk because you know my son has like a cat allergy problem and i don't want to fucking scoop cat shit because i'm already like dealing with enough literal shit already i'm already plunging toilets like
I don't want to go to the vet and spend a bunch of money on vaccines. Like, well. Are you saying I'm not going to fall back in love with my cat? Because I used to really be in love with her. It's over, Sarah. You were so in love. It is over. But Frances is going to love her on a level. Probably. It is. She's obsessed with her. You're going to love Frances. If the cat's going to die, you're going to have to explain it to Frances. Last thing I want to say about pets. Animals die. People die. That's right. Sarah, that's exactly my dad growing up always. Like, we had so many cats growing up. Obviously, they always died. Some of natural causes. Some of very grisly, like, human-related deaths. Right. My dad always said, like, one of our.
beloved cat somebody accidentally closed the dryer on him that's how he died but wow but my dad always said sarah same thing as you like pets pets are on this earth to teach you to teach children about death so it's great when they die because you're just teaching them a lesson and i was like okay thank you for that cherry on top that was fucking awesome kate i might get a pet now and not and kill it yeah right oh my god Okay, nail bells. Oh, shoot. Okay, I got a nail. I am podcasting right now, again, in my father-in-law's basement. I just went to the dirty fridge and saw a big container of Easter candy in a jar. So jealous. Uh-huh. So I'm just nailing chocolate right now, you guys. I got a nail.
As you guys know, I took the kids on spring break by myself and we drove back. Just me and the kids went on a road trip to Virginia and back over spring break. And the drive home for some reason said it was going to be seven hours. And for some reason that was like never explained by the GPS took 11 hours and we all survived. So that's like my nail. But my super nail is the power of prayer. I was texting all of you guys or I think maybe just Molly the night before the car trip. And I was saying like, I have a migraine. I'm bloated. I'm in a horrible mood. This is my period. And I cannot have my period.
and drive my children from Virginia to New York. I literally cannot do it. Kate and I, listeners, Kate and I have periods back to back. That's why we often connect at that time. She knows when I have mine, she's about four days behind. Molly, when you say like, when you are like, I'm day one on my period, I literally feel chills and I truly look at my calendar like, okay, what's coming? So I was texting Molly and I was just like, I can't start my period, I can't start my period, I can't start my period. Because like, you know, a seven to 10 hour drive, three children on your own, Virginia to New York. You can't be on your period for that. And not day one, maybe like a day four, you probably could.
I made the drive home and literally the moment that I sat on the toilet after the drive. Blood. Unbelievable timing. But I don't feel like it's timing. I feel like my prayer. Exactly. Power of prayer. It was the power of prayer. Yeah, absolutely. Or your kegels. As most women know, you can will your period to stop and you willed it not to come. As most women know.
Right, right. Every woman has that. Ellie and I tried to do it, but it probably just was at the end of it still. I'm just like, oh, it's done. It's done. I'll stop wearing tampons today. Oh, yeah. It's a mistake. It's a joke. Also, Sirius Black got you through that car ride, too, right, Kate? No, she was waiting for us. Oh, you mean the, yeah, sorry, you mean the real Sirius Black. Yes, we've also been listening to the Harry Potter.
books on um like audiobooks and my kids love them and it's been like a real like thank god because while i was reading them myself and i was trying to read them with edie and mavis was asking me to read like other books so this is like a great thing for us now nobody has to read that's exactly so embarrassed i had no idea where sarah's black came from so now you know but how would you because i'm a teacher okay like you just added yourself so bad sarah Sarah, you go ahead. My nail is that I reported last week that my daughter had dropped her first nap and I'm pretty sure it was just a hiccup and we're back on schedule. And my second nail is that she sleeps in the basement now, which don't judge me. Sounds so different than it really is. I am judging you. You have a basement apartment and the basement is a room of its own. That's right.
Okay, that's New York terms. You just say, oh, sleep in the bed, it's no big deal. To other people, that doesn't sound right. It's like that movie Room. Good job, Sarah. Amazing, Sarah. You guys, my friend just texted me that she's going into labor right now. See if she wants to get on the mic.
That's right. Two to five. One of us has to have another baby because I feel like alive. Oh, I would 100% get on you guys. You know I would. Alive. That would be amazing. Allie drinks such meditative breaths. My whole labor with Matilda we texted the entire time start to finish, you guys. Oh, my God. We really need to do this episode because your labor with Matilda literally was. We were moving that day and you literally texted. I'm having contractions. They're so strong. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. We're still at home. And then I swear, 20 minutes later, there was a text that said she's here. And we were. No, Sarah was like, I think you should go to the hospital. And I'm like, I don't think so. And Sarah's like, no, girl, go. And I'm like, okay. Different episode. We need it. We need the story. Okay, so.
Guys, man, a nail fail. My fail is my daughter just woke up. Bye, honey. Anyway. Matilda, we love you. Stop waking up. My other fail is I took my son to a bar tonight and then we sat down at the bar to get a drink. Our friend was like, I don't mean to be a stickler, but it's against the law to put your toddler up at the barstool. Don't mean to be a stickler.
But it is opening night. Okay, we're just working out the kinks. We're just working out the kinks, baby. Just wanted to get a little soda. Damn. All right. Okay, so my nail is introduced chicken drumsticks, and I know that's everybody's nail on this podcast. Thanks to Allie. She, like, reminded us how oven-baked chicken drumsticks are, and we're all baking them, and I just wear them in my fridge, and I grab and go. My daughter loves them. I put them in everything. I eat them cold.
I did take the podcast by storm and I would love an Instagram series where we all share our drumstick photos. We could have five windows of drumsticks. For drumsticks, Sarah? Yeah. Okay, well, we could give it to them right now. Maybe people really just, I mean, some people don't. You know what, you're right. Sometimes I did follow a recipe for avocado toast the other day that literally was one teaspoon of olive oil. I don't know why the fuck I'm laughing. I do it all the time.
My fail. So Tim's working a new job and, um, they have um you know like incentives you know how insurance programs have incentives to if you're healthy you kind of can get points and you get money off your bill or whatever they'll send you a gift card okay you know that whole thing um so he is suddenly wearing a fitbit on his arm and it's like oh fuck i know it tracks everything and he's like oh this is so cool like it tracks my stress it tracks my steps and i'm just kind of obsessed with that molly you know it so but um he came Like at the end of the day, he was looking at his stress and he was like, huh, it's so weird. Take a look at this. Look how low stress I am all day. It's like in the green, in the green. And he's like, oh, it spikes right here. And you can see the line. It's like fluffing in the green down low. And then it's skyrocketing to red. And I'm like, yeah, give me the timestamp. The minute he walks in the door. So you should tell him, like, that's where mine would be all fucking day. I'm like, great. Oh, you come home to me and that's how you feel. Great.
I feel like it's a fail. I don't understand. What is it measuring? Like what, how does it know? Heartbeat and who knows what, I don't know. The pulse is just going, you know what, Molly, they did a study. This is like a study that's like cited all the time where they had women like measure their stress in intervals, every like whatever, whatever. Yeah. And women were like women, women were like fucking hella stressed all day and through the roof stressed from five to 9 PM. So I don't know. I wouldn't sweat that little gadget too much. Okay. Thank you.
You guys listening, thanks for joining us. We'd love to hear your pet stories. Holler at us. No, we wouldn't. We love you anyway. Oh, my God. People think we hate pregnancy reveals and we hate pets. Something's wrong with us.