Alright, Mom. Put down that coffee and grab a wine. Get ready for another episode of Nursing and Cursing, a parenting podcast that covers more shit than your baby's full diaper. I'm Kate. I'm a stay-at-home mom of three in Brooklyn, New York. I'm trying to figure out whether I should go back to work, have another baby, or spend the rest of my life waiting for my fresh direct order. Hey, I'm Christine, a video editor and a mom of two living in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Allie here, podcasting up in the mountains in South Kona, Hawaii. I work as a real estate agent and a mom of two boys. Hey, I'm Molly. I'm a teacher raising two kids in St. Augustine, Florida. And I'm Sarah, a new mom to one sweet babe living in Brooklyn, New York. Between five busy households, it's a miracle we make it on the mic at all.
Trust me, we need this as much as you do. Good evening, everybody. Welcome to Nursing and Cursing. Hey, guys. Hey, y'all. Hey, ladies. Missed you this week, even though I'm on a text string with you 24-7. Okay. This week's episode is the dreaded talk about money. Ugh.
I'm already sweating. Yeah. How does this relate to having kids? Well, I just got grounded. You know, I remember very vividly when I was trying to get pregnant with my first kid and maybe we were ready. Maybe we weren't. I don't think my husband was fully ready, but I remember telling him that finances were not part of it because I would be nursing and it's basically free. Great. So I love that argument. Oh my God. Way to sell it. I was thinking about that today. And like, you know, you can get a lot of free stuff online.
from other parents on Facebook. It's a great community or whatever, but still, people don't have every single thing that you need. You know, you need, like, you try a bottle, it doesn't work. You have to go to another bottle, it doesn't work. There are so many things that you just cannot account for. Oh, the, like, $70 I spent on trying to find the right passy? Yeah. Or how about frickin' daycare? Oops. How about just, like, money in general in your marriage once you have kids? It's just, it's, I feel like it's like the Holy Trinity of conversations I never want to talk about. Money, sex, there's some other, what's the other one? I don't know. Politics. Religion. Family. Family. Definitely, Kate. This, I will be, I'll just come out with it. This topic is uncomfortable for me.
When I first heard that we were going to talk about this, I was like, I don't want to put myself out there and my business out there. I feel like you're so great with your money, though, Molly. I actually feel like you're incredibly disciplined and you and Tim are very thoughtful about where you spend it. Yeah, I agree. You're a team. Oftentimes, I don't tell details. I don't know if I was raised that way, but I don't talk about details. What are you saying? Debt, how much debt, why debt. I'm sure that your debt isn't far off from what everybody else's debt, or at least why.
In America? Yeah. Like with our recent change, like that has shifted. But the truth is you might think everything is like super in control, but it feels super scary. Like I don't have a plan for my kids college. Well, you also are renovating a house right now. And I feel like you cannot, there is no financially, at least for us, for me and Jeremy, like that has, was a hundred percent. Buying a house, renovating a house was the scariest thing financially that we've ever done because some days it just felt like.
we were throwing money away and even though we budgeted we ended when we moved into our house we were like in so much credit card debt because we just the whole it just like gets away from you so fast yeah well and little things too about like what do you want to give your kids um extracurriculars and shit or for some people it's summer camp or whatever Yeah. Where do each of you feel like you spend the most of your time talking about money? Like, is it the day to day? Like how much money is or do you think more about like long term money that stresses you? You know what it is, Sarah, for us? And I'll just go first. Like for us, it's not where we it's not any of those things. It's actually the dynamic that's stressful. It's the feeling that Jeremy is the one that makes the money and I'm the one that spends the money. That's super hard. Like that dynamic is really hard. And it's not it's 100 percent not for my husband. He does not. He is not like that. He's not.
putting it on me, but we also both are, we have all of our accounts are linked. So we see, we have like, we see where the spending is going. He's going to work every day. What are you doing? You're going to the grocery store. You're going to spend $14 in a week. Whoever is with the kids spends the money. That's just how it is. Right. So, so we don't, we don't, a lot of the time when we talk about money, unfortunately it's a lot of like not coming from the eye, but coming from the you like, well, you did blah, blah, blah. And it's like, yeah, of course I did. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Speaking of money, you know,
here's a good way to spend your money or save your money. Do you guys know, you know how I feel about HelloFresh, right? I know how you guys feel about HelloFresh. Love it. They have a company that they own now called Green Chef, which is the first USDA certified organic meal kit delivery service. And it includes everything you need to cook these like really delicious gourmet meals. And I tried it, you guys, and I love it. So it's cool because the ingredients come pre-measured, perfectly portioned, and mostly prepped, which is so perfect for us. Saves me crazy time. Gritty, you're trying to do it, right?
I did. I love it too. It's so easy, wonderful. It's high quality. I loved it. The plants include paleo, vegan, vegetarian. Yeah, I did the carnivore. It was really good.
The way the chefs design the recipes is fully like you're eating in a restaurant, like really good flavor. And they make it so that you're planning around your life. You're planning these dinners around your life, not the other way around. So it's cool. So what did you make, Critty? Okay. I did the keto plan. I made the Greek chicken. It was so good, you guys. It came with this cauliflower chapouli. It had a tahini sauce. It was so delicious, like healthier than anything I would ever make my family. And we devoured it. It was awesome. That's really good. I made the baked cod with miso sauce.
Fully felt like I was sitting in a restaurant. I was very proud of it. I really recommend it. If you guys want to check it out, you have got to try a little code that we have. It's for $50 off your first box of Green Chef. Go to greenchef.us slash nail. Again, it's $50 off your first box of Green Chef. Go to greenchef.us slash nail. Check it out.
so nice girls wow thank you okay so guys with money in my house just to jump back to money we have like a don't ask don't tell policy like i don't ask about it i swipe it whenever i want and um every time just feeling sick to my stomach because i know i know it's not like adding up but i just i can't face it you guys like this is the first time i've ever not worked since i was 15 years old and the way we are is so different i'm very responsible i'm very type a he's very how do you say it what would you say about yolo yolo loves life very fucking yolo like live once live once no consequences like loves to put a smile on everybody's face yes he likes to be the big dog let me pick up dinner he always makes less than everybody at the table but he stop no it's fine that is the reality I'm not embarrassed so generous I think he's a generous heart and that's attractive but um you know one day i'm gonna have to like look and see what the hell's going on because i'm like dude am i gonna be 60 like a walmart reader when i'm 70 or whatever like we need to know what's happening but on the flip i will say for our kids we have been diligent like we started college savings right when they were born and we always laugh that our kids have a bigger savings than we do like that is one one responsible thing we're doing and right now we're like okay we're in the fucking weeds we'll we'll get our shit together in like okay five years when i can work again and when everything's good we're just living finally so levi's at harvard and then he'll be able to bail us out who has college savings
Um, I do, but, um, we've saved like enough money for water to go to college for one semester. We've saved enough for ED to go for like two weeks and enough for Mavis to buy some books. Great. That's a start though. Okay. That's two out of five. Who else? No. Do I have a college savings? How about, do I have a savings? Yeah. We'll just leave it at that. Okay. Yeah. Tim started putting money away for Francis when we found out I was pregnant. He puts my money away every week.
That's really good. Can I just point something out, Allie? Yeah. You and I were raised by the same parents and we're the only two people on here who are not saving for our kids' college. My kids didn't pay for my college. But you're also putting your money in your house right now. That's an investment. You don't know where you will use that money later. I love how you're acting like this renovation is a choice between.
Like it's not how it is. Right. We took every penny out of our, every single penny out of our savings account, every penny out of our savings account and used it for the down payment on our house. And the only way we could do that is because Jeremy kept telling me we're not spending it. We're moving it. We're not spending the money. We're just moving the money. And that was like, I was like, okay, okay. Yes, absolutely. That's it. I mean, I'm a real estate agent. It's the absolute best place you can put your money. Of course. Right. But I'm just pointing out that, um,
Our parents didn't have accounts for us. None of us did. But I have a question. I have a quick question. Does anybody do the kind of math that I do where when I'm spending money and I'm feeling bad? For some reason, if I spend $100 today and $100 tomorrow, that's different than if I spend $200 today. Oh, absolutely. Like if there's a sleep in between it, it's like the money's not going to add up. It's like I got a refresh. It's a reset. You get a full reset. Where my money, where the only place my husband is like looking at me saying, what the hell?
because here's another one you guys we still have separate accounts but not because we're like working it that way I'm not working right now because I'm staying home with Goldie but we have separate accounts just from history we never got it together so we're doing this weird like dance of moving it around and who's paying what even though it's all the same it's coming from two different places but the only place where he's ever gives me a little bit of something is traveling and I'm not talking like I'm going to Fiji but I you know like i'm my family is super important i want to make sure that i get that trip out in the summer to see them or friends or whatever and lately he's been like there has to be a day where you draw the line so he won't give it to you if you go out and like buy a few dresses and some throw pillows he won't i don't do that either never ever that's why my husband doesn't give it to me for that i mean my anxiety is the grocery store guys the gas station that's not fair um he doesn't really give it to me but i will say like we went through a very hard time and right now we I would say we are just in a really great spot and I'm like what is what has changed why are we not so dark you know and it's because I basically started working again this year and I don't have to ask him for every little bit of money or you know steal his card or feel really bad about this or that like money is wrapped up there's so much shit in that but it sucks to have to ask somebody for seven years to put gas in your car or whatever and you're working really fucking hard right you're raising why do you have to ask I don't get like you have you don't have just like to have the conversation like
you just mean like that only one person earning yeah only one person earning is is what I mean it's not like logistically um can I have five dollars you know but it's very stressful and then it becomes there's a power element like you not that not that one's holding power over the other but you feel like you you don't have control and you feel like a little kid just like hey you know like yeah need something like run it by them you don't have something so basic something so basic like oh and i feel like it doesn't even need to come from them like i feel defensive about like okay kids piano lessons are a great a great example like the kids piano lessons are 400 a month i'm not going to discuss that cost it just sucks living here and i we we knew it wasn't going to be that up front and i set it all up and yet every single month when it would get charged the card every fucking month my husband was like um what's this 400 charge blah, blah, blah. I was like, it's the piano. And he was like, oh, oh, we're still doing piano, huh? And then just like silence. And I was like, still doing piano. Still doing it. Mommy, mommy, mommy. Shut up. Oh my God.
Love her. Well, you guys, speaking of annoying things that we have to go through, big bummer. I started my period. Oh, Sarah, wait. Like for the first time. Yeah, first time in two years. Wow. Baby number two. I know. It sucks, but Sarah, did you check out that new company I told you about, Lola? I did, and I love them. You guys, Lola, it has a line of period products, and you can get a subscription each month for organic tampons, pads, liners.
And you can customize your subscription to fit whatever your period needs are. Like if you need mostly tampons for light days, then you can change your percentage of light tampons that you need. So it's really cool because you have your subscription and then you don't have to think about it every month. It just is going to arrive at your door and it's perfectly tailored to you and whatever you need. And Sarah, don't they also, like, isn't it when you buy, when you buy your, when you sign up for your subscription, you have your purchase, don't they also donate to a homeless shelter? But they don't, they do that too, right? Yeah. So they're just such a great company, I feel. That's really cool. Yes. I actually, I tried them too. And I added to my tampon subscription, you guys, I added Sex by Lola, which is condoms, personal lubricant, and the cleansing wipes, which I was saying. Yes, I know. And the great thing is, is that they're all gynecologist approved and they maintain a healthy pH balance. It makes me feel like my vagina is in great hands. And the.
Lube I was super excited about because when you open the bottle, you guys, it smells like vanilla icing. And I was like, oh, shit, this smells so good. It's probably got a bunch of chemicals in it. But actually, it's 95% organic. So indulge away, girls. Even put it on your kids' cupcakes if you want. I don't think you should actually do that.
Okay. Anyway, if our listeners want to try the tampons or the condoms or anything else, they can go to mylola.com and enter our promo code NAIL for 40% off their first order. That's mylola.com and our promo code is NAIL. And they really are a great company. So I urge you guys to take advantage. Yes. Thanks, Kate. Thanks, Sarah. Thanks, Lays. Love you. So, yeah. It's back to money. Yep. It's a tough one. It is a tough one. Yeah. It's a tough one when you're in charge of all the...
everybody except for your husband you're in charge of keeping that grocery bill down and whatever the hell it is is your goal and then sometimes sometimes i do flip it and think like i get so like at this even when jeremy mentions me and and i really want to stress like he is not a dick about it but even when he's like we need to talk about blah blah i feel so pissed off Yeah. So what is that? You know, I want, I don't want it to be that way for my children. I don't know if that's something we were raised with. Um, just the stigma, the stigma around money, right. And the anxiety that it brings to talk about it. Like if, if my husband asks about a certain bill or, you know, why is this this way? I almost go into shutdown mode. Like I hate it. I would just rather not, I go into denial about certain things like, eh, it's not really there. You know, I don't know. I don't know what that is. I think it runs deep. I was going to say, but if it's sometimes when I.
flip it i think like okay jeremy's trying to keep everything keep all the balls in the air for a family of five living in new york he never ever wants to say no like when i say things like i think we should sign the kids up for blah blah blah he doesn't want to argue with me and he doesn't want to be the heavy and he doesn't want to he doesn't want to bring anybody down and he doesn't want to say no and then i do think like as defensive as i sometimes feel about money i know that he's lying awake sometimes staring at the ceiling like how the fuck are we gonna send three kids to college after raising them here yeah um so i don't think anybody Good point, Kate, because he's doing a great job. So are all the men on this thread. I mean, yes, it's true. And I'll just say, I'm feeling like I've been dogging on my man, but you guys know how he likes to just throw it all out there. Everything on Pete. Are you kidding? I didn't hear you. I don't think you dogged on him. I love the way Pete rolls. My husband stopped listening because he was like, I feel like a lot of this podcast is kind of like just you shitting on me. And I don't know. I just get that at home all the time. So it's cool. So I'm going to give you a nail and a fail. Right. All right. Okay.
My nail is I took my first ever trip cross-country with my kids alone. That's amazing. Molly, that is so huge. Can't be overstated. It was so, so wonderful and so very difficult. Deep to my core, exhausted. I still am.
Just, you know, we've all been through it before. Vacation, I wouldn't... That word doesn't even... It wasn't relaxing. We did that episode. Relaxing. Okay, no vacation. Okay, so that was the nail. The fail was, on the way there, the flight was so bad that I really did shove it down so deep that it didn't even occur to me that it was a fail, but Goldie didn't get rest the night before.
There was so she was crying through the whole thing, which is not even like her there was a mishap with the iPad It didn't work for two hours. Well, I was like refreshing refreshing trying to get it to work It was pretty chill about that. Um, we also got stuck on the tarmac for an hour But the real fail of it was when I I'll give it finally started to work and it was in between shows and He was like I want to watch that one and I'm like trying to bounce marigold on one hip and help him out And I realized the one he wants to watch was, like, you could see the picture of it, but it was never downloaded. And I'm like, oh, that one's not a choice. And he just turns to me with his, like, devil face like he had been possessed and just yelled as loud as he could, I'm going to smash your face in front of others. Oh, God, the whole plane hurt it, Allie. It was so loud. Like, it's your fault. He, like, yeah, he wasn't getting it. That's a real thing you should say to somebody when they're trying to work out your stupid, dumb iPad. But anyway, in that moment, I went into, like, quick crossroads of.
Okay, you're either going to tell him... basically say don't speak to me that way and then press play on another movie or you're going to put your money where your mouth is and I don't know what the fuck I was thinking but I was like calmly just said okay your iPad time is done that's when you're like disciplining out of spite which is a place I love to get to it's like I'm doing the right thing but for the wrong reason it's like I'm following through but it's really only because I want to fucking piss you off so bad yeah but like the kicker is that we're like two hours left in the flight oh you punish yourself like slow motion like what did I just do close that iPad up and what do you think happened I mean like a two year old style tantrum and he's four and a half screaming, thrashing his body, hitting the person next to him. And I just had to accept it because I made the choice. It was so bad. I wanted to just dive into myself and never come out. Sorry, girl. Congratulations. On the way back, he did not fuck around with his manners. Great, you worked. I was like, step in your manners and your iPad's gone. And he believed it because I...
Right, you did it. You guys, it was so bad. I was so dumb. It was the worst fail. I don't think so. It sounds like you taught him a lesson and he learned it. No, you did the right thing because it's now behind you. In the moment? I would not have had the balls to do it. Me either. Never. It was hell. I don't know if it was worth it.
I got a really quick nail. Today I got some really amazing news after a year of waiting. Jeremy and I got a call today that we got a parking spot in a garage on our block. When Jeremy called me, I had to sit down on one of the kids' beds that I was changing the sheets on because my legs were shaking. I'm so happy for you. This is the best news ever. It's going to change my life. Just so listeners know what this means. In New York City, there's alternate side parking. Some mornings, you can't park on the left side. Then you can't park on the right side. It's almost every day of the week. Mostly, the biggest one for us is that in the winter, we have to dig our car out and look for parking in the snow. We're never going to have to do that again. Wow. Incredible. I'm so happy for you guys. It was bigger than middle school. Bigger than when we got the letter saying that was in middle school. It felt bigger. Don't say it.
Oh, okay. Anyone else? Oh, okay. I have a quick nail. Real quick, I went to New York City and visited Kate and Sarah with my family. You're just like absolute ultimate nail ever. Fun. So fun. We had the best time. If I hadn't gotten parking, babe, that would have been my nail. Yeah, you bitch. And then my fail. Oh, gosh. I'm going to try to make it so quick. There's a babysitter I've had that I don't trust. She's so incompetent. She's a very young 18. There's a babysitter that I use twice a week. She's really stupid. I used her a few times. And then one time I just said to Garrett, never again. She is fucking.
dumb like in a crisis she wouldn't know what to do so anyway Father's Day was rolling around so desperate I had to run some errands I'm like okay no one's available surely she can't fuck up in a one hour you know one hour with me gone should be no big deal I'm gone for one hour, run to the grocery store, come home. And she's standing on the porch with my baby, who, upon seeing me, just starts screaming. And Matilda looks at me screaming, screaming. And I'm like, hey, what's going on? And I'm holding, like, four bags of groceries and all this shit for Father's Day. And she's like, Levi had an accident. And he pooped himself. And I'm like, I'm sorry, what? She's like, yeah, he's been potty trained since he was, you know, two. He's almost four. And I'm like, what do you mean he pooped himself? She's like, he's just, he's up in the tub. He just pooped himself. And I'm like, I'm sorry, what? My kid's, like, up in the tub by himself? What are you talking about? I was going to say, like, first question. Why are you fucking chilling on the motherfucking porch with my crying baby? So
run upstairs and levi's like the water's like up to his fucking neck with like shit swimming the water's running shit floating all over the top yes guys the water is running up so high with poop everywhere and he's splashing around in his poop with all his fucking bath toys and then she walks up and is standing in the doorway with my crying baby and i'm just fucking paralyzed like don't yell at her don't yell at her don't yell at her don't yell at him what the fuck is going on right now all you say is thank you so much i'm gonna call you to talk about this later you can go home i just i need to talk to my son who's swimming in his shit and you know was levi okay like did he Was it an upsetting experience? No, he did it on purpose, and that's a whole different story, but it was fucked up.
Failing it. Failing it. Failing it. Failing it. Wow. Fuck. That story is giving me the shivers. Shivers. I'm so fucking mad. Okay. That's like some hand that rocked the cradle shit, Chrissy. You need to fucking go by this bitch's house and throw a brick through her window now. No. She ain't getting hired again. Not by the Coltons. Can you give her a real reveal or something? She ain't getting hired by the Coltons. That means she ain't getting hired by anybody in that town. Okay. We're wrapping this up. Thank you guys so much for listening. Check us out on iTunes and please go and give us a review. Don't spend all your money in one place.
Don't tell your husband. Okay. I'm saving for college. Bye.