What up, Mom? Put down that coffee and grab a wine. Get ready for another episode of Nursing and Cursing, a parenting podcast that covers more shit than your baby's full diaper. I'm Kate. I'm a stay-at-home mom of three in Brooklyn, New York. I'm trying to figure out whether I should go back to work, have another baby, or spend the rest of my life waiting for my fresh direct order. Hey, I'm Christine, a video editor and a mom of two living in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Allie here, podcasting up in the mountains in South Kona, Hawaii. I work as a real estate agent and a mom of two boys. Hey, I'm Molly. I'm a teacher raising two kids in St. Augustine, Florida. And I'm Sarah, a new mom to one sweet babe living in Brooklyn, New York. Between five busy households, it's a miracle we make it on the mic at all.
But trust me, we need this as much as you do. Hey, guys. We're back. It's Nursing and Cursing. And we are here to discuss vacations with kids. Oh, hey, guys. They suck. Goodbye. Yeah. They suck so hard.
There's no silver lining up in this episode. No, there's not. You know what though? Like none of us, maybe if Kate were on, which Kate and I are not here today. Kate is celebrating her husband, Jeremy's birthday. Happy birthday, JJ. Happy birthday, JJ. And Allie is celebrating her birthday on a little family trip right now, having a mini vacation with her family. Hopefully finding some kind of pleasure in that. Happy birthday, Allie. Thank you. Happy birthday, everybody. Sorry, Sarah. What were you going to say?
uh oh i was gonna say that kate's um got wilder who's a little bit older so it might still be kind of fun to have a vacation with him but she also has the little ones so they're still ruining it they're still ruining it they're ruining it i mean yeah i feel like once they get to ipad age where they like really can be engrossed in the ipad it's definitely a game changer yes but like that crawling phase where you're on the plane and they just want to move and they're walking and crawling is absolute hell it's hell but and even that like the plane ride sucks and we've gone through that before but you will get to the other side and then it's once you get there you know what what was a vacation before your kids used to be honestly I don't even remember you guys before your kids it's relaxing it's awesome you are so you're chilling with kids you're not chilling it's work it's the complete opposite a vacation with kids is more work because you're on the whole day you don't have school or babysitters rolling by or daycare it is all in all day all the time And I know, okay, so all of our vacations are taken to see family, period, end of story. Right. So we go one big trip every summer up to New Hampshire, and we usually meet Allie and her family there. Last summer, Tim didn't come with me, so it was me and the two kids, and I know I talked about this a little bit. So I'm meeting Allie up there, and she's got her husband and the two kids. Okay, now it's coming back to me. Our vacations together used to just be sister time, and it's so valuable to me. And now we don't finish a conversation ever.
No, you cannot finish a conversation. It's just like real life but in an uncomfortable place, like not your normal environment. Right. But still your whole life is with you. We usually rent a room out of a motel. Our uncle has a sweet motel up in New Hampshire and right near the ocean there. So we have little kitchenettes. And that's the other thing about when we travel with kids, it does not feel comfortable to just dine out for every meal. Whereas if we were alone, I'd love to just like pop around.
Try this and that. But it just, that gets wicked expensive. Expensive. They don't eat it anyway and then they act like assholes in the restaurants. It's not fun. Right. And being given the opportunity to have a little kitchenette in our room every summer just puts the pressure on. It's like, okay, you now have to spend time grocery shopping. There needs to be a set time that you grocery shop every week. Okay, suddenly I'm at home. Not a vacation at all. I'm like rummaging through to see if I can get some reusable bags, you know, running in and out of my sister's room. Like, did you get the eggs? I forgot the eggs. Oh, my God. Do you guys share a room with the kids on this trip or do you have your own?
space yes we share a room with our kids on this trip because they're usually one room motels gotcha there are a couple of units and ali did get one this summer where she had her own bedroom in her so i would like go and hang out in their main space but i can't i can't share a room with my kids i won't do it I can't. I can't and I won't. They don't sleep. We don't sleep. Nobody sleeps. It's not fun. I won't do it. I will not do it. And on that note, guys, I do need to pause for a sponsor break after letting you know how I won't chill with my kids. Tonight, you guys. I won't do it, you guys. Okay. I want to talk to you guys tonight about Minted. Do you guys ever get holiday cards from your friends that are really beautiful and cool and you're like, how the hell did they have time to do this? Why are these so perfect? Yes, every single year. Every year, right? Okay, guys. That's an episode. That is an episode. I feel guilt. I'm like, wait, how the hell? Anyway.
Guys, this holiday season, we could be those people that look like they have their shit together with Minted.com. Okay. This is really awesome. So what you do is you take a picture on your phone that you love and you text it to cards. C-A-R-D-S 22737. And Minted texts you right back. And they ask you a couple of questions. They ask you card style categories. So I had texted back that I liked minimalist, that I liked traditional, that I liked a little modern vibes. Okay. After that, I get a text back of that picture in like four different.
card scenarios like four different designs and it is so awesome it texts you options and then you get to pick out the one you want and then you just go online and buy it it's so easy that sounds very fun it's very fun so I chose this picture of Matilda and Levi on the beach and he's hugging her and she's screaming crying and the person texted me back this hilarious card with the writing that says it's a wonderful life um done and done totally got it they came in the mail they're so nice you guys they look beautiful and start to finish 10 minutes max not even love it um anyway So cool. So minted.com is the only place to get a truly unique holiday card by simply texting them a picture from your phone. This is not off-the-shelf, one-size-fits-all templated holiday cards. All the designs are created by independent artists and voted on by thousands of tastemakers, giving you the very best in independent design. So text a photo to CARDS22737 and minted stylists will text you back with five hand-selected designs showing your photo for you to choose from for free. You get free custom envelopes and free recipient addressing in a variety of matching designs and hand-styled fonts. And all orders are 100% guaranteed.
So, you guys, take advantage of this. Text your photo to Cards22737. New customers will get 20% off, but only through November 30th. Text your photo to 22737 before November 30th and get 20% off your first purchase. Get started right now. Text your picture to 22737. Love you, Chrissy. Thank you.
Okay. Anyway. I can't wait to order from Minted. You know, one year when I was single, I sent out holiday cards. It's the only time ever in my life that I've sent out holiday cards. And it was just of my cat in a Santa suit. Fuck you right now. Fuck you very much. What the fuck is wrong with me? You said that to me because you knew what would happen. You've never sent a Christmas card with Frances, but you've done one of Wednesday.
It wasn't Wednesday. At the time, it was beans. You are a cat whore. Okay. It's a different episode. You know, what would have happened is we wouldn't be on this podcast right now because you and I wouldn't be friends. Oh, fuck you. Okay, so guys, speaking of sleep and vacations. Worse. Kitty, you won't even sleep in the room with your kids. How about the fact that you can't even go out and explore wherever you are because of naps? The worst. You're like, oh, cool. I'll just be tied to my house from 12 to 3. Thanks. Oh, yeah. I rented this Airbnb, but I'll stay home because she has to sleep. Totally. But it's like you also can't go out at night because you can't sleep.
Leave your kids in the room and hope for the best. You can get a sketchy babysitter and just pray. Pray on it. Yeah. Guys, well, here's something fucked up. So when I had been with Garrett for a few years, his mom would always be like, oh my gosh, I'm saving for my 60th birthday. I mean, this was like when she was 55. Saving for my 60th. I'm taking everybody to Italy. It's going to be a five-star trip. The nicest hotels. Flying first class. She's going to take you? Yes. She's like, I'm taking the whole family. It's going to be no kids, just grown-ups. Five-star experience. I'm saving now. Whatever. Years, guys. Years in the making. Well.
flash forward and it's her 60th and Matilda's one month old and everybody's got their fancy tickets booked at their beautiful dream hotels guys I'm talking dream trip like never in my life will I ever be able to go on a trip like this and this was all happening everybody in the family's going and so it was no kids allowed and she said okay well you can bring Matilda since she's like a month old and she's just gonna be on you but Levi can't come um I couldn't do it you guys I could not leave Levi behind like oh we just have a new sister now we're leaving you and taking her to Italy and I had to miss out on a dream vacation because of kids hashtag because of dot dot dot kids kids so i hear you you have to like make really adult decisions too like right there's consequences like if you want to go on a trip without your kids there's so many fucking logistics like i'm going on a trip to colorado this week by myself excuse you excuse me i know i know and the prep right now is insane insane so excited for this trip me too so excited but i'm paying for it in prep work of course you are when we go when we go on a trip um
It's so funny because I'm supposed to be talking about my family vacation, but it always comes back to my time with my sister. All we want to do the entire time is break away and just go to a couple of antique shops and get a latte. It's the entire goal of the trip, or switch that latte out for just a Dunkin's. The whole trip is basically working around trying to figure out how to do it, and then we end up going out for 45 minutes in a three-week period. Why not get a sitter?
Um, I don't, I mean, we are in a family, we are in a town full of family and they will take them, but it all has to line up. There's like car situations, logistics, logistics. It's just not, I can't explain it, Sarah. It's every single year. You guys do the same thing every single year. Oh my God. What about like for my kids? I know, or for Levi, at least any vacation equals presents, presents, ice cream, snacks, snacks, presents, presents, but every day, all day.
Like I am going to turn into brats. I've had TV all the shit all day. It's like every day is a new day of where's my presence? Where's my cookie? Where's my fill in the blank? Can't clean the motel room unless the iPad is involved.
Oh, well, I can tell you guys, like I had the experience of having like Tim and I, before we had Francis, we went on the same vacation once a year to Mexico. We went to the same place, stayed in the same, we like routine and consistency. So stay in the same room. I'm all about that. So like once you find your jam, I switch it up. I know what I'm getting. Right. Why switch it up? Because I might end up with something like the room smells like a cigarettes or whatever. And then I have to deal with that. So no, I'm going to anyway. So we go to the same place and.
This was like, you know, we would book this trip like a year in advance and look forward to it for the whole year. And like if the trip is in June, then we can start looking forward to it for real around Christmas. So it's a constant source of like, okay, there's a light at the end of this tunnel, like working tunnel basically. And so, you know, flash forward to after Frances, and we'd always dreamed of bringing her there because it's our like retreat from life. And it was just awful. It wasn't until maybe.
by the time like when we when we brought her there she was what just over a year or something yeah she wasn't quite walking yet so she was still crawling around um But it wasn't until maybe two months before the trip that I started going like, wow, it just seems like Mexico's not going to be that fun this year. And Tim was trying to be really positive about it. And this is our chance to relax. It's going to be great. She's such a chill baby. And she is. We're very lucky. But it really doesn't matter for all the reasons that we've already expressed in this episode. But also, it's Mexico. So you have sunscreen, your own body, somebody else's back, and then a whole other human. And she's so fair.
Yeah, so you've got to be really vigilant about it. But it's not just sunscreen. It's also like, you know, a hat. Try to get a baby to wear sunglasses. Oh, the gear, the gear, the gear. You need a whole other bag. Yeah, you need a crib. Yeah, right, all that. Okay, Sarah, hold off one second. I've got to take a quick sponsor break. Okay. You guys, we have a really exciting new sponsor that all of us are stoked on because these people are doing something totally revolutionary with birth control access in the U.S. And, you know, it's about damn time someone did. They're called Simple Health, and they're here to make your health care really simple.
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If you're a lady, it's going to save you tons of time and money. So just get on it. It's pretty awesome. Really cool. Thanks, Molly. Guys, I just realized something else about vacationing with kids. Every time we vacation, somebody gets sick. I'm talking like the day we leave. So true. Every time. Every time. Every fucking time. We're leaving everybody sick. So you're packing like the Nose Frida, saline spray, Tylenol, the thermometer, like all the gear for sickness. What is that? How do they know? And none of the things. No more cute outfits for your summer vacation. It's like whatever could fit in the bag after everybody else got packed.
Yeah, who has time to think about looking adorable? No, I haven't looked cute in a vacation pic in years. It's over. Okay, side note. I used to pack like...
nice looking lingerie for my trips to Mexico with Tim. And you damn well know that's not happening anymore. Would you pack like your granny panties, your sweatpants? Well, yeah, now I do. But before I would do something like a high waist, but absolutely high waisted for sure. Yeah. Okay. Well, my version of lingerie is so G rated. Did you have sex on your Mexico trip this time around? That was my question. Did you have sex again trip? Sex? What? Sexico. We used to call it sexico and now no. Yeah. Yeah. We basically did.
Basically? What does that mean? It's like you fingered each other? Yeah, I fingered it. That's fun. She's not going to answer what that means. I think that means oral. Oral? Dry home. I'm not sure. Kissing? It absolutely means oral. Pretty smart. She gets her own room. You have to have your own room. Guys, sometimes that means putting a kid in the bathroom or a closet, but having your own space is your own space. Yeah, I hear that. Or once they're asleep, they're asleep, if you know what I mean. Totally. It's hard to have a convo, watch a movie, finger each other, whatever.
We went into the bathroom for that. Oh, shit. That's awesome. Wow. It was a rather large bathroom. That's cool. I wouldn't have taken that step. I would have been like, forget it. We'll just do it another time. Oh, I'm so, I took a cushion. Like it was a big couch cushion from the couch in the room and I brought it into the bathroom. That is amazing. You did well with it. You laid it on the floor. Yeah. Like that's, that's where the action was happening. Oh my God. You guys like dim the bathroom lights. I would have been like more of like run the bubble bath. Cause I know those hotels are so nice. No, it wasn't at a hotel. It's a, it's a palapa.
I don't know what that is. It's like a grass, it's like grass roof. Um, it's like a traditional Mexican, like hot looking thing. I'm just a little bummed you're like putting the couch on the dirty floor and then like getting your fluids on the couch as well. That's nobody's business but theirs. I know, but I'm just saying like when I'm thinking about a couch. I put that on a towel. That's thoughtful. That's thoughtful.
That's cool. Wow. Thank you so much. Good for you, man. That's inspiring. That is inspiring. I'm dedicated to comfort. Put the baby's crib in the bathroom. Sarah's like, no, just move your man into the bathroom. Guys, I have put Matilda's pack and play in the bathroom. I can't believe I'm about to say this. You know I've had a glass of wine. This is embarrassing. Because she wakes easily, I've peed in a cup.
Because sleep is your trigger. You do anything to not have Matilda wake up. Always. It's always been my trigger. I'm obsessed with it. So yeah, I put my kids back and play in the bathroom and then I'll like handle it however I need to. Oh, absolutely. By all means necessary.
What? Sounds like a really great vacation. Peeing in a cup is so stressful. The end. Vacations with kids, exactly. Everybody knows, every parent knows that you come back from vacation looking like shit, so wrecked. Yeah, you need a vacation from the vacation. But then you get back and everybody's like, oh my God, did you have such a great time? What are you supposed to say? You just kind of say yes because it's like, what are you going to do, bitch about it?
Because the truth is we would all go back and do it again because we want to give our kids the experience. You know, we're like hustling to get out, have the activities and you just want to kick back when you're on vacation. But those days are over now. You have to kind of like make a day for them. And I remember seeing Tim in the Jacksonville airport after last summer. I was coming off the plane with the two kids and he was waiting for us. And I just felt like I was coming home from battle or something. Like I just cracked in his arms. I'm so happy to see you. Yeah. Take over. But it is still awesome. I mean.
We still do it, you know? Yep. It's awesome. It's awesome. And I'm just queuing up my nail fail, hold, and action. Yes, here it is. Also, I think I just came up with a new t-shirt slogan, dedicated to comfort. I'm floating that idea. Love it, Sarah. Dedicated to comfort. Okay. I like it.
Love it. All right, who's going up? Maybe it's my wine. You guys don't seem to be really catching on to that. I didn't get it, Sarah. I didn't get it, but you might seem to be later on the text. Oh, my God. Do you get it? I got it. I totally got it. She's dedicated to comfort. Oh, okay. In the bathroom. Yeah. In Mexico? No, just like in her life. She's dedicated to comfort. Just in fucking general. Imagine walking around with a T-shirt that says dedicated to comfort. It's like you're really letting the world know who you are. The most important thing logo. Yeah.
All right. Okay, guys, I got one. I'm going to call my nail is quick, but it worked this year. I told Augie that from now on you get trick-or-treating. You get as many pieces of candy as you are old. So that would mean four. And he totally went for it. And he was psyched on it. And I just dumped the rest in the trash, aka ate half of it first. And he didn't look back. Brilliant. So you guys didn't switch this year? No, I've never switched. Oh.
Did you switch which? Yeah, the switch which. Wait, whose idea was the switch which? The switch which is just a thing. Okay. I thought one of you suggested it. I think I did because you told me about it and I did it twice. People here are doing it too. I'd be pissed if I were Chrissy right now. I'm like, I totally thought that was your deal. No, it's awesome. I mean, I did the same thing. Gave him like four pieces of candy and then the switch which came. So he kind of got a double doozy. Wait, did you do it again this year? Yeah.
Oh, no, it was awesome. And then I really just put out his bag of candy to let the kids take it. And he saw and he fell to the floor crying. Now the switch, which isn't going to come. They ate her candy.
Oh, my God. Levi, I love you. So sensitive. And, yeah, I'm just going to leave it as a nail this week. That's all I got for you guys. I have a fail button. I'll save it. Okay. Well, I'm going to give you guys a fail. The other day I was laying on the couch fubbing and Levi was playing Legos on the coffee table. My whole house is like a Lego factory. And he goes, hey, Mom, Mom, I have a question. How come sometimes, like, my penis is really short and then other times it's, like, really big? Like, guys, he's talking so fast. He's like, when I'm playing Legos, like, it's really big and it's, like, really hard. Like, Mom, do you want to see it? It's really big. No, no, no. Yes.
And I froze up. I was texting you guys and I didn't know how to respond. So I didn't look up. I like acted like I didn't hear it for a minute because I was trying to not laugh really hard. And I was texting you guys and I just fucking froze. Guys, I didn't realize these talks had to come at age four. No. So he is basically saying. Why do Legos give me a boner? So the translation is why do Legos give me a boner? Yes, exactly. And then finally, I think I was texting you guys. Guys, Levi's asking me why.
penis is big when he plays legos and i just looked up he's like mom can you see do you want to see it you see how it's really big right now like why is it really big when i play legos and i just said i just think you're really happy and your body's just letting you know you feel really happy right now and he's like huh weird and then he just went back he just went back to playing it yeah and he so wow this is so this is so good pretty i wonder if our listeners are going to relate like does anybody oh my god absolutely and then he said he said and then the rest of the day it's usually pretty short he kept calling it short It's pretty short. Oh, man. Where's Garrett when you need him? Oh, he was, I don't even know. He's like, buddy, me too. Me too when I play Legos. Me too. Legos make me so hard. Did you tell Garrett? Obviously you did. What did he say? We just died laughing. We had a good hard laugh. It's so funny. So he didn't have any genius ideas for how to not delete? No. God, no. I mean, I don't know. Do you guys have any ideas? What else could I have said? I mean, I- No, you nailed it. Yeah, I think that's really good. Oh, and then he gave me a hug, guys. He said, thanks, mom, and gave me a hug.
By the way. Oh, my God. Huge nail. Yeah, it was sweet. What a sweetie. But I did pause for a minute and I'm so worried you saw me laughing. I was just so taken aback by the whole thing. For sure. Anyway, I'll let it. You never saw that coming. Couldn't have seen it coming, you guys. Not from a million miles away. You got anything, Sarah? Yeah. Actually, I got a pretty good fail. Let's see. I think. Okay.
Well, it's kind of boring. Frances's first sentence was, I don't want it. What? She had a sentence? She had a sentence. Now she just repeats it all the time. I don't want it. I don't want it. I don't want it. Keep saying that, girl. Keep going through your life saying it loud. Saying it loud, girl. Yeah, that's right. Speak your truth. Okay, anyway, so my big nail, my big huge nail is that I quit my job today. Excuse you? I did. I quit my job. Let's just note this is coming off of last episode.
uh, back to work. Oh my God. Did, um, that conversation spark anything for you? Well, it was a good conversation for me to be having cause I was already contemplating quitting and, um, and you know, I just, I mean, you guys heard me, I was just talking about wanting to find something that I felt good about leaving Francis to do. And I still want to be a working mom cause I want to be an example to her. Like not that a woman who could do it all, but like a person who enjoys being in the world and, and, um, being with other people.
And that's what I want my job to be. And right now my job has been just like doing research by myself in a cubicle. And it's just been super painful. And I made the decision last week. And I talked to Tim about it. And I made a plan. And I went in there today. And I had a lot of diarrhea from my anxiety. I was very scared. Very, very scared to have this conversation with my mentor. And she was super kind about it. Very understanding. That's great.
you know afterwards I sent her my resignation letter and she um said something nice back that like I'd be welcome back to work there anytime oh which probably isn't true but like you know she was being kind which I really appreciate and um and that was it like it was it was literally I was so scared to have this talk to like you know own my truth and like the only reason like real reason that I had for quitting was that I just like I didn't like my job which for so long I told myself that that's not in like a good enough reason that's awesome Actually, it's like a really good reason. Anyway, I just went in there and I did it and it took 10 minutes. That was it. I just said, like, this isn't working for me. It's just like dating, you know? Like, nobody has to take it personally. It's just not a good fit if it doesn't work out. Should I do it too? Yes. I absolutely think that. But yeah, that episode last week definitely stirred it up for me too. I was just like, hmm.
I miss my baby. I miss her little fingers. Okay. Wow, Sarah. Congratulations. Huge nail. Huge nail. What am I going to do next? I do have to have a job. Okay. It's going to happen. Go get it, sister. That's right. You guys, thank you so much for joining us this week. Molly, you got to tell everybody how Miracle is doing after her tubes. She's doing awesome. She bounced back in like three hours. All good. Thank you for checking in. Yeah. Thank you guys for listening this week.
Leave us a review on iTunes. That would be super sweet. And come through our Instagram page at nursing and cursing and learn about our new merch, you guys. We got t-shirts. We got coffee cups. We got tank tops. We got onesies. Check it out. You guys asked for it, so we got it going. All right. We'll see you guys next week. Bye, guys. That's it for now. Check you guys next week for another nursing and cursing where we won't tell your husband that you accidentally let your kid eat a cat turd.