What up, mom? Put down that coffee and grab a wine. Get ready for another episode of Nursing and Cursing, a parenting podcast that covers more shit than your baby's full diaper. I'm Kate. I'm a stay-at-home mom of three in Brooklyn, New York. I'm trying to figure out whether I should go back to work, have another baby, or spend the rest of my life waiting for my fresh direct order. Hey, I'm Christine, a video editor and a mom of two living in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Allie here, podcasting up in the mountains in South Kona, Hawaii. I work as a real estate agent and a mom of two boys. Hey, I'm Molly. I'm a teacher raising two kids in St. Augustine, Florida. And I'm Sarah, a new mom to one sweet babe living in Brooklyn, New York. Between five busy households, it's a miracle we make it on the mic at all.
But trust me, we need this as much as you do. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Nursing and Cursing. Ladies, good evening. Hey, guys. Hello. Good afternoon. Yeah, okay. All these different time zones. Listen, you guys, I wanted to bring up the topic this week, something that I feel like we've all had a little experience with. You know, when I say it with a little bit of guilt, sadness, anger, look, a lot of feelings come through with this. But the topic is postpartum husband hatred.
Ooh. Good one. Great topic. Can you relate? Who can't? Even people who've never had a baby. Not true. Can so relate. Can so relate to that. I mean, and you know, there's a lot of feelings that happen after that baby is born. And Kurti, I would say you are the most fresh from.
from the battles um seeing as though you know you have what is he eight months now so sleep deprivation was not that long ago right that is correct we're just kind of coming out of that in the last couple months and yeah i'd say the first three months i loved my husband more than i had ever loved him before and then there was just a switch to where i couldn't even look at him everything he would say i would just be filled with rage the way he would chew his food i mean everything sent me through the roof i couldn't even look at him and that lasted for about six weeks Oh, wow. That's a short period, I want to say. Well, now it's like every – I want to say six years in my case. But now it's like every other day. But this was like six solid weeks of, oh my God, what have I done? I chose the wrong partner. Right. You know what I mean? And then it went away and now I'm just annoyed every few hours. But this was like six solid weeks of like get out of my face. Like how are we going to get through this? How am I going to do it forever? How? Right. How are we going to figure out custody when we get a divorce? Exactly. I was already thinking of divorce. Totally. Yep. But yeah, you know, we made it to the other side. Right. Yeah. We call it the dark ages in my household when we look back on those times.
Yeah, there were some things thrown. There were a lot of tears and just also as a working mom, like I look back, I have no idea how I got through that. I don't know. No clue. It's the dark ages. Yeah, no, it plunges you into, my friend described it as just mutual low-grade depression for a year after their baby was born. Loved the baby, just hated each other. Now for a quick sponsor break. Mother's Day is May 12th, you guys. Do you have any special plans? I think I'm probably going to spend it with some of my mom friends and their children, our children, and we'll probably have a meal together or something fun. Did you guys buy any Mother's Day gifts yet? I did write my mom a long note, but I think I would like something to add to it.
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Exactly. Right. And they're fine. They have two kids now. Oh, yeah. It has nothing to do with your actual relationship. I mean, let's face it. You're not sleeping during that time period. And that is literally a form of torture. So if somebody is going to take sleep away from you, at least you, because let's face it, a lot of times your husband is just out like a light, snoring like a little baby. Oh, my God. That's it, though. Allie, you just nailed it. I feel like that is the seed that the rage grows from. He's sleeping while you're up. There you go.
And then when he says, babe, let me take the baby, you go do you. You go to take a shower and then you hear, let's see what mommy's doing. Mommy's in the shower. Say hi, mommy. Get the hell out of here. It's my time. Mommy's crying in the shower. She wants to be left alone right now. Mommy's drinking wine in the shower. Get the hell out of the bathroom right now. Mommy's texting about you on the toilet. Go away. Mommy's washing herself for the first time in about nine days. Exactly. Oh my gosh. You guys, I remember one time during the dark ages.
I'm in there in the middle of the night, um, bouncing that baby after I had just nursed him and I'm doing the whole in his ear, trying to, you know, whisper him back to sleep and FTP first time parent. Like I got the best quads during that time was I totally thought like it was my duty to do deep squats. Yes. If the second baby ever comes. Nope. Nope. Anyway. So I'm like doing that in the middle of the night, feeling the rage just start up. And he, Tim is just like,
having a slumber in the blankets and it's not like he's not a helper he's always been right by my side for everything but in this particular moment i just that fire in the belly came up and i'm bouncing i'm bouncing i'm like you know what fuck the shit and i had such a feeling to just like bash him over the head so instead i just did like a running start and kicked the bed as hard as i could no no yeah and he's like what what what did you just kick the bed and i was like what why would i kick the bed Why would I keep the fucking bed? You denied it. And you just sold yourself out. This is the first time I've ever come clean about it. So hopefully he won't listen to this one, which let's get really doesn't listen to any of them. He'll fast forward through and just listen to pieces. Yeah. Yeah. Rage. Tears. I mean, so many tears. Not just from you or the baby. When we came home from the hospital. I mean, I didn't know Jeremy. I didn't know Wilder. We got home. FYI, listeners, we had been together for 10 months after Wilder was born.
Wow. So you got pregnant three months into dating him. Right. Got together for Halloween. Had some turkey at Thanksgiving. We're pregnant by Christmas. Hanukkah for my husband. God help you. Wow. Yeah. You've got to blame it on the holidays. It's just you're drinking. You're having good treats. It was. Seriously, it was. You're having unprotected sex. That's exactly it. It's cozy inside the apartment. It's no outside. Okay, but you know what? At least three months. I mean, that's like the honeymoon stage, though. So at least it was kind of like, baby, oh, my God.
We were just so stupid. I mean, we were just so dumb. Like, I mean, whatever. When we found out we were pregnant, we were like, oh, shit. But it was like, shit. And then like a bunch of LOLs. We were not appreciating the severity of our situation at all. It's just so dumb. Wow. Can I interrupt just for a minute? Sure.
I was having real internet problems. So I'm actually at a coffee shop. They've closed down. I'm in the back recording this. This is the same place. Good for you, Hawaii. This is the same place, Molly, where I went into the bathroom and took a pregnancy test. Oh, yeah. I was pregnant right here in this coffee shop. So full circle. Okay, go ahead. Full circle. Whatever. So we had the baby, obviously. And the pregnancy was sort of a blur.
Did you guys move in together during the pregnancy? I'm trying to remember. We were on permanent sleepover at his apartment. He lived by himself. We were on permanent sleepover. And then like three months before the baby was born, we moved in together.
Which was not even significant at all because we're about to have a baby. I don't even remember a conversation about living together. It was like a duh. And whatever. We had the baby five weeks early. We brought Wilder home from the hospital. And you know, you are euphoric that you delivered a baby, that you're healthy and the baby's healthy. And then I don't know about you guys, but two days later, I was just like, what the fuck is even going on right now? Where is this baby's mom?
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For you, for 20 bucks off, visit storyworth.com slash nail when you subscribe. Again, the questions are so cool. For instance, they might ask, what was the country like when you were a child? It's amazing. Again, 20 bucks off, visit storyworth.com slash nail. Thank you. I can't explain it to you. The permanency of the choice that I had made was overwhelming. I was just staring at Wilder at home and I was just thinking, I don't even know you. And I was looking up at Jeremy and I was like in a cold sweat, like, fuck, I don't even know you either. Like, I'm just stuck in an apartment.
with two fucking guys I don't know and I'm going to be here forever. I was like, I couldn't get a read on Jeremy. That's like postpartum boyfriend hatred. Postpartum baby daddy hatred. Exactly. Couldn't even like get a read on Jeremy. He was really quiet. And don't forget, barely knew each other. So not really great at picking up what was going on for him. And he was putting on a really brave face. And he was like, okay, I'm in a shaky voice. Like, I think I'm just going to go for a run. And I was like, you just go. Fuck you then. Just go do you. Just go for a fucking run. Must be so great. And he came back like 20 minutes later, not sweaty, but moist.
I was like, did you run? But not even a kind, like a snarl. Did you run? As I'm like holding water, like a sack of potatoes with just a scowl on my face. And my poor, soon-to-be husband was like, oh, no, I didn't run. I don't know. I just like got outside and kind of cried.
And actually it was great. It was great because I was like, cool, because I just fucking feel like crying too. And it was a moment of, it was okay. I'm like, oh, you get me. We get each other. Well, of course, at first I was like, oh, you had some privacy to go cry by yourself outside. That must have felt great. Must be nice, buddy. Must be nice. But big picture, I was like, all right, well, this dude's scared and he's still here. So let's just fucking do this one diaper at a time.
Yeah, and that's what it is. And there you go. Three kids later, baby. Three kids later. Hashtag three deep. Yeah, I didn't, I mean, honestly, I wouldn't, okay, listeners should kind of know where we're coming from if you're just jumping into this podcast. We are all located in different cities. Well, we have Hawaii. Allie's in Hawaii. Kate is in Brooklyn. And Christine and I are in Los Angeles. Allie and I are sisters. Allie told me, she warned me of this. And I really remember just being,
Well, just, you know, I had rose-colored glasses, and it's awesome, and that's how every woman should. But she said you will go through a period where you will look at each other and hate each other. I remember that morning as well, and I thought, nah, me and Garrett, no way. No way, no way. And that's why I say it is not about your husband, and it's not about you. It's not about your weakness in your relationship. It's not. It's about a time period that you must travel through as a parent, I feel like, right? Yeah, it's sleep deprivation. It's hormonal. It's nasty is what it is, but you will get through it. And, you know, guys, maybe there's women out there that are like, yeah, I didn't go through that, which never happened to them.
I haven't either. So maybe I wonder if women who live really close to family and get a ton of help experience this. Bingo. That could be. I don't know. No, I know those. Okay. I know. Well, I mean, whatever. I know a couple of them. I've never met a woman who doesn't hate her husband. Well, it's also – And, you know, Al, you've said this before, but that first year of the baby's life is so mother-centric, right? And there's – the father, I just feel like it's just part of nature, is not the provider in that way. No, it's not now.
And it's also like, what the fuck are you talking about? I just fucking carried the baby for 10 months. I just fucking went through that. I just was puking every single day. I was dealing with this, that, and the other thing. And now still? Like, are you kidding? Right. Seems like you should be able to tag out in the delivery room. Like, okay. Right. Next 10 months are on your baby. You don't ever tag out. I don't know. Kate, you said at like eight years old, finally get to tag out a little bit. Great. I wish I could give you some hope at the end of the tunnel, Al. Okay. Well, I mean, we've got so many. We're never tagging out. Right. I know.
I don't want to tag out you guys. I know that. Tag out. Just being completely all about mommy all the time. But no, it has to do with you are the baby's, in a lot of cases, if you're lucky, the baby's source of food and their life and well-being.
Even if you're not nursing, you're mama. You carry that baby. That baby's smelling you. That baby wants to be up on you. It just came from your womb. So it's mama, mama, mama for those first 12 months. For those 12 years, exactly. We also carry the scars of that literally. Like, I'm sorry.
I walk around with that scar every day and the bags under our eyes and under our boobs. You walk around, that scar every day, like those stretch marks on my hips or that scar on my vagina? What are we talking? We're talking the sacrosis on my ass. Okay, okay. Yeah, a little bit between my legs and a little bit on my face. Not to mention.
My boobs. I don't want to talk about it. What about wrinkled earlobes? When did that happen? Because I just caught it in the mirror and almost drove off the road. I'm not sure that has anything to do with it. I'm so glad you survived that. I don't know if that's what I mean. I would have hated to deliver that eulogy. Chrissy's last text was about her wrinkled earlobes, and we can only assume that that was the cause of her untimely death. Okay, so I wanted to check in this week before we sign off. Nailing it and failing it, what do you got for me?
You know, I'm sorry, Kate. Go ahead, honey. No, I cleaned out Mavis' car seat this week for the first time. Mavis' too, but we've had the car seat since 2011. And you're just now cleaning it? For the first time. So that was a nail and a fail at the same time? Simultaneous nailing and failing. Turned out to be blue. I always thought it was gray. Did you find any treasures? Oh, only things that would fucking turn your stomach. A cloud. It looked like I thought it was some sort of cotton ball, but it was just mold underneath it. It was blossoming ecosystem.
Okay, good. Good one. Anybody else nailing it, failing it? I have a pretty big failing it for today. I took Levi to the park eight months old. He's like currently stoked to stand on everything, just pull himself up and stand up. So he pulled himself up on this huge metal pole and then let go with one hand. It was just like chilling one-handed standing. And instead of supporting him, I decided to take a picture and send it to his father. Snapped the picture. He completely ate shit and slammed his head on the pole and has a huge knot and just screamed forever. And it was super embarrassing. I looked like the worst parent ever.
I hope so many people saw you do that. So many people did see me doing it and shamed me. Just gave me a look of shame. And I just, I went straight home. And I don't have a nailing it. To upload that pic, I hope. Oh, as soon as I got in the car, I did text it to his dad. Followed by a huge wealth in his head. My bad.
Anyway, that's all I got. Yeah, it'll happen. My nailing it is he's still alive. Nailed it. Nailed it. I have been nailing it and failing it. Nailing it, we invited much of like an exchange student from Europe to come over and get a Hawaii experience and help with our kids for a short period of time. And she's lovely. So nailing it there. Failing it, she, through a little bit of broken English, has taught my son how to say shop. No. Failing it. No, Allie.
But he's bilingual now. It's fine. Yeah. You're still nailing it. Yeah. Did he tell you to shut up? Okay. He actually told her to shut up. Well, then it's full circle. It's comfortable. Yes, exactly, Molly. All right, guys. Well, thank you so much for joining us this week for Nursing and Cursing. And that is it for now. We'll see you next week for another episode where sleep is more valuable than fast, hard cash, if you ask us. Good night, ladies. Good night, girls. Bye.
that's it for now we'll see you guys next week for another episode of nursing and cursing where we know you set up that instagram shot for 15 minutes because no one's kitchen is that clean that clean that clean