S2 Ep 6: Why Does It Take So Long to Get Over Feeling Hurt?

Taking control of how we feel is a choice All kinds of things happen in our lives that make us feel one way or another. Not all feelings are the product of outside influences and happenings. But enough are that we need to consider how they affect us. The impact is just as variable as they themselves are. Sometimes that emotion lasts and lingers – good or bad. Whatever the case may be, how long we allow it to be there is up to us. We have ultimate control of our feelings. Hurt is not a singular emotion – it’s a blend Hurt involves a combination of sadness, anger, uncertainty, fear, and other similar emotions. Allow me to break this hurt down into its constituent parts. ·        Sadness because someone didn’t care to validate my feelings. ·        Anger because it feels like they were selfish. ·        Uncertainty because I question if it was something I did to cause it. ·        Fear – because what if this happens again and I suffer even more? ·        Other similar emotions that come and go and I can’t hold onto them long enough to name them. I know how they feel, but not necessarily what they are. Not everyone feels hurt in the same way that I do. There is no One True Way™. But to my knowledge, hurt is always an amalgam of multiple feelings. That’s why it lingers as it does. Mindfulness gives us insight to action It is with mindfulness that we can look at a feeling like hurt and gain insight into the what and how of it. What is the hurt? How did it come about? What feelings is it producing? How are we acting as a result of that? Recognize and acknowledge it’s okay to feel hurt There are any number of messages we receive that tell us feeling hurt makes us weak. That we should get over it already and let it go. Feeling hurt is utterly natural and does not make anyone at all weak. Why does getting over feeling hurt take so long? Because hurt is a complex blend of thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness makes us consciously aware – self-aware - and practical mindfulness helps us in the process of getting over feeling hurt. But it will take time. This week’s Applied Guidance for Mindfulness Tool: Is there something over which you have been feeling hurt for some time? Is that impacting other elements of your life? Even if this isn’t something you’re currently encountering, this tool can be employed when it happens to you in the future. Because it will. Here are 5 steps you can take to mindfully release feeling hurt. First – Identify what caused the hurt. Second – Name the feelings associated with the hurt - i.e., sadness, anger, uncertainty, fear, etc. Third – Let yourself feel the feelings you’re feeling – but be mindful of them. Fourth – Write it all out Fifth – Decide to let go and release the hurt. Yes, this is easier said than done – and might take multiple attempts. But just making the effort has the effect of actively working to get over feeling hurt. Repeat each step as necessary. And remember – there is no shame in feeling hurt. But you do have a choice for how long you allow it to dominate you.   Author Website: https://mjblehart.com Email: [email protected] Instagram Twitter Facebook Blogs: titaniumdon.com and mjblehart.medium.com Cover artist Fe Mahoney: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TaliasInspirations