S4 E4: Competence as the Only Love Language Received
from From Zakhm to Shifa Hosted by Humera
Can you tell the difference between being loved and being relied upon? For some of us, the answer is genuinely no — because in the house we grew up in, love was real and enormous and almost never spoken. It came as food, as school fees, as worry dressed up as instruction. And a child in that house learns something quietly devastating: that being useful is the price of belonging. This episode sits with the woman who has never been praised for anything except what she produced. We look at why a quiet weekend or an empty inbox can produce something close to panic, how this shapes a marriage where she makes herself impossible to leave, and the friendships where she is valued but never checked on. Through the psychology of conditional regard and a careful return to what our faith actually teaches about mercy — that it comes before deeds and is never payment for them — we ask the question underneath it all: if I stopped being useful, would anyone stay? Hashtags (Up to 10) #fromzakhmtoshifa #conditionalregard #muslimwomen #peoplepleasing #emotionalhealing #selfworth #immigrantdaughters #overfunctioning #healingjourney #selfcompassion If this helped you, please leave a rating. It helps other women find us. More on this episode: fromzakhmtoshifa.pages.dev/episodes/s4e4/
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