S4 E8: Understanding Children's Emotions

In this episode, Ann and Kim talk about what’s really going on beneath children’s big emotions – and why the first step is almost always to regulate ourselves as parents. They unpack simple anchors like “connect before you correct” and the “regulate, relate, reason” flow to help you navigate those heated moments with more steadiness and care - concepts shared by the NHS who offered a wonderful workshop for parents. You’ll hear how dysregulation is a natural part of being human, how to spot it in yourself, and why co-regulation is so essential for children’s emotional development. Ann and Kim share practical ways to model emotional regulation, validate your child’s feelings while still guiding them, and create everyday pathways for learning these skills over time. This is a gentle, hopeful conversation for any parent or carer who wants fewer power struggles, more connection, and a reminder that emotional regulation is something we can all learn – together – as we go. Key Moments 00:30 — What the brain is doing when emotions run high 05:00 — Why children can’t self-regulate alone 09:00 — Noticing when we’re the dysregulated ones 16:00 — Why quiet doesn’t always mean calm 18:00 — The social shame of public meltdowns 21:30 — Personal signs of dysregulation 26:00 — What safety feels like in the body 30:00 — The “emptying out” image for being present 35:00 — Turning rupture into repair 38:00 — How co-regulation rewires safety in the brain Co-regulation • Parenting • Nervous system • Emotional regulation • Dysregulation • Safety • Connection • Polyvagal theory • Emotional literacy • Repair • Awareness • Family relationships • Trauma-informed parenting