What up, mom? Put down that coffee and grab a wine. Get ready for another episode of Nursing and Cursing, a parenting podcast that covers more shit than your baby's full diaper. I'm Kate. I'm a stay-at-home mom of three in Brooklyn, New York. I'm trying to figure out whether I should go back to work, have another baby, or spend the rest of my life waiting for my fresh direct order. Hey, I'm Christine, a video editor and a mom of two living in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Allie here, podcasting up in the mountains in South Kona, Hawaii. I work as a real estate agent and a mom of two boys. Hey, I'm Molly. I'm a teacher raising two kids in St. Augustine, Florida. And I'm Sarah, a new mom to one sweet babe living in Brooklyn, New York. Between five busy households, it's a miracle we make it on the mic.
at all, but trust me, we need this as much as you do. Ladies and gentlemen, what's up? We're back, bitches. Heyo. Heyo. Yeah, girls, how's everything going? Gosh, I'm missing Critty tonight. Missing her. Missing her, the four of us without our lady. But yeah, guys, tonight's topic is what do you do when your coworkers don't have kids? You are like the one who has kids.
Or, yeah, go ahead. Have we done an episode where you have friends that don't have kids? Or can we kind of lump those two together? I feel like we've wanted to do an episode of like what happens when you lose certain friends after you have a baby. We've done friends after kids. I know we've talked about friends after kids. Really? Yeah, because I talked about my friend Brian, who's even a closer friend now that I have kids. Okay, right. Yes.
So anyway, I don't know. Sarah, I know you can speak to this too. And I'm bummed Critty's not on because she has always worked with a bunch of men. And that's the other thing. Like if your boss is a man, it's not always, but sometimes you're kind of in trouble after you have a kid. You need those women around you. I didn't have that situation. My boss was a woman and I was surrounded by women when I had my first baby in that job. And a lot of them had children. Yeah. And I remember like.
having a really hard time in my pregnancy and, you know, doing yoga on my boss's floor. She just made a space for me. I could go in there anytime if I was like having trouble. So awesome. They were extremely supportive. And then I remember – And that's also smart because I feel like that's a job that you can handle going back to after you have a baby. It feels good to know that they were supportive. It sets you up to feel like you can come back. That's right. That's smart of them. There are some women though that like maybe they had children when they were young and now they're at an age maybe when they've forgotten what it's like or –
They just, they didn't have the same experience that you did maybe. And they just don't get it. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point, Sarah. They did it so long ago.
you know, there's a little bit of understanding there, but not much. Yeah. You're describing mom, Allie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also like pregnancy is such a, it's like a swimming pool. Like you're in or you're out. Like if you're not in the pool, you don't get it. You just don't, it's just not happening for you the same way. Like somebody can tell you how wet or cold it is, but okay. But once you're in the pool, it's all encompassing. Like it's a hundred percent of what's going on with you. And it can feel like, it's kind of like being a teenager again. Cause you can kind of feel like nobody.
understands what i'm going through right now right unless it's somebody who's very recently had a baby or another pregnant person and a man is so far away from that point of view that it's like okay we're speaking another language to each other buddy like aren't those those are the people who are always getting up and giving you a seat on the subway is the like recently pregnant woman or You know, sometimes it's a dad too who understands. But like often it's a woman who's childbearing age. I feel like when it's a guy, Sarah, it's just because he doesn't want to be posted on Instagram as being like a shitty subway creature. It's now time for a quick sponsor break. Okay, you guys remember breakfast cereal? Of course you do. We love cereal. Who doesn't? Sarah loves cereal. She's constantly eating it in the middle of the night. When I was growing up, breakfast cereal was one of the best parts of being a kid. But I grab cereal now on the shelf in the grocery store and I look at the back and say, no way. It's jam-packed with sugar. I can't eat that and I can't feed that to my kids. But you know, that makes breakfast boring.
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So Molly, you've probably had experiences maybe with colleagues that are younger that don't have children or especially as a teacher before you were, before you had kids, you probably had a whole different expectation of yourself and the things that you were accomplishing in a day and the way you were going about it. I was the teacher who was, before I had kids, I was the teacher who was shutting down the building. I would be there until six o'clock in a school that's late. Yeah, that's just, but I was, you know, my first years and just trying to hustle and try to learn it. But it wasn't, it's not even like people, it's nowadays it's affecting me more. Okay. And my kids are older. I got a six year old and a three year old. And it's simply like, yeah, when I leave the building, I'm going to my second job. And that's the part where like nobody.
not nobody because there's a couple of people with kids, but the people without kids don't, they don't give a shit for sure. And they don't get it. I don't think they get it. You know, like, Oh, I'll be like, Oh my God, what the fuck am I going to make for dinner? And like the person without kids is like, I know. I just like, I don't have groceries. I'm like, well, you can just get them. You take a subway on your way home. And you said that Allie, I can taste the freedom. Also, you just made me realize I could swing into subway with my kids. Why don't I do that more often? You need to.
You're not living your life right if you're not incorporating that. It's like an obvious dream. Oh, sorry, I'll go. I was just going to say, you know, if they don't have kids, they don't really care. And I was...
I'm in the middle of making some changes in my job right now, which is really exciting and really challenging and all of those things. And one of the changes I was making, I was going to possibly go to work for somebody. And I just wanted to explain where I'm coming from. I felt that it was so important to say, you know, listen, I'm not starting from the bottom here. And I am a 38 year old woman and I have two small kids. And that's like a huge part of who I am. And that's going to be a huge part of my job. It's like Molly said, that's my second job that I have to be at.
The person just kind of cut me off and was like, yeah, Allie, everybody has kids. Like, get over it, basically. Everybody has kids. And I was like, oh, my God. Okay. Wow. In one way, I was like, you're right. I need to, like, pull up my bootstraps and, like, get over that whole thing that I feel like holds me back. But also the colleague doesn't have any children. And so you saying that was like. The one who said that? Yes. Doesn't have any kids. Right. Right. Interesting perspective. Right.
So I don't know. It just kind of made me think and made me feel all kinds of different things. It makes me feel like I can talk with expertise about anything. Let's break down what it is that we feel like they probably aren't going to understand. And maybe we've had experiences where like that they actually do not get it. What is it that we need them to get? Well, like first of all, when I leave the building, I can't just work on the shit, the work all the time. I don't have unlimited time. That's number one. When my face is not here, it's not with you.
Right. Because a lot of people are like, oh, you have kids. Fine. But it's 2020 and you got a cell phone and you've got email. But how hard is that? You guys, how hard is it to work with children and little children? It's impossible. We all know that. It's hell. I go to work all day. I come home. I, you know, Tim is also here. I feel very privileged to have that. Like he's super involved and helpful. And, you know, so we deal with Francis. She goes to bed at seven and then I keep working until I go to sleep. Yeah.
And that's because I can't, I can't have, it's because I don't have time for a full workday, like with nanny constraints and everything. So I have to keep working and I don't like my, but then my colleague. who doesn't have a kid will come in and like she's like so tired you know i'm like why is she tired that's a whole separate episode when people without kids tell you they're tired that's a different episode no i just like she comes in every every single day and she's like oh i'm so tired and i just look at her and i look back at my computer i don't even respond anymore and i i have like i have capable of compassion for like i i used to be her yeah i used to be her i was that person you know and she and she really is tired yeah right yes it's just that we didn't know you could be this tired when we were that tired we didn't know this kind of tired was possible oh god yeah And it's just so much more than tired too. It's kind of just a level of, I don't want to call it worry, but it's almost that, right? Just constantly something there that you're always thinking about. It's always the most important thing, the most important thing that could happen or should be happening, or it's just always, always there and always will be, right? When I was, right after I had Wawa and I was in grad school, I had my first internship and my supervisor, who was like my social work idol.
she was um about 10 years older than me and did not have um she was the director of the program and she did not have kids she was she had kids um a few years after we knew each other but at the time she did not have kids and she was I mean hello I'm in social work I was in social work so duh but she was um She would say the most encouraging things to me, like don't let anybody make you feel like having a baby is a negative thing because I have a feeling that your time management is better than any other intern's time management that I've ever seen. I feel like when you're here, you're 100% here because I know you don't have any time at home. And that made me feel so good. It was so right. I also could not take my work home very much.
And she was also like, bring the baby in when your sitter fails. We'll figure it out when you get here. Amazing. I mean, I wouldn't have got my master's without her, period. The end. She was amazing. It's now time for a quick sponsor break. I've talked about Family Album before, and I want to tell you again because it's fantastic. It's a family-focused photo sharing app that makes it really easy for parents like us who are taking so many photos of our kids to share those photos and videos with our family. So they've got this really cool Ones movie feature where you can take...
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They're not in the pool. They don't get it. Not in the pool. Yeah. When my supervisor had kids, I'm so sorry, Ali. When she later had kids, she reached back around and was like, what the fuck? Oh, my God. That is amazing. And I have a colleague at the nonprofit that I work for who is amazing. And she is, you know, her kids are my age. Her girls are my age. And so she does remember, though, guys. Somehow she remembers so well that she will text me a question. And she's so thoughtful. And she'll go, oh, my God. I didn't realize. Whatever it is. Today's Martin Luther King. You can call me tomorrow.
You know, she knows that kids are anywhere near me that it's probably an overwhelming moment, which now to the fact is like, oh, I have a nine year old and a six year old. It's OK. But there are there are amazing people, supportive people out there that do remember. Absolutely. You know, with teaching you, there's really no two ways about it. I can say all day that I don't bring my work home, but there's just you got to squeeze it in somewhere. And for me, what it is, too.
I have a friend at work who's so great and just really super talented. But when she describes, like, she's like, I have to plan this way. Like, I have to go home. I get into my PJs. I slip into my bed. I open my laptop, glass of wine to my right. I put up my iPad to my left and I just like let episodes play. And I'm like about to sob. Oh, wow. Sounds like a dream. She just turns teacher planning into a wet dream.
Yes. Wow. So it's like, okay. It's not that I don't get support. It's that I'm extremely jealous also. Yeah. Yeah. I only got to be the 6 30 PM teacher on my very first year. And then I had a kid. So it's like, God, what's my potential? I'll never know. Cause you're not in, you're not in little kid years forever and ever. You're not. And you're only at the beginning of your career.
So I feel you potential because I am in sales. And I mean, I have read books that say being a real estate agent as a young mom. Good luck. Not till your kids graduate high school. Are you going to start killing it? I see women in the field that have no children. And I see men in the field and they are the fucking top producers. And I get it. Yes. Yes. So it's hard. And like we always say sacrifices. It's what this whole game is about. Right. Do you guys remember that movie? Baby boom.
yeah do we remember diane keaton yeah diane keaton remember diane keaton's boss i love diane keaton yeah he was like what didn't he like oh my god i do remember that movie where she did the jars yeah she's okay in the fall sorry inherited the baby she inherited the baby right yeah i'm gonna watch that again she was like a top dog executive um just slaying at her job and but you know the men were her boss I'm just trying to think of like turning into Molly telling her listeners about the movie it's a great movie she's not bringing it up it's because I feel like if Pretty Were Here it would be kind of like from Diane Keaton's perspective right okay because that is great like she I don't think Chrissy likes Diane Keaton at all that doesn't matter everybody loves the movie she's a killer at work but you know back in LA like all those men she had to sort through I don't know. Right. Anyhow, ladies. Anyhow, you know what that brings us to, don't you? Yeah. Can you guess? Can you guess? Can you guess? Can I? Oh, my God. Does anyone have an alien? Oh, gosh. Well.
I got a failing it and nailing it. Let's hear it. I went to Chipotle after work. My oven's broken. Okay. So that's a side story. Don't worry. The burners work, but the oven doesn't work. So it's like cut out half of the things I feed my kids, such as Amy's frozen pizza, such as chicken nuggets, et cetera. So. Such as. Such as. I.E. Yes. So I found myself out and about a lot last week and there we were at Chipotle. And it's just laid up and kind of like burning the candle at both ends.
picking my kids up past five over at extended day which you know is my trigger oh my fucking god my trigger like dark out and they're starving but they're still in good spirits but by the time we get to chipotle they are losing their fucking shit and they're just being so bad marigold is throwing a terrible terrible fit and augie's just being rude and um i mean i was so embarrassed i was like hissing at them like there are people next to us you need to watch it you don't speak to me that way and um What am I go to? Very close to this table. Right. We're real close to this table. You know how the tables at Chipotle are bolted in? Yeah, like in Chipotle. Yeah, you're just...
Yeah, shoulder to shoulder. So the nail of the story, because all of that is a fail, including all the pants. It was just falling off the Chipotle seat like a waterfall splashing under the floor. That was a side note. But the attitude was worse than the peeing. Much worse coming from both of them. And I look over and the nail is that the people next to me who were being they were like the kind of adults who were kind of locked into each other and would not pay the children any mind. Right. You're like, oh, fuck, they hate kids.
It wasn't until I really took a closer look that I realized that they were speaking in sign language and totally. Wow. They didn't hear any of it, Molly. Let it rip, kids. Let it rip. Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. Molly, that's so brilliant. I love that. Me too. Wow. That really turned out okay. It did. It's just like I just got a moment of my day where I got to breathe. I was like, okay, I'm not being judged for the rude comment he just said to me or the way they're calling each other names. God put those hearing impaired people at that table just for you, Molly, after a long day.
All right. Thanks, God. Thanks, God. I have a fail. Okay. Followed by a nail. Anyway, the other night, I...
had some stomach action going on while i was sleeping and my farts woke him up from his sleep they were so bad oh my gosh and he said it was so awful in there like in our bedroom that he couldn't fall back asleep the noise sorry the noise or the smell no the smell oh shit sarah i don't know what happened i mean like i'm just and so the next morning i didn't know this had happened i was just sleeping the next morning he was like did you eat something yesterday and i was like i don't know why and he was like i I don't know what happened, but it was just really unpleasant and I couldn't fall back asleep.
And I was just laughing so hard because I'm embarrassed, but also like sometimes I'm proud of my body when it does things like that, just to like, you know, nudge my husband. He thinks that like, he can't talk about it. He like noticed that he didn't go like, Oh my God, your farts were stinking it up last night. No, he was like, he can't, he can't, he can't bring it up directly. But then he goes, I guess you've got your nail for the week.
So I'm pretty bad at myself. Good. Oh, no. Allie, go. You got a fail? I have a fail. Right before we started, you guys, I wanted to whip out some dishes really quick. So put the water on and the pump was going like, oh, my pump comes on the water pump really loud. We're on water catchment system. We catch the water into a tank from the rain and it's been raining so much. So I've just been doing lots of loads of laundry and loving life acting so free.
And no, just a dribble, dribble out of the sink. I have so many dishes to do and I have to fucking heat drinking water up on the stove, but there's something wrong. It's rainy season and it's been raining so much and there's something going on. There's like another leak or something. So it's back to the laundry mat for me, you guys. It's back to the laundry mat for me. I have to find some kind of a system where I just maybe go Friday nights or something. I don't know. I'm sorry. What, Sarah? What can you do about your dishes?
I'm going to wash them with drinking water. Oh, babe. I boiled it on a big pot as we're talking, actually. And then I'm just going to chill about it, Ellie. I want just a shred of what you have. I know, because that would send me. You guys would have been hearing from me all day. I'd be grinding my teeth. I would just break all my dishes and go buy paper plates. I'd be having a nervous breakdown. Well, I can do that. I can get some paper for a little while, but I just need to get this one round done because I can't see straight in the fucking kitchen. Yeah, we've been there. Oh, man. Oh, my God, Ellie. I'm sorry. Like all of the shit that. Thank you.
Yeah. When it rains, it pours. When it's great, it's great. Don't forget, I did get a new truck a few weeks ago. So there's still some good things happening. Smell the brand new truck. Yep, throw your laundry in that new truck, baby. That's right. I'm like, fuck it. People are having real problems in this life. I got this. How's the driving up and down the hill with your new truck? It's so nice. I'm scared, though. It's so nice. But I'm scared of all the little branches that are scraping the side of it. Oh, yeah. You want it to be pretty.
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But good luck. My kids already, they've got their muddy feet all over the inside of it and it's driving me crazy. Stop putting your feet on the seat. Stop putting your feet on the seat. I got to get seat covers. Oh yeah. You should get some seat covers, like some sweet Hawaiian ones. Some wetakoles for sure. Ooh, wetakole maybe. I don't know what that is. They're waterproof seat covers. So like you can go in the ocean and then sit and it's all good. I knew that for another reason. Yeah. They're like the same material as a wetsuit.
Molly, we've got to get you to a gastroenterologist. Fuck no. I am a very average woman and the comments on our Instagram and our private emails have proven it. I just want, no. I'm not going to accept that this is your life. No. Listen, I think that we made it sound like we're constantly shitting our pants and it's not true. Not constantly, but...
Seriously, don't make me go back to this. We already had that episode. Kate, you got anything, girlfriend? I was just the quickest nail. I finally started swimming at the pool because my guys know my hip has been fucked. I can't run. And I have been going to the Y and swimming, which is hard because it's 30 degrees right now in New York. So the idea of going and getting in a pool, it doesn't appeal to me. Right. And everybody who swims is super competitive. But I was lucky enough. First of all, in dealing with my pubes, I found a great solution. I found a very modest suit at Costco that basically comes down to my knees, which is so perfect for me. But I got to the pool. I got in.
I got in the medium speed lane by myself because nobody, I was an hour later than usual. Nobody was in the lane with me. I was like, oh my God, this is so great. I have this whole lane to myself. They rate the lanes? Yes. So I'm doing so good, Molly. I feel like I'm like, I'm really winded. Like in my mind, I'm Michael Phelps. I'm like, you know, it's just all bubbles and breath and I'm churning and it feels so good. And I look up, I look up and it's fucking, what are they called? The people who keep you safe in the water? Lifeguard. Thank you. The lifeguard just takes the medium sign away. And while making eye contact with me, just puts slow slash family.
Oh, that's so good. Oh, man. Family. That's fucked up. That's good, man. I was the only one in there, you guys. There was no need for her to humiliate me. Yeah, that is so rude. Nobody else is fucking there. It's to keep me safe in case a real swimmer were to get in that lane with me and swim into me. It's like, let's let you know. She didn't have anything else going on, girl. She had to.
I'm so proud that you're in that pool in that weather. Ladies, it was a good one. It was so fun to catch up. I love you guys so much. Have a great week. And listeners, don't forget, pop on iTunes and give us a review if you can and share the love. And we will see you guys next week. And just let us know if you want us to share more of our naked bodies in any of our pictures because we can. Oh, my gosh. Love you. Bye. Goodbye. Okay, that's it for now. We'll see you next week for another nursing person where sleep is more valuable than fast, hard cash.